How Hard Could It Be?
by bojangles25
Summary: 2 years after the defeat of the Reapers, Ashley and Shepard have moved on to the next challenge, raising their daughters. Set after ME3, assuming Shepard survived the Destroy ending. Main story complete, but taking chapter requests.
1. Madeline Nirali Shepard

**Author's Note:** **First story! There aren't many Shepley stories compared to every other LI, I figured I'd contribute my first story to that cause. This won't be as much plot as interaction between Shepard, Ashley, and the Shepley spawn. Not sure either how long it will go or whether the chapters will be in chronological order, I'll wait until I see some reviews before deciding. Don't be gentle, let me know what I should improve and I'm always open to** **ideas. Also, if any of you know the name of Ashley's mother, PLEASE let me know because I could not find it anywhere.**

**Chapter 1: Madeline Nirali Shepard**

Ashley's eyes opened slowly, groggily, and she was tempted to just give in to the urge to go back to sleep. That would be both stupid and impossible,she knew, but it was still a nice thought to think she had that freedom. The screeching sound from the nearby room was still reverberating through the apartment, and with a long, heavy sigh Ashley forced herself out of bed. She left the master bedroom and walked over to the smaller one on the left side of the hallway. Two buckets of paint lay on a plastic sheet nearby, near the one section of the wall they'd had time to paint. The rest of the wall was still a sterile white that drove Ashley crazy. Making her way over to the crib in the corner of the bedroom, she looked down at her wailing daughter, dressed in fuzzy, Alliance blue pajamas. Still blinking sleep away, she picked her up, and smiled when Maddy's crying immediately lessened and eventually stopped. Maddy would probably be hungry, she realized. Ashley walked out to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle, and returned to the baby's bedroom, all the while trying to keep the baby in her arms from resuming the fit that had woken Ashley up to begin with. Maddy eagerly sucked on the bottle, and her nervous mother immediately felt relief.

"Skipper, where are you when I need you," she whispered as Maddy continued to nurse the bottle. She often tried to make herself be angry at Shepard, but she knew that was stupid. Shepard tried his best to be home whenever he could, but unfortunately part of being an Alliance soldier, especially one as important as Shepard, was that he was needed elsewhere. Ashley loved her daughter, cherished every moment with her, but she could not deny that she was eager to resume her own career. Maddy was seven months old now, and Ashley's maternity leave from the Alliance had ended a month ago, but she had still not been given an assignment. Almost certainly due to Shepard, she thought somewhat bitterly.

Ashley's thoughts were interrupted when a hand reached up and touched her collarbone. She looked down to see that Maddy was no longer drinking from the bottle, and proceeded to gently lift the baby up to her shoulder so she could burp her. Maddy complied, and Ashley lay her back down in the crib, where the baby girl proceeded to fall back asleep. With her daughter quiet and sleeping again, Ashley could appreciate just how beautiful she was. Shepard insisted that Maddy looked just Ashley, and Ashley insisted she looked like Shepard. The truth was probably somewhere in between. She had Ashley's hair, that much was evident, as was the fact she had Shepard's eyes and lips. Looking at her now, Ashley could see how their daughter's cheeks and nose were like hers. Hopefully Maddy would grow up to be pretty, prettier than Ashley had ever been.

Unable to go back to sleep, Ashley eventually got up and checked her extranet messages. After scanning through one page of spam, regretting ever filling out a survey out of boredom and vowing for the fifth time that she would never do so again, her heart jumped at seeing a message from Shepard.

Hey Ash. It's just past two in the morning here, and I can't sleep at all. Thought I would send you a message while I lay here in bed. How's Maddy doing? You know I wish I was there, and I should be home in a couple of weeks. Hopefully earlier. Politics, I was not born for it. I don't care if it's the biggest krogan that ever existed, I might end up punching the next diplomat that insists I personally solve their problems.

Anyways, I miss and love you both. Send me a message back when you get the chance.

John Shepard

Ashley could not help the smile that came to her face, or the fact that any resentment she had for Shepard that morning was gone in the time it took to read his message.

Hey to you too, Skipper. Maddy's doing great, so well behaved. It's a good thing, if she was anything like Mom and Dad said I was as a baby, I would have broken your legs myself so you would have to stay home with me. She's gotten so big in the last month. I'm sending you a picture with this message.

Stay safe Skipper. No punching krogans or anyone else that doesn't punch you first.

Ash

Facing another day of boredom, Ashley walked back to Maddy's bedroom, watching her daughter sleep. Maybe she could continue painting today. First though, she needed some breakfast and some exercise.

* * *

"What do you mean no one can come!?" Ashley shouted. Both her hands were balled into fists, and every muscle in her body appeared to be tense with anger.

Shepard knew better than to yell back, and it always helped to show a little fear, even if he wasn't particularly scared. "I tried to convince them all, over and over, but everyone is busy. Well, except Tali, she has a harsh fever and can't travel right now."

"It's Maddy's first birthday!" Ashley continued to argue. "Damn it, we were supposed to have a celebration here. It's not much of a party if my mom and my sisters are the only ones that come."

"I know Ash. Believe me, I tried my best to get them all to come. I'm as disappointed as you are."

Shaking her head, Ashley fixed her glare on Shepard. "They all managed to show up after I gave birth. They can't show up for a freaking birthday party?"

Ashley continued to fume in anger, and Shepard cringed with every sudden movement. He was not lying when he said he was disappointed, but it could not be helped. It's not like Maddy would remember if anyone came to her first birthday party anyway, but he would never say that out loud. Not knowing what else to do, he tentatively grabbed a hold of Ash's hands, and calmed down when she did not resist. "She'll have a lot more birthdays, where we can force everyone to come. Think of it that way, now we have leverage to make them come for whatever birthdays you want to force them to attend in the future. Even Wrex won't be able to resist infantile blackmail." Ashley broke out laughing, and Shepard brought her in for a hug. The sound of a ringing doorbell snapped them back to attention. "Ready to greet some guests?"

All of Ashley's sisters had shown up at once, and Shepard stood back while they all practically ran through the door to hug her. Once they were done, the mob descended on him, hugging him, kissing him on the cheek, squealing their greetings. The Commander suddenly had that overwhelmed feeling normally present on a mission, and his anger towards the others for not being able to come to the party grew.

Once the horde was finished with him, they moved on to Maddy's bedroom where their fawning over the baby girl could be heard even where he stood near the front door. Shepard was about to close the front door when a voice called out for him to hold on. He looked outside and saw Ashley's mother, well, his now as well, hurrying towards the door, three gift wrapped boxes in her hands. "Why didn't any of them help you with these?" he asked after hurrying to take them from her hands. None of the boxes were heavy, just uncomfortable to carry.

The eldest Williams looked at him as if he was an idiot. "You've personally known me and my family for two years now. Is that a serious question? They couldn't even hold the door downstairs open for me, they had to come see the baby."

Right on cue, Abby came from the hallway. "Mom, you have to come see Maddy! She's getting so big and so cute!" Shepard smiled as his mother in-law shook her head.

The party ended up being rather quiet, at least for Shepard anyway. Ashley's sisters never left her or Maddy's side, allowing Shepard to stay far away in a corner of the living room. Every so often Ashley would pay him some attention, only to be dragged away every time. His company most of the night ended up being Ashley's mother, who like him would get caught up in a conversation briefly before her daughters moved on.

When the party finally ended, Maddy was out cold, the sisters had gossiped themselves to death, and Shepard insisted Ashley sit and relax while he cleaned up what little bit of wrapping paper and dishes needed to be cleaned up. He could not help but stop at the cake and slice off a small piece for himself. Three quarters of the thing was left, and he knew that they would most likely end up giving it to someone else or chucking it. Neither he nor Ashley were cake eaters, and obviously Maddy wouldn't be eating the damn thing. Taking a bite, he had to admit it was pretty damn good, chocolate with some fancy frosting Ashley had bought but did not remember the name of.

Watching Maddy during her first birthday had been an event he would never forget. He was full of pride while witnessing the way his daughter had handled the constant attention, charming the entire room with her giggles and smiles. At the same time though, the party had triggered guilt buried deep within him, that he didn't even realize had been there until now. Maddy was already a year old. She had crawled for the first time, laughing, smiling, her personality developing more and more every day, and he was missing all of it. Ashley had sent him a message a month ago telling him Maddy had even tried to walk, failing miserably, but the fact that she had tried and he had missed it caused him immense guilt.

When he walked in the bedroom ten minutes later, Shepard had moved past guilt to depression. The door leading to the bathroom in the bedroom opened, and Ashley came out wearing a blue tank top and grey sweatpants, her usual sleepwear. Normally he would be all over her, grabbing and kissing, but tonight he simply walked into the bathroom after she was gone, not even noticing the concerned expression on her face. The splash of water on his face felt cool and refreshing. After stripping down to his boxers and undershirt, placing his clothes from the day in the laundry hamper, he left the bathroom with a resolute feeling. Ashley was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Shepard joiner her, staring at the wall ahead. "I'm staying home from now on," he said.

"What?"

"I'm staying home," Shepard repeated. "At least for a few months, maybe a year. I realized today that I am missing everything in our daughter's life. I missed her crawling. I miss months with her. The way things are going, I won't see her first steps or hear her first words. Before I know it she'll be a young girl who's father was never there. I'm not letting that happen."

"Are you sure about this, Skipper?" Ashley asked, not sure whether she should be supportive of Shepard's decision or not. For the most part she was absolutely thrilled, both for herself and their daughter. On the other hand, she did not want Shepard regretting his decision after a couple of weeks and not being able to change it.

"Yes. Tomorrow I'm calling Admiral Hackett, and making all the arrangements I have to. I know the Alliance will let me, I've already had this conversation. With luck, I won't have to leave home other than to meet with whoever I need to see to make this official."

Ashley tried to think of an argument against his decision, but she couldn't do it. Anything she might say would be completely insincere. The smile that spread on her face was anything but false. She threw herself at Shepard, arms gripping around his neck as her lips crushed into his.

* * *

Nearly an hour had passed, and still Maddy would not stop crying. Shepard had tried feeding her, burping her, rocking her, entertaining her with toys, everything he could think of, and nothing would calm the baby down. At best, she would stop crying for a minute before starting up again. She needs her mom, damn it. Ashley had finally been given an assignment two months ago, her first since she was given maternity leave. It was not far from their home on Amaterasu, overseeing the reestablishment of defenses on a colony about a two day trip away, but her absence was a new development that Maddy was not taking well. Not that Shepard could blame his daughter. After a year and three months of being able to see her mother whenever she wanted, both Shepard and Ashley knew the sudden absence would not go over well.

Shepard cradled his crying daughter in his arms, rocking her gently for the third time now, and remembering all the messages he had received whileaway from home, telling him all about how perfectly behaved Maddy was. Too bad he had missed out on that phase. Well, that was not exactly true. Maddy was still perfectly behaved when Ashley came home, which she did every couple of weeks. It was his fault Maddy cried for her mother now, because he had been gone so often after she was born. The pangs of guilt assaulting him were not new, not even close. He had felt them the first time he had to leave, when Maddy was two months old and Shepard was called upon to make a diplomatic trip to Tuchanka. He had felt them when he had to leave three days after her first birthday, to meet with representatives of various colonies and hear their needs along with other influential members of the Alliance government. He was certainly feeling that guilt now, when his presence was no where near enough to stem the sadness and confusion his daughter was feeling.

Maddy's crying continued for another ten minutes, when finally Shepard decided to resort to the one thing that had always worked. He carried her over to his terminal in the bedroom, opening up the messages and searching through the ones he had already read. Finding the right one, he opened the video attachment provided with it. "Maddy, look," he said, lifting the baby so she could see the terminal display and pointing.

Ashley's smiling face popped up on screen, dressed in her blue Alliance officer uniform, her hair in its usual bun. "Maddy," she said, drawing her name out, and immediately the baby began quieting, fixated on the screen. "Hi Maddy. mommy really misses you. You are so beautiful, sweetheart, look at you! I know mommy isn't at home, and you're probably upset, but I miss you and I promise I will be home as soon as possible. Until I get home though, I need you to be a good girl for daddy. Can you do that for me?" Maddy giggled, reaching for the screen. Shepard smiled warmly. "You'll have plenty of time to make daddy feel bad with tantrums, but for now I need you to be a good girl until mommy gets home. I love you, Maddy, I love you and daddy so much." The video stopped, and so did Maddy's crying.

Well, that worked for now, Shepard thought with a sigh. Unfortunately, he also felt worse than ever. All it had taken was one look at a video of Ashley to accomplish what he had spent more than an hour trying to do. Lifting Maddy up so that they were face to face, he smiled as warmly and lovingly as he could at her. "I know I haven't always been here, and that you don't know me like you do mommy, but I love you. I swear, I will always be here for you, whenever you need me. I does not matter where I am or what I am doing, I will come find you right away, you are the best thing I was ever responsible for. Can you do me a favor though? Can you take it easy on me until mommy comes home?" Maddy reached out with one hand and touched his face, a gesture that she often made to her parents when she was calm and relaxed. She would just reach out with one hand and touch them, as if she was letting them know she understood. "That's my girl. Besides, if you don't behave, the tummy monster will come around!" He lifted up her shirt to expose her stomach, and began blowing on it, making Maddy giggle uncontrollably.

Shepard had managed to get back to sleep later, only to be woken up in an hour by Maddy crying again. Now what, he thought, growing frustrated but calming himself as he reached for his sweatpants where they lay crumpled up next to the bed. He took a few moments to wake himself up, but when he stood off the bed Maddy suddenly stopped crying. Confused, Shepard left the bedroom and began walking towards the baby's room. He stopped when he heard a gurgling sound, and broke into a sprint, panicking. Did he leave something in her crib she could choke on? Had she managed to get a hold of something?

Shepard burst into the room, and was stunned to see someone standing over the crib. "Get the hell away from my daughter!" he screamed. The intruder turned quickly, and Shepard stopped in place, heart nearly jumping into his throat. "Jesus, Ash, you scared the hell out of me. Is Maddy okay?"

Ashley smiled confusedly back at him. "She's fine, why wouldn't she be? What did you do to her Skipper?"

"Me? I heard her crying and then she just suddenly stopped," Shepard fired back. "I had no idea you were coming back tonight, I thought someone had broken into the house." He slumped against the wall, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. His eyes were cast towards the ground, and he did not notice that Ashley had taken Maddy out of her crib, sitting down next to him, until a hand reached out and grabbed a strand of his hair. He looked up to find Maddy smiling at him, still making happy gurgling sounds.

"I figured you needed the sleep. You look like hell, John." Ashley made a few funny faces at Maddy. Shepard knew she was right. The bags under his eyes and the pale skin hadn't gone unnoticed to him, it certainly would go noticed by Ash. "Has Maddy made things that rough on you?"

Shepard sighed. "There have just been so many nights where she would not stop crying. Most the time she would only stop if I showed her that video you made. She just wanted to see you, and to hell with anything I would do." He looked over at Ashley, who was whispering nonsense at their daughter. "This is hard, Ash. I knew it would be, but I figured hey, I've killed a rogue Spectre, blown up a space station surrounded by black holes, and somehow managed to defeat the Reapers while surviving an explosion on the Citadel that sent me propelling to Earth. How hard could being a parent really be? Surprise, surprise, a crying baby made me feel more helpless than a skyscraper sized death machine ever did."

"I know what you mean," Ashley said. "Mom always told me that I would know exactly what to do when the time came. What a lie that was. The first time Maddy cried, and you weren't here, I panicked like you wouldn't believe. I was running back and forth, sweat rolling down my face, arguing with myself about what to do. I just picked her up and comforted her and she eventually stopped."

"I wish that worked for me," Shepard said, rolling his eyes.

As if Shepard's statement had been a dare, Ashley handed Maddy over to him, not even asking first. Shepard took his daughter, carefully holding her. To his surprise, she giggled, reaching up with both hands towards his face. "See, she loves you," Ashley said. "Of course she loves you, you're her dad, and you're the most amazing man she'll ever know, even if she'll think she hates you as a teenager." Shepard rolled his eyes. He did not need to be reminded of those coming years. Baby Maddy was suddenly a blessing compared to the prospect of teenage Madeline, who would be a cross between himself and Ashley, a stubborn, fiery monster that would be dating boys and causing trouble everywhere she went. "Besides, if you think I know what I'm doing any more than you do, you are crazy."

Shepard grinned and shook his head. "We are in some trouble then."


	2. I Was Selfish

**Thanks for all the reviews so far, I'm glad people enjoyed the first chapter. This chapter ended up a lot longer, more serious, and Ashley-centric than originally intended, but hey, that's just what ended up coming out. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 2: I Was Selfish**

"Ready! Aim! Fire!" Ashley barked out, and a cacophony of gunfire greeted her command. Bullets ripped into their targets, accurate as always. Technically taking the role of a drill sergeant wasn't supposed to be her job, but the paperwork and constant meetings involved in her actual duties left her longing for a gun range, for the joyous feeling she only felt when surrounded by those like herself. And for all that had happened in her life over the last 5 years, despite the promotions that brought her further and further away from the grunt she used to be, there was no doubt in her mind that she was still a soldier. The same as she always was, she thought with a grin as she watched the men and women of the Alliance that had been assigned to this colony take aim at the targets ahead of them. Those memories of Ashley's first assignments had come back in full force since she began training these soldiers, of being angry about something her sister said and starting a fight with the biggest guy in her squad, of winning a crapload of credits in various impromptu shooting competitions, of taking feathers out of a squad mate's pillow and overstuffing it with sand, the material bursting when the poor girl went to sleep that night. For so long the days of being a grunt had been the happiest of her life.

Not all the memories were good ones. Early in her career especially, she had faced a lot of criticism and constant berating for her grandfather, which Ashley did not exactly help with her attitude. While those insults gradually disappeared, as she proved her capability as a soldier, they had come back in ways that hurt more than ever as she rose in rank. Shortly after she became gunnery chief came the moment her dad's warnings hit home and she realized politics would forever keep her from being recognized the way she deserved. Sure, she had been bitter about it, but she was too stubborn to consider doing anything else. As she told Shepard, it takes a special sort of hard headed to march into a profession your family is blacklisted in, and Ashley was that hard headed and then some. Never, not even in her wildest, most optimistic dreams, could she have ever seen the way her life had turned out. Not only had she broken the Williams family curse, she had done so in a way that would require the worst traitor the Alliance had ever seen to bring that curse back. She was a hero, one of the most respected soldiers in existence. She had the respect she had always tried to earn, the respect she had never expected when she was listening to the insults of others in boot camp.

And she had Shepard. He tried his best to downplay his role, but Ashley knew that without Shepard she would still be a gunnery chief on some colony somewhere. Actually, scratch that, without Shepard she probably would have died in the Reaper War, another casualty to be forgotten while her family received insincere words of sympathy in some letter. Ashley had definitely made the most of her opportunity and earned her place, the hell if she didn't, but none of it wouldn't have been possible if not for Shepard seeing whatever it was that made him decide to give her a chance. At first he had been just another cute Alliance soldier, she had seen plenty of those in her life, but it was not long before she realized he was more than that. Ashley was still not sure what about her attracted Shepard, but she figured, well hoped, they were the same things that so interested her. He was a good man, a brave man, who cared for those under his command. He was a man that had the same passion to help some stranger who lost a keepsake of her husband as he was to save the galaxy. He treated everyone with the level of respect, or disrespect in some cases, that they deserved, regardless of who or what they were. Shepard was also every bit as hard headed as her, which she could relate to. And of course there's the ass. Cannot forget that part, she thought with a grin.

Then came Maddy, the most precious gift Ashley had ever received, a gift that she had not even thought about until the day she had gone to hear the results of her physical, only to have the bombshell dropped that she was pregnant. Wow, had she been scared to death during her entire pregnancy. For her, mood swings did not lead to random anger towards others, quickly forgotten, or sudden sadness with little reason. No, her mood swings had almost all been instances of sudden fear, leaving her panicked and on the verge of tears. What did she know about having a child, raising another life to be a productive adult? How would she know what to do if her kid made friends with the wrong people and went down the wrong path? Those questions still bothered her sometimes, since she really had no answers for them. The day Maddy was born though, after 9 hours in a hospital room that ranked among the most strenuous and tiring of her life, Ashley knew the moment her baby cried, before she had even seen it, that she would do anything, everything to be the best mother she could be. Despite some bad days and tough moments, despite frustration and panic, there was absolutely nothing she would change about her life at the moment.

Ashley had ended up deeply lost in thought, and when she came to the soldiers had all stopped firing and where retrieving their targets from the ranges. "All right, soldiers, let's see how you did!" Overall they all seemed even better than even the day before, let alone two or three weeks ago when she began overseeing their target practice. When she went to inspect the target of one of the older soldiers, a twenty-five year old man named Robertson, something about the cocky smile got to here. "Awful pleased with ourselves, aren't we?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm the best shot of any of us. I may even be able to give you a run for your money, ma'am." Robertson's cocky smile only grew larger.

So did Ashley's. "Sounds like I was just challenged! Pay attention soldiers, you're about to learn why you never brag to a superior officer." Taking the assault rifle from the soldier at the range next to Robertson's, she placed a fresh target on the hook and sent it out, while Robertson did the same. "Ready, aim, fire!"

* * *

Every muscle in Ashley's body was sore when she went back to her room that night, about three hours after sundown. She had ended up helping with some grunt work, lifting and carrying stuff from one place to another, and her body was feeling it. I must really be out of shape, she thought, I used to do this crap all day and still feel good enough to wrestle a bull. She had only just removed her boots when a call came over her omnitool, one of the local government leaders reminding her of a meeting at 1030 hours the next day. The shower she took afterwards could not have felt more refreshing. Feeling slightly homesick, she sat in front of the terminal on her desk, and placed a call to Shepard. It did not take more than half a minute before his face popped up on the screen, Maddy in his arms. "Hey there Skipper," she said with a wide, joyous smile on her face.

Shepard smiled back, pointing at the screen. "Look Maddy, mommy's giving us a call!" he said excitedly. The baby girl must have either been distracted or tired, as she never did manage to look at the screen. "Sorry, she's had a busy day of testing my ability to keep her away from everything dangerous in the house."

"That's my girl, too adventurous for her own good," Ashley said with pride. "Getting used to being a housewife yet?"

"I think so. Managed to cook both breakfast and dinner, I mean actually cooking, with ingredients and stuff. I'm still alive and it tasted good, so I think I did something right. How about you, you look pretty exhausted. That strand of hair hanging over your forehead is making you look quite tempting though. Trying to tease me?"

Ashley reached up and pushed the hair away from her forehead, having not even realized it had fallen out of place. "I had a pretty good day. Oversaw some target practice, only had one meeting, hung out with some people I can actually relate to. Oh, and I got to win some money showing a cocky prick under my command he isn't half the shooter I am."

"Take it easy, you know a soldier doesn't make much money," Shepard said, laughing.

"Hey, he challenged me and paid the price, Skipper. I'm going to be getting on a ship in a day or two and coming home. I'll call you and let you know exactly when. I should be done here soon, and will hopefully be able to stay home for a month before they decide where to send me next."

"I can't wait to see you. We love you Ash, have a good night's rest," Shepard said, taking Maddy's hand and making a waving gesture with it.

"Ditto, Skipper, I love you both. Good night."

* * *

The rumble of thunder woke Ashley up, making the building her quarters were housed in shake. She took a quick peek at the clock on the nightstand, and saw it was only three in the morning. Another quieter rumble made its presence known. Ashley was rarely able to sleep through a thunderstorm. Years of being trained to react to any loud sound had ingrained itself deep within her psyche, and thunder definitely qualified as a loud sound. For a moment she thought she heard voices yelling, but when she listened more intently Ashley heard nothing. The thunder had stopped as well, and knowing she needed to be sharp for her meeting the next day Ashley sunk back down into the bed, the pillow she had taken from home forming around her head.

She had only just fallen asleep when a pounding, frantic knock on her door made her jump out of bed. Quickly throwing on her clothes, she went to the door and opened it to find two of her soldiers and the mayor of the colony waiting outside. The looks on their faces told her that something was wrong. "Why aren't you awake and in uniform?" the mayor, an older woman named Henrietta asked, totally panicked.

"Why? What's happening?" Ashley asked, not understanding.

"We're under attack! Can't you hear all the stuff blowing up?"

The thunder, damn it. Ashley was too embarrassed to admit she thought that noise had been thunder, though. "No, I didn't. Wait here." Ashley closed her door, and sprinted over to her equipment locker. Inside was her armor, the same as the armor she had worn during the Reaper war. All the burns, dents, and various combat marks the armor had picked up throughout the years were present and accounted for. Ashley had always refused when she received offers to clean the armor or get a new set. She remembered the story behind every imperfection on her armor, and wanted to always remember them. They were the scars that reminded her how hard she had worked and how much she had sacrificed to get where she was. Shepard had asked her one time why she doesn't wear the white and pink armor anymore, and while there were a few reasons, the main one was that she had gone through so many sets of that armor. There wasn't the personal connection she felt to her current blue armor. It was kind of hard to explain, and probably didn't make much sense, if she really thought about it, but she wasn't trying to make sense.

With her armor on and secure, and her hair tied up in a bun, she hurried out the door and past the group still waiting for her. A loud boom shook the residential building, causing the mayor to gasp loudly, but Ashley ignored it as she entered the armory near the door leading outside. Her trusty Black Widow of course went slung over her back, while the Avenger assault rifle joined it. A lot of weapons were gone already, suggesting the rest of her soldiers were out fighting whoever the hell was out there. The two that had been outside her door came into the armory as well, one grabbing a shotgun and a pistol, while the other only grabbed a submachine gun, being a biotic and preferring to use those abilities. "Where are the others?" Ashley asked them.

"On the outskirts, near the generators," the biotic, Branson, told her. "They've tried a couple of times now to cut off our power, but we're holding strong."

"Good work, soldiers, let's get out there and drive these sons of bitches off!" Ashley's words were answered with a battle cry, and they hurried out into the fray.

* * *

The battle had gone well so far. The mercs, Ashley was dead certain they were mercs, outnumbered them, but they were undisciplined, poorly trained, and had clearly not thought out their plan of attack beyond relying on superior numbers to overrun their objective. Ashley would be damned if such a crude plan would work on the men and women she had helped train. Ashley had taken up position on the second floor of a building fifty yards from the generators, which allowed her a solid view of the battlefield from which she could both relay orders and pick off mercs with her Black Widow. Next to her, looking out another window, was Craig Esterson, also with a sniper rifle in his hands as he did his best to pick off whoever Ashley did not. "Keep sharp, everyone, they'll be back. Keep an eye on that hill to the west, at some point they'll figure out that gives them a good vantage point."

"Yes ma'am!" came the response over her omnitool.

"Commander Williams, I just received word from the Alliance, reinforcements will arrive in twenty minutes," Robertson told her.

"You heard him, people, twenty minutes and we're golden!" Ashley said, the confidence evident in her voice. Right on cue, two dropships passed over the building she and Craig were in, and landed behind the hill to the west. As the mercs appeared at the top of the hill and began running towards the generator. Ashley wasted no time putting down as many as she could with accurate shots. Craig joined her, not quite as accurate but still managing to get the job done. By the time the first mercs approached the barriers around the generator buildings, half of them lay dead. Ashley's popped out the thermal clip in her gun, reaching for a fresh one on the ground between her and her fellow sniper. She had just finished placing it when Craig yelled, "Dropship moving on our location! Shit, they're going to fire run!"

Ashley never had a chance to move before the wall to her left caved in, and an explosion sent her flying across the room. She impacted into the opposite wall hard, knocking the breath out of her lungs and making her head swim. She looked to her right, where Craig was unconscious. "Commander! Commander come in, are you alright?" She tried to answer, but could only manage a cough. "Commander, Ingles and Martinez are heading your way! Hold on!"

"No!" Ashley managed to rasp. "Hold position, they are trying to get you to abandon the generators. Esterson and I will manage."

"Roger that, Commander."

Shouts came from outside the building, and Ashley gathered her strength, knowing she needed to move. Craig was still unconscious, and despite her best efforts to wake him would not stir awake. The shouts continued, joined by footsteps as mercs made their way up the stairs leading to Ashley's location. She began dragging Craig towards the section of wall that had collapsed, but was only halfway when she realized she would not have time. For a brief moment, she readied herself to go out firing, assault rifle in hand, a fate that even three years ago she would never have hesitated about. Now, all she could think about was not being able to see her daughter again, the sadness in Shepard's eyes when he received the news that Ashley was dead. To hell with that, she was not going to die on this day.

She ran towards the broken wall, looking down to figure out the distance to the ground. It was a bit of a fall, but nothing she couldn't manage to navigate down. The mercs were quickly approaching. Ashley did not think, only reacted, hanging from the outside of the building and dropping with a heavy thud. The impact made her legs shake for a moment, but she quickly recovered and ran towards the generator, assault rifle in hand. She had gotten halfway when she heard a gunshot from the building she had just left. She closed her eyes, letting her regret wash over her, before continuing her sprint to join the rest of her soldiers.

* * *

Shepard had already heard the full story by the time Ashley came home, so the sadness and distraught etched in her expression when she walked through the door did not come as a surprise. The first thing she did was hug him fiercely, followed by immediately making a beeline for Maddy's room. Shepard followed after a few moments, and found Ashley holding their daughter, eyes closed, with a few tears running down her cheeks. As much as he wanted to ask her what was wrong, he knew now was not the time. He left the room, allowing Ashley to spend alone time with her daughter, and walked out to the kitchen to begin cooking a nice meal for her.

The sun had gone down and the Shepard family were all on the couch watching television. Ashley was holding Maddy in her lap, her attitude markedly improved from where it had been a few hours earlier. For her part, Maddy had been remarkably well behaved that day, as if she could sense the depression within her mother, and was now asleep. "I'm going to go put her to bed, I'll be right back," Ashley said.

Shepard thought about how to approach the subject of what happened at that colony. Ashley would definitely be reluctant, that much was certain. Reports were of two Alliance casualties, compared to a vastly larger and so far undetermined number of mercenaries. The attack was believed to be the latest attempt by various mercenary groups to take advantage of the weakened states of colonies around the galaxy, and while official reports were usually to be taken with a grain of salt Ashley had already confided that the official report was true in this case. Based on the fact that thirty Alliance soldiers, many of them newer recruits, had managed to defeat a force that outnumbered them at least 4 to 1, the likelihood of these mercenaries being funded by anyone with a real agenda was low.

When Ashley came back out to the living room, the weariness evident in her eyes made Shepard reconsider whether to ask her anything that night. Screw it, he eventually said to himself, nudging Ashley lightly with his shoulder. "Ready to talk yet?" he asked.

Ashley leaned back, staring at the ceiling. "Not really. But you won't leave me alone until I do talk, will you?" Shepard grinned at her, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Well, since you already know the official story, and I told you that was pretty much what happened, what do you want to know?"

"Just one question. What's eating you right now? Something happened during the battle I would assume."

Ashley took a deep breath, thinking about whether she really wanted to do this. As happy as she had been to come home, it had only reminded her of her selfish reasons behind leaving Craig in that building. Hopefully talking about it would make her feel better. "I was in a building overlooking the battlefield, so I could give orders and provide sniper fire, along with another soldier named Craig Esterson. Things were going well, when I received word that the reinforcements were twenty minutes out. Two dropships set down a fresh load of mercs near a hill to the west, and once they were done took out the wall of the building, sending both me and Craig into the opposite wall. I only got the wind knocked out of me, but Craig was knocked unconscious." Ashley took another deep breath.

The tears forming in her eyes did not go unnoticed to Shepard. He figured he could guess the rest of the story. "So Craig was one of the two casualties, and you feel guilt?"

"I freaked out," Ashley said. "I heard mercs coming up the stairs towards our location, and began dragging Craig towards where the wall had caved in. I was still weak from hitting the wall though, and I knew that I couldn't get him out of there. So I ran, and left him there. I was halfway to the rest of my soldiers near the generator when I heard the shot." A few tears fell down Ashley's cheeks, which she immediately rubbed away.

"It sounds like you did what you could, and made an informed decision," Shepard told her.

"Skipper, if I had been in that scenario during the Reaper War, I would not have hesitated even one moment before deciding to stay and fight. If I die protecting a fellow soldier, well that's a possibility. The only reason I did not stay and protect Craig with my life is because I did not want to die. I did not want to leave you and Maddy. I couldn't bear the thought of never being able to see my daughter again."

Shepard understood now, and grabbed Ashley's left hand with his right. It was a place he had been after Maddy had been born as well. Knowing that he had a child at home had changed his entire thought process out in the field. He couldn't tell her it wasn't selfish to think that way. He wasn't even sure he could tell her she hadn't been wrong. All he could do was analyze the scenario she had described, and give his opinion as a fellow Alliance soldier. "So your soldiers were still fighting at the generator, while you and Craig were in the building?"

Ashley nodded. "Yeah. They were going to send two of the to help us, but I told them not to, that the attack on Craig and I was intended to draw forces away from the mercs' objective."

"I'm going to run this by you again. You were in a building that oversaw the battlefield, relaying orders and providing sniper support. Eventually a dropship compromised your position, you attempted to get yourself and your fellow soldier out of there, but this was not possible. So you left him and regrouped with the rest of your squad."

"Correct, Skipper. They were pretty freaked out when I got there, and really glad to see me."

Shepard smiled warmly at her. "Ash, it sounds like you made the right decision. I know you still think of yourself as a grunt, that you do not like to think of yourself as being any more important than the soldiers under your command, but that's not the reality of the situation. You tried to get Craig out of there. You were unable. Which do you think is the worse scenario? Staying and dying with one soldier, and dooming the rest of your squad, or leaving that one soldier to help the others?"

"Both those options are horrible, Skipper," Ashley groaned.

Shepard continued smiling at her. "I've been there Ash, and so have you. You know you made the right decision."

"John, I only left for the most selfish reasons, my squad was hardly on my mind."

"You may think that, but I know you. I know that even if you do not think so, you always have the best interests of those under your command in mind. The day you make a decision like this and it is not the right choice, you can feel this type of guilt. But I'll be damned if you drive yourself crazy over this."

Ashley grabbed the hand holding hers with her free hand. "I guess this proves I wouldn't have been able to handle all the choices you had to make, huh?"

John's smile left his face briefly. "Ash, I've woken you up in the middle of the night because of my nightmares enough times for you to know I did not make such decisions unscarred. I've always done what was necessary, just like you always have and I know you would have in my place."

Ashley leaned forward, placing a full, passionate kiss on Shepard's lips. "You are amazing, Skipper. I actually feel better, and I didn't think that would be possible."

Shepard shook his head. "Yeah, I'm pretty great, huh?" Ashley gave him a hard punch on the shoulder.


	3. We Need to Get Away

**Short, not so serious chapter here. Again, thank you to everyone that is enjoying the story so far. Have a few ideas as to what to do next chapter, not sure which I'm going with yet. Thinking of jumping in time quite a bit, when Maddy is like 3 years old at least.**

**Chapter 3: We Need to Get Away**

"Maddy, stop right there!" Ashley yelled, hurrying to catch the child rapidly approaching the open sliding glass door. Maddy had taken her first steps two weeks ago, and since then her good behavior had rapidly disappeared. Who knew that good behavior was linked to immobility, Ashley thought as she began to jog after her daughter. It made sense, why misbehave when you can't escape afterwards? Maddy had quickly mastered her newfound walking ability, and was already beginning to learn how to run, as evident by the speed at which she was approaching the open door in front of her. Just before she could get outside, Shepard appeared out of nowhere and stopped her, picking her up off the ground. "This is beginning to suck," Ashley said, taking Maddy from Shepard's arms. "You do not run from mommy," she said, looking her daughter in the eyes. "Got it, you do not run from mommy, ever."

"I highly doubt she knows what you are saying," Shepard said.

"Well she better learn. I'm not going to speak to her in gibberish like you do." Ashley carried Maddy over to her playpen, putting her inside and checking the small door to make sure it was securely closed. The baby girl immediately picked up one of the toys on the ground, her adventure already forgotten in her mind at least. "Jesus, John, I thought I told you to keep an eye on her while I was in the bathroom. What if she had gotten outside without either of us noticing?"

"She didn't, and obviously I did have my eye on her since I caught her before she got out?" Shepard said, his temper rising.

Normally the hostility in Ashley's eyes at that moment would make Shepard back down, but at the moment he was feeling every bit as hostile. The two stared at each other for an amount of time neither bothered to count. Then Maddy began giggling, getting the attention of both her parents. The tension and anger that had nearly built up in both of them disappeared as they watched their daughter play with a stuffed animal. "That was a close one Skipper. That would have been fight number three of the day. At one point do we end up sparring each other and letting our fists do the talking?"

Shepard knew it was a joke, but he couldn't bring himself to laugh at it. "This is ridiculous. We've been fighting all the damn time lately. I hate to say it this way, but we need some time away from our daughter. One day she'll start giggling, and we won't give a damn because we'll be too busy yelling and screaming."

"I'm open to ideas," Ashley said.

Shepard sat down on the couch, rubbing his right temple as he thought. "Well, finding someone to watch Maddy while we're out is easy. Hell, all of your sisters would volunteer for that duty, and Abby has a kid so she would probably know how to handle Maddy better than we do. From there, who cares? We'll find something fun to do. Doesn't matter what, just something to let us have a night to ourselves."

Ashley stared off in a random direction, not really looking at anything. A night alone with Shepard was a great idea and something she both needed and wanted. On the other hand, she was still feeling extremely protective of Maddy, and just knew the baby girl would be occupying her thoughts all night even if she wasn't around. She watched Shepard's eyes, and saw that he was desperately hoping she would say yes. "Okay," she said. "I'll give Abby a call first, if she can't I'll call Lynn and Sarah in that order." She knew she didn't have to say why Sarah would be her last choice, not after the last time Sarah had watched Maddy for a couple of hours. Who the hell does a baby's hair that way, honestly?

* * *

"I got it, now get the hell out of here and have a good time," Lynn said, pushing Ashley and Shepard out the door.

"Okay, I just want to say one more time…" Ashley began.

"No! You told me everything at least twice already. I'm locking you out of your house for the next two hours, no argument. If you spend that time sitting here waiting, that's your choice."

Both Ashley and Shepard opened their mouths to argue, but Lynn had already slammed the door in their face, and the sound of the lock engaging let them know she had been serious. "Looks like we're leaving," Shepard said, staring at the door in shock.

The bar had been surprisingly empty, and the dozen or so people there were all sitting near the stage where a half decent band was playing. This left Shepard and Ashley with their own little corner of the bar as they sat in a booth and drank, sharing stories. "That isn't true Ashley, and you know it," Shepard said.

"Swear to God, Skipper," Ashley insisted. "Five of them, and a Banshee. That Black Widow is no joke, best birthday present you ever gave me. Makes Reaper abominations no more harmless than a pimply faced teenager."

Shepard was still skeptical, but kept his mouth shut. He had been having a great time so far, glad that he had insisted on this night out for them. For the first time in probably a year, since Maddy was around six months old and they still cared enough to try. It had only taken a few minutes of carefree conversation for Shepard to remember all the things he loved about Ashley.

The band currently on stage left, and a new group came on, playing slower music. Shepard stood, offering his hand to his wife. "Care to dance?"

Ashley looked at him as if he had sprouted horns from his head. "I've seen you dance, John, and I've danced with you. Let's just sit here and listen to the music."

"Come on Ash, I did fine at the wedding," Shepard insisted. Ashley had made him practice a lot, he had spent more time practicing his dancing than he had helping with the actual ceremony. "I'm not getting my dress stepped on half a dozen times because you can't dance," she had told him. He had somehow managed not to embarrass himself when it was time to dance, and Ashley had rewarded him for that on their honeymoon.

Ashley rolled her eyes, and reluctantly took Shepard's hand. It was true that he had gotten better, but dancing amongst friends and dancing in public where people would see them were different. Not that she was embarrassed by Shepard himself, but if she overheard a particularly nasty insult or thought someone was laughing too much at their expense, she couldn't promise she'd would not overreact and confront those people. Shepard confidently led her to the dance floor in front of the stage, the band still playing a slow song, easy to shuffle along too. They basically did just that, Shepard doing a good job of at least looking as if he was a coordinated dancer. After the first song was over, the band began playing a somewhat romantic song, and Shepard took Ashley's hand, placing his arm around her waist as the two danced close. Outside of a couple missteps, Shepard again outperformed her expectations. Then she heard the first snicker, and her smile disappeared.

Shepard heard it too, and it wasn't the first he had heard. He didn't care, but judging by the sudden fierceness in Ashley's eyes she was ready to say something. That anger needed to be defused now, before it ruined their night. "Come on," he said, pulling Ashley closer to the table where the laughing had originated, three men and two women seated there. Once they were near, and the suddenly apprehension on those faces became clear, Shepard went to work. His dancing went from passable to awful, limbs flailing, moving too fast, too slow, accidentally bumping into their table sometimes, dancing as bad as he could while Ashley watched and tried her hardest not to laugh as loud as she could. Well, that was one of my goals, Shepard thought with a smirk of his own on his face.

Eventually one of the men at the table stood up and cleared his throat. "Do you mind? You're interrupting our evening."

Shepard did not stop, merely slowing his spastic movements and looking at the man. "I was enhancing your evening a few moments ago. Just thought I'd give you a closer look." Shepard did a purposely awkward spin, again hitting the table and nearly knocking over a couple glasses. Ashley could not hold back her laugh this time.

The man continued to glare at Shepard, but never actually did anything. Eventually he motioned for the others to follow, and they did so. Once they had left, both Shepard and Ashley burst out laughing.

The two of them walked slowly back home after they left the bar, taking their time and enjoying the sights around them. Ashley couldn't be happier in that moment that they lived on Amaterasu, rather than some highly populated planet that required a sky car to go anywhere. Just seeing the sights, left arm hooked through Shepard's right, was a great end to a fun night. She had her fun, and she was ready to go home and resume being a mother. She looked up at her Skipper, and she could tell right away that the same thoughts were running through his mind. "Thinking of Maddy, too?"

"Yeah," Shepard confirmed. "It was nice to have a night to ourselves, but I've been thinking of Maddy for like an hour and a half now. Is she okay, has she been sleeping well, did she eat, did she cry because we weren't there, you know the questions."

"Yep, thinking the same thing," Ashley said. "Jeez, we're full blown parents now Skipper. Even when we have a night to ourselves we're thinking of the kid."

Shepard nodded. "Think we'll be able to get through it and not hate each other?" he joked.

"Sure. We'll have entire days to spend alone when she starts school. By that point, we'll be over her crap anyway. We can bond over it." Ashley joked.

When they got home, Lynn was in the kitchen making herself a snack. She smiled and waved at them, bringing a finger to her lips to tell them to stay quiet. "Maddy fell asleep about thirty minutes ago," she told them when they came closer. Offering a sly smile, she asked, "So did you have a good time?"

"We really did, Lynn," Ashley said gratefully. "Thank you so much."

"Always happy to help, sis. You have the most awesome baby ever. If I have a baby half as easy and fun as Maddy, I'll consider myself the luckiest mom in the world."

"I certainly do," Ashley said with a warm smile.

Shepard cleared his throat. "Are you two talking about Maddy? Madeline Shepard?"

Lynn gave him a chiding stare. "She can relate to us, we're all girls. Maybe you should embrace your feminine side."

Ashley laughed, placing a hand on Shepard's arm. "Please, for the love of God, do not embrace your feminine side."

* * *

"Mommy!" Maddy cried, moving as fast as her stubby legs allowed towards the kitchen where her mother was chopping vegetables. A barrier blocked her path, and she stood near it, bottom lip stuck out as she pouted. "Mommy!" she repeated. Ever since she first said mommy and daddy, she was constantly saying one or the other.

Maddy is going to be a very talkative kid, Ashley thought as she put down the knife she was using to cut the lettuce and tomatoes in front of her. She wiped her hands on a hand towel and knelt down near the baby barrier. "What do you want Maddy?" The increasingly curious baby girl pointed towards the counter. Ashley looked in that direction, where the vegetables she had been chopping lay. "Sorry, sweetheart, that's for dinner."

Maddy continued to pout, pointing desperately. Ashley couldn't resist the look on her face, and grabbed a small slice of tomato. When she handed it to Maddy though, the baby girl kept pointing, shaking her head no. Ashley picked Maddy up, bringing her over to the counter. "Okay, what would you like then, the lettuce?" Ashley picked up a small piece, and again Maddy shook her head. When she reached towards the counter again, Ashley realized what her daughter was so interested in.

Picking up the knife, but keeping it a far distance from the little girl's grasp, she put on the most serious face she probably ever had around Maddy. "Maddy, this is dangerous. You can't have this. It can hurt, bad." Maddy tried to reach, and Ashley held the knife further away. "No, Maddy. You don't touch knives. No knives." Maddy's arm stopped reaching, and the pout on her face lessened a little. Ashley carried her back over to the edge of the kitchen, where she again placed her on the other side of the baby barrier blocking access to the kitchen. As always, Maddy was focused on something else already and ran towards her playpen.

The front door opened when Ashley went back to chopping lettuce, and Shepard walked in with the groceries he had been sent out to retrieve. He began placing them on the counter, listing them all as he did so to make sure he did not miss anything. "Good work, Skipper."

"Not a problem, at all. Very few things satisfy my hunger like the toasted subs you make." A hand on Shepard's leg let him know that Maddy had noticed his arrival. She stretched both arms upwards and Shepard did not resist, lifting her in his arms. "How's my girl doing?"

"Daddy!" she said happily.

"That is still so great to hear," Shepard said. A beeping sound from the office further down the hall got everyone's attention. "I'll get it, pretty sure it's for me." He put Maddy down before walking to the office.

Now that she had her two loafs of bread, and all the ingredients were ready, Ashley was ready to make the subs. It was one of the first meals she had ever gotten good at preparing, and for a long time was one of only two or three she ever made for herself. Cooking was not something she had to worry about for years, though sometimes she had stared down at the alleged "food" an Alliance chef would serve her and wish she had cooked something herself. After placing the lettuce, then the meats, then the cheese, then the pickles, before topping the sandwiches with another layer of lettuce and slices of jalapeno peppers. With everything in place, she poured some olive oil and vinegar over both sandwiches and closed them. She would save the condiments for afterwards. She didn't like anything on hers, while Shepard loved mustard.

The subs had been placed in the oven and Ashley was washing her hands when Shepard came back out, a reserved smile on his face. "I have some work to do," he said. "Krogan and Salarians bickering about Krogan expansion again. Wrex and the dalatrass requested my presence in a meeting with the Council."

"The dalatrass wants you to go?" Ashley asked. As far as she knew the Salarian government in general still publicly denounced Shepard's decision to cure the genophage. So far there had been no real problems with the Krogans, a few heated debates and that was it, but the dalatrass still held a grudge.

"I'm surprised too, but I would have gone even if she didn't want me to." Maddy waddled over to her daddy again, but this time Shepard did not pick her up. They were trying to cut down on the number of times they lifted her. "The Councilors told me they would appreciate if I attended this meeting as well."

"They might as well make you the new human councilor," Ashley joked. "Ugh, maybe I shouldn't joke about that. I'm sure they've asked you." Shepard's silence and awkward smile told Ashley she was right.


	4. Together Again

The damage to the Citadel when the Crucible fired had at the time seemed unsalvageable, yet just short of two years later the Presidium had been fully repaired, allowing the Council and various ambassadors to resume their duties. While approaching the dock leading to C-Sec, dozens upon dozens of ships, belonging to every race, could be seen around the Citadel arms. An announcement while inside the elevator said that two of the arms were again livable, and had already begun selling properties for businesses, along with apartments to live in. Another arm was expected to be repaired by the end of that year as well. "I can't believe they fixed this piece of garbage this quick," Ashley said as they rode down in the elevator, holding Maddy's left hand.

"Why is it a piece of garbage?" Shepard asked. He was holding Maddy's right hand.

"Really, Skipper? This place was built by the Reapers to make their job easier. It's an enormous monument to the stupidity of every race that found the Citadel, and didn't once question why everything about it was so convenient. They never even figured out how the damn thing worked. The Reapers showed up and moved it, have we figured out how to do that yet? Of course not, we don't know even know simple stuff like what the Keepers were or where they always seemed to come from."

Ashley had a point. The Citadel was still hovering above Earth, with no one able to figure out how the hell it had been moved in the first place. The popular theory at this point was that the Reapers had actually managed to push the damn station to it's current position. That was ridiculous, but it was somehow picking up steam as a possibility. Shepard did not really care anymore about unlocking the secrets of the Citadel. The Reapers were gone, they had all the time they needed to figure out how the damn thing worked. "We only have to come here once a year, well, I do. No reason to worry that much."

"If you say so, Skipper." Ashley picked Maddy up when the elevator door opened at the Presidium, grunting with effort as she did so. Maddy was growing so fast, she could not believe her little girl was four years old already. She was a hellacious little girl too, always looking for an adventure. Take an eye off her for five seconds and she would find some way to sneak off and get in trouble. Maddy had also grown quite talkative, though she had been surprisingly quiet since they set foot on the Citadel. That would definitely change once they reached the site the ceremony was being held at. If anything could get her daughter to turn extremely energetic, Ashley knew a large crowd of people or their friends would do it. Both of them in the same room? Forget about it, she'd end up the center of attention.

In front of the elevator leading up to the Council chambers, the Shepard family was greeted with a familiar sight, dressed in an Alliance uniform and leaning against a wall. "Joker!" Maddy cried out, and Ashley set her down. She was not hindered by either of her parents as she ran towards the pilot of the Normandy. Joker was still flying the Normandy, which other than its basic design had hardly been the same ship Shepard had once commanded last time he saw it. The only familiar sight had been Joker himself in the cockpit.

Maddy slowed when she came close to Joker, remembering what her parents had told her about Joker's disease. Joker carefully knelt down to get on her level, and gave his permission for Maddy to come forward for a hug, which she did eagerly. "Little Madeline, you are not so little anymore. Pretty soon you'll be able to break my bones like everyone else."

Shepard and Ashley both gave Joker a withering look, but Maddy giggled. "I will not hurt you, Joker," she said. "I promise."

"You say that now," Joker said, standing slowly. "Then you will hug me too hard, and it will hurt. Then you will be bigger, and it will hurt worse."

"Joker!" Shepard interrupted. "Stop. Now."

Joker put up his hands in defense, and Maddy looked at both her parents anxiously. When she saw their smiles, she calmed down as well. "Do you want to see Wrex and Garrus and Aunt Tali?" Joker asked. Tali was the only one that liked being the aunt or uncle before their name.

Maddy's face lit up, a huge, open mouthed smile dominating her features. "Yes! Yes! I can see them now?" Joker nodded, and Maddy cheered, reaching for the elevator button.

Shepard hurried over and pressed the button, the doors opening moments later. All of them stepped inside, Ashley again lifting Maddy in her arms. "Are they the only ones already here?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah. Miranda should be here at some point. James will be here soon. Jack doesn't like this stuff, so I doubt she comes. She has the school to use as an excuse." Shepard laughed. He still found it unbelievable that Jack had been teaching at Grissom for so long now. She couldn't have been more different if she had tried, yet she was basically the exact same person. It was strange, but true. "A lot of the small timers were already acknowledged in a ceremony on Earth, so they won't be here. Who am I missing?"

"Liara? Jacob? I'd ask about Kasumi or Grunt, but I already know they don't ever show up to this thing."

Joker crossed his arms, looking up to the ceiling. "I don't know about Jacob. He just kind of fell out of contact with everyone, it seems. Liara wouldn't say for certain, I last asked her about two hours ago, and she still wouldn't commit. She's never missed this ceremony before, I doubt she'd miss the first one on the Citadel."

* * *

The elevator doors opened, and the group made their way towards the Council chamber. For Shepard this was a walk he had made many times now, and it was easy to forget how awe inspiring a sight it could be the first time. Seeing Joker now, he remembered what it felt like when he stood in front of the Council for the first time, after Eden Prime. It was truly intimidating to stand there in front of the leaders of the galaxy, three people whose opinions may not be legally binding but were more often than not the deciding factor for every space faring race in existence. "I can't believe this is my first time here," Joker said as he soaked in the sights. The area was heavily populated at the moment, politicians gathered to watch the coming ceremony.

"Scared, Joker?" Ashley teased.

"I'm always scared when surrounded by politicians," Joker responded.

"How are you not over that by now?" Shepard asked. "You've been dealing with these people for years."

"And I'm crapping my pants every time."

A hulking sight up ahead moved towards them, pushing a couple of people out of the way. Behind him were a familiar turian and quarian. "Shepards!" Wrex bellowed out, moving forward and grasping Shepard's hand hard. Garrus waited until Wrex was done and did the same, while Tali made a beeline for Ashley and Maddy, as always. "Aunt Tali!" Maddy greeted.

Tali practically pulled the little girl out of Ashley's arms to hold her. "Hello Maddy. How's my favorite little girl?"

"I am okay," Maddy said. "I got to go on a trip."

"I know! You have never gotten to see all these people say a bunch of good things about your mother and father, have you?" Maddy shook her head excitedly. "It will be fun, the Council is going to say a lot of good things about us all. After it is over, we are all going to go out and have fun together. Is that okay with you?"

Maddy again nodded excitedly, and Ashley could tell that Tali was smiling behind her mask. "It's great to see you, Tali." Ashley said.

Tali hugged Ashley with one arm, the other still holding Maddy. "You too, Ash. How is life treating you?"

"Fantastic. This little girl right here is finally starting to behave again," Ashley said with an expression of fake sternness.

"How dare you? Maddy is perfect!" Tali said, poking lightly at the little girl's chest and causing her to giggle.

The reunited Normandy crew continued to catch up while waiting for everyone else to arrive. Liara was the next to arrive, dressed in a stunning white dress that fit her newfound curves alluringly. To any set of eyes that did not belong to a mother, the added weight and fuller curves of Liara's pregnancy would go unnoticed. Ashley wondered when Liara would tell everyone, and would keep it secret until she said something herself.

Miranda was next to arrive, looking pale and tired, yet still stunningly beautiful. How did Shepard not fall for her, Ashley wondered as everyone greeted the former Cerberus officer. Even in a clearly disheveled state, she was perfect to look at. Based on everything Shepard had said about Miranda, she had the intelligence and good heart to match her physical superiority as well. Ashley basically chalked it up to good fortune that Shepard had stayed loyal to her.

Since the defeat of the Reapers, Miranda had been given an official job within the Alliance, where she was involved in many different top secret projects. According to Miranda, many of those projects were years away from getting real, tangible results, but a few would likely be made public within the next six to eight months involving advancements in armor for both soldiers on the ground and the Alliance fleet, and shields developed from Reaper technology. Despite the initial protest over her former ties to Cerberus, Miranda had become invaluable, and other than too many overworked days insisted she was happy with how things had turned out.

Now that everyone that was going to arrive had arrived, it was time for the ceremony. The Council said a few nice words, they were all presented with medals and plaques, and five minutes were dedicated to the sacrifice Kaidan made on Virmire. Once all of that was over, it was time for Shepard to give his speech. While thinking over what to say in preparation for this speech, he had considered a bitter speech, calling out the Council for doubting him and making the fight against the Reapers harder than it had to be. Ultimately, he knew that was not what this day was about.

Stepping up to the podium placed for his speech, Shepard cleared his throat, taking a glance to his left and right, where his friends stood and watched him. Ashley was near the end of the line to the right, Tali to her right, and Maddy between them. He didn't fight the smile that came to his face. "I know I am the one that will be remembered the most when the history of the Reaper conflict is taught in schools, when parents pass the story down to their children, when friends gather to celebrate. But I want to take this opportunity to give the heroes standing here next to me the attention they deserve."

"No one would be here today if not for the efforts of those standing here and many others that were unable to be here today. We were for all intents and purposes alone in our fight. Sometimes we had support, sometimes we did not, but ultimately all the pressure was on us. We set examples for each other that we all strove to live up to. Through each other, we drew strength. No matter what we faced, we knew that together, we were the best the galaxy had, and we could stare down any threat, defeat any enemy.

Shepard cleared his throat again. "Jeff Moreau, Kaidan Alenko, and my wife, Ashley Shepard, were the absolute standard by which any Alliance soldier could ever inspire to match. Determined, brave, skilled, always dependable, always there, whether I needed a second gun to cover me, a quick getaway during a mission, or a friend to cheer me up and listen to my worries. Kaidan Alenko made the ultimate sacrifice on Virmire, a sacrifice that deserves every bit the respect and admiration I receive. Without that sacrifice, it's possible we would never have stopped Saren and Sovereign. James Vega was late to the fight compared to the rest of us, but there was no one more determined to defeat the Reapers, not just for Earth, but for the entire galaxy. Jeff Moreau is the best pilot the Alliance ever had, he was the one that flied the Normandy during the Battle of the Citadel, the destruction of the Collector Base, and in our hour of victory, he fought as hard as anyone could ever be asked during the Battle for Earth. He was with me every step of the way, and put the galaxy ahead of even his career in order to help me. I could never ask for a better pilot, and if I did there wouldn't be one."

"My wife, Ashley, is as skilled a combatant on the battlefield as exists in this universe. She is staunchly loyal, brave as anyone I ever met, and smarter than she ever gave herself credit for. And as much as anyone else, she was the reason I fought. No matter how low the odds, no matter what I faced, I fought for her, for everyone that has someone special in their life. Ash, you deserve everything good in life, and I still fight to make sure you get that everything."

"Humanity was never alone in the fight against the Reapers, and it only takes one look at those standing with me to see that. We were all in this together, every race faced the same horrible consequences if we failed, and Urdnot Wrex, Garrus Vakarian, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, and Liara T'soni are not only great friends and soldiers, they are the finest representatives of their races that could ever exist. They all had reasons that would have allowed them to walk away from our fight, and I could never have blamed them, but they are not built that way, they are too damn good for that. I could never repay them for the help and friendship they have provided. The galaxy and I owe them our lives."

"There are more that are not here, who do not get the attention they deserve. Jack, Thane Krios, Urdnot Grunt, Jacob Taylor, Samantha Traynor, Kelly Chambers, Greg Adams, Charles Pressley, Legion, Mordin Solus, there are so many names that deserve all of the attention I have received. Some of them paid the ultimate price to defeat the Reapers, some of them received no invitation to be here today, and some could not come because they are still out there, doing good things to make our lives better. They are not forgotten, and never will be by me or anyone that knew them."

"Our fight against the Reapers was hard. It took every ounce of our being, all the dedication one is capable of, to defeat them. Yet I never doubted our chances, not with the men and women standing beside me. I knew that we were the best, and if we stood together, there was nothing we could not accomplish, and I'll be damned if anyone tells me otherwise. We were proof, in a time when it would be easy for every species in this galaxy to run to their own little corner and abandon everyone else, that when the galaxy stands together, united, there is nothing we can not accomplish."

"Above all else, I also want to take this opportunity to make it clear to everyone who ever fought alongside me, who put themselves in danger because they knew it was the right thing to do, I want them all to know that I love you all like family. You are my family."

Shepard stepped away from the podium to polite applause, but he barely heard it. All he cared about were the slaps on the back he received from Garrus and Wrex, the handshakes and smiles from Miranda, Joker, and James, and the tearful hugs from Liara and Tali. Lastly came Ashley, fighting back tears herself, and Maddy, their daughter, the child Shepard had dreamed of someday having in his darkest days.

* * *

The captain of the _Thonotosassa_, the ship James was currently serving on, had offered his ship as a party spot for Shepard and his former crew to come to after the ceremony. There was no bar like in the Normandy SR2, but an observation room similar to the one on the SR2 served their purposes just fine. Shepard ended up in a corner with Miranda, Garrus, James, and Joker, the four of them with drinks in hand as they laughed over stories. "So how about this breakthrough in the armor we are wearing you've been talking about?" James asked Miranda. "Rumors are flying Aussie, anytime soldiers hear about something that helps keep them safe, they talk and talk."

Miranda rolled her eyes. "I know, and despite our best efforts most of the Alliance has at least heard of it by now. We've done some pretty amazing stuff studying the dead Reapers and figuring out their technology. This armor upgrade we've finished is lightweight, easy to wear, but it's at least twice as strong as the heaviest armor, maybe three or four times stronger. It should be implemented no later than a year from now."

Shepard grimaced, taking a sip of his drink. "Using Reaper technology doesn't seem safe." He took a look over on the couch, where Maddy sat on Ashley's lap while Tali and Liara fussed over her. Wrex was talking to Ashley, the two of them laughing every so often. "Are you sure you know what you are doing?"

"Absolutely, Shepard," Miranda said with complete confidence. "I know there are many reasons to be paranoid, and I promise we could not have been more cautious when we began. I promise though, we are not seeing anything negative." Shepard nodded. There was no reason not to believe Miranda. He just hoped she knew what she was doing.

Ashley looked over while Wrex was talking, seeing the look on her husband's face and wondering what they were talking about over where he was. "They haven't tried anything since," Wrex continued, his story one of his usual ones about a group of dissenting younger Krogan challenging his leadership.

"Why don't you just take care of them permanently?" Ashley asked.

Wrex laughed. "I can't fault the younger generation for thinking they can take me on. The day another Krogan kills me, he will deserve to lead our brethren."

"Can you not talk about this in front of the child?" Liara said, smiling at Maddy.

"Why not?" Wrex asked. "She'll learn eventually."

"Wrex, that's awful," Tali chimed in. "Maddy may never need to fight."

"With parents like Williams and Shepard? Doubtful."

"Hey, Shepard and I may be Alliance to the core, but we fought so that Maddy can do whatever she wants," Ashley said, bouncing Maddy on her knee and making her giggle. "If she wants to join the Alliance, I won't stop her, but I hope she finds something safer to do with her life. I'd prefer she not kill people to make a living."

"Me, kill someone?" Maddy said, and Ashley grimaced. "I would not do that. I like others."

"Of course you do, Maddy," Liara said. "You are the sweetest, best little girl in the entire world. You'd never hurt others."

Wrex chuckled lowly. "Kind of insulting to your child, Liara, to say another is the best little girl."

Liara jumped, eyes wide in shock. Tali was staring at Liara curiously, and Ashley couldn't believe what she just heard. She would never have expected Wrex to be able to tell Liara was pregnant. "How do you know?" Liara asked.

"Know what?" Tali asked right after.

"What, the rest of you don't see the curves? I thought it was obvious she was pregnant."

"Who's pregnant?" Garrus asked, and his question caught the attention of Shepard and those around him. Shepard's first thoughts were that Ashley was pregnant again. Then he noticed who everyone was looking at.

"I am," Liara said. "I was trying to keep it a secret, but I guess that's not possible now."

Tali threw herself at Liara, hugging her and babbling. "Oh Keelah that's so great! How long? Who is the father? What are you going to name her?" Everyone else smiled at Liara, completely uncomfortable and caught off guard by the quarian attached to her.

"What does that mean? Pregnant?" Maddy asked, and Shepard choked on the liquid going down his throat.

"Tali, please," Liara said, and Tali backed away. "I'm two months into my pregnancy. The father is a human male I met on Thessia, his name is Derrick. We've been in a relationship for about eight months now. He wanted to come with me to this ceremony, but I told him I preferred to go alone."

Shepard's famous teasing grin spread on his face. "She was embarrassed to bring him home to meet the family." The protest in Liara's eyes told him he was right. "Don't lie, I know that's it. You were worried about him being around the rest of us. All you had to do was tell us to behave and we would have kept our mouths shut."

"Shepard, that's not it. I would never be embarrassed by all of you." Liara looked down. "It's more that I thought the rest of you wouldn't like him, wouldn't approve of him."

"That's not our place to judge, Liara," Ashley said. "Unless this guy is a jerk to you. Then he's getting some bones broken.

"Exactly what I was worried about," Liara said.

* * *

Maddy had refused to go to sleep when Shepard and Ashley reached their hotel room on the Citadel later that night. An hour and a half of watching the most boring show they could find fixed that, and Maddy out like a light. "I'm going to go to that restaurant near here and get us some dessert," Ashley said, giving Shepard a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

"You sure they'll let you take it home?" he asked.

"Of course, all I have to do is drop my name. It's one of the few things our fame is good for," Ashley said, closing the door behind her. Shepard couldn't disagree with that. Their presence on the Citadel was no secret, and the press had been waiting outside the hotel for them in droves. They were such leeches sometimes, it was hard to resist some type of physical violence on the bastards. Not wanting to think about that, he began thinking instead about how much fun he had catching up with his friends that day. It always made him happy when they were all able to get in a room together and just have fun. He had not been exaggerating during his speech. Even having a wife and daughter, those people were his family, who he felt as close to as he did Ashley and Maddy.

Shepard felt himself beginning to nod off when whispers outside his door caught his attention. Quietly getting off the bed and walking that way, he stopped when he could understand the whispers. "I swear, she just left like five minutes ago. We'll break in, shoot him, take the kid and leave. Piece of cake." Shepard immediately bolted through the door and grabbed Maddy off the bed. Desperately looking around, he had no other idea but to put her in the small closet. Maddy began to wake up, but Shepard quickly placed a hand over her mouth. "Maddy, I need you to stay in here and be quiet. Whatever you hear, do not leave this closet. Do you understand?"

"Why daddy?" she asked, frightened.

"Please, you must stay in here. Daddy has to do something. He needs you to promise that you will stay inside. No matter what you hear. Understand?" Maddy nodded. Shepard gave the best smile he could. "I will be back soon. Daddy promises." He closed the door, barred it with a dresser, and grabbed a pistol Ashley had packed. It was a good thing she had convinced him to let her bring this, he had been vehemently against bringing a weapon. He would be screwed right now otherwise. There was nowhere to take cover, and no chance in a firefight against more than one person if he waited for them. Taking a breath, and activating his shields with his omnitool, Shepard kicked the hotel door open.

The first person he saw was an older man dressed in black military style fatigues, and Shepard did not hesitate to fire, killing the man with three shots. Three others activated their shields, but not before Shepard used a Throw field to send them careening into the wall of the hallway. With their shields up, Shepard knew he should save his shots. That was fine, he had done his job. They would be hesitant now, and that would hopefully buy Shepard the time he needed.

Ashley had heard gunfire before she even got off the elevator, and sprinted towards her and Shepard's room, letting the bag in her hand fall to the ground. A thousand scenarios were running through her head, none of them good. The fact that guns were still being fired as she drew closer was a good sign. Gunfire meant there was still a fight. She turned the corner, and one of three men outside the door of the room saw her. It was a young man, dressed in bland, black fatigues. He shouted in her direction, lifting his shotgun and firing at her. Ashley did not even manage to pull her pistol out yet, taking cover around the corner of the hallway. "John, I'm here!" she shouted. "Stay alive, John, I'm coming!" She crouched, glanced around the corner and fired her pistol in the direction of the three men.

"Go get her!" one of them said, and Shepard stood up at the same time. Time to take the fight to these sons of bitches. He caught one of the attackers by surprise, picking him up and slamming him into the wall. With the man stunned by the impact, he used his omniblade to stab the man, a nearly silent grunt telling him the attacker was dead. The other two had run in the direction Ashley presumably was, and Shepard knew she would only be able to handle one of them. He stood up and ran after the other two attackers.

Ashley heard the men coming, and she was ready. When the first one came into view, she sprung up from where she had been crouching and delivered the strongest uppercut she could to the man's jaw. He fell backwards and hit his head against the wall, knocked unconscious in the process. Another one of them was running towards her, but she saw Shepard moving away from the dead body of one of the attackers. A shot narrowly missed her, grazing her shields, but Ashley did not run back to cover. Lifting her pistol and firing, she fired until his shields gave, ignoring the shots coming back her way. Once she was within distance, she delivered the strongest right hook to his jaw she could. The attacker fell right back into Shepard's arms. He wasted no time hitting the man with the butt of his pistol. Both Ashley and Shepard took a look around, making sure there were no more. "Maddy! Where is she?" Ashley asked frantically. Shepard waved for her to follow, and they ran back to the room.

Maddy was crying quietly when Shepard ripped the door open. Ashley pushed past him, diving onto the ground and wrapping her arms around their daughter. Shepard knelt down with them, bringing them both into a hug. Now that he knew his daughter was safe, he ran back into the hall where two of the men that had attacked them still lay unconscious. Shepard brought both back to the hotel room and tied them up using the sheet off the bed. They stayed that way until C-Sec arrived.

Maddy was completely cheered up, as if she had forgotten the earlier danger, as the Shepard family sat at a detective's desk in the C-Sec offices. The easy joy of being four years old, Shepard thought with an uneasy smile. The two attackers they had managed to capture were currently being interrogated, and C-Sec had granted Shepard's request that he and his family be allowed to stay until the interrogation was over. Maddy was still safely in Ashley's arms. She had not let go of their daughter since the moment she hugged her in that closet. Her face was one of cold, furious anger.

The detective was a young woman, much younger than any other detective they had seen so far. She offered them a compassionate smile, and Shepard actually thought she appeared genuine. The detective also seemed intimidated, if he was reading her eyes correctly. "Well, they were willing to cooperate. We'll be investigating to make sure they story holds up, but it appears they were working on their own."

Ashley stared icily at the detective. "I don't buy that. No small time group of thugs would attempt something like this."

"We were thinking the same thing, but they have not appeared to withhold any information. We are using the information they gave us to find out for sure, until then Citadel Security is willing to offer protection."

"That is not necessary, detective," Shepard said. Ashley's expression was rage when she turned to face him, but he calmly stared back. "You have our information, please contact us with any developments."

"Of course Commander Shepard."

* * *

**I'm not planning on making the men who attacked Shepard part of any grand conspiracy, it was a group of thugs trying to make a name for themselves. The incident will not be forgotten though. I kind of ran out of steam towards the end of this chapter, I hope the quality didn't lessen at all. I may go back and redo it if I look back on it and am not happy with it. I hope you the readers like it, as that is what is most important.**

**I'm also looking for some feedback on the characters themselves. As this chapter had much of the Normandy crew in it, I figured this was a good time to ask. Above all else, this is a story about character interaction and I'd like to know if people think I'm getting the characters right.**


	5. Divide

"What about Elbert Lacy? Good reputation, not that far."

"No," Ashley said with no room for argument.

Shepard sighed. "The Asari school? They called me and assured that about thirty-five percent of the students were human, and they expect that number to bump to forty this year."

"No," Ashley said again.

"Damn it, Ash, we already kept her out of pre-school because you refused to let her go, you want Maddy to miss the year she is supposed to enter kindergarten too?"

"We'll send her to a school I'm satisfied with."

"You've said no to every damn school on the planet!" Shepard shouted. They had been having this argument for months. Shepard had spent weeks trying to convince Ashley that their daughter was ready for school. She had eventually agreed, but now none of the schools were good enough. More than a few of them were delighted at the chance to have Madeline Shepard, the daughter of John and Ashley Shepard, attend their school. Maddy herself had expressed quite clearly her desire to begin school. The only problem still remaining was the mother that did not approve of any of the schools.

"What about homeschooling? Someone could come to the house and privately tutor her." Ashley looked over towards the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

There was no question what Ashley's real problem was. They had had this conversation before. "Ash, you need to stop this. Enough. Maddy needs to go to school, and stopping her because of your paranoia isn't going to help her at all."

The coldness in Ashley's stare was something Shepard had never seen before. "Shut up right now."

"No! For God's sake Ash, it was two years ago, and you haven't left Maddy alone since. You won't even leave the house unless I'm here. You won't even leave her alone with your mom or any of your sisters. It's too much, you're not helping anymore."

Ashley's eyes somehow became more intense. "Shut. Up."

At this point there was no chance of that happening. Shepard had to make his point. "Ash, you are risking setting our daughter back. You're being selfish, and unfair to Maddy."

The hand came quick, but Shepard saw it coming. He made no attempt to stop it as the open palm made hard contact with his cheek, snapping his head sharply. The red mark that formed on his face began to sting immediately. Regret was evident in Ashley's eyes, but she offered no apology. Shepard would not have listened anyway. He stood off the couch, offered his own icy stare, and walked out to the backyard.

* * *

Ashley looked down at the floor, every so often bringing her hand into view, feeling the stinging sensation caused by the slap. She had gone too far, and she knew it. Ever since the attack in the hotel room, she had been different. She could not help it. If Ashley had arrived even five minutes later, she might have walked in to find Shepard dead and their daughter gone. There was not a chance in hell she would let that happen again. Not while she was still of this world. Yet if she didn't get over her paranoia, Maddy would suffer for it.

Ashley stood off the couch, briefly looking out a window, into the backyard. She didn't see Shepard out there. That could be dealt with later, when both had calmed down. She walked down the hallway, ending up outside Maddy's room. The little girl was sitting on her bed, reading one of the books Ashley had bought her last week. Maddy had been undergoing something of a change over the last few months, her adventurous attitude being replaced by a seemingly unquenchable thirst for knowledge. A majority of her time was spent reading books, and she was always asking questions. When the subject of going to school had been brought up to her, she had asked what school was like, and proceeded to beg to go after Shepard had told her.

There was no way to fight it, Ashley realized as she stepped inside her daughter's room. She needed to let go, or risk hurting her daughter. "Hi, Maddy," she greeted as she sat on the bed next to the little girl. "What are you reading?"

"_The Tall Tales of Harold Irving_," she answered, closing the book on her finger so as not to lose her place. "It's so good, mommy. The good guy flies around the galaxy on his ship, and his daughter goes with him."

Of course she'd love a story like that, Ashley thought while smiling at her baby girl. No, not her baby girl. Ashley knew it was time to stop thinking of her that way. Maddy had always been fascinated by stories her mother and father told her, of the life they lived before she had been born. "I bet it's good," Ashley said. "I want to talk to you Maddy. About you going to school."

Maddy placed the book down, her face suddenly downcast. It was a strange sight, one rarely seen, and Ashley wondered why she was so sad. "I don't want to go anymore," Maddy said.

"Why not?"

"You and daddy are mad at each other. You are mad ever since I said I wanted to go. I want to stay home if you stop being mad."

Ashley's heart nearly broke. "Oh Maddy, that's not the problem at all. I'm so sorry you think we're mad at each other because of you. I promise that's not why we get mad."

Maddy looked up at her mother. "But I heard you when you yelled. You yelled because of me and school."

"No, Maddy, I promise that is not it," Ashley took Maddy's left hand in her own. "We did not agree about the school you were going to. Mommy is still upset about something that happened before, and she's not being fair to you or daddy. You are going to school, we want you to go to school."

A bright smile lit Maddy's face, "You do? Both of you?" Ashley nodded, and Maddy threw herself at her mother, wrapping her arms around her neck. "Thank you mommy, thank you so much!" It was obvious to Ashley at that moment just how ridiculous she had been acting. She needed to find Shepard and apologize right away.

"John!" she called out as she walked into the backyard. A quick look around showed no signs of her husband. "John!" Ashley called out again. Where the hell is he, she asked herself. Shepard never answered, and a search around the house revealed that the car was gone. "Why would he leave without saying anything?" Ashley asked out loud. "I was going to apologize, you son of a bitch." The fiery woman, anger fully provoked now, walked back into the house.

* * *

Shepard had come to the bar with the intent to drink away his troubles, even if it meant causing more problems, but an hour later he was still sipping gingerly at the first drink he ordered. A few people had recognized him and offered to buy drinks, and that had led to around a dozen people coming up to him and asking questions. Politely, Shepard had managed to get rid of all of them until finally the other bar patrons got the hint and left him alone. He looked down at his drink, the sight of the liquid inside the glass making him sick. He pushed the glass away and tossed the money he owed on the counter before walking out.

The drive home did him some good, as the anger when he left the house slowly dissipated. Shepard had fully provoked Ashley into slapping him, he was not fooling himself there. That didn't change the shock when it actually happened. Of all the things he thought might make Ashley hit him, doing what's best for their daughter had never entered his mind. And to be honest, the school argument was not even what bothered him. She was freaked out, she was overprotective, it was understandable. There had been a chance in that hotel room two years ago that Maddy would be killed. The problem was their entire relationship had changed since that day. Ashley was distant, obsessed, she did not trust anyone. When Shepard left the house to get groceries, she would call if he took even two minutes longer than usual. He took Maddy shopping for toys one day, and when they came home Ashley was enraged, demanding to know why she had not been told. Over the last two years, Ashley had made it clear that she did not trust anyone except herself to be around Maddy. The argument over sending her to school had simply been the breaking point.

When he arrived back home, he walked through the front door to find Maddy sitting on the couch watching cartoons. She turned her head to see who had just arrived, smiling when realized it was Shepard. "Hi daddy, guess what? Mommy says I can go to school!"

Shepard fought hard not to get angry again. "That's great, sweetie, I'm so glad. It will be so much fun, I promise."

"I know," Maddy said, her excitement infectious and continuing to cheer Shepard up, despite the anger still trying to rise from within. "Will I learn more about you and mommy? She said I would when I got bigger. Do I learn that in school?"

"Eventually, Maddy. You will be learning a lot. Before you know it, you will be smarter than me and mommy together."

"That she will, Skipper," Ashley said as she came into the living room. Shepard stiffened at her voice, the smile on his face fading. "Can we talk in our room?" she asked. Shepard nodded, following as she walked past. "I made you a snack Maddy, it's in the fridge." The little girl excitedly ran towards the kitchen.

* * *

Once they were in the room alone, Ashley shut the door and turned to Shepard. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" she asked.

Even though her voice was soft, Shepard was offended by the question. "I went out. Since when is that a problem?"

"It's not, John, I wasn't implying it was. I was just a little worried. We fought, you left, I had no idea where you went."

Shepard calmed down slightly. "I'm fine. I go out sometimes."

"Why are you still acting so angry?" Ashley asked, her own emotion flaring up.

"Because I came home and found out that the second I leave the house you decided to let Maddy go to school. So what, you couldn't just admit that I was right? You had to wait until I was gone and then pretend that you haven't been spending a year opposing the idea?"

The ice in Ashley's stare was back. "I talked to my daughter, saw how important this was to her, and realized I was being unfair. It had nothing to do with who was right or wrong."

"I've been telling you for months that you were being unfair. You just slapped me for saying it," Shepard shot back.

"What is your problem!?" Ashley yelled as she came to stand close to him, furious.

"My problem is the way you've been acting ever since that night at the hotel room," Shepard said. "You don't trust anyone. You ignore me, you ignore your family, you refuse to listen to anyone or admit you are wrong. You act like I'm trying to hurt our daughter. You're a completely different person than you were before."

"What the hell do you think my reaction is going to be when my daughter's life is in danger!?" Ashley yelled again. "I won't ever let that happen again, John, and to hell with you if you are telling me that's wrong. Maybe you need to take Maddy's safety more seriously. It sounds like I'm the only one that is."

Shepard stood up, staring into Ashley's equally hostile eyes. "That is a low blow. That is exactly what I'm talking about. You have no respect for me anymore. I'm sick of it. Go to hell, Ash, I'm leaving for the night, maybe a day or two. Think about what a bitch you are being. Maybe you'll suddenly decide you're being a bitch when I walk out the door, since that's how you act these days."

Ashley watched, stunned, as Shepard grabbed a suitcase out of the closet and packed some clothes. She stunned at what he said, stunned he was leaving, stunned that she knew he was at least partially right. Right now though, common sense was being overridden by her rage. How dare he leave! How dare he call me a bitch! He's a coward! Stay here and talk to me! She never said anything though, just watching as her husband took his suitcase, opened their bedroom door, and walked away.

Dragging his suitcase behind him, Shepard stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the tearful eyes of his daughter. Maddy was standing in the living room, head turned towards the ground, while her eyes looked up at her father. She had obviously heard everything. Shepard let go of his suitcase and walked over to her. "You heard me and mommy?" Maddy nodded, no long looking at Shepard. The sob that shook her body made it clear she was crying. "Maddy, I am not leaving you. I am your father, and I will never leave you. This is like a trip daddy takes when he is at work. Mommy and I need a day or two to ourselves."

"Why am I making you and mommy yell? What did I do wrong?"

A few tears formed in Shepard's eyes. "We are not fighting because of you, I promise."

"Mommy said the same thing, but then you yelled again. You were yelling about me."

"Sweetheart, we are being stupid," Shepard said. "We are not the least bit angry at you. I promise. I'll only be gone for a day, two at most. You need to behave for mommy until then."

"Why do you have to leave?" Maddy begged. "I want to know. I want to know!"

Shepard hugged his daughter close. "Because if I stay, I will say something to mommy that I will never be able to take back. When I come home, we will sit down and talk, and all this will be over. We will be your happy mommy and daddy again."

Shepard ended up in a hotel an hour away from home. It was average, but promised to keep his stay quiet. Maybe he was naïve to believe that promise would be kept, but everywhere else he attempted to make reservations at told him they could not possibly keep his stay secret. Once he was settled, he lay in bed and thought about what the hell had happened that day. Ashley had been ready to apologize when he came home, but it would only have been for the school argument, not for the larger problem. They both need to blow off some steam, and they had sure as hell done that. The problem now was fixing the damage. Shepard had at least one idea. He needed to make a call.

* * *

Ashley hadn't been expecting Shepard when she answered the door, but when she saw her mother standing there she was disappointed. She knew exactly why her mother was at her door and the only thing that stopped her from slamming the door was that she had been raised to obey her parents at all times. "Is Maddy still sleeping?" the elder Williams asked while stepping inside and closing the door.

"Yeah. I'll go wake her up so she can see you."

"No, don't," Ashley's mother said, whispering. "I came here early so that she would still be asleep."

The two women stepped into the kitchen, taking a seat on stools around the counter. Ashley poured a cup of coffee from the pot she had recently brewed. "He can't even come here himself. He has to send you to fight his battles. Coward."

"Ashley, he's angry. You two are one bad insult from ruining your relationship. You're both too damn emotional." Ashley's mother reached a hand over to place it on one of Ashley's. "You need to tell me what exactly the problem is. In all the time I've seen you two together, I never imagined this happening."

"He's being a son of a bitch, mom."

"And you are being completely rational?"

Ashley sighed. "Mom, I was ready to apologize. Ever since we were attacked two years ago, I know I've been a little nuts. I was so scared that I've been fighting with John over sending Maddy to school. I realized I was wrong, and when he came home after our fight I told him he was right. He picked the fight, and he left. It's his fault."

"He left so he wouldn't say something that would ruin things between you two."

Ashley scoffed. "Is that what he told you?"

"He didn't tell me to tell you anything, Ashley. He asked me to come over so you could blow off some steam, do all the complaining you want. That way it will be off your chest. So go ahead."

Ashley didn't hesitate. She vented to her mother for forty-five minutes, about everything on her mind. Their problems with each other, their problems involving Maddy, the attack on the Citadel, the annoying habits Shepard had, the household chores he did not do as well as she did, the times he left on diplomatic trips and did not call every day, his insistence that he can never say no when asked to do something, she did not hold back about anything. After she was done, Ashley was surprised to feel a smile come to her face. "Better?" her mother asked.

"Better," Ashley responded. "I need to find John."

"He's at the Andromeda. I'll watch Maddy until you get back."

* * *

"I'd like to be alone please," Shepard said, laying on the hotel bed. Someone had been knocking at his door for two minutes now, and would not say anything when he asked who it was. "If you aren't going to say anything, go away." Probably paparazzi, he realized. So much for keeping my visit a secret.

After calling Ashley's mom, Shepard had spent his night stewing over everything that was bothering him. By the time midnight rolled around, and he had punched one of his pillows a couple of dozen times, he was beginning to feel better. Now he could only hope Ashley's mom would be able to calm her down.

Whoever was outside the door of his hotel room continued to knock, and Shepard finally decided to just go ahead and answer. Maybe punching some nosy paparazzi would make him feel better. He answered the door, ready to yell. "Ashley?" Shepard took a step back, and breathed in deeply to calm himself. "You were the last person I was expecting."

"I figured. Surprise!" Ashley stepped inside, not even asking permission. Shepard closed the door, and Ashley took a seat on the bed. "Well, my mom came over and let me vent to her. I feel much better, and I realized how ridiculous I am acting. I don't know what happened, something just cracked inside me at that hotel two years ago. I heard the gunshots, saw them outside the room, and I was freaked out that I was going to walk into that hotel room and find you and Maddy dead." Ashley stood and grabbed Shepard's hands. "John, for God's sake do you understand how scared I was? That's the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I wouldn't be able to keep going, I would be ruined."

Shepard briefly thought of what Ashley told him about the two years after the first Normandy was destroyed. "Ash, I know exactly how you feel. If I hadn't heard them whispering outside the door, we would have been defenseless. I was only trying to hold them back until someone came for help, if I died so Maddy would be okay that was a price I was ready to pay. I would have done anything. You never have to question or wonder how dedicated I am to our daughter. You never have to worry that I am not thinking of Maddy's safety at all times. You and Maddy are always at the forefront of my mind."

"How do you do it then, John? How can you trust that when you leave the house, I will be able to protect her? How can you trust that things will be okay when she's at school? How do you not drive yourself crazy trying to make sure she is safe?"

"I do my best, Ash. I don't have a secret, I just manage."

Ashley laughed quietly. "That doesn't help at all, Skipper."

Shepard pulled Ashley close, and hugged her tight. She returned the hug, burying her head into his shoulder. "Ash, I need you to start trusting me. We ended up this way because you wouldn't listen to me, you treated me like a stranger trying to tell you how to raise your kid. You also ignored me. I'm your husband Ash, I need you too. Don't you miss me?"

"More than you know," Ashley said, tightening her grip around her husband. "I promise, from now on things will be different. I can't say we won't ever have problems again, we're both too hardheaded to promise that, but this will be the last time I shut you out."

"Good. This is a direct order, Williams," Shepard teased.

"Aye aye, Skipper." Shepard grabbed his suitcase, when his arm was grabbed from behind and he was pushed onto the bed. When he looked up, a grin spread as Ashley removed her shirt.

Much to Maddy's delight, Shepard and Ashley walked into the house holding hands and smiling. Their daughter ran from the extranet terminal she and her grandmother had been sitting at, and Shepard picked her up in his arms. Ashley planted a big kiss on her cheek, making her giggle. "Grandma said you two would be back at the same time. She was right."

"Of course I was," Grandma Williams said. "I know your mommy and daddy very well, Maddy. They just needed some time to talk."

Ashley walked over to thank her mother, and Shepard brought his mouth to Maddy's ear. "I told you when we talked we would be your happy mommy and daddy again," he whispered. Maddy's bright smile lit up her face, and she wrapped her tiny arms around Shepard as tight as she could.

* * *

**Oh my glob, drama bomb! I figured it was about time these two had it out, and two years of pent up tension over the hotel attack would be a good reason. I hope this doesn't come across as Shepard being totally innocent and Ash being a bitch, and if you all think it did, tell me. I'm also at a period of Maddy's life where all I can think of is generic stuff to write about. So I guess I'll leave it up to the readers to tell me what you want to see. First day of school? First fight? Help with homework? Dealing with work and Maddy's school? Ash and Shepard saying screw it and flying off to fight Reaper love children that Maddy somehow controls? Let me know!**


	6. Why Doesn't Daddy Go?

**Not the longest chapter here, just a few different short snapshots. Hope you like it. Thank you to everyone enjoying the story so far, I'm happy to see so many people that like it, and thanks to those who suggested ideas for future stories. I'll keep them all in mind.**

* * *

As always, Maddy clung tightly to Ashley's hand as they navigated the crowd and eventually separated themselves from everyone else. Ashley said all the goodbyes, while Maddy hid behind the arm she was holding every time someone talked to her. It was only ever here that she acted this way, Ashley was realizing. Normally Maddy didn't mind a crowd, but when they entered or exited church, she was always shy, wanting to hide behind her mother. When they were finally away from everyone else, walking home, Maddy let go of her mother's hand. She loved the walk to and from church, which they always did. The church they attended was only a twenty minute walk away, and Ashley would be damned if her kid was going to be lazy. If she got used to this type of exercise from a young age, hopefully it would stick.

"Mommy, why doesn't daddy go to church with us?" Maddy asked, skipping slightly ahead.

Ashley had been waiting for that. Shepard and her had talked about what to say when she asked more than a few times lately. Those conversations almost always ended with Ashley trying to convince her husband to start coming to church with them, but he had made it clear back on the first Normandy that he was not a particularly religious person. That had kind of bothered Ashley at the time, but no longer did. Ashley realized she had spaced out, and looked down, where Maddy was staring at her while waiting for an answer. Like she had any idea how to answer that question the right way. "Daddy has decided that he can stay home and still believe in God," Ashley settled on saying. "I want him to go with us, but after everything that has happened to him he is allowed to say no."

"I don't remember daddy ever talking about God," Maddy said. "Are you sure he believes in God?"

Damn it, I do not want to answer a question like that, Ashley thought with a groan. "Yes he does, Maddy. He just does not like to talk about what happens after our lives are over." Especially not with Ashley. During the Reaper war, she had asked Shepard about what he saw when he died, and he had tried his hardest not to answer. Eventually he told her that he had seen nothing. He remembered running out of air, floating through space, and the next thing he saw were the faces of Miranda and another Cerberus scientist named Wilson while laying on a hospital bed. Hearing such an answer had shaken Ashley's faith at the time, before she thought about the fact that Shepard had actually been managed to be brought back from the dead. If that miracle alone wasn't a sign that God existed, nothing was.

Maddy twisted her mouth, an expression she had when she was thinking particularly hard about something. "I don't like church. Can I stay home with daddy?"

Ashley gently grabbed her daughter's shoulder, kneeling to look her in the eyes. Maddy immediately averted her gaze, looking left, right , anywhere but her mother's face. "Why don't you like church?"

A shrug was the girl's response. "The guy talking scares me."

"The minister scares you?"

Maddy nodded. "He always says how God will punish us for being bad, and that we will go to Hell. Hell sounds scary. Will God make me go to hell if I have too many cookies, or I leave my toys laying around? What if I do something you told me not to, will I go to Hell?"

The grin on Ashley's face came immediately. "You little goof, of course not. I agree, our minister talks too much about bad things and not about being good. Leaving your toys out or doing something daddy and me tell you not to only gets you in trouble with us." Shepard could be as scary as the devil if he wants to be, Ashley thought to herself. Try and tell anyone on his bad side that wasn't true. "All you have to do is be a good person."

"How?"

"Well, you do a good job so far," Ashley said. "You are well behaved and kind to others. You listen to your parents. You know right from wrong. Just keep doing what you are doing, Maddy, and you will never go to Hell."

"Really?" Maddy asked. Ashley nodded. "I still wish daddy would go with us."

"Me too. Maybe if we both ask him, make him think we are going to cry. We can make him feel bad about not going to church."

Maddy giggled. "That's mean, mommy. Would God punish us for tricking daddy that way?"

"Nah," Ashley said, standing and taking her daughter's hand. "God gave women that power over men for a reason. And since threats don't work on daddy, guilt is our best option."

* * *

Shepard had been waiting in his car outside the building for thirty minutes now, eyes completely focused towards the doors. Two people had left, one had entered, but otherwise there had been no traffic in or out. Shepard checked the watch again, quickly bringing his gaze back to the door. The nervousness building inside him was unusual, and he had no idea how to deal with it. The last time Shepard remembered feeling so nervous was immediately after the Normandy escaped the Citadel, back before Ilos. A bell rang, loud even outside, and moments later the doors burst open. Shepard exhaled heavily before exiting the car.

Maddy did not exit the school for another ten minutes, but when she did she was smiling ear to ear, engaged in conversation with another girl. She spotted Shepard waiting nearby, and presumably said goodbye to her friend before running over to her father. "Hi daddy!" she said excitedly. Shepard picked her up, hugging her close. He and Ashley had decided to stop doing that, but he couldn't help it. His daughter had just completed her first day of school, of course he was going to pick her up and hug her. "You look like you made a friend," Shepard said.

Maddy nodded eagerly. "Her name is Brenda, she sits next to me in class. Her mommy is in the army too."

"Really? What's her last name, maybe me or mommy know Brenda's mommy."

A long pause preceded Maddy's answer. "It was long, started with a L. Landensomething."

"Lenderbarger?"

"Yeah, that was it!"

"Commander Shepard!" greeted a voice to Shepard's left. He turned to see a familiar face standing straight, arm raised to her forehead in salute. "Hello, sir."

"At ease, Carrie," Shepard said. Carrie Lenderbarger was one of the Alliance soldiers assigned to Amaterasu, and was one of Shepard's favorites. She had been in the Alliance for seven years now, was a damn good shot with a pistol and was the best conditioned soldier on the planet. "I didn't know you had a daughter."

"I don't really mention my home life, unless asked, sir," she said with a faint smile. "I see our little girls like each other. I'm glad."

"You have no idea how worried I was," Shepard said, putting Maddy down and watching as she walked over to Brenda, the little girls talking rapidly. "This was like the moment before a mission, wondering what might go wrong. I had all these horrible scenarios going through my head involving Maddy walking out those doors with tears running down her face, telling me she hated school and kids had been picking on her."

"My little girl would never let that happen. Alliance kids stick together the same way Alliance soldiers do," she joked.

"Well, thank you, Private. I'll tell my wife to take it easy on you next time she's running you through drills." The two soldiers laughed, taking their daughters and saying their goodbyes.

* * *

"I swear I'll punch this woman in the face if she says anything bad Maddy," Ashley said out loud. She had been nervous all day ahead of her first parent-teacher conference. Without Shepard at home to calm her down, every terrible possibility involving Maddy's teacher had been allowed free reign inside her mind. During the drive to the school Ashley had settled on the mental image of a frigid, scowling old woman with her hair tied back and over conservative clothing that would rasp out everything Maddy did wrong, and nothing she did right.

After arriving at the school, she took a second to check herself in the rearview mirror. With Shepard attending meetings on the Citadel for the next three weeks, Ashley had to hurry to the school from the base she was stationed at, pick Maddy up, take her home, and call her sister Sarah to baby sit. She had twenty minutes after that before she was to leave for the school, and that was time to either eat or shower before changing. All day on the base left her hungry, and she decided on food. Knowing Ashley did not like to cook, Shepard had made a week's worth of her favorite meals that she only needed to take out of the freezer and heat up. She decided on the lasagna. Sarah had shown up with five minutes to spare, as expected, and Ashley hurriedly brushed her teeth. The first outfit she had picked out was casual wear, but by that point her worries about Maddy's teacher were taking over, and she decided on her officer's uniform for the intimidation factor. Sarah basically had force her out the door, telling her not to hit anyone.

A few other parents passed Ashley in the hallway, recognizing her and saying hello. She was courteous in return as she checked classroom numbers. She froze in place upon seeing classroom 131. The door was open, and a cough came from within. Well, this is it, Ashley told herself. The first step towards that open door was shaky, the next was easier, and before she knew it or was ready she had stepped inside.

The teacher sitting at the desk, writing something on a slip of paper, was not at all what Ashley's mind had decided she would look like. She was young, younger than Ashley. Her light brown hair was cut short and framed her face attractively. A pang of jealousy briefly hit Ashley, and she was glad Shepard wasn't here. It was stupid to still feel like that when they had been married for years now and had a kid, but who ever said she couldn't be a little stupid sometimes? "Excuse me, are you Ms. Stephens?" Ashley asked.

The teacher looked up, the smile on her face warm and comforting. "Yes, I am. Nice to finally meet you Mrs. Shepard." Ashley walked towards the desk, wondering how Ms. Stephens knew who she was already. "It's always a pleasure to meet a true hero like yourself. Please have a seat," the teacher said, motioning to a chair next to the desk.

Ashley did so, sitting up as straight as she could. "Well, Ms. Stephens, give me the news. How's my Maddy doing in your class?"

Ms. Stephens smiled again, easing the dread in Ashley's stomach. "Madeline is wonderful. A little stubborn sometimes, a little too physical sometimes when playing outside, but she's very smart and doing very well. She listens, she participates, her ability to receive and retain what I teach is among the best in the class. She has been a real joy to have in my class, and I'm very grateful to be her teacher."

It wasn't until Ms. Stephens was finished that Ashley realized she had been holding her breath. She exhaled loudly. "You aren't just saying that to be nice, are you?" Ms. Stephens shook her head. Ashley laughed her relief. "I walked in her not having any idea what you were like or how Maddy was doing, expecting the worst in both cases. I can't tell you how relieved I am."

"That seems to be normal," Ms. Stephens said. "This is only my third year teaching kindergarten, but most parents come to parent-teacher conferences expecting the worst, especially the parents of only children. These meetings are as much to ease your minds as anything else."

"My mind is definitely being eased," Ashley said.

"Well that's good. How about I show you around the class. Maddy has some projects and drawings hanging on the wall. I like to see if parents can figure out which belong to their child."

* * *

"Wrex, you need to calm down now," Shepard said, putting as much authority in his voice as he could. "Threats get you no where."

Wrex stood from his chair, which was too small despite its abnormal size. "This isn't right Shepard. You knew this day was coming. If you were so opposed to the idea of Krogan expansion you should never have helped cure the Genophage and let my people die."

Shepard stood now, glaring at his friend. "That is out of line, Wrex. I have done nothing but try and help you. You are the one who does not listen, does not control your people. The next time something like this happens, I may not be able to stop the Salarians or Turians from dropping the Genophage right back on you."

The tension in the small conference room was thick, suffocating. Both human and krogan stared at the other intensely. What felt like an hour, but Shepard would later realize had only been a few seconds, passed before Wrex cracked a small grin, and guffawed loudly. A large hand reached out and smacked Shepard on the back, knocking him forward. "This is why I like you Shepard," the krogan leader said. "You give it to people straight. It's amazing that the rest of these soft politicians haven't gotten rid of you yet."

Shepard laughed, returning the slap to Wrex's shoulder. "I wish they had. Then I could stay home with my daughter and my beautiful wife. I don't have an army of kids to spend time with like you."

"Your loss, Shepard. I have enough kids to start my own merc company. A couple of wives, too."

"I'm happy with what I have, pal," Shepard said, rolling his eyes. As much as it was a joke, the rate at which the Krogan were breeding was the entire purpose behind the meeting that day. With every year the complaints coming from the Salarians increased, and this year the Turian had lent their first tentative complaints since the Reaper war ended as well. And of course, as Wrex's friend and one of the few people the Urdnot chief liked, Shepard was the one that had to deal with it all. "Wrex, I'm as sick of having this discussion with you as you are of having it with me. I'll again talk with the Council and try to find a solution that works for you."

"That will have to do, as always. But I'm telling you now, we can't live this way much longer, Shepard." The two friends shook hands, and Wrex left the room, insulting someone walking by.

Shepard walked back to his ship, wanting nothing more than to punch something. He was not done this day. The guard outside his quarters saluted, and Shepard returned the salute before stepping inside. The room was much like his quarters on the original Normandy, maybe a little smaller, though it probably appeared that way because the bed and bathroom were both bigger. His eyes drifted towards the calendar on the wall, and only then did he notice the date and remember what Ashley had done the day before. He immediately sprinted to the terminal on the desk and placed a call back home. When no one answered the first time, he immediately tried again. This time Ashley popped up on the monitor, hair wet and shoulders bare from a shower. "Skipper, that you?"

For a moment, the sight of his wife like that left him speechless. A few droplets of water were still dripping from her hair and down her face. Two strands of hair stuck to her forehead. Shaking his head to clear the improper thoughts currently forming, he smiled. "I just caught the calendar and remembered what day yesterday was. How did it go?"

The smile that Ashley returned to him brought no small amount of relief. "Very well. I've never heard a complete stranger talk so pleasantly about Maddy before. It was all good, Skipper, even the teacher was ten times better than I had been expecting."

"I told you, I don't know why you thought she'd be some strict old bag of bones. Any adult that our daughter likes has got to be great."

"Yeah, yeah, can it," Ashley said. "She did say Maddy was a little stubborn and hardheaded sometimes. I can't imagine any daughter of ours would be anything else. Other than that, she's smart, participates, is well behaved, and is apparently quite the artist. She drew a picture of the Normandy that I begged to take home."

"Can I see it?" Shepard asked.

"Negative, Skipper. You have to come home to see it." Shepard frowned at the teasing smirk on Ashley's face. "So how are things going on your end?" She asked.

Shepard groaned. "I really don't want to talk about it. I just wanted to call and hear all the great things Maddy's teacher had to say. And I got to see you looking hot as all hell, so I'm good."

"Mommy, are you talking to daddy?" Maddy said from out of sight.

"Yes I am. Got a few minutes to talk to Maddy, Skipper?" Ashley asked.

Shepard smiled. "Of course."


	7. I'm Tired of Fighting

Shepard and Ashley exchanged nervous glances as they approached the vice principal's office. They had been told nothing except that their daughter had gotten into trouble, and was facing serious disciplinary action. Shepard had asked continuously over the phone about what had happened, but the only thing the vice principal would tell him was that he needed to come down to his office to discuss the incident. So there both parents were, dressed in their Alliance uniforms, no idea what to think. Ashley took a deep breath, nodded at Shepard, and he opened the door.

Maddy was sitting in a chair near the wall, head down and dark brown hair covering her face so neither of her parents could see her. Shepard did not look her way a second time, sitting in one of the two empty chairs in front of him. Ashley's gaze never left their daughter. The vice principal was a young guy, no older than his mid thirties if Shepard had to guess, very thin. He greeted them cordially, standing and shaking both parents' hands before retaking his seat. "Thank you for coming," he said, his voice gratingly high pitched. "I'm sorry I had to call you in today. Madeline got in a fight today with a boy in her class. Not that fights between children are uncommon, but the boy received a bloody nose and a black eye."

Shepard looked over at Maddy, stunned. She had never shown any violent tendencies before. What could have pushed her to do hurt someone else? "What started the fight?" Ashley asked.

"That's why I decided to call both of you before I handed down a punishment. Madeline will not tell me, and the boy is claiming she attacked him for no reason. I know that's not true, and I'm hoping your daughter will tell you why she and this boy fought."

Shepard stood and walked over to Maddy. When he placed a hand on her shoulder she only tried hard to hide her face. "Can we have a moment alone with her?" The vice principal nodded, and left the office. Ashley joined Shepard over near Maddy, who let out a lone sniffle. "If you don't say anything you will get in serious trouble," Ashley said sternly. "What did this boy say to you?"

Maddy stayed silent. Shepard could see the anger building in Ashley's eyes, and even though he knew it was not because of their daughter, that was who it would end up directed towards. "Maddy, we will have no choice but to believe that you did this for no reason if you don't tell us the truth. This is serious. Please tell us."

"I don't want to. It just makes me sad," she said quietly. "He was so mean to me."

"Tell us, Maddy," Ashley said angrily. "Tell us now what this boy said." When Maddy shook her head again, Ashley forced her head up. Maddy's eyes were red from crying, and her lip was quivering. "Maddy, tell us what he said."

"Ash, calm down," Shepard said, placing a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Look at her. I'll tell you what, Maddy, we'll take you home for the day, and make sure your vice principal doesn't make a decision on what to do until tomorrow. You'll have all night to decided whether to tell us what happened or not. If you still haven't told us by then, we can't help you. Okay?" Maddy nodded, and Shepard left to tell the vice principal the situation.

* * *

After a very silent dinner, where Shepard had sat nervously at the dinner table watching his depressed daughter and angry wife eat in silence, Maddy retreated back to her room. She had rarely left since the moment she got home. Ashley angrily threw her dish in the sink, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. "I'm going to force her to tell me if she doesn't say anything by the morning," she hissed. "I am not letting my daughter get in trouble for hitting some kid that probably started it. Why won't she say anything? I'm going to find out who this boy is and talk to his parents."

"Ash, calm down."

"No, John! I want to know what happened!" Ashley's face was turning completely red now, and her hands were balled into fists. "That's it, I'm going to ask her again."

Shepard grabbed Ash's arm and held tight when she tried to yank it from his grasp. "Ash, you're scaring the hell out of her, stop it! I completely agree with you, I am not letting Maddy get in serious trouble if this was not her fault. But scaring her into telling us isn't going to work. We'll politely ask her again before her bedtime, if she hasn't told us by then. Whatever is bothering her, it's serious and we need to give her time to herself. It's always worked for her before, she'll decided when she's ready to tell us."

"And if she hasn't by tomorrow?" Ashley asked, slightly calmer but still fuming.

"Then we take her to school and let her face her punishment. Maybe that will scare her into saying something."

* * *

The next morning, much to Shepard's surprise, Maddy had still refused to talk. With nothing else to do, he and Ashley brought her to school to face her punishment. The vice principal agreed to meet them early in the morning, fifteen minutes before classes started. When the three of them walked into his office, a boy Maddy's age was there as well, with a woman that was presumably his mother. She was older than either Shepard or Ashley by at least a decade, and had one hand on her son's hand. When she heard the door open, she turned towards them, giving the coldest, meanest glare she could. Maddy completely avoided looking at the boy or his mother.

"Well, has Madeline given her account of what happened?" the vice principal asked.

Shepard did not miss the way the other boy tensed and looked Maddy's way. "No. I guess she's decided to accept her punishment." A brief, blink and you miss it smirk passed over the other boy's face. Shepard had to hold back the urge to yell.

The vice principal nodded. "I see. I'm sorry Madeline, but I'm forced to suspend you for two days. You will need to see your teachers and find out what lessons you will miss, and what homework you must complete. Are you sure you have nothing to say?"

Ashley could take no more. Shepard grabbed her arm gently as she stood, but she yanked it away. "You cannot possibly suspend her when something is clearly being withheld about what happened. One party is lying, and the other isn't talking. How can you punish my daughter and only my daughter for that!?"

"Because your daughter is a cruel, angry little girl," the boy's mother said. "It figures, being the daughter of two soldiers. She probably learned such behavior from you and thinks violence is okay."

Ashley turned to stare, and for a brief moment the boy's mother cowered. "Maddy, tell us what happened, now. I don't care if it's your fault, I need to know what this boy said to make you punch him."

Maddy began sniffling, staring at the ground. "I do not want to suspend her," the vice principal said. "I have no choice if she does not say anything. Lucas has given his side of the story, and if she isn't arguing it then I have no choice but to believe it."

"Maddy, tell us, now!" Ashley said as forcefully as she could manage.

"Maddy, please, say something," Shepard pleaded, rubbing his daughter's back.

"I got a C on a test and he said I was stupid. He said I don't deserve to have you two as parents, that you would be ashamed and hate me when you saw my test. When I told him to shut up, he pushed me and said I can't even defend myself even though my mom and dad were great soldiers." It all came out in one long breath, and when Maddy was done she slinked down in her chair, a few more sniffles the only sound she made.

Ashley's smirk was venomous as she turned her gaze towards the boy's mother. Shepard could not help the anger he felt either. "Is this true, Lucas?" the vice principal asked.

"I never pushed her!" the boy said. "She's lying about me pushing her!"

Shepard and Ashley both shook their heads. "Now that we know what really happened, let's decide on what the punishment should actually be," Ashley said.

"How do you know your daughter isn't lying," Lucas's mother interrupted. "You were so certain my boy was lying, I'm sure she is, too."

"We know our daughter isn't lying because we know our daughter," Shepard said. Lucas's mother stared in outrage, mouth agape.

"Madeline will still be suspended for a day," the vice principal said before the parents could recreate the fight their children had already participated in. "No matter the reason, violence cannot be tolerated. Lucas, you will have in school suspension tomorrow, and if I hear that you said such things to Madeline again I will seriously consider suspending you as well. Do both of you understand?" Both kids nodded. "Okay. Lucas, get to class. Madeline, you are suspended for the day, and I suggest you take the day to think over what you did wrong."

The car ride home was far less tense on Ashley and Shepard's part than the car ride to school had been, but Maddy was even more depressed. She was back to refusing to talk, and stared out the window. When they arrived home, she immediately made for her room, but Shepard called out to her, telling Maddy to take a seat on the couch. The two parents watched as their daughter reluctantly did as told, and joined her, sitting to either side of her. "Were you not telling us about what he said because you think that boy might be right?" Shepard asked.

Maddy's silence and body language said it all. Ashley hugged her daughter tight, furious not just with that boy but also with herself, that she had not made it clear how much she loved Maddy to the point that Maddy would never believe something like that boy told her. "Don't you ever doubt how much we love you, Maddy. Don't ever doubt it. The only disappointment I've ever felt about you is that I have not made that clear already."

"Maddy, why would you think that we are disappointed in you, or would hate you because of a C grade on a test?"

"Whenever I get a good grade on a test, my teachers say how the daughter of Commander Shepard would be so smart. I won a race during P.E., and a kid told me that it wasn't fair because of who my parents are. No one even knows my name, they call me Commander Shepard's daughter. I just want to be myself, but if I am I may not be good enough."

Ashley stood and began pacing. "This isn't right, John. We need to go talk to all of her teachers. Christ, Maddy, you are 8 years old, and adults are talking to you like this? This is outrageous!"

"What if I don't want to be a soldier, mommy? What if I don't be what you want me to be? Would you and daddy be disappointed?"

"Absolutely not, sweetheart," Shepard assured, with all the conviction he used to talk down politicians and inspire his troops. "You be whatever you want, as long as you are living a good life and you are happy. If anyone has a problem with that, ignore them. We will be talking to your teachers tomorrow and telling them to stop saying such things to you."

A small twist of the mouth upward told Maddy's parents that she was beginning to feel better. "You mean it? You are proud of me, and will be proud of me even if I get some bad grades sometimes or be what you and daddy were?"

"To hell with anyone that tells you otherwise, Maddy," Ashley said, causing the little girl to giggle at her mother's bad language. "You just keep being you. Your dad and I would have to be the worst parents in the world to not be happy with you."

Maddy smiled widely, all the depression in her face gone. "Thank you, mommy, thank you daddy," she said, stretching her arms wide to hug both at the same time. "I'll apologize to Lucas when I go back to school tomorrow. I shouldn't have hit him."

"That's my girl," Ashley said. Maddy left for her room again, but this time with a skip in her step. When she was gone, Ashley turned to Shepard and said, "I wish I could tell her not to apologize. That little brat deserved to be punched. Not sure who she learned that it is wrong from."

Shepard chuckled lowly, pulling Ashley onto his lap. "Our little girl is pretty great. We have to watch her a little more from now on though. That stubborn, fiery streak is starting to show itself."

* * *

"Thanks for coming, Shepard," Hackett said. "You too, Ashley." Despite a lifetime of almost never using the first names of anyone that was a fellow Alliance soldier, the Admiral had been forced to adjust and do so with the Ashley and Shepard. Besides having the same last name, they were also the same rank now, so he couldn't separate them that way either.

"Of course, sir," both Shepards said.

"I do not know if you have heard, but this year Councilor Xavier will be resigning from his position due to health reasons," Hackett began. Shepard had heard the rumors of Xavier's declining health over the past few months, but was not sure of their truth. "There are multiple candidates that the Alliance government have in mind, but one in particular that has the most support. I'm sure you can guess who that is."

Ashley stood up, defiance in her glare. "Absolutely not." She turned her fiery glare towards Shepard. "Skipper, you know he's about to offer the job to you, and you can't do it."

"Commander, the Alliance is trying their best to leave him no choice," Hackett said. "They are considering using the press to pressure Shepard into taking the position, and if he does not will likely give him an honorable discharge from service. Basically, if he does not become the new human representative on the Council, he is going to have to retire."

Shepard felt the blood that heated his neck and face in anger, but it was Ashley again that spoke. "That is bullshit, sir!" she shouted. "John's given you everything, given the Alliance everything! How can they even think about doing something like that?"

Shepard grabbed his wife's arm gently, giving her a look that asked her to calm down. Even two or three years ago that look would not have worked, but Ashley took a deep breath and sat down. Her breathing was heavy, loud, furious. Her eyes were smoldering. "They would really try to force me out?" Shepard asked. "Have I lost all my influence and respect so quickly?"

"It has been nearly a decade since we defeated the Reapers, Shepard. Politicians have short memories, and they are only grateful for as long as it is politically useful." Hacket leaned back. "It is bullshit, I can't disagree. But it's reality. If you have no interest in the position, you can fight it when they try to force you out. You'll have my backing, along with most the soldiers who do the Alliance's fighting. I can't guarantee we will be successful, but if you want to fight, you will not be alone. My ship will be docked here until tomorrow evening, you have until then to think this over."

Both Shepards stood and saluted, walking out silently.

* * *

Ashley shook with rage the entire ride home, Shepard merely had the same thoughtful, betrayed expression that had come on his face when Hackett first told him the Alliance government's plan. Not even the sight of their daughter running around the front yard of their home with her Aunt Lynn, and Lynn's son and daughter. Nicholas and Trudy were Maddy's best friends, as Lynn lived a block away, and brought her children over often. Despite the unhappy feelings dominating their moods, both Ashley and Shepard forced smiles as they exited the car and Lynn walked over to welcome them home.

"You can't do it, John," Ashley said later that night, when they finally decided to discuss what Hackett had told them. "If we have to fight, we have to fight. They won't get away with this."

"Ash, I'm sick of fighting." Shepard buried his head in his hands. "I don't want to fight anymore. Damn it, I've given them everything a man could reasonably give, and its still not enough. I cannot believe this is happening."

"If your choices are fighting or taking the Council position, then you are fighting," Ashley insisted. "What else are you going to do? Don't tell me you are actually considering becoming a Councilor?"

Shepard looked up at his wife, and grabbed her hand so he could pull her to sit on the bed with him. "I'm thinking of just retiring. I've done enough for a lifetime, and I'm done being a soldier. I just want to be a father and husband."

Ashley cupped his face with both hands, studying him. "John, you better be sure about this. I can't imagine you giving up and letting them win."

"I'm not. They want me to be a Councilor. They think I care more about being out in the galaxy making a difference than I do about my family. Screw them all. Little do they know, Wrex will still refuse to talk to any of them. The quarians and geth will still want my input. You will still be getting ideas from me to tell others. They can force me out, but they will never make everyone that cares about me forget who I am."

Ashley squeezed Shepard's hand, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "If you are really ready to do this, I will support you all the way. But do me a favor and sleep on it. If you still feel this way tomorrow, then no complaints here. Okay?"

Shepard nodded, and the two shared a kiss. "Time for dinner. I'm sure Maddy is hungry. I won't have time to grill, how about ordering out?"

* * *

Hackett was stunned by what Shepard had just said, much as he tried to hide it. "Shepard, this is what they want. If you go down without a fight, they will win."

Shepard smiled faintly. "They can believe they won all they want. I know I have won. I won nine years ago after the Crucible fired. I won when Ashley married me. I won when my daughter Madeline was born. I'm done fighting, Admiral. I'm just done."

Hackett opened his mouth, but for the first time, Shepard saw the Admiral rendered speechless. "You are a great, great soldier John. The best I ever had the privilege of seeing. If this is really your choice, then I will respect it." Hackett stood, and offered his hand. "It's been one of the great honors of my life to have served as your commanding officer, Shepard."

Shepard grasped the Admiral's hand, and the two exchanged a firm, respectful handshake. "The honor was mine, Admiral."


	8. Nightmares

A beautiful day greeted Shepard when he stepped outside. The sun shone brightly in a clear blue sky, the dry grasslands and high ridges in the distance a brilliant orange and yellow. It hadn't taken very long for the former Alliance soldier to grow an appreciation for Rannoch rivaling that of his hosts. Maddy had also been loving the quarian homeworld, spending every moment she was allowed out in the desert landscape, always in the company of either Tali or Shepard. Tali's two son and daughter were always with Maddy as well. A light wind was blowing, keeping the early morning cool and providing a beautiful shimmering effect as the tops of the high grass in the plains nearby bent beneath the gust. The front door opened behind Shepard, but he did not turn around. The hand that patted his shoulder told him it was Tali. "Good morning Shepard. I can't believe you're still unable to sleep late. Retirement is supposed to eliminate whatever worries kept you from sleeping."

Shepard laughed. "Retirement for me hasn't been the same thing as retirement for others. You should know that better than anyone that doesn't live with me."

"True. It still sucks to see that same look on your face you always had when were on the Normandy. If anyone deserves some peace, it is you."

Tali's concerned expression met Shepard when he turned to look at her. It had been three or four years now since Tali had begun removing her mask in the company of her friends, but it still took Shepard a moment to remember she could do so without repercussions. She was a strikingly beautiful woman, Shepard couldn't deny that. It had taken everyone by surprise the first time she had stood before them without her visor and helmet, a month after her daughter, Zaeli had been born. Now, it was normal. Since she had just woken up, she was still wearing a robe over her pajamas, but once the day started she usually wore her suit, just without the mask whenever possible.

Shepard took a sip from the cup of coffee in his hand. He had to bring his own, since he couldn't eat or drink anything Tali or her family did, and the coffee in particular was completely inferior to the stuff Ashley bought. Still, he stomached it. "Meh, you'll see when you retire one day, Tali. It's not easy to just stop the habits you spend decades practicing. It doesn't mean I'm not at peace, I'm just fine, thank you."

"Yeah, yeah, you're perfect. I hear it enough from Ashley when she messages or calls me. I've had to hear it from Maddy the past two days too. How does she not hate you now that you spend so much time with her? When I started spending more time with Zaeli and Narol, they hated it."

"They'll get over it," Shepard said. "Maddy was like that when she was seven, and again when she was nine. It was only a month or two ago, after her tenth birthday, that she stopped acting that way towards me again."

"We'll see. Maybe I'm just not as good a parent as you," Tali said. She said it like a joke, but Shepard knew that Tali was constantly worrying about what type of mother she was to her kids. She shouldn't, but she did, no matter what anyone told her.

"Yeah, yeah, you're so terrible. That's why your family worships the ground you walk on," Shepard said, making Tali laugh. "Hell, Maddy worships the ground you walk on, and she's not even yours. She likes you more than she likes her own parents." Tali giggled again, and blushed.

Later that day, the Shepard and Zorah families were again on the hover bikes they used to cross the desert landscape surrounding Tali's home. Shepard drove one, with Maddy and Zaeli buckled in behind him, while Tali's husband Gran drove the other, Tali, now wearing her suit and mask, and her son Narol were buckled in behind him. The landscape today was vastly different from the previous two days, the normal dry soil void of plant life turning greener with every mile. They had come across a river thirty minutes ago, where the children had played in the water while the parents watched. "There's a canyon about five minutes to the west, let's head that way!" Gran shouted, turning his bike. Shepard followed, the excited chatter of the girls sitting behind him too low to make out, but bringing a smile to his face anyway.

The canyon stretched far for miles upon miles, out of sight in both directions. Shepard stared wide eyed, while Tali hurried after the three children, who had run off because Maddy wanted to see if she could see where the canyon ended. "Gorgeous, isn't it?" Gran said, standing beside Shepard.

"It really is. There's a similar place to this on Earth, I remember seeing it once. It was probably half the size of this though."

The two men stood in silence, and when Shepard turned his head to his right he noticed Gran looking over to where Tali was pointing something out to the children, their attention belonging completely to her. "Can I ask you something, Shepard?" Gran asked.

"Yeah, of course."

"Did you ever stop having nightmares about your service?"

Shepard stared curiously at the quarian next to him. "That's kind of personal, pal. Why do you want to know?"

Gran looked over to where Tali was now running from Maddy, Zaeli behind her. Narol was crouched near a bunch of rocks. "Tali has been having terrible nightmares lately. She never gets a good night's sleep, and at least three times a week she wakes up screaming. I've tried to help, but my efforts typically result in me offending her. I was just wondering if you had any suggestions as far as helping her. Maybe you found a way to get over your nightmares and could help her."

For some reason, the thought of Tali having such terrible nightmares came as a surprise. She had always been so cheerful, so optimistic, the thought of her struggling now with what happened years ago didn't seem possible. "I'm sorry, but there's no secret that I know. I still have my nightmares, just less often than I used to. They lessened with time, and with the help of my family."

Gran shuffled his feet. "I tried helping, but she gets angry. She tells me that I wasn't there, that I don't know what it was like. I wasn't, so I cannot tell her she's wrong. Maybe if you talked to her instead of me, it would help? I just want my wife to be okay."

Shepard patted the worried quarian on the back. It had not taken Shepard long to think very highly of Gran, and consider him a friend. Tali had been so reluctant to introduce him, much for the same reason Liara had been, he assumed. Gran fit in with them just fine though, he was funny, he was honest, he was a great father and he absolutely worshipped Tali. There was nothing to complain about, and everyone had told Tali so after they met him. "I'll talk to her tonight, see if I can help."

"Thank you, Shepard," Gran said.

"Don't thank me yet. Even if I can help, you should know after this long that those nightmares will never fully go away. The best you can do is be there for her."

"Gran, Shepard, come over here!" Tali shouted. "You have to see what we found!"

"It's so cool, dad!" Maddy shouted as well. Her saying dad rather than daddy did not go unnoticed to Shepard. That had started a few weeks before her tenth birthday, yet another sign of how quickly she was growing up.

* * *

Ashley bolted up in bed, breathing heavily. Her fingers gripped the sheets until they hurt and her knuckles turned white. She stared at the wall ahead, but she wasn't seeing it. Visions of the charred remains of what had once human beings like herself still danced in front of her. Only after a few minutes passed and the nightmare faded from memory did Ashley begin to calm down. She fell backwards onto the bed, bringing a hand to her forehead. A hand began rubbing her stomach, and she looked over to where Shepard lay. His eyes were still closed, but she could tell by the smile on his face and the way his hand rubbed her stomach that he was awake. That had always helped calm her down, ever since she first became pregnant. Something about the circular motion felt good even through her shirt. "Go back to sleep, Skipper, I'm fine."

"Too late for that," Shepard groaned, opening one eye. "I can't just go back to sleep, jerk." Ashley punched him in the shoulder as hard as she could in her groggy, still recovering state. "That's three nights in a row," Shepard continued. "You going to tell me what's bothering you?"

"I don't have the slightest idea. It's like I have this horrible feeling in my gut telling I'm going to get some bad news, and that feeling is invading my dreams as well."

"That's not good," Shepard said, eyes fully open now. He took a quick peek at the clock on the nightstand, and saw that it was four in the morning. Since he would have to wake up in two hours to wake Maddy up and begin their daily morning routine, he decided not to even try and go back to sleep. "Just a bad dream. Believe me, I have my own." Ashley watched as her husband slowly got out of bed and walked to the bathroom.

Ashley was sitting at her desk at Alliance headquarters on Amaterasu when she received the phone call. She didn't answer any of the others that frantically called after her as she ran out the door. When she arrived at her mother's house, there were five other cars already parked nearby. Her strong, hurtful knocks left her right hand sore, and were answered within two seconds. Sarah and Abby both stood there, eyes red and faces streaked with tears. "Where is she?" Ashley said, determined to stay composed.

"In the bedroom," Abby said, voice raw andchoked with emotion, making it clear she had made herself stop crying recently. She lost that battle as soon as she spoke, both her and Sarah beginning to sob again.

Ashley ran to her mother's bedroom, and she froze in place the moment she opened the door and saw the bed. The normally blue sheets were stained red. Laying there, a pale specter of her mother tried her best to breathe. They came out raspy, forced, the types of breaths Ashley had heard many times from a soldier laying on a battlefield. The tears came, and Ashley did not try to stop them. She forced herself to walk forward. The location of the wounds were evident by the blood seeping through her mother's abdomen and legs. Closing her eyes and steeling herself, Ashley lifted her mother's shirt, and had to force herself not to turn and vomit. Blood was still seeping through the bandages placed over her stomach. The stench was overwhelming, a stench Ashley recognized as well as she did the look in her mother's eyes. She knew there was little to be done. It would be a miracle if her mother survived until the paramedics arrived. A hand weakly reached in her direction, and Ashley took it, crying heavily, her sobs easily heard throughout the house, her tears stinging every inch of skin they touched.

She was staring at the floor in her mother's room, eyes seeing nothing, tears still rolling weakly down her face and falling to the carpet, when Shepard arrived. Ashley had called him five minutes after she got to her mother's house, and the paramedics had arrived five minutes after that. They had tried to stabilize her before the move, but it was too late. The Williams' sisters had all heard the head paramedic tell them their mother was dead at the same time, gathered in the living room where they had all sat with their parents and opened Christmas presents, played games, had fights after late nights. Sarah shrieked in horror. Abby and Lynn held each other as they sobbed. Ashley had already had her reaction. She knew what the paramedics would say.

Shepard placed a tentative, sympathetic arm around her, and Ashley leaned into him, letting him know she craved the comfort at that moment. He proceeded to place his other arm around her, embracing her tightly. Somehow, Ashley didn't being crying again. "What happened to her?" Shepard asked, keeping his voice low, gentle.

"She was walking around with Sarah in the woods a half mile from our house," Ashley began, voice shockingly devoid of emotion. "It's always been a hobby, we all know those woods like the back of our hands. They had split up to go down separate trails, and Sarah said she heard a scream. When she found mom, she saw a wolf limping away and mom badly hurt." Ashley snuggled closer to Shepard, wrapping her own arms around her husband. "She died twenty minutes later, in her bed."

Shepard rested his head on Ashley's head, unsure of how to make his wife feel better. "I'm sorry, Ash. I really don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, John. I just need you to hold me. Please." They stayed that way for an unknown time, Ashley continuing to stare down at the carpet. The carpet had never changed, from her earliest memories to now, the same dark red that she had always found so ugly. She had first crawled on that carpet, while her mother watched. She had taken her first steps with her parents' encouragement. She had tried to sneak in late, only to be given away since the carpet did little to muffle footsteps. Ashley found herself wondering what would happen to the house now. Maybe one of her sisters would buy it. That was doubtful. It was more likely none of them would be able to set foot in their parents' house again without the horrible memories coming to mind immediately. Ashley had watched her father and mother now die in this damned house. She wanted to burn it to the ground herself.

When Ashley finally separated herself from Shepard's embrace, she closed her eyes and swallowed hard, trying to make herself presentable. "Did you bring Maddy with you?" she asked. Shepard nodded. "Where is she?"

"I left her with Sarah. She volunteered, and seemed to have herself together enough not to scare Maddy."

"Can you go get her for me, and let me talk to her alone?" Ashley asked. Shepard nodded and left the room. Ashley thought hard about what exactly she should say, thinking over what Sarah might have already said. When the knock on the door came, and she saw the sad expression on her daughter's face, a gentle smile somehow came to Ashley's face. Shepard whispered something in Maddy's ear, and closed the bedroom door as he left. "Come here, Maddy."

The frightened little girl sat timidly next to Ashley, folding her hands in front of her and wringing her hands, a habit she had learned from Tali recently. "Is Grandma really gone?" she asked.

"Yes," Ashley said, placing one hand on both of her daughter's to calm them. "Grandma had an accident, and she is in heaven now." Maddy began sniffling and her small body shook with sobs. A few strands of dark hair fell over one of her eyes, which Ashley promptly moved behind her ear. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Sometimes life can be unfair. Grandma lived a long, full, happy life, and she's in a better place now. I know it hurts right now, but you will always have your happy memories with her."

Maddy was crying loudly, harshly, her entire body shaking. "I miss her. I want to see her again." she choked out.

Ashley was crying again too, though more controlled than her daughter. "I want to see her too. Come here, Maddy," Ashley said, wrapping her arms around Maddy and holding her close. Her daughter's tears were wetting her shirt, but Ashley didn't care. Right now the only thing that would make her and Maddy feel better was knowing they were there for each other.

* * *

The shriek woke Shepard up immediately, and he recognized it as coming from Maddy's room just as quickly. "Mommy! Daddy!" she yelled, the sound of her small feet running down the hall audible in the silence of night. Shepard sprung out of bed, Ashley right behind him, both taking a moment to put on some clothes before leaving their room.

Maddy was outside their door when Shepard opened it, and immediately clung to her father, both arms wrapped around his waist. He put one arm around her shoulders, while the other gently stroked his daughter's hair. Ashley stood nearby, concern etched into every muscle in her face. "What's wrong, Maddy?"

"I had a bad dream," she murmured, tightening her grip slightly. "I was home by myself, and two scary men in Alliance uniforms knocked on the door. Even though I'm not supposed to answer the door, I did. They asked me if I was Madeline Shepard, and when I told them I was they came in and told me you and mommy had died. I woke up right after, I thought it was real. I thought I was all alone."

Ashley moved closer, putting one arm around Maddy and the other around Shepard. In return, the former Spectre moving one of his arms to put it around Ashley. "Maddy, sweetheart, it was just a dream. We are both still here." The nightmare was no surprise. Maddy had taken her grandmother's death hard, as expected. She had never had to experience the death of anyone she knew, let alone someone so close to her and so loved as her grandmother had been. The only surprise in Maddy having a nightmare is that it had happened three weeks after her grandmother had died.

"What if that happens for real?" Maddy asked. "What if you both did die one day?"

"Maddy, that won't happen," Shepard said, voice resolute. "I would never make a promise like this if I could not keep it, but I promise that you will never lose us."

"Never, Maddy," Ashley said, one of her hands replacing Shepard's in stroking their daughter's hair.

"You promise?" Maddy asked. "Both of you promise, you'll never leave me alone?"

"Not until you are an old lady yourself, with your own family, and it's our time to join Grandma in heaven," Ashley said. "That is a promise, Maddy."

"You promise too, Dad?" Maddy said, regaining her composure.

Shepard nodded. "I definitely promise." He placed a kiss on Maddy's forehead. "Do you want to sleep in our bed tonight?"

Maddy shook her head and backed away. "No, that's okay. I can sleep on my own. I feel better now. I love you both." With that she bounded off back towards her room.

Ashley smiled. "Just for a moment there, she was our little girl again, Skipper."

"She always will be," Shepard said, with a grin of his own. "Even when she's the old lady with her own kids."

* * *

**This ended up being a lot more depressing than I intended. I hope the ending cheered it up a little. Reviews of all kinds are welcome.**


	9. She's Growing Up Too Fast

**I had some of this done at the same time I was writing the previous chapter, and figured I'd go ahead and put it out since the last chapter was so depressing. Don't worry, I probably won't do that again and I certainly have no plans to take this anywhere dark. Here's something positive for those that didn't like the dark though. :)**

* * *

The look on Maddy's face was intense, unrelenting. She simply would not accept any of her father's answers. Shepard smirked at the stubbornness she was showing, like dealing with a smaller, only slightly less dangerous version of Ashley. "Dad, tell me what the surprise is!" Maddy continued to plead. When Shepard did not look her way, the girl turned her attention to her mother. "Mom, tell me!" Ashley looked down at her daughter, and simply scoffed, as she always did when Maddy tried to demand anything from her.

The Shepard family stood out like a sore thumb amongst the turians that called Palaven home, but the only stares Shepard received were from those who recognized him and whispered excitedly. The attention came normal to him these days. Ashley still seemed uncomfortable by the stares, but her own tolerance for their celebrity status had improved greatly as well. Besides, this was a happy trip, and it would take a lot more than excited gossipers and tabloid journalists to ruin their mood. They walked out of the docking bay, luggage in hand, and found a bench to sit on while they waited for their ride, Maddy continuing to hound both her parents about what her surprise would be.

They were not there long before a familiar friend cleared his throat. Garrus was looking as good as ever, maybe a little softer around the edges than he used to. He was dressed in stylish dress clothes, as he usually was these days. Shepard stood immediately, giving his long time friend a hug. Ashley did the same, but Maddy stayed on the bench, giving her best angry stare. "Garrus, tell me what my surprise is!" she demanded.

Ashley stared harshly at her daughter. "Madeline Shepard, you were not raised to be that disrespectful," she rasped, making Maddy cringe just slightly. Maddy stood from the bench and gave Garrus a hug. "I'm sorry, Garrus, I'm happy to see you. I'm just so excited and no one will tell me what the surprise is."

Garrus chuckled. "No more Uncle Garrus, huh? I'm hurt."

Maddy looked at the turian, confused. "You always told me not to call you Uncle Garrus. Everyone except Aunt Tali always said that."

"Well yeah, I doubt Liara wants you to call her uncle Liara," Garrus joked. "I'm just surprised you didn't call me Uncle Garrus. I guess you really are growing up. I was skeptical when your mom and dad told me what they wanted to surprise you with, but I guess you are ready for… Oops, I almost spoiled it."

Maddy was glaring at the turian now, genuinely angry now. "We better get out of here before she punches one of us," Shepard said, half joking. Garrus led the way to his car, navigating through the always hectic traffic soaring through Palaven with practiced ease.

After dinner, Garrus led the way down the stairs of his home and through two different sets of double doors, into a pitch black room. "This is a freaking mansion, Garrus," Ashley complimented.

"There are definitely perks to being an important government figure that also happens to be a war hero responsible for stopping the Reapers," Garrus bragged.

"I could have sworn the two of us helped," Ashley fired back.

"Oh, of course. I don't know what I would have done if you two hadn't been there to miss shots and distract all those husks and geth we fought." Shepard laughed at the exchange, remembering in a matter of seconds why Garrus had always been one of his best friends, since the first conversation they had with each other aboard the first Normandy. "Alright, Shepards, take a good look and cry tears of jealousy," Garrus said, turning on the lights and revealing the massive, state of the art gun range beneath his house. There were five different booths, each with a stand on the wall holding a pair of earmuffs and ten separate thermal clips. The wall to the left of the entrance was completely covered by the largest weapon display case Shepard or Ashley had ever seen, weapons ranging from sniper rifles and light machine guns to pistols, as well as melee weapons such as knives and swords all contained within and protected by five separate doors made of bulletproof glass. Garrus crossed his arms, letting his hosts take in the sight. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Very," Shepard said, incredulous at just how many guns he was seeing. There had to be at least forty or fifty. Turning his attention to the ranges themselves, he saw the high tech plastic targets already set up, on ranges that stretched for somewhere around 60 to 70 meters. "How the hell did you manage to get something like this built beneath your house?" he asked.

"I had it built before the house," Garrus said. "That was my top priority when it was built. Since the house that stood here before was destroyed by the Reapers, it wasn't that big a deal. The length of the range proved a little bit of a problem, but we figured it out quickly."

"It's something else, pal." Shepard watched as Ashley led Maddy over to the gun case. "So which one is hers?" he said, loud enough that Maddy would turn around and pay attention.

Garrus smirked, walking over to a group of pistols and unlocking the glass door. He pulled out a M3 Predator, that Shepard immediately recognized as a version designed to fire non lethal rounds. After receiving a confirming nod from Ashley, Garrus held the pistol towards Maddy, who stared at it and him with uncertainty. "Surprise!" he said.

Maddy still didn't take the pistol, so Ashley took it. "You know how you asked us if we could show you how to shoot?" she said. "Well, you're growing up, and since you had such great grades on your last report card, we decided to let Garrus give you some pointers on the correct and safe ways to operate a gun. Your father and I both expect you to follow every instruction he gives you, to the letter. No arguing, no improvising, do what he shows you and nothing else. Understand?"

Maddy nodded, and finally took the pistol in her hands. "I promise, I'll do everything right, and I'll listen to everything Garrus says."

"That's my girl. Your father and I are going back upstairs, we'll come check on you two later." Ashley kissed Maddy on the top of the head, and the two parents left the gun range.

"Turians are way too obsessed with war," Shepard said, remote control in hand as he flipped through the channels on Garrus's living room television. Everything was war related in some way, from sitcoms to documentaries to cartoons to dramas, there was someone firing a gun in every single one of them.

"Pick something and stay on it, damn it," Ashley said. "Click, click, click, I'm going to take the damn thing from you if you don't choose something and stay there." Shepard shrugged, stopping on a news channel. The anchor was talking about war of course, droning on about the number of ships built recently and something about two manufacturers competing over whose guns would become the official model of the Turian army. "Ugh, change it," Ashley said.

They eventually found an interesting show about the history of Turian architecture, and watched that until it ended an hour later. Garrus had been working with Maddy for about an hour and a half now, so Shepard suggested they go check on how she was doing. Nearly getting lose amongst the myriad hallways, and again when they reached the basement level, they eventually found their bearings and opened the doors to the gun range. Shepard stopped there, jaw dropping, while Ashley stomped forward. "What the hell is she shooting with!?" Ashley yelled.

Maddy froze, while Garrus sheepishly turned his head to look back towards the door. In Maddy's hand was a sniper rifle, a M-97 Viper. Near the end of the range, 65 meters away, brand new burns were evident on the target set up there. "Um, we moved on to something more advanced?" Garrus said. Maddy was burying her head in her arms, though she never let go of the gun. "It's a non lethal model, I promise."

"Garrus, we just asked you to show her how to use a pistol," Shepard said.

"She was good," Garrus said defensively. "In thirty minutes she was on target almost every time. I had her use it for another ten minutes or so, and I thought she was ready for something better, so I gave her a submachine gun…"

"Garrus, what the hell!?" Shepard yelled now.

"I have not had her use a weapon that was lethal, don't worry."

Ashley stormed closer to the uneasy Turian. "Damn it, how many weapons has she practiced with now?"

Maddy had set the sniper rifle down now, and was staring straight ahead, still not showing her face. For a second, Shepard thought he saw her laugh, but without being able to see her face it could have been a sob to the untrained eye. "After the shotgun, I let her fire an assault rifle, but that was too much. We moved onto the sniper rifle about ten minutes ago."

"Christ, Garrus, we asked you to teach her to use a pistol. There is no way she is so capable with a pistol that she was ready to move onto these types of weapons. Even if she was, you should never have done so without asking us first." Garrus wilted beneath Ashley's verbal onslaught. "Maddy's not some turian teenager that will be joining the military soon, why would you have her using weapons like these? What possible reason would she ever have to use a sniper rifle or assault rifle? What the hell were you thinking?"

The room went deathly silent. Shepard was amused as he watched Garrus scratch his head, Ashley staring icily at him. "I, uh, couldn't say no?" the anxious turian finally said. This time Maddy definitely laughed, and Shepard did as well. Ashley shook her head, and couldn't resist the smile that formed on her face. "Sorry," Garrus said.

* * *

Shepard stood in the kitchen, eyes trained like a hawk at the couch. So far the boy appeared innocent enough, but he knew better. He remembered when he was 12 years old, and by that point he had begun noticing girls differently. This was the fourth time now that Maddy's friend had been over at the house, and he could tell by the way Maddy acted that she had a little crush on the boy. So now Shepard was standing in the kitchen, pretending to wash dishes and clean the counter and do whatever he could not appear obvious in how he was watching his daughter and her friend.

When Ashley came through the front door, she greeted the two kids on her couch, gave Maddy a hug, and immediately noticed Shepard watching from the kitchen, where he was slowly and absentmindedly taking dishes from the dishwasher and putting them away. Of course he's stalking them, she thought with a smile. As soon as Shepard noticed her watching, he quickly averted his eyes. His back was turned while he put a large bowl in the cupboard with the others like it when Ashley snuck up behind him. "I don't have to call the police, do I?" she asked, making Shepard jump.

"What are you talking about?"

"Most cops don't like it when someone tells them a grown man is stalking kids. Leave them alone, please."

Shepard looked at Ashley like she was insane. "And let this bastard make a move on my daughter? Not a chance."

Ashley laughed a little too loudly, drawing the attention of Maddy and her friend. "She's 11, and he's 12. You're being paranoid."

"Come on Ash, look at how she looks at him," Shepard said, eyes again drawn to the couch. "Ugh, this cannot be happening already. Please tell me this isn't happening already. I'm not ready for her to date. It isn't long after that before Maddy is lying about her friends, staying out late, doing drugs, and getting pregnant at 15 or 16."

Ashley nearly punched Shepard in the shoulder, but she found his worrying too funny. "Well, there's only one thing to do then." Shepard looked at her curiously. "I'll distract Maddy, you go grab her friend and take him to our room. We'll beat on him until he talks."

"Ash, come on."

"What? We can't let our daughter ruin her life by getting pregnant at 15, and since this boy is the catalyst that will lead to Maddy's life being ruined, we better stop him now." Ashley somehow managed to remain completely serious. "I'm glad you noticed this, I didn't see it coming. Now that we know, we need to handle this now. How should distract Maddy? Ask her to come outside with me? Tell her to go clean her room? And what do we tell her about her friend? She'll be suspicious when she see's he is gone."

"Alright, I get it," Shepard said. "I'll leave them alone. Don't say I didn't warn you, though."

"I'll keep it in mind, Skipper."

* * *

"What are you trying to dress her in?" Ashley said, watching in disapproval as Sarah, Abby, and Lynn held up the clothes they had picked out for Maddy to wear. She was starting middle school this year, and her sisters had insisted that they come with her to pick out her new clothes for the year. "She's still 11, for Christ's sake."

"And she's a beautiful girl, who probably wants to look pretty when she goes to school," Sarah argued. "Tell your mom, Maddy." Maddy didn't say a word, staring at the floor instead. "Okay, you may not be saying so, but we know."

Ashley shook her head, yet another headache assaulting her. Headaches had been bothering her quite a bit lately. Her stomach began to roil, suddenly feeling like she was going to throw up. She asked the cashier where the nearest bathroom was, and bolted inside once it was pointed out. She barely made it to a toilet before she retched. What the hell just happened, she wondered. A couple of officers had been sick recently, maybe she had gotten sick from them. Ashley never threw up unless she was really, really sick. The bathroom door opened, and a few moments later both Abby and Lynn were standing behind her, concerned expressions on their faces. Once Ashley was done vomiting, head still dizzy, the women decided to cut the shopping trip short.

* * *

The moment Ashley walked in the door, Shepard could see that something serious was on her mind, but she told him everything was okay. Shepard began to walk after her when she went to his room, but was interrupted by Maddy walking in with her aunts, all of them carrying bags full of clothes. Lynn forced hers in Shepard's arms, pointing him towards Maddy's room. Women, he thought while following his daughter.

It was not until later that night that Ashley was finally willing to talk. Shepard waited in their room when Ashley went to the bathroom, and was sitting on the bed when she came out. Ashley began to speak, but Shepard shook his head and interrupted her, saying, "Nope, nope, come on, sit down."

For a brief moment, Ashley looked like she was going to leave, and Shepard was ready to chase. He relaxed when she sat down next to him. "I'm pregnant, Skipper. Found out today. I threw up while we were out shopping, remembered feeling the same way before, and had my sisters take me to the hospital."

Her words did not sink in immediately. When they did, Shepard jumped, watching to see if Ashley was joking. It became clear she was not rather quickly. "Why would you not want to tell me that?" he asked, a smile spreading on his face.

"Because it still hasn't sunk in for me. And having another baby is freaking me out a little. And despite Maddy's reaction, I'm worried about what she actually thinks. And…"

"Maddy knows? How did she take it?"

Ashley shrugged. "She was excited, happy, curious, a little grossed out because she knows how babies are made. Still, I wonder if she was just acting that way because she didn't want to upset me." Ashley took a deep breath. "I'm worried about how you are taking it, too."

"What are you joking?" Shepard asked. "I'm ecstatic! That's why I'm wondering why you were so hesitant to say anything." He pulled Ashley close and kissed her passionately. When they separated, Ashley was finally smiling. "Come on, I remember you telling me that anything less than two kids wasn't enough. You should be happy."

A knock on the door interrupted the two of them. They could tell by the type of knock that it was Maddy, and Shepard gave her permission to enter the room. "Did you tell dad yet?" she asked, as if she had not been listening outside their room. Ashley nodded. "Isn't this great, dad?" she asked excitedly, smiling as brightly as either of her parents had ever seen.

"Yes it is," Shepard said, putting one arm around Ashley's shoulders and gently pulling her close. Ashley willingly accepted the embrace. "So I hear you're excited about having a baby brother or sister."

Maddy nodded, smile not lessening at all. "This is so cool! I'll help as much as I can, I promise. I'll watch the baby and feed the baby and keep the baby entertained. I hope it's a girl so I have a sister, do you think it will be a girl?"

"I don't have the slightest idea, Maddy," Ashley said. "We both like the surprise, so we won't be finding out until he or she is born anyway."

Maddy frowned for a moment, but the smile returned quickly. "Brother or sister, I can't wait. I promise, mom, I won't do anything to make you mad before the baby is born, and I'll help every way that I can. This is going to be awesome!" She left the room, bounding back to her room.

Ashley's own smile was wide now, whatever unease she had been feeling gone. "Yeah, I'm pretty happy," she said, kissing Shepard.

* * *

**Shepley spawn part 2. :O I still don't know if it should be a boy or a girl, and I'll probably decide based on reader suggestion. I should probably change the summary, since it won't just be about raising Maddy anymore.**


	10. Births, Blowups, and Boys

**Thank you to everyone who chimed in on whether they wanted the next Shepley kid to be a boy or girl. Hope you like what I decided on. **

* * *

Ashley really, really needed to stand up and move, but nothing could have seemed like a worse idea at the moment. Besides, the couch was too damn comfortable. The plate that had been holding her apple slices was empty, and she nearly yelled out for Shepard to get her more, before remembering that he had gone to pick Maddy up from school. Her hands rubbed over her swollen stomach. She was 7 months into her second pregnancy now, and her stomach was at least half again bigger than it had ever been the first time around. Ashley didn't understand why at all. It wasn't because she exercised less, in fact she had begun exercising more, since she had to work harder normally to stay in the shape she preferred. Over the last three weeks, she had accepted defeat in that battle. It wasn't her diet either, one thing she had been able to do easily was maintain a healthy diet. For some reason, her only cravings when she was pregnant, both with Maddy and now, seemed to involve healthy foods. She loved fruits, vegetables, salads, stuff that she enjoyed but usually only hate because they were healthy, more than any desire to eat it. Despite the exercise and healthy foods, she was huge, and it was driving her crazy. Even more than last time, Ashley just wanted to get this over with.

She decided to get up and at least bring the empty plate to the sink, and had just gotten to her feet when the front door opened, Maddy walking in first with Shepard right behind her. Both were laughing about something, and Ashley immediately suspected it had something to do with her. "You've got to be kidding me," she said. "I literally just managed to get to my feet, and you two walk in." She shook her head in frustration, angrily brushing a few stray strands of hair away from her eye.

"I'm sorry, Ash," Shepard apologized, hurrying to Ashley's side and grabbing her arm. Maddy walked over as well, paying attention but keeping her distance. Much to both her parents' surprise, Maddy had been completely serious in her promise to help out as much as she could, and had shown dedication. Shepard's job keeping Ashley happy had been much easier because of their daughter, who always seemed to be hovering around when she was home, ready to help any way she could. "Why don't you sit down, I'll get you whatever you want."

Ashley shrugged Shepard's hands away. "Screw that, I'm already up." Waddling over to the kitchen, she placed her plate in the sink, but dared not lean forward to rinse it. That would only be an easy invitation for mocking. Two weeks ago she had leaned forward to spit out toothpaste after brushing her teeth, and had not been able to stand up straight again by herself. "Maddy, would you please rinse those dishes and put them in the dishwasher?" Her daughter said nothing, hurrying over to the sink and doing as she was told. "There's no way we get that lucky again," Ashley whispered to Shepard as he helped her back over to the couch.

Shepard chuckled, flashing an attractive smile that made Ashley think of sex way too quickly. "No chance at all, Ash. Maybe a small chance if it's a boy, I guess." He continued flashing the smile in her direction, and Ashley felt her cheeks begin to redden. "What do you think, boy or girl?"

"Krogan," Ashley answered, her voice not the least bit humorous. Shepard's laugh roared throughout the house.

* * *

"I am officially a believer in finding what I am giving birth to beforehand," Ashley joked. The birth had been hard, far harder than last time. A day later, Ashley still felt as if she had just finished. Still, there was no denying the smile on her face, and the look on Shepard's told her he was extremely happy as well. He was cradling Anna Shepard in his arms as he sat next in a chair next to Ashley's hospital bed, making faces at the newborn baby, every bit as genuinely happy and overwhelmed as he had been the first time he held Maddy. Ashley was distracted by bundle laying against her chest, as Jennifer Shepard woke from her sleep, her hands grasping at her mother's hospital gown.

Twins, she still couldn't believe it. It explained why she had gotten so much bigger this time around. It explained why the pregnancy had been so much more difficult. It also had her scared to death. Ashley's worries had finally faded towards the end of her 8th month pregnant, but this changed everything. Twins? How did this happen? That's a rhetorical question, obviously, she knew exactly how it happened. Anna and Jennifer were completely identical, the same face, the same eyes, the same everything. Ashley was already worried about telling them apart. She wondered if she was actually holding Jennifer, or if Shepard had Jennifer. Maybe they should write their names on their foreheads or something, put some identifying mark on them. Ashley shook her head clear. No point in freaking out right now.

A small part of Ashley felt guilty that she had given birth to two girls, rather than two boys or at least one boy. Shepard did not appear to care, but she worried that it eventually would, what man didn't want a son? What if Ashley never got pregnant again, and Shepard's only children were three daughters? She looked over at her husband again, watching him make faces at Anna. That was all it took to make her worries feel petty and ridiculous. There was no disappointment whatsoever to be seen in his eyes or his expression.

A knock on the door brought both of their attentions to the entrance to the room, where three women and a young girl squealed their hellos, spreading out to see the newborn girls for the first time. Shepard said that when he told Ashley's sisters she had given birth to twin girls, they had practically assaulted him with hugs and kisses. Maddy had jumped up and down, screaming her delight. She wouldn't be so happy when two babies were waking her up every night with their crying, Ashley knew. Sarah and Abby hovered over Shepard and Anna, while Lynn and Maddy came over to Ashley. "They look exactly the same!" Maddy said. "How are we going to tell them apart?"

"Tattoos," Lynn joked. Ashley glared at her, and she backed away just a little. "It was just a joke, calm down."

"Knowing you, I could ask you to babysit and come home to find their names written in marker on their foreheads."

Lynn put her hands on her waist. "Someone's got a bad attitude. I think Ashley is mad that as hard as she tried to be like dad, she ended up more like mom than any of us."

Sarah laughed. "That is so true. We all saw it before, but now? No question."

"What are you talking about?" Ashley asked, confused.

Abby shook her head. "Of course you don't see it. Come on, Ash, you've always run your house the same way mom did, you handle Shepard the same way mom did dad, and now you have three daughters and no sons? I don't think you could be more like mom if you tried."

Ashley opened her mouth to protest, but could not think of anything to tell her sisters they were wrong. "Oh my God, you're right," she admitted, horrified. Well, not horrified. Actually, she considered it a compliment, she just couldn't figure out when that had happened. "I don't know how that happened."

"Have you named them yet?" Maddy blurted out.

"Mhm. Your dad is holding Anna Jane Shepard, and this little cutie here is Jennifer Hannah Shepard."

Maddy stared at the ground and twisted her mouth in thought. "I like it. Anna and Jennifer. These are my twin sisters, Anna and Jennifer. Yeah, I like them."

Shepard laughed heartily. "I'm glad you approve, that was our main goal when naming them," he joked.

Later that night, both baby girls were asleep in the crib near Ashley's bed, yet their mother found herself entirely unable to go to sleep. She was restless, stir crazy, she wanted to jump out of the bed and get out of the freaking room. Even if it was only five minutes, if it was only one minute, it would be better than laying there like she had for two days now. She turned her gaze over at Shepard, who was asleep in his chair, one hand resting on the side of the twins' crib. "Skipper," she whispered, trying to be loud enough to wake him but quiet enough to not wake the babies. "Skipper," she whispered slightly louder.

"Hmm?" Shepard groaned, stretching in his chair and opening his eyes. "What's wrong, can't sleep?"

"All I've done is sleep for more than a day now. I'm ready to get out of here."

Shepard stretched his arm towards the bed, and Ashley grabbed his hand. "Doctors said they are kicking us out tomorrow. You'll miss the sleep in a week or two."

"Bullcrap, Skipper. I'm staying bed and making you do all the work. You're the one that put twins in my stomach. We could make Maddy do it, though that would ruin her excitement over having baby sisters too quickly." Shepard laughed, and Ashley squeezed his hand. "I need to ask you something, John."

Shepard sat up in his chair. Anytime Ashley used his first name, that meant she needed to say something serious. "Go ahead." The retired Spectre prepared himself for just about anything his wife could ask.

Ashley took a deep breath and sighed. "Does it bother you that we have three daughters and no son?"

"No, why?"

Ashley gave him a disbelieving look. "Come on, Skipper, not even a little?"

"Not at all," Shepard said. "I might have cared more about whether I was having sons or daughters at some point in my life, but right now? Whatever. There's nothing I can't teach our girls that I would have taught a boy."

"It's still different, John. I know that if we had all boys, I would have liked to have a daughter. It would have been on my mind sometimes. It's okay, I won't be mad if you tell me you wish we had a son."

Shepard grinned, and moved his chair close so he could kiss Ashley and hold her hand with both of his. "Ash, there was a point in my life where having a kid was nothing more than a dream, a fantasy that might never come true. As confident as I acted on the Normandy, I knew there was a good chance I would end up dead. I was ready to give it all if it meant stopping the Reapers. Hell, you know that, it's a big reason why we had that night before Ilos, because we didn't know if we would ever get the chance again."

Ashley nodded, remembering how nervous she had felt, standing outside the door to Shepard's quarters. Her mind had been dominated by negative thoughts, how she was a traitor to the Alliance for supporting Shepard stealing the Normandy, how she was breaking regulations with what she was about to do. She wondered if Shepard was really worth the risk, whether he felt the same way, whether she really felt so strongly about her superior officer. All those thoughts had disappeared when she actually walked in, and Shepard had turned to her with that disarming smile.

"To be honest Ash, the moment I woke up in that hospital in London, everything that has come after has been a bonus. When you told me you were pregnant with Maddy, I didn't care in the slightest about whether it would be a boy or a girl. There is no happiness a boy could bring me that our girl has not. You never have to doubt my love for our daughters, or wonder if I have any regrets. I have none."

Tears came to Ashley's eyes, which she quickly brushed away. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special, Skipper."

Shepard smiled, and kissed her again. "I love you all so much Ash. I can't put it into words, and you know that's rare for me."

"Same here John."

* * *

The cries came in unison, high, shrieking sounds that Shepard could not avoid, no matter how much he wanted to. Ashley had only just fallen asleep about two hours earlier, and Shepard hurried out of bed, grabbing a pair of pants to put on over his boxers. He began to walk towards the bedroom door when he heard Ashley get out of bed. "Ash, go back to sleep, I'll take care of them."

"Don't tell me what to do," Ash said sleepily. She threw on a robe over her nightgown and followed Shepard out into the hall. "Wait," she said, grabbing Shepard when they were nearly at the twins' room. "They aren't crying anymore."

Shepard opened the door, and stopped in his tracks. Ashley leaned her head over his shoulder, and had to clamp her hand over her mouth to muffle a gasp. Maddy was standing over the two cribs, which sat next to each other, and the babies had stopped crying. Jennifer giggled, but otherwise the room was silent. Shepard and Ashley snuck up behind their daughter, close enough to get a view of the twins' faces. Both were looking up at their big sister, smiling. Maddy had one hand in each crib, and would occasionally tickle the twins. "That is so sweet!" Ashley said, startling Maddy, who turned around quickly.

"You scared me!" she said. Jennifer began crying again, followed quickly Anna as well. Maddy rolled her eyes. "Now see what you did?"

Shepard burst out laughing at the authority his daughter was trying to impose on them. "Excuse me, young lady?"

"They were happy, another five minutes I would have been able to get them back to sleep." Maddy crossed her arms defiantly.

"Cut that attitude right now," Ashley said. It was never a good idea to have an attitude towards her when she was trying to shake off sleep. "You have school tomorrow, get back to bed."

Maddy walked past them, still with an attitude. "You could show some appreciation for me helping," she murmured, thinking neither of her parents would hear her.

Ashley turned towards her daughter, grabbing her arm forcefully. There was no fear, only defiance in Maddy's eyes. Shepard walked over to the cribs and picked both the babies up. He figured he might as well sit back and enjoy this, getting involved wouldn't help anything. "What did you just say?" Ashley asked.

"I was trying to help, so you two wouldn't have to wake up, and you are biting my head off. You could say thank you and politely ask me to go back to bed, rather than getting angry at me just because you are tired." Not a bad start, Maddy, Shepard thought, but she better be ready for the retort.

"And you could have shown less attitude when we walked in, rather than run your mouth," Ashley retorted. "I was perfectly pleasant until you decided to have an attitude."

"I didn't have an attitude, I was joking!"

"It didn't sound like you were joking!"

Shepard hurried past, ducking his head so his face was hidden by the twins, and went to the kitchen to grab bottles for them. When he returned, again hurrying past, he sat down in one of the wooden rocking chairs, holding a bottle to Anna's mouth first. The baby eagerly accepted it, and Jennifer did the same afterwards. Ashley and Maddy were still yelling at each other through it all. "Why can't you just thank me for helping?"

"I'm not yelling at you for helping, I'm mad because of the attitude," Ashley said. "You should be showing me more respect."

"But I don't get that same respect?" Maddy asked. "Respect is a two way street, mom, you don't get it if you don't show it."

The look on Ashley's face was as hostile as Shepard had ever seen towards their daughter, and for the first time he worried where this argument would end up. His daughter was a stubborn girl, and Ashley was a stubborn woman. Neither would calm down unless the either offered peace terms of some kind, and right now it looked like neither was close to wanting to end the argument. Shepard took the bottles from the twins, set them back in their cribs, and interjected himself between the two quarreling women. "Ashley, go ahead and feed the twins, I'll take Maddy to her room and handle this," he said, trying to convince his wife with his eyes that he was on her side.

Ashley stared at him intently, her expression furious. "Fine, deal with her." She walked over to the crib, picking Jennifer up to feed first.

With Ashley now disposed, Shepard turned a sympathetic expression towards his daughter. "Come on, Maddy," he said forcefully, leading her to her room. Once they got there, Maddy grabbed a stuffed animal off the bed and threw it against the wall. "Take a seat, please, I promise I'll be quick." Maddy was caught off guard by the lack of anger in her father's voice, and did as she was told. "Thank you for trying to take care of the twins before they woke up," Shepard said.

Now Maddy was completely caught off guard, her eyes wide as she looked at her father. "Um, you're welcome. I was just trying to help, I don't know why mom got so angry with me."

"Because you did have an attitude, Madeline," Shepard said. He never used her full first name, and he knew his daughter would pay attention since he did. "You're mom is very weary from taking care of your baby sisters, and she's on edge because of that. She is your mother, and in this case she was right. You have school tomorrow, and I've received two phone calls since you've gone back to school telling me you have been falling asleep in class too often."

"I still get good grades, why does it matter if I sometimes fall asleep?" Maddy argued.

"Because you are only falling asleep because you get up to help with the twins. They may be your baby sisters, but they are my daughters, and your mother's daughters, and they are our responsibility. Understand?"

Maddy stared glumly at her hands, intertwined on her lap. "Yes, dad. I'm sorry."

Shepard sat on the bed next to her and pulled Maddy into a hug. "I'm not the one to apologize to. Tomorrow, I want you to apologize to your mother. She does deserve more respect than you showed. From now on, leave the nighttime duties to your mother and I."

"Yes, sir." Maddy looked up at her dad with a small smile. "Thanks, dad."

"That's my job," Shepard said, patting Maddy on the back lightly. "Now go to bed." After turning off her lights, watching Maddy get under her blanket. When he walked past the twins' room, he saw that Anna was now in Ashley's arms, and Ashley herself was asleep. He knew better than to wake her up, and went back to their room, eyelids beginning to force themselves shut.

* * *

"Skipper, do not even think about it," Ashley said, standing in the way of the front door so Shepard could not leave the house. "You try to leave this house, and I will not hesitate to take you down myself."

Shepard was standing four feet away, keys in hand and impatience in every movement, every twitch of his muscles. "Ash, get out of the way."

Ashley poised herself, ready for Shepard to make his move. "Not happening."

The married couple stared at each other, every muscle in both their bodies tense. Shepard took one step forward, but immediately moved back when Ashley bent her knees. He had not been in a real fight or even a sparring session in years, and Ashley, despite never leaving Amaterasu anymore, was still an active Alliance soldier. She often came home telling of younger, cockier soldiers under her command that she taught a lesson during sparring. In his prime Shepard could take Ashley, but now he wasn't so sure. He would have to go through her to leave the house. He would try one more time to work this out diplomatically. "Ashley, please, I'll do whatever you want afterwards, but you have to let me go follow them. Don't make me have to force my way past you."

Ashley smirked, hands closing into fist and opening again. "I'm ready when you are."

Shepard took a step forward, but he knew he would never put his hands on Ashley. The very thought of it was ludicrous. "Okay, you win. I'll leave them alone." He walked away, towards the kitchen. Ashley watched him intently, eventually walking to the living room and sitting on the couch. Shepard joined her after splashing some water on his face. "How are you so calm? Maddy's out with some boy right now."

"Oh come on, Skipper! She's out with friends, one of whom happens to be a boy she has a crush on." Ashley rested her head on Shepard's shoulder. "Maddy's reaching an age where she is noticing boys. You're going to have to learn how to deal with it. Pretty soon she'll go out on dates. Deal with it."

"No," Shepard said childishly. Ashley stared him down, and Shepard looked away, not bothering to hide his anger. "Fine. I don't have to like it though."

Maddy was positively radiant when she came through the door at nine-thirty that night, meeting her curfew exactly. Shepard and Ashley were still sitting on the couch, and she practically skipped over to them. "Hi mom, hi dad!" she greeted, hugging each of them. She noticed the glum expression on her father's face and asked, "What's wrong, dad?"

"Nothing, ignore him," Ashley said, smiling brightly. "Okay, Skipper, time to leave so we can have some girl talk."

Shepard snapped his head in his wife's direction, staring incredulously. "What? I want to hear about her night too."

"Then ask her later! Shoo, this is a girl to girl type conversation. Go check on the twins, they should be waking up soon."

Shepard glared at both his wife and daughter, but got up and left all the same. When he reached the twins' room, they were still asleep. At seven months old, they were already crawling. They smiled, laughed, responded to their parents. Shepard could remember Maddy at this age like it was only yesterday. Now she was going on non-date dates. Reaching each of his hands down to gently smooth the hair on Anna and Jennifer's heads, he whispered, "I hope you two don't grow up as fast as your sister did."

* * *

**That's right, twin girls! The vote was close, but a girl won. I loved the idea of twins, and decided to leave Shepard vastly outnumbered. Seems like it will end up being harder on Ashley, since Maddy is such a stubborn daddy's girl, LOL. Review at your leisure, thank you for all the positive comments so far. It's always good to see people enjoying my writing, though BioWare deserves credit for creating such awesome characters. I will be trying to get some of the Normandy crew involved more over the next couple of chapters. I haven't given them the attention I should.**


	11. The Great War of the Normandy Crew

**Sorry for the delay between chapters. I finished up another story, and that took my time. I'm back to the grind, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"The rules are the same as always," Shepard bellowed, making sure everyone could hear him. "Teams of six, hour time limit, when you're hit three times you make your way towards the wall and lay on the ground. Anyone that gets a kill by laying on the ground and fooling the person they killed is immediately disqualified." He made sure to cast a deep glare towards Garrus, who had pulled the trick before, originating the rule. "We have a newcomer today. I know you're thinking you will take easy advantage of her, but I think you'll find she's more than prepared for your tricks. Take your positions."

It was an annual tradition for Shepard and Ashley to take part in some type of war games with the rest of the former Normandy crew, but what made this year special was Maddy's participation, for the very first time. Since there was a minor involved, the teams were a little more uneven than usual. Shepard and Ashley were both on Maddy's team, despite vehement protest that they should never be allowed on the same team after the first time they did this, a decade earlier. Shepard and Ashley were still active soldiers then, and had wiped the floor with the other team almost completely by themselves. They were using non lethal weapons, that would at worst leave minor burns.

The two teams consisted of the three Shepards, Tali, Grunt and Jack against Garrus, Wrex, Miranda, Liara, Kasumi, and Vega. It had come as a surprise when Grunt and Kasumi had confirmed their participation. Grunt was always on some mission or another, and was usually too busy for the little get togethers the Normandy had, while Kasumi was generally unreliable as far as whether she would show up to anything they did. Shepard liked to think that they had come because it was Maddy's first time. Once Shepard and his team had taken their place, he turned to his daughter, who was smiling eagerly, ready to begin. "Alright, remember all the tricks I told you about. Remember all the training Garrus has given you with his guns. Stick close to either your mother or Grunt at all times, use cover wisely."

"Roger that, sir."

Shepard smiled at his daughter using military jargon, and saw Ashley doing the same. "Alright, soldiers, we know their tendencies. Wrex and Vega will be their wrecking balls, trying to cause as much havoc as possible and distract us. Miranda and Kasumi will be near them, ready to pick off anyone they can while they are distracted. Liara can be unpredictable, but usually she likes to skirt the boundaries of the battlefield, striking from our flanks."

"And I always catch her," Jack said, confident smile on her face.

"That's right. Ashley, Grunt, you two will have to meet Wrex and Vega in the middle of the battlefield, but I want you to draw them back our way. Hold your ground, but let them push you back a little. Miranda and Kasumi will hesitate to follow, and Tali and I will deal with them."

"Aye aye, Skipper," Ashley said.

"They are ours," Tali said menacingly.

Shepard turned to Jack and his daughter, who were standing near each other. "Jack, you take Maddy and go asari hunting. Be ready for anything."

"Easy work," Jack said.

"We'll handle it," Maddy said.

"Alright. Now I've only lost three times in the 10 years we've been holding these games. My team has won four straight. I intend to make that five here today. We have our gameplan, we know what theirs is going to be, let's get out there and beat their asses!" Team Shepard cheered loudly, and they headed out.

The game went according to plan for the first fifteen minutes. Wrex and Vega had taken the lead, and were pushing Ashley and Grunt backwards slowly but surely. As Shepard had expected, Miranda and Kasumi were hesitant to follow. He had personally spotted Miranda in the second floor window of one of the fake buildings, but she had quickly ducked out of sight. Tali was off to his right, still in view as she walked forward. She had recklessly taken a shot a Wrex a few minutes earlier, hitting her shot but taking one in return. Shepard had considered doing the same to put a second hit on Wrex, the most dangerous member of the opposite team, but Vega would have had him dead to rights.

He continued to stalk forward, the sounds of guns being fired lessening as he moved away from the main battle between the heavy hitters. He took cover every step of the way, knowing from experience that Miranda and Kasumi could both pop up seemingly out of nowhere and take him out. The sound of a boot kicking a stone caught Shepard's ear, and he cautiously headed that way. The sound had come from a narrow passage off of a larger one, perfect area for an ambush. There had to be a one percent chance at best that the sound he heard was an accident. Probably Kasumi waiting ahead, she was fond of this type of distraction.

Shepard walked carefully down the alley, eyes tuned to any possible ambush point. Though it was a rule that Kasumi could not use her little invisibility trick, Shepard was always prepared for it anyway. The soft footsteps that fell behind him may have gone unheard to someone else, but not Shepard. He dropped to the ground moments before the shots came his way, and they soared over him. He fired off four of his own, the first missing while the last three hit the thief in the stomach. "Damn it, Shep!" she screamed. Kasumi lay on the ground, a disappointed look on her face. "Over here, Shep's over here!" she screamed, sticking her tongue out at the former Spectre.

* * *

"Liara will probably see you and get all giddy and crap, so we'll be able to kick her ass then," Jack said, leading the way as Maddy followed. "I always kick her ass, she's such a wimp."

"I'll be ready," Maddy said, trying hard not to laugh. She loved spending time with Jack, Jack was the only one that didn't still treat her like a little girl. Her crass language caused some problems with Maddy's parents, but Jack had quickly adjusted to just talking to Maddy the way she did with her students at Grissom. The two of them were ducking in and out of the fake buildings on the battlefield, checking every direction with their guns aimed high. Jack was carrying a shotgun, a pistol in a holster at her hip, while Maddy had her pistol out, with a sniper rifle for backup. Jack led the way, walking forward in a way that would appear casual to anyone not right next to her. Since she was standing right next to the powerful biotic, Maddy could see the way her muscles were tense, twitching, ready to react to anything.

Jack had taken a step onto the street when a shot narrowly missed her arm, and she stepped back into the alley she had come from. Maddy stopped in place as well, her heart racing. This was it, her first combat. "Calm down, newbie," Jack whispered. "If you breathe that hard, you won't have a chance in hell of actually hitting someone when you pull that trigger." Maddy calmed down, not realizing until then how heavily she had been breathing. "Looks like there is a vantage point on the second floor of this building right here," Jack continued, pointing to a doorway that led inside one of the fake buildings. "If you can get up there and cover me, I'll draw this bitch out of hiding. Think you can do that." Maddy nodded. "Alright, get up there, I'm heading out onto the street in three minutes. Cover me, and we'll take Liara's blue ass out no problem."

One minute later, Maddy was in position at a window, sniper rifle aimed while she took care not to expose herself any more than possible. She could see Jack down below, stalking down the street, crouching as she moved. There was no sign of the asari they were hunting, though there were plenty of places to hide. For a moment Maddy thought she saw Liara on the street below, fifty yards away, but when she looked through the scope of her rifle there was nothing there. Jack ducked into an alley, out of sight, and Maddy began to sweat. She had a nagging feeling that someone was going to sneak up behind her. When she looked behind her, just to make sure, she heard shots down below, and quickly aimed her rifle that way. Jack ran onto the main street, firing her shotgun as fast as she could, and took a shot to the shoulder before she could duck behind cover.

Maddy fired at Liara as soon as the asari came into view, running out after a retreating Jack, but the shot missed by at least five feet. The girl's hands were shaking as she readied another shot, but by then Jack had taken three shots, screaming, "Son of a bitch!" as she lay on the ground. Liara cocked her head in the direction of the window where Maddy was aiming from, a predatory smile on her face. Frightened and nervous, Maddy left her sniper rifle where it was as she descended back towards ground level.

* * *

"I am Krogan!" Grunt shouted, his satisfaction in his victory over Wrex also vocalized by the rumbling roar of laughter he released. Wrex simply smirked as he took his place on the ground. The two Krogan had met in the middle of the street, both landing two shots on each other and running out of ammo. From there the confrontation had been physical, both punching and grappling. Both reached for pistols at some point, only to have the other knock their gun away. The two fought for ten minutes, until finally Grunt's youth won over, and he was able to overpower Wrex. Once the older Krogan was on the ground, Grunt was finally able to reach his pistol and fire the last shot to eliminate Wrex from the game. Unfortunately, Shepard could only watch as Vega in turn eliminated Grunt while he celebrated.

Miranda was still on the loose, having eliminated Tali in an ambush that caught both the quarian and Shepard completely by surprise. Shepard had managed to land a shot on the brunette, but not before taking one of his own. Then she had disappeared, leaving Shepard paranoid as hell that she would pop up again. He had heard Jack cursing a few minutes earlier, and had to force himself not to go help Maddy, if she was still in the game. Ashley was taking cover twenty feet away, popping out of cover every so often to fire a burst at Vega, taking cover behind a "car" nearby. Shepard signaled for her to continue, while he snuck around to hit Vega's flank.

Vega appeared to have no idea Shepard was flanking him, and the former Spectre was not making it easy, only moving when Vega was preoccupied with firing back at Ashley. Shepard had moved within ten feet when a shot hit him in the chest, and he barely managed to duck to the ground moments before another would have hit him. Miranda had appeared from seemingly nowhere. Damn it, why had he not put her on his team like he usually did?

Shepard stayed behind cover, only firing when he was absolutely sure he would not be shot the moment he showed his face. Miranda was behind a waist high piece of cover, never giving Shepard a chance to formulate any real plan besides staying where he was. Vega knew where he was now as well, though Ashley was keeping him pinned down. Even with Ashley there, it was only a matter of time before Miranda and Vega would rush him, and the chances he could somehow avoid the last shot to get eliminated were basically none. There was a good chance Liara was on her way as well. What a stupid idea this had been, Shepard thought as he lay down blind fire in Miranda's direction. He should have stayed where he was and waited for Ashley to take Vega out, or Miranda to make the first move. A stupid idea came to Shepard, the type that might have worked if this was a real firefight but would certainly get him eliminated right now. He was about to do it when a loud shot rang out, followed by Miranda yelling, "No way!"

* * *

Maddy crept silently and slowly amongst the buildings. There was no sign of Liara anywhere. Maddy clutched her pistol tightly. She had stuck around near the building she had been sniping from, in case she could catch Liara coming that way to find her, but that had not worked. Now she was walking aimlessly, just trying not to get caught off guard. She did that for about five minutes, before she decided that her best chance to stay in the game was to head back towards her dad. He would know what to do.

Beads of sweat were pouring down Maddy's forehead now, every so often running into her eyes and forcing her to wipe them away. The tie holding her hair back was beginning to feel uncomfortable, and her clothes were sticking to her skin. Maddy was feeling little more than completely uncomfortable at the moment. Every sound had her on edge, jumping to look in the direction they came from. She accidentally kicked a rock at her feet, and was milliseconds from shooting it. She just had to get back to her father. He had to be close now.

She heard the shots, very close now. Couldn't be more than thirty or forty yards away. The pace of her steps increased, as Maddy's eagerness to get back to her father increased. The gunshots became louder and louder as she moved faster and faster. She nearly broke into a room, when a shape caught the corner of her eye. Maddy dove behind cover just in time to avoid the last two of three shots, though one hit her leg at the knee, leaving a scorched mark. Frantically, and with no plan, she ran in the opposite direction of where Liara had shot at her. She ducked into alleys, inside buildings, out windows, all the while shots hitting the wall behind her. At some point she ended up lost, and at a dead end, with nowhere to run except back the way she came.

Knowing that Liara would arrive in that alley within moments, Maddy decided to go on the attack. Not like she had much a choice, and hopefully it would catch Liara off guard. She had just begun running back towards the alley entrance when Liara came into view, gun held forward. She hesitated at the sight of Maddy running towards her, exactly what the girl had been hoping. Liara hurried back into cover when Maddy opened fire, but not until she was hit once. When Maddy turned the corner, still firing, Liara was running into a building. The asari turned and fired, missing widely, while Maddy was able to hit Liara again. The girl's nervousness could not have been much worse, but adrenaline was kicking in as well.

Liara had somehow reached a second floor window in the time it took Maddy to get halfway to the building the asari had entered, and Maddy had to sprint faster to avoid the shots that came her way. She could not avoid one, and was hit with her second shot. Maddy suddenly had an idea, and screamed, "Crap!" As she had hoped, Liara came strolling down from the second floor, a smug smile on her face, and gun lowered. Maddy did not hesitate, firing the final four shots in her clip as quickly as possible. The first two missed, but the next two both hit, one at Liara's forearm and the other at her abdomen. The look of shock on the asari's face would have been hilarious if Maddy was not so relieved. The shock faded quickly, replaced by a smile. "I'd suggest you go back and get your sniper rifle," Liara said. Maddy began running, and Liara called out, "Don't expect to catch me off guard like that ever again!"

* * *

A second shot rang out, hitting the cover near Vega, and this time Shepard was able to see where it came form. An impossibly wide smile came to his face when he saw it was his daughter that had saved his ass, firing her sniper rifle and keeping Vega trapped where he was. Ashley and Shepard made eye contact, and with a nod both sprinted towards the one remaining member of the other team. Vega made a valiant last stand, Wrex and Miranda cheering him on as his frantic shots came within inches of hitting Shepard and landed once on Ashley. It was three on one, however, and there was nothing he could do when Shepard and Ashley both opened fire at the same time, hitting Vega with five shots and winning the game.

Afterwards, when everyone but the two Krogan had stripped their armor and were wearing casual clothing again, the stories and complaints began. Jack was furious that Liara had taken her out, Grunt was still boasting of his victory over Wrex, Kasumi and Miranda were discussing what they should have done differently, and Maddy most of all was exaggerating the story of how she took out Liara over and over. A quick comment was made on the asari's part about how Maddy had tricked her, and that there should be a rule starting next year about such a tactic not being allowed. "So is this something you would like to do again, Maddy?" Jack asked, a devilish smile on her face. "Next time you won't catch any of these assholes off guard, but I'll personally make sure you're better at this."

"She is definitely a Shepard," Tali said.

"Yeah, right down to the dirty tricks," Miranda teased.

Ashley was about to protest, but Maddy laughed, saying, "That's right, and don't tell me they didn't work. You're all just mad that a 13 year old girl outlasted you." Both of her parents burst out laughing, as did Wrex, Grunt, and Tali. Shepard, Ashley, and Maddy were the first to leave, as they had to get back home to relieve Lynn of watching the twins. Maddy's smile stayed on her face, bragging about the role she played in the battle the entire ride home, and up until the moment she fell asleep on their couch back home.

* * *

**I may not have been clear enough, but this is like laser tag or paintball with weapons that are strong enough to leave easily removed burn marks on their armor, and nothing else. And obviously it's not that serious, it's all for fun. Just in case anyone thought I had Maddy really holding her own with capable warriors like these, using anything resembling real weapons, that's not what was happening. Garrus's weapon training with the eldest Shepard daughter is paying off. ;)**


	12. Endings of Eras

The drinks had been flowing for a couple of hours now, but the only one that seemed to be feeling them was the woman being celebrated. Chakwas's steps were shaky, her eyes were lidded, and her voice seemed to grow in volume with every sip she took from her glass. She was on her fifth glass of Serrice Ice Brandy, the last bottle she ever kept for herself, and seemed to be on the verge of just grabbing the bottle and chugging directly from it. Currently the retiring doctor was in the midst of a loud conversation with Joker and two friends Shepard didn't know, her wide gestures funny to watch but also showing just how much the doctor was trying to drown her sorrows with alcohol. Any questions about whether it had been Chakwas's decision to retire or not had been answered when Shepard and Ashley had arrived at the party to find her already flushed and nursing a drink.

"It's kind of sad to watch, isn't it?" a female voice said from behind Shepard. He turned his head and saw Liara approach, a forced smile on her face. "First you were forced out, now Chakwas. She called me a year ago, crying, telling me that the Alliance had approached her about retirement. I assume they finally found a way to force her out."

Shepard nodded. "I was surprised when they let her back into the Alliance after we stopped the Collectors. If there had been any legit reason to keep her out, they almost certainly would have. Sometimes I wonder why those of us that served on the Normandy are mistreated and disrespected more by the Alliance than we are by any government in the galaxy."

"I don't know, Shepard," Liara sad, taking a sip from the glass in her hand. A smile came to her. "Would you like to see how my Aetia is doing?" she asked.

"Of course!" Shepard said, forcing his angry thoughts towards the Alliance away. Liara pulled up a set of photos on her omnitool, showing her quickly growing daughter. "Maybe this sounds bad, like I'm an idiot or a racist or something, but I can't see any of Eric in him. Not at all."

Liara laughed, closing the omnitool display. "He says the same thing. I see it in every feature. Her mouth, her eyes, her demeanor, her manner of speaking, it all reminds me of Aetia's father."

"Shepard!" a loud, slurred voice shouted. Shepard and Liara both offered sympathetic smiles as Chakwas approached. "Liara, John, what are you two talking about over here? Both your spouses are at this party, I'd be careful about making googly eyes at each other." A little girl giggle escaped Chakwas's lips, and she placed an arm around Liara's shoulders, nearly stumbling into Shepard in the process. "Now that I'm retired, I guess I an finally do all those things I never got a chance to do until now. Like, sit in my apartment all day watching television, or play bingo. Seniors like myself still play bingo, don't they?" Her tone was doing little to hide the resentment she felt.

"I'm sorry, Karin, I know how this feels," Shepard said.

"More actually. You were still in the prime of your life when they made you walk away. At least with me they had my age as an excuse." Chakwas downed the rest of her brandy, but for the first time all night did not immediately head for the bar for a refill. "I knew it was coming. I may be well known and respected, but I'm an ancient relic from a different time. I'm still a capable doctor, but not at my sharpest anymore. I can't fully blame the Alliance for wanting me to retire. I just don't know what to do now."

"You could join any number of hospitals anywhere in the galaxy," Liara said. "Very few, if any, would turn away someone like you. Maybe you could get an administration position at one of them, or even start up your own clinic."

Chakwas rubbed her chin in thought. Shepard had always though the habit looked very strange, even after all these years watching her do it. "I suppose. Not what I wanted to do with my life, but it's certainly to early for me to just stop working. I'd rather run my own clinic than run any prestigious hospital though."

"We'd love to have you on Amaterasu," Shepard suggested. "Ash hates all of our hospitals. If you were to set up shop anywhere near us, you could count on our business."

The smile on Chakwas's face was one of a drunk woman, but it was still genuine. "I'll think about it. Thank you both so much. The hell with it, the Alliance may think I'm too old, but I can still do this job better than 90 percent of the doctors in this galaxy."

Shepard shouted for quiet, and raised his glass. "Here's to Karin Chakwas, the best damn doctor any of us ever met!" A roar of cheers swept through the room and afterwards Chakwas moved on to another conversation with a group of soldiers near the bar.

Ashley walked over, stone cold sober and sipping a glass of water after only one glass of Chakwas's brandy. "She looks happier now."

"It only took five minutes talking to your husband," Liara said with a smirk on her face. "That's usually all it takes for anyone to feel better."

Chakwas laughed loudly, getting the attention of the three former crewmates. "Good job, skipper. I figured she would just end up more and more depressed as the night went on." Another round of cheers went up, and Ashley watched as Chakwas downed a shot of what appeared to be whiskey. "Of course, it could just be the alcohol."

* * *

Maddy carefully crept out of the twins' room, smiling as she did so. It was probably her hundredth smile that night. She couldn't believe her parents had actually trusted her to take care of the twins by herself. They had tried just about every other option first, but they still ended up trusting her to be responsible for them. No way was she going to blow this chance to prove she could be trusted. If she did a good job looking after her baby sisters, her parents would have to start trusting her. Maybe they'd finally increase her allowance and her curfew time.

With both her sisters fast asleep, she went back out to the living room. The movie she had been watching was paused, and she resumed it, barely paying attention. It was an awful movie. When the phone rang, she turned it off with no intention of finishing it. She smiled when she saw who it was that was calling her on the ID.

* * *

"Shepard, you are not driving, no way," Ashley insisted, holding the keys away from her falling down drunk husband. "Get in the freaking car and pass out."

"I'm enjoying your sexy body too much to pass out," Shepard slurred.

Ashley rolled her eyes, and after a minute had forced Shepard into the backseat of their car. She wasn't sure when it had happened, but at some point after she had walked away from him and Liara, Shepard had started drinking heavily. By the time she noticed, he was trading shots with two others at the bar, and had been drunk for a while.

Even in his altered state, Shepard was able to tell Ashley was mad. "Why are you so mad? It was a party, I was having fun. Chakwas insisted."

"Getting shitfaced, passed out drunk is 'having fun' now?"

"I'm sorry," he slurred. "Don't pretend you've never gotten drunk before. I remember walking in on you laying on the floor back on the Normandy. You were drunker than I am now."

Ashley ignored the barb, and as she hoped her husband fell asleep five minutes later.

* * *

"Please, you have to stop," Maddy argued, though her body was clearly receptive to the little kisses being planted along her jaw. "My parents could walk through that door any minute now."

"So what? They know me."

"They don't know about us, though. They would freak if they walked in on you kissing me, especially you."

Carrie stopped for a moment, false exasperation in the sigh she let out. "They're going to find out at some point. We're both 15, we're old enough to make choices about who we do or don't want to date. It's not like they've never seen you with boyfriends."

Maddy looked at Carrie as if she was the stupidest person on the planet. "You're not a boyfriend."

Her girlfriend backed off finally, exasperated. Maddy understood, it was not their first time having this conversation. "Would your parents really be that upset that you like girls?" Carrie asked.

"My dad wouldn't. He's the most understanding person I've ever seen, I could tell him I'm pregnant and he would take it in stride. My mom would. She's understanding but she's really religious. I can't imagine she would just be okay with the two of us being together."

Carrie snuggled back up to Maddy, resuming her kisses along her girlfriend's jaw and the corner of her mouth. Maddy struggled to resist, but knew she would give in eventually. "If your dad would be okay with it, he can make your mom okay with it. Come on, your dad is Commander John freaking Shepard. He can convince anyone of anything." Maddy didn't resist when Carrie began probing at her lips.

The sound of a door opening was vaguely aware to Maddy some time later, though she had no idea how long she had been making out with Carrie. The next thing she heard was a loud gasp. Maddy turned her head slowly, and saw her mother standing in the doorway, mouth agape and staring at the two girls on her couch. Her father was standing there as well, and she could tell by one look that he was drunk. "I'll be right back. Neither of you move." Ashley said, her voice giving no hint as to what she thought of the scene she had walked in on.

"My little girl has a boyfriend!" Shepard said, stumbling as Ashley helped him to the bedroom.

Maddy looked away, face burning red at this point. She never looked over at Carrie, but she knew her girlfriend was still there. When a door closed and footsteps foretold the coming of her mother, Maddy forced herself to look back up, as proudly and confidently as she could. This was bound to happen at some point, why not now?

Ashley took a seat in the reclining chair to the right of the couch, turning it so she was facing the two girls on the couch. "Is this what you've been doing all night when you were supposed to be watching your sisters?"

Maddy's eyes narrowed, and her mouth twisted, her anger evident. She checked the clock for the first time since she last checked on the twins. "That's really the first question you asked me? Carrie's been here for thirty minutes, Anna and Jennifer have been asleep for an hour now. I checked on them fifteen minutes ago."

"Really?" Maddy only grew angrier at her mother's doubts . "Alright. If you're lying we'll find out soon enough. So long has this been going on?"

The way Ashley said the word this had Maddy ready to start yelling. That would not help at all, she knew. She had to stay calm. "Five months."

Much the way her daughter was clearly holding back anger, Ashley was trying her hardest to stay level headed as well. She wasn't sure what exactly she thought of the scene she had walked in on. Ashley had never been an intolerant person, but a lifetime of having the wrongs of homosexuality drilled into her head by various pastors was going to have some effect on her. On the other hand, she had never in her life looked down upon anyone that was gay. This was her daughter though. "So you guys are pretty serious, I guess?" Five months was a long time for any 15 year old girl. Let alone two of them with each other.

The question only made Maddy angrier. "Yes, we are serious. Just because you may not like it doesn't mean we aren't serious about each other."

"Maddy, calm down. I didn't ask you that because of any disapproval I might feel."

"So you do disapprove," Maddy said.

Ashley internally cursed herself for her choice of words. Maddy was ready for a fight, and Ashley was walking right into it without realizing what she was saying. "Maddy, I know and am friends with more than a few women who prefer other women. I'll be honest with you and say I'm not sure how I feel about what I'm seeing here, but I don't feel any particular approval or disapproval at this moment. I'm just asking some questions."

Maddy's anger did not entirely dissipate, but it did lessen. "Mom, I'm not trying to make you upset, but we love each other. This is what I want, and I don't really care if you and dad don't like it." The lie about not caring was convincing, but it was clearly a lie. Ashley smiled at her daughter using the word love to describe someone she had been with for five months, but considering she had felt the same way about Shepard after one month of shooting geth and mercs, she had little right to tell Maddy it was not love she felt.

Turning her attention to Carrie, who had sat silently and motionless the entire time, Ashley said, "Then I'll just say the same thing I would have said to the first boy I caught making out with my daughter. You better treat her well, and you better respect her. That means not making out with her when she's supposed to be taking care of her sisters, and also not making out with her on the couch where her father or I will see. Got it?" Carrie nodded. "Okay. Why don't you go ahead and head home." Carrie stood silently, and left the same way.

Once her girlfriend was gone, Maddy's resolve faded. "Mom, I promise I was not neglecting Anna and Jennifer. They were sleeping peacefully before Carrie even came over, and I was constantly checking on them."

Ashley sat next to her daughter, placing her hand on Maddy's. "You still can't sit on the couch and make out with anyone. You didn't even hear me open the door. I doubt you would have heard if either of your sisters had rolled out of their bed and hurt themselves. I know you wouldn't have seen if they had walked out here and grabbed a hold of something they shouldn't have."

Maddy stared down at the ground, looking her mom in the eye being the last thing she wanted to do. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Just," Ashley paused. "Look, I don't know how I feel about this, but you deserve to be treated with some respect and maturity here. You've earned that. So if Carrie is who you want to be with, I'll just have to learn to deal with it." Maddy lit up briefly, until Ashley raised her hand. "Just because I'm treating you with respect now, does not mean I will continue to do so if you act immaturely. Tonight was not a good start."

* * *

"No way, skipper. No way," Ashley said, staring at the behemoth in front of her. Her arms were crossed, and her expression made it clear she would not have her mind changed. Shepard and Maddy were trying their hardest, but Ashley stared them both down. "Maddy may not have the horror stories involving that thing in her memory, but I do."

"Ash, come on!" Shepard continued to plead. "I wasn't that bad!"

"Please, mom?" Maddy asked, making her best pouting face. "It won't be the same if you're not going with us."

"I promise, I'll be extremely careful and stay on nothing but flat ground," Shepard said.

"No." It was like arguing with two children.

"Well, we're going," Shepard said, finally giving up. He couldn't believe that he had been that bad all those years ago. I mean, sometimes things had gone awry but that was usually no fault of his own. "This thing is a legend, it deserves one last drive."

Ashley shook her head. "Then you two can do it on your own. When you end up upside down in a canyon somewhere, don't expect me to help you out."

Shepard watched his wife walk away from the Mako, disappointed that she would not be going with them. This year, the M35 Mako was officially being removed from use in the Alliance military, and Shepard had managed to convince Ash, as the top ranking officer on Amaterasu, to let him take the vehicle for one last drive. It had taken a lot of convincing and more than a few promises of later favors for her to agree, especially when Shepard told her Maddy wanted to go as well. "Well, Maddy, you ready?" His daughter nodded eagerly, and the two climbed inside.

It had been at least ten years since he had driven a Mako, but Shepard did not need very long to remember how to. Within fifteen minutes, he was using the jets to jump in the air and climbing hills just like he used to. His eyes widened as a mountain range came into view on the vehicle's radar. "Hold on, this is going to be fun."

Eight minutes later, Maddy was letting out little yelps and gasps as the Mako steadily climbed the mountainside. Shepard had a large grin, remembering all the times he had done this on the dozens of uncharted planets the Normandy crew had explored. A large rock formation came in the way, and Maddy screamed when Shepard drove the Mako directly into it, sending the vehicle in the air. When the tires landed on the other side, she put one hand over her heart, breathing heavily. "I thought mom was exaggerating," she said. "You're a terrible driver, dad."

"Yeah, I know, everyone's a critic. Did it ever occur to anyone that I drive this way because it's fun and the Mako can take it?" He hit the jets, and whooped as the vehicle soared into the air, somehow going backwards rather than forward. "I missed this so much!"

When Shepard finally stopped at the mountain's peak, Maddy left the Mako as quickly as she could manage, dropping to her hands and knees on the ground. She had never felt so glad to set foot on solid ground. When she had finally calmed down, she looked up for the first time and let out a gasp. She could see everything from up here. The Alliance base they had left were the closest buildings. Past that she could see the road leading to the city they lived in. Her school, the mall, the neighborhoods where most people in the colony lived. Off to the west she could see the miles and miles of buildings being constructed, a long overdue expansion of the colony. Behind her, a forest sat at the foot of the mountain, and stretched out of sight. To the east of the colony, a flat plain dominated the landscape leading up to another mountain chain. Laker Omatsu shimmered in the late afternoon sunlight to the north. "This is so beautiful up here," Maddy whispered.

"Very," Shepard said, standing next to his daughter. "Your mom would have loved this sight."

"So would Carrie," Maddy said.

Shepard grimaced, remembering why he had brought his daughter up here. "Speaking of Carrie, we haven't talked about that yet." Two weeks had passed since the night he and Ash had walked in on their daughter with her girlfriend, and while Shepard may have been too drunk to know what he saw at the time, Ashley had been quick to tell him the next morning.

Maddy looked over at him. "What do you mean? Mom talked to me about it."

"But I haven't."

His daughter stared at him, confused. "Okay."

Shepard sat down near the Mako, leaning his back against the tires. He patted the ground next to him, and Maddy joined him. "So, you and Carrie are serious from what I hear. Five months, right?" Maddy nodded. "I can't help but think of how angry I was every time you went somewhere with a boy, and how I wasn't when I heard about you two. It may not be right, but I feel less worried about you and another girl."

"Maybe you won't follow me and Carrie when we go out then?" Maddy asked.

"That was one time, and it was your second date. I couldn't help it!" Maddy laughed at her father's rationalization, and Shepard smiled at her. "I'm sure you thought your mom would be really upset about you dating another girl, but she's really not. Maybe you should stop being such a confrontational bitch around her all the time?"

"Dad!" Maddy shouted, shocked by her dad's bad language. "I'm sorry. We're too much alike."

"The only thing alike about you two is your looks and your stubbornness. Although I guess the stubbornness is all that needs to be the same for you two to argue as much as you do. You know your mom loves you, right?"

"Yes, dad."

"No, no, don't give me that," Shepard said. "You know your mom loves you, that you and your sisters are the most important thing in the world to her, right?"

Maddy shrugged. "I know she loves me, but she's always so controlling. She doesn't trust me at all. We're always arguing because she still treats me like a little girl."

Shepard chuckled. "No, you're always arguing because you both always assume that the other is trying to start an argument. If the two of you would just talk, that wouldn't happen. Impossible sounding, I know, but maybe you should give it a try sometime."

Maddy smiled faintly. "Okay."

"That's my girl." Shepard hugged his daughter, and smiled when she returned the hug. "Now for the fun part. Going back down the mountain!"

Maddy's stomach roiled, and her face turned pale.

* * *

**I'm very interested to hear the feedback on this chapter, if everyone hates what I did here or not. I could always make it a phase, after all. I also realize I haven't given the twins much attention, this is a story about Maddy but I will be given the twins some focus now that they are reaching an age where they will be very hard to ignore. **

**Next chapter: Sweet 16 party! And there will absolutely be a lot of Normandy crew present.**


	13. Sweet 16

**I rewrote this chapter after a review made me realize the lack of thought I had given it. Hopefully it's better for anyone else less than satisfied as well. **

* * *

"You can't put this off until after my party is over?" Maddy pleaded. "It's my 16th birthday party, you have to be here! You and mom said everyone and their families will be here, and all my friends are going to be here, you can't miss it."

Shepard frowned, not knowing what he could say to make his daughter feel any better. "I'm sorry, I have to go. I should be back in the afternoon, it's really not that big a deal."

"You haven't missed anything, ever. How can you risk missing my 16th birthday party!?" Maddy was getting angry now, and was on the verge of saying something she would regret.

Pulling her into a hug, which Maddy did not return immediately, Shepard said, "I'll be here. I promise, I'll just be later than everyone else. I might even show up with some awesome present to make up for it."

Those were the magic words, at least to calm her down for the moment. "You better be here. I'd hate to have to sic mom on you."

"Hey, disappointment is one thing, a threat like that is going too far!" Shepard joked. When Maddy laughed, he relaxed a little. It wasn't as if he asked to do this the day of Maddy's birthday, and he could not simply say no when two extremely important representatives from two separate governments were personally flying to Amaterasu to meet with him. He had initially said no to a meeting on the Citadel, because of Maddy's birthday, and the two diplomats had insisted, saying they were willing to come to the Alliance base on Amaterasu to hold the meeting. Besides the fact that a refusal would be far too disrespectful, the diplomats' willingness to make things so convenient had to mean this meeting was very important.

"Fine," Maddy relented.

As soon as she walked away, Shepard had to deal with the bigger, older version walking towards him, and judging by her expression she was no happier than their daughter had been moments ago. Ashley did not even look at him as she walked past and into the living room. Shepard reluctantly followed, wondering what the hell he was doing. He was about to speak when Ashley interrupted, saying, "Don't even try to smooth talk me. If you make it before the party is over, we don't have a problem. Simple as that." Shepard nodded and left, wondering when exactly he had become such a wimp. Most likely about the time Ashley told him she was pregnant, he thought with a shake of the head.

He left at nine in the morning the day of the meeting, and reached the Alliance base forty-five minutes later. The meeting was not supposed to start for another half an hour, but Shepard never went anywhere without arriving at least ten to fifteen minutes early. That was one habit he would never break, no matter how long he spent out of the military. A few reporters, none of them local, had been waiting near the entrance gate of the base, but Shepard had ignored their questions while waiting for the gate to open.

Alliance Prime Minister Raheem Hadad arrived at precisely ten o'clock, dressed immaculately as always in his Alliance blue suit. Two Alliance provided bodyguards flanked the Prime Minister to either side, and Shepard was surprised to see no others. "Hello, Prime Minister Hadad," Shepard greeted.

Hadad had always treated Shepard with the utmost respect, and in the former Spectre's opinion was a great improvement on his predecessor. As always, he greeted Shepard with a smile and a hug. "It is good to see you, my friend. How are you?"

"Just fine," Shepard said. "It's my daughter's 16th birthday today."

Hadad grimaced. "I am sorry to take you away from your family on such a day, but the situation is quite urgent."

"I understand, sir. Is this all the security you have with you?"

Hadad nodded. "I tried not to draw much attention to my visit. My typical security entourage would have made secrecy of any kind impossible. As it is, I already noticed the media outside the base. Luckily, none of them seemed to notice it was me who arrived at the base." Shepard could understand, though it only made him worry more about what exactly the Prime Minister needed to speak with him about.

The two men exchanged small talk until the arrival of the Asari diplomat, Nyzeri Hallasa. Shepard had met Hallasa twice before, and in their brief conversations he quickly gained a respect for her intelligence and foresight, though she came off as a cold person. Unsurprisingly, she had no entourage with her. Shepard could not pretend to have in depth knowledge of how the Asari government operated, but their diplomats tended to always travel alone, or with one guard at most. It was likely Hallasa was attempting to maintain the same secrecy Hadad was. The asari shook the hands of the two men she was meeting with, saying nothing, and a nearby Alliance soldier led the three of them to a conference room for their meeting.

* * *

"Anna! Stop bothering Maddy, please!" Anna pouted at her mother, but ran off towards Garrus, where her twin sister Jennifer was giggling at whatever the turian was saying. The house was quickly filling up with guests, and Ashley found herself constantly on the move as she greeted guests, grabbed food from the kitchen to place on the table for Maddy and her friends, ended up in conversations with her sisters, and generally kept an eye on everyone to make sure her house did not get destroyed by all the people currently inside it. Her annoyance that Shepard was not there grew with every hour that passed.

The doorbell rang as she finished placing bottles of soft drinks in a cooler, and she hurried to the door. She opened it, greeting Tali, Gran, and their two children. Their son Narol and daughter Zaeli were both among Maddy's favorites of the kids the Normandy crew had, and after brief greetings of their own they went to the backyard, where Maddy and her friends were currently spending their time. "We'll have to catch up later, I need to bring these drinks in this cooler outside," Ashley said. Tali and Gran nodded, and walked over to where Liara and Eric were talking to Chakwas.

By noon, almost everyone had arrived, the only person expected at the party that had not arrived being Miranda. Shepard had still not come home, but he had said he would not be back until sometime around three or four. Jack had been the last to arrive, and had quickly settled outside with the kids, of course. Even after all these years, of which Ashley had become very good friends with the powerful biotic, Jack was almost every bit the teenager at heart she had been when they had met.

With so many people in such a crowded space, the increasingly loud swell of noise was inescapable, and Ash excused herself from her present company. She hurried to the bathroom in the master bedroom, rubbing her temples and enjoying the near silence. The reprieve only lasted for a few minutes before the doorbell rang again, and Ash hurried out to answer it.

* * *

"Christ, what the hell were they thinking?" Shepard said, leaning back in the uncomfortable chair he currently sat in. "Look, I'd love to help, but I don't know what you expect me to do."

"You can convince Urdnot Wrex to take action, and you can convince the Salarian dalatrass to stay her hand," Hadad said. "You have a friendship with many of the Krogan leaders, and the respect of both sides. The Council already attempted to intervene, and they only made things worse. We're not asking you to take up arms and hunt down these krogan yourselves, but you can at least keep both sides from doing something that makes this worse."

"I don't know about that," Shepard said. "The Krogan and the Salarians have been at each others' throats for so long, it almost seems inevitable that something will happen that makes diplomacy useless. This might be that incident."

"We can't allow all out war," Hallasa said. "The Krogan will use any aggression by the Salarians as an excuse for full scale conflict against everyone else. And since you decided to cure the genophage, they will have the numbers to do what they did during the Rebellions, only worse." The chilly stare from the asari diplomat would have intimidated just about anyone else, and was intimidating Prime Minister Hadad.

It did not intimidate Shepard. "I do not regret my choice. The krogans have maintained peaceful relations with the other races in the galaxy. They have instituted laws limiting the amounts of children they have to keep their population from reaching overbearing levels. They have done everything and more to reward my trust."

"Yet here we are less than twenty years later, facing exactly what the former dalatrass told you all those years ago," Hallasa said. "Maybe twenty years is a long time to your species, but to mine it's a blink of an eye. You may think fifty or one hundred years of peace is a long time, but for my species it's not even a tenth of our life. You acted with zero foresight when you let Mordin Solus cure the genophage!"

"I acted with the foresight to know that without the Krogan, the Reapers would be harvesting your people and mine right now!" Shepard yelled, standing from his chair.

Hallasa and Shepard stared at each other, the tension in the building thick enough to feel, pressing down on them all. A knock on the door broke the stare, and Hadad shouted, "Please come back later, we are quite busy." The knocking persisted, and Hadad nodded towards the door, wanting one of his bodyguards to get rid of whoever was at the door. Shepard sat back down in his chair, forcing himself to calm down. He had known that at some point tensions would reach a breaking point between the Krogan and Salarians, and already he was thinking of how Wrex would react. He wondered if the Urdnot clan leader knew already, and was planning to say something during Maddy's party. A cry of pain caused the former Spectre to jerk his head up, in time to see Hadad's bodyguard fall to the ground, nose bloody and broken. Five soldiers, none of them wearing Alliance gear but rather some unrecognizable armor with no symbols to identify. The first two through the door, both batarians, found and opened fire on the other bodyguard before he could react, riddling him with shots until he slumped dead against the wall. Shepard, running completely on instinct, rushed towards the intruders while Hadad and Hallasa ducked under the large table that dominated the room. He was able to catch the closes of the intruders off guard, grabbing his gun and using the butt to knock the batarian to the ground, but a shot to the leg quickly felled Shepard. Knowing he was beat, the former Spectre dropped the rifle and put his hands up.

* * *

The party was in full swing now, and the separation between the kids and the adults was complete now. Well, except for Jack, Ashley noticed, who remained outside with Maddy and her friends and based on a few moments of reading lips was likely cursing up a storm. It would explain all the giggles and laughter out there.

"It's two o'clock, where is Shepard?" Miranda asked.

"He said he won't be home until around four or five," Ashley told her. "That's when we'll be cutting the cake and opening presents, too." Maddy came in the house for a drink at that same moment, and Ashley immediately noticed the melancholy expression on her face. Ashley excused herself from the group she had been near. "Hey birthday girl! What's with the long face?"

Maddy's smile couldn't have been faker. "Nothing, I'm having a good time."

"You know by now that you can't lie to me. What's the matter?" Ashley saw the glumness in her daughter's eyes, as hard as she tried to hide it. "Come on Maddy, let's get away from everyone else." A few eyes looked their way as Ashley led her daughter to the master bedroom, all of them ignored. Once they reached the bedroom, Ashley sat down on the bed and patted the space next to her. Much to her surprise, Maddy not only took a seat next to her, she leaned her head on Ashley's shoulder. Ashley suddenly felt unsure of what to say. "We're alone now, tell me what's wrong Maddy."

"I'm just not having as good a time as I thought I would be," Maddy said. "That probably sounds really spoiled, but Dad's not here, Carrie's kind of depressed lately, you've been working really hard all day, and while I'm having fun, not everyone else is. This hasn't been as good a party as I hoped it would be."

"The day's not over yet," Ashley said. "You still get to open all those presents these people are spoiling you with, and when you're dad does get home he will liven up anyone who isn't having fun."

Maddy smiled faintly. "He's never missed anything. He's always been there, every birthday, every party, every first day of school. This is weird not having him here for this birthday. Maybe that's just my problem."

"That's life sometimes, sweetie. Your dad is an important man, he has done an amazing job of always being here for you, but he had no choice today. I promise, when he gets home he will make up for the time he spent away from home today. By the time everyone leaves, you'll be thoroughly embarrassed."

Maddy's smile was larger this time. "Especially if he dances."

Mother and daughter laughed loudly, and left the room in much brighter spirits. Maddy rejoined her friends outside, while Ashley began walking over to where Tali and her husband were both making wild gestures while telling some story. She had just joined the group listening to the quarians when her omnitool began beeping. Ashley excused herself, frustrated when she saw who was contacting her. "I thought I told you not to call me today," she said angrily when she answered the call.

* * *

Shepard, Hadad, and Hallasa were all sitting in chairs in the corner of the conference room, while four mercs watched over them, never aiming their guns anywhere but that corner. All of the mercs were of similar height and build, four were human, three were batarian, and the one that appeared to be the leader was an asari. She was talking to three of the humans while the batarians and one human kept watch. None of them appeared to be members of any of the well known mercenary groups, so they were either bold new upstarts or desperate nobodies. They were definitely mercenaries though, and they had already proven themselves extremely dangerous. So far Shepard had said nothing, but decided it was time to change that. "What do you want?" he asked. Simple enough to start with, and based on the answer he could decide whether to keep asking questions or not. "Whatever you are attempting to accomplish here, the people who can make it happen are sitting in front of you.

The answer he received was a rifle butt to the face, followed by a shout of, "Shut up!" The pain now in his cheek helped distract from the pain in the leg where he was shot, but Shepard couldn't say he preferred horrible pain in two spots to unbearable pain in one spot. It was clear he would not be getting any answers from these men. Taking a quick look down at his leg, he was grateful that the mercs had bothered to help stop the bleeding, though that help consisted of wrapping a piece of clothing torn off the shirt of one of Hadad's bodyguards around the wound. All the while, another merc had been holding a pistol to his temple, of course, eliminating any chance for Shepard to make a move.

He couldn't believe this was happening today. He should have just told Hadad and Hallasa to shove it, that they could hold their meeting the next day. Not only was he missing his daughter's birthday, he may never get to see her again. Shepard quickly forced those thoughts away. No two bit mercs were taking him out. If she did not know already, Ash would certainly be finding out what had happened any moment now. A rescue plan would be thought up, that plan would be executed, and hopefully as long as Shepard and the two diplomats in the room with him kept their heads down they would walk away.

Shepard had just finished that thought when Hallasa stood, ignoring the shouts coming her way to sit back down. "What do you want!? Do you know who I am!?" she shouted. "If you hurt a single skin cell on my body, you will be hunted down and made an example of!" Shepard placed a hand on the asari's arm, trying to get her to sit back down, but she shrugged him away. She took a step forward as she continued her verbal assault, the mercs appearing to be dangerously close to shooting her. The leader of the captors was walking over now, her expression hidden by a helmet but the brutality in her eyes telling all one needed to know about her intentions. "I will make sure every single one of you end up dead if you do not release us this instant!" Hallasa continued to shout. The merc leader whispered something to one of the humans, and Hallasa was silenced by a single, cold, efficient gunshot between her eyes.

Hadad began to shake, though to his credit he stayed quiet. Shepard merely stared back, not even moving when some of the dead asari diplomat's blood began soaking his pants. All he could do was shake his head. Why did she just do that? Did she not realize these mercs were serious, and would not hesitate to kill her? Shepard took a deep breath, and buried his own urges to do something stupid.

* * *

Somehow, Ashley was managing to stay calm as she sat outside the building where her husband and Alliance Prime Minister Raheem Hadad were being held captive. Five minutes ago, the body of Nyzeri Hallasa had been unceremoniously dumped in the hallway outside the conference room she had been captive in, only minutes after they had pulled the bodies of three Alliance soldiers out of that same hallway. Ashley had stared wide eyed as the asari was carried out of the base, forcing herself to stay calm. She could not let the possibility of the same thing happening to Shepard invade her thought process. This needed to be handled calmly.

The assault plan had been decided quickly, as there was really very few options to assault the conference room. That assault plan, despite being their best option, was too risky for Ashley's tastes. The demands had been typical. The mercs wanted 50 million credits, and a shuttle to take them away from the base. If their demands were not met within an hour, they would kill a hostage. If two hours passed, they would kill the second hostage as well. Those demands had come nearly twenty minutes ago, leaving them forty minutes to figure a way to neutralize the situation before a second hostage was killed. Ashley had no doubts they would kill Shepard next, as Hadad was the most valuable of the hostages taken. She would not let that happen. She needed to get these mercs out in the open, where there was more room for her men to operate. "Peterson! Are your men armed and ready to move?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am," the sergeant replied. He was to lead the team that would assault the room. Vincent Peterson was probably the best tactical soldier on the planet, even better than Ashley herself if she was being honest.

"Bring them over here. I have a plan, and want your opinions." She waited until Peterson and his squad were gathered around the map of the base displayed in front of her before, and began describing her plan. When she was done, Peterson nodded thoughtfully, cracking his knuckles the way he always did. "Opinions?" Ashley asked.

"Risky, but not as much as assaulting the room. It could go bad if they are smart enough. I think we can catch them off guard though." The rest of Peterson's squad murmured their agreement. "I do have one suggestion, ma'am. Hiding one soldier near the shuttle pad will be obvious, and if one of the mercs sees whoever is there then this plan goes to shit. We should leave the shuttle pad clear, and have whoever you would have put there storm the mercs after the snipers do their job."

"That's too big a risk, someone has to be there if the mercs make a run for the shuttle," Ashley argued. "If the snipers miss, or are spotted first, we need someone close by."

"Ma'am, trust me, my snipers will not be the ones that ruin this plan. Whoever's guarding the hostages will go down quick."

Ashley wanted to continue to argue, but she knew he was making sense. "Fine, we'll keep the shuttle pad clear. Get your men in position, and wait for my signal. I need to go make this happen."

The shuttle was in position forty five minutes later, the mercs had been informed, and they had been promised that the credits would be wired to the provided account minutes after the shuttle left. Somehow, the mercs had bought it, and now it was a matter of letting the plan play out. Ashley hoped Shepard would be okay. She hoped this wouldn't end in slaughter. Above everything except her husband's safety, she hoped Maddy was handling this well. By now this incident would be breaking news. Anna and Jennifer were still young enough to believe the reassurances that daddy would be okay, that he would walk through the front door with a smile, like always. They wouldn't understand the actual danger. Those days had passed a long time ago for Maddy. When Ashley had left the house, somehow able to hide the worry she felt and leave without saying what was happening, Maddy was happily talking with her friends. She could only hope all of the guests at the Shepard home could comfort her daughter now.

Ten minutes passed before Peterson's voice came over Ashley's omnitool, saying, "In position, awaiting orders."

"Good work, soldier. Standby."

* * *

Shepard limped heavily as he was pushed along the hallway, completely confused as to why they had left the conference room. His hands were tied behind his back. A gun was pressed to his head, belonging to the merc leader herself, while two of the batarians pushed Hadad along, his hands tied behind his back as well. The smell of urine made it known that the Prime Minister had soiled himself in fear, as if the still constant shaking didn't show that already. They would stop at every set of doors, and the other four mercs would go ahead, making sure every hallway was safe to pass through. When they gave the okay, only then would Shepard and Hadad continue being pushed along.

Fifteen minutes after they had left the conference room, they were outside, the sudden shock of natural sunlight making Shepard squint furiously. Why were they outside? Where were these mercs taking them? Had their demands actually been met? Shepard stopped a few feet after stepping outside, ignoring the pushes from the asari behind him, until a hard shove nearly made him fall over. He managed to steady himself before he fell, pain shooting through his leg. He turned to glare at the merc leader, but kept limping along.

Hadad had begun to beg up ahead."I'm the Alliance Prime Minister, I can tell whatever officer is in charge to give you whatever you need." Hadad said. Shepard struggled to keep quiet and not tell the Prime Minister to shut up. Clearly they had gotten what they wanted, if they were walking towards a freaking shuttle. "I promise, let us go and you will receive whatever it is you want."

"We already have what we want, and we need you two to make sure we don't get fucked over," the merc leader said. Hasad opened his mouth to speak again, and was shoved to the ground. "Talk again, and I tell my men to shoot you like they did Shepard. Talk after that, you get what the asari did. Shut up."

Upon reaching the shuttle, the mercs began scouring over every inch, looking for a bomb or tracking device or anything they thought was suspicious. Shepard began looking around, not believing that the Alliance, and Ashley in particular, would have given in to these mercs' demands. As he looked back, he noticed two shapes that did not belong on the roof of the armory to his left. Ahead, on the roof of the building they had just exited, he saw another two shapes he knew did not belong. To anyone that had not spent enough time on the base, those faint silhouettes would not appear suspicious at all. Shepard knew right then what the plan was.

The first shot was a direct hit to the side of the head of one of the batarians guarding the Prime Minister. Shepard immediately let himself fall to the ground, unfortunately he did so in a clumsy manner and landed on his wounded leg, groaning in pain. The next two shots were also right on target, dropping the merc leader onto the ground next to Shepard and the second batarian guarding Hadad into the shuttle with a loud thud. The others immediately reached for Hadad, who stood there frozen in fear, but Shepard managed to crawl close enough to the Prime Minister to grab a hold of his legs and pull him off his feet. Three more soldiers had already began running forward at this point, and with both Shepard and Hadad on the ground they opened fire on the rest of the mercs. Shepard maneuvered his body so he was acting as a shield between Hadad and any shots that might come his way. How long he stayed that way, he couldn't be sure, but when the gunfire finally stopped, the first thing he saw were three Alliance soldiers standing over him. "Good work, soldiers," he told them, happy to see the nods and grins he received in return.

* * *

Maddy had heard every type of reassurance one could possibly hear by this point. Three hours had passed since her mom had hurried from the house, and in that time everyone had tried at least once to convince her that everything would be okay, she had nothing to worry about. Many had tried more than once. Samantha Traynor had made the most attempts, four times now, every single try a rambling, near incoherent jumble of words that entered one ear and left the other.

None of the reporters at the Alliance base had any specifics of what was happening, no idea how many kidnappers there were, no idea if her dad was okay or not, they just kept repeating the same crap over and over about her dad and the other two hostages. Maddy was trying to stay positive, but all she could think of was the possibility that she would never see her dad again. She thought back to what she had told her mother about her dad missing her birthday, and felt a crushing guilt inside. While she was being a spoiled brat, complaining about her dad being gone when he had been in danger. A sudden illness hit her, and she rushed to the bathroom, ignoring the shouts of concern from the others in the living room with her. Even after emptying the contents of her stomach in the toilet, she did not feel any better. "Maddy, are you okay?" a voice asked, and the girl saw her Aunt Sarah kneel next to her.

"No Aunt Sarah, I'm not okay at all. My dad is being held captive, my mom is trying to free him, and I might never get to see either of them ever again." She was sad, she was angry, she was frightened, she wanted to hide from everyone, she wanted to yell at them. Somehow, Maddy managed not to curse at her aunt, even though it was overwhelmingly the thing she wanted to do most. Her aunt must have realized it, as she said nothing else, and walked away, stopping a couple of others from entering the bathroom in her place.

Maddy felt no better an hour later. She was in her room, sitting on her bed. She heard the front door open, and the cheers. Anna and Jennifer both yelled, "Mommy! Daddy!" Maddy rushed out of her room. There they both were, looking as if they had returned from a date or something, completely calm. Maddy ran to her father, rudely pushing Jennifer away. She slammed into him with a full head of steam, wrapping her arms around her father's stomach and burying her head in his chest. It wasn't until she heard the groan of pain from her father that she noticed the crutches, and the bandage around her father's leg. "Oh my God, are you going to be okay dad?" she asked frantically.

Shepard kissed Maddy on the top of her head. "I'll be fine, I don't even need the crutches, your mom just insisted I use them." Maddy stifled a laugh when her mother glared at him. The tears came then, though they were of happiness and relief this time. She felt her dad's arms wrap around her, and finally she smiled.

Despite the fact that the party had gone on almost all day, it was rescheduled for three days later, so Maddy could have a proper celebration. Everyone had been gone for two hours now, but the girls had not left Shepard and Ashley's side ever since they walked through the door. They were all in the backyard, relaxing in chairs, well, Shepard, Ashley, and Maddy were anyway. Anna and Jennifer were running around, playing some game understandable only to them. Shepard was watching them, while Ashley was talking about everything the guests at the party had been telling her all day.

Shepard noticed Maddy was saying nothing, which needless to say was very strange for the talkative girl. "Uh oh, Ash, I think Maddy's gone mute. Just in time, I don't think I could have handled three girls blabbing nonstop." When his daughter did not laugh at the joke, Shepard's face became serious. "What's wrong?"

The look Maddy gave him couldn't have been crueler. "What's wrong? Are you freaking kidding me? How are you and mom sitting here acting like nothing happened today?"

"Maddy, I know this wasn't the best birthday, but…"

"I don't care about that!" Maddy shouted. "I don't care about my birthday! Dad, what if something had happened to you!?"

"Nothing did happen, sweetie, I'm fine." Shepard placed a hand on Maddy's shoulder.

"And I'm supposed to just forget that you could have been killed because it didn't happen?" she asked angrily.

Anna and Jennifer stopped their game, staring at their sister. "Maddy, calm down, you're scaring your sisters," Shepard said coldly.

Maddy glared at him for a few moments, before storming into the house. "I'll handle this," Ashley said, standing from her chair.

"No, Ash, sit down, I'll talk to her." Shepard kissed his wife on the cheek, and grabbed his crutches, heading for Maddy's room. He could hear her crying before he got there, and found her sitting on the ground near her desk, head buried in her arms. It was not until that point that Shepard realized the danger he faced that day had struck his daughter hard. Thinking about it, he realized that he had never been in any real danger since that night in the hotel room, so many years ago. Despite their professions, Maddy had never really had to deal with her parents being in danger, not like that day. He had been retired for a long time now, and Ash rarely ever had to leave the planet, and never to fight. "Can I join you?" Shepard asked politely.

Maddy nodded. "I'm not going to apologize," she said defiantly.

"I don't want you to. I didn't realize how scared you were today." Shepard put one arm around the girl. "I've dealt with situations like today my entire life. I've never had a family home to worry about me. It never even crossed my mind how today might effect you."

"Well, that's bullshit dad," Maddy said. Shepard ignored the language. "What if you had died today? What if mom had died trying to save you? This was horrible, dad. It was like that night those guys came for you on the Citadel when I was a little girl. It felt like I was back in that closet, waiting to see you and mom again, only it lasted for hours."

"I'm so sorry," Shepard said.

Maddy hugged him, much the same way she had when he came home earlier that day. "I love you, dad. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"That's why I left the Alliance all those years ago," Shepard said. "I didn't want anything to happen to me either. I wanted to be here for you every day, every step of the way. I didn't want you to be here worrying about me while I was away on some dangerous mission. I can't possibly apologize enough for what happened today."

"I know it's not your fault. I'm still freaked out, but I'll get over it." Maddy continued hugging her father, a smile on her face for the first time in hours. Knowing her father had left the Alliance for her was enough for now.

"That's my girl."

* * *

"Oh my god, this is so awesome!" Maddy exclaimed, reading the description on the box in her hands.

Ashley smiled. "Not only is that omnitool built specifically for entertainment purposes, it is this year's model, so there shouldn't be a damn thing anyone else's model can do that your's cannot."

"Thank you SO much!" Maddy yelled, hugging her parents as tightly as she could.

"You're welcome. We have one more present, but I have to admit that this isn't just for you Maddy." Shepard nodded to Garrus, who left for the backyard. "I hope you don't mind sharing this gift with your sisters."

Maddy was definitely curious now, that was very obvious. "What is it?"

"Yeah, what is it?" both Anna and Jennifer asked. Shepard and Ashley both smiled, leading their daughters and everyone else in the house out to the backyard. Maddy, Anna, and Jennifer pushed their way past their parents, which unfortunately hid their expressions when they saw their present, and heard it bark. Their happy gasps were very easy to hear. "Doggy!" Anna screamed.

"Puppy!" Jennifer screamed after her.

"Oh my god, awesome!" Maddy yelled.

Everyone else watched as the girls ran over to the dog, which Garrus let go of. It was a small dog, a two year old dog without an owner they rescued from a shelter. They did not know the breed, and neither did the people that owned the shelter. It had short, brown fur, big ears, and a tail that curled upwards, which didn't sound right to describe yet made the dog irresistibly cute. "How did we wait this long to get a dog?" Shepard asked his wife.

"I don't know," she answered. "I was just about to ask the same thing. I guess because we had our hands full enough with Maddy when she was growing up, and we couldn't have a dog in the house when the twins were younger. I guess this was just the perfect time. They seem happy." Ashley smiled as she watched her daughters run around after the dog, who had a small red ball in his mouth. "What do you want to name him?" she shouted.

The girls broke off their chase, huddling together. They stayed that way for three minutes, before Maddy stood up, excited nods from the twins suggesting they had agreed on a name. "Rex, we want his name to be Rex!"

A low chuckle came from behind, and Shepard barely contained his own laughter. "I don't know if I should be flattered or angry," Wrex said, shaking his head. "I'll just assume that is supposed to be a show of affection."

* * *

**Fluffy ending! I'm sure at least some of you were thinking I'd go somewhere bad with it. The incident that prompted Shepard's meeting was serious, and will come back into play later on. As soon as I can think of what exactly I want that incident to be (just kidding, I already know.) I'm thinking I want to make the next chapter a flashback. Review sand comments are welcome as always.**


	14. VIP

Ashley strolled down the hallway, one foot after another, hoping that he attempts to stay calm and confident were working. Inside, she was furious. She wanted to walk into the interrogation room, draw her pistol, and shoot this piece of shit between his eyes. When the call came, during dinner with her family, she had swallowed hard, listening intently, silently, trying hard not to shake with rage. It had not come as a surprise, of course. There was no chance, even on as insignificant a base as the one at Amaterasu, that the mercs had infiltrated the base without inside help. The thought still made Ashley boil with rage, just the idea that someone she knew, someone she trusted with her safety, someone that had vowed to serve the Alliance, would have helped those mercenaries. A hundred different ways to kill this traitor ran through her head, all of them bringing a faint smile to Ashley's lips that she was glad none of her men could see. She needed to rid herself of such anger. It would not serve her right now. Right now was the time to be calm, and figure out everything she could. Anger could come if the son of a bitch resisted.

Private Walter Kirk was sitting in a chair in the middle of an otherwise empty room, wrists handcuffed behind the chair, ankles tied to the chair. Exactly how Ashley had wanted him. Kirk had always been quiet, but loyal. He had been assigned to the base at Amaterasu just short of two years ago, and had fulfilled his duties admirably in that time. There had been a few questionable incidents with the law a couple of years before he joined the Alliance, and some incident of which the record had been expunged, but nothing worrisome. Many soldiers had incidents early in their life that led them to the Alliance, and Ashley had never judged any of her fellow soldiers because of past scrapes with the law. Kirk's involvement had come as a complete surprise.

The restrained soldier did not look up from the ground as Ashley approached. She grabbed his chin with one hand and forced the soldier to look up, and saw the shame and fear in his eyes. At the back of the room, the base's interrogation specialist was waiting calmly, and Ashley nodded towards him. For that brief moment she wished she could have called in one of the Alliance's other "specialists" to do a number on Kirk. Never before now had she acknowledged or supported some of the things she knew happened in Alliance interrogation rooms, but right now she was willing to do such things herself.

The interrogator, Corporal Louis Caballero, strode forward with all the confidence and terrifying calm Ashley had been trying to project. Kirk began to shake in the chair, breathing heavily. "Why?" Caballero asked.

"Why what?" Kirk managed to choke out.

"We have the records of the phone calls, and we saw the footage on the camera you forgot to disable. Don't bother with denials. The only thing that will keep you from dying at the hands of a firing squad is if you cooperate. I'll ask again, why?"

Kirk bowed his head, staring at the ground once again. "I didn't have a choice. They were going to ruin me if I didn't help."

"Who?" Caballero was still remarkably calm.

"I don't know who, they weren't stupid. They didn't shake my hand and introduce themselves. I went home two months ago, two men were waiting inside my apartment, they threatened to expose…" Kirk stopped, retreating within himself.

"It's not important at the moment what they know about you," Ashley said, interjecting herself. "Did you recognize either of the men at your apartment? Was there any hint whatsoever about who they might be working for? Did they mention anything at all that might be remotely important?"

"No. They told me what they knew, told me what they needed me to do, and made it clear that if I did not cooperate they would ruin my life. They were dressed in ordinary clothing that any civilian might wear. I could identify them if I saw them, but what are the chances they are anywhere on this planet, let alone within the colony?"

Ashley pulled Caballero into a corner of the room, behind Kirk so they would be out of sight as well as out of the prisoner's hearing. "Have him go over the entire incident, at least three times. Listen for any inconsistencies, and pressure him if he messes up." The interrogator nodded.

After four times telling his story, Caballero looked Ashley's way. She could only stare back in frustration. The son of a bitch was definitely telling the truth, that or he was incredibly practiced at his story. Not one detail had been inconsistent in any of the four times he told what happened. "Take him back to his cell," she ordered, leaving the room as Kirk's restraints were being removed so he was not restricted to the chair. It was so hard not to beat the traitor until he talked, and then keep beating him until he could never walk, talk, or do anything other than the most necessary bodily functions ever again.

Her home life was the only thing that cheered Ashley up over the past few days, and even then she was constantly reminded of what might have happened. Security had been placed around Shepard and their children at the insistence of the Alliance, a constant present that kept home from truly feeling like home. Maddy came home furious every day at her lack of privacy and inability to simply go somewhere and hang out with her friends. Shepard was highly insulted by the idea that he could not defend himself and his family, and barely managed to be polite towards the poor soldiers tasked with their protection. Ashley didn't like it either, but she understood, and treated the soldiers with respect. She doubted they really wanted to be around her family all hours of the day either.

The house was surprisingly happy when she arrived home late that evening. Shepard, Maddy and Jennifer were playing with Rex, throwing a chew toy around, Anna was focused on something in the corner of the fence, crouched and staring intently. Shepard was the first to notice Ashley, blowing a kiss towards her. Jennifer noticed and ran over to her mother, while Maddy lazily strolled over, both girls hugging her when they arrived. Anna did not notice Ashley's arrival until Jennifer began practically yelling everything that happened to her that day, but she made up for it by running as fast as she could and slamming into her mother in order to hug her. Ashley could not have asked for a better welcome home after the day she had.

Shepard continuously peeked over at the Alliance soldier standing nearby, mouth set in a hard frown as he chewed his food. A hand smacked his arm, bringing his attention to its source, where Ashley stared sternly at him. No words were needed from either, Shepard absolutely hated that protection had been assigned to his family and there was nothing anyone would tell him that would change his mind. He had tried explaining that the kidnappers' goal had not been his death, that the likelihood of anyone coming anywhere near him or his family were no higher than any other time in his life, but the brass had refused to listen. And so here he was at the dinner table in his own home, sneaking angry peeks at the poor soldiers just doing their jobs.

Maddy excused herself after only a few bites, not waiting for permission before leaving the table. Ashley shouted after her, and Maddy rolled her eyes as she turned around. Surprisingly, Ashley ignored that. "You need to eat more, you hardly ever seem to eat these days."

"I'm not hungry. Besides, I've been putting off going to a movie with Carrie and a couple of friends, and I promised I would go tonight."

Shepard exchanged a quick glance with his wife, knowing the argument that was coming and wishing there weren't half a dozen strangers in and around the house that would hear it. "Maddy, you know you can't leave the house at night. You can go to the movies this weekend, catch a showing during the day."

As expected, Maddy narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips angrily, and crossed her arms tightly. "This is bullshit, I want to out with my friends."

"Maddy, watch your language around your sisters," Ashley said, voice calm. "This won't be for much longer, but until the investigation is over and the Alliance brass are satisfied that this incident has been fully resolved, we all have to live with it."

Good, just keep treating her with respect, Shepard thought. "None of us like being told we can't do something, Maddy, but we don't have much choice," he chimed in.

Maddy shook her head, her anger still boiling beneath he surface but somewhat contained. "You know, for the first time I wish I wasn't John Shepard's daughter," she said coldly. The words sunk into Shepard like a knife, slicing under his skin. He averted his eyes from his daughter, catching Ashley's wide eyed shock. Maddy's face became vulnerable, suggesting she regretted her words, but she walked away, the door to her room closing moments later.

* * *

Shepard and Ashley both agreed to leave their daughter alone for the rest of the night, though the words never left the former Spectre's mind. It had always been a fear of his, that his fame would be a burden on his children. Maddy had been facing those expectations for years now, hearing them from teachers, students, friends, neighbors, even random people on the street would sometimes stop them and talk about how much an honor it must be to be Shepard's daughter. He couldn't possibly be angry at her for saying what she said, but he couldn't help but feel sorrow.

The next morning, as had been the routine for days now, two soldiers accompanied Maddy to school, one driving and one in the front passenger seat, while Shepard and Maddy sat in the backseats. With the bodyguards there it was kind of pointless for Shepard to go, but it was a routine he had been fulfilling for years, and just because he wasn't personally driving her wasn't going to stop him from accompanying his daughter to school. The ride was quiet, Maddy refusing to make eye contact out of embarrassment and shame. After Maddy had left the car with one of the soldiers in tow, walking into her school building, Shepard was driven home. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, sir," the soldier driving the car said. "I hope you understand I'm simply doing my job. It is not my intent to make the lives of you or your family any worse."

"I know that, um, Neil, right?" The soldier nodded, a ghost of a smile appearing for a moment. "I know I'm treating you and the others like shit, but I'm sure you can understand how inconvenient and insulting this is. I've gotten along for years without any security assigned to me."

"We will be gone soon enough, Mr. Shepard. With the inside man in custody, it will be a matter of days before we either find whoever set those animals loose, or we can guarantee you're family will be safe moving forward. Either way, we should only be around for four or five more days."

Shepard looked out the window, unbelieving. "We'll see about that."

The media had not been outside the Shepard home when the car left that morning, but they were there when he came back, immediately crowding around the car Shepard arrived in. Two bodyguards left the house to help the one that had driven the car clear the way as Shepard eased out of the car, still with a slight limp from the gunshot he had received to his leg. He didn't need the crutches anymore, but he was still far from normal mobility. He followed the path his security created, ignoring the questions being shouted his way. It did not escape the former Spectre's notice that the overwhelming majority of reporters he saw were not local to Amaterasu. Local reporters had learned very quickly years ago that Shepard and Ashley were never going to give them quotes, and did not appreciate media attention. These reporters obviously did not know or care, the kidnapping was among the biggest news in the galaxy and every human news organization in existence had been fishing for quotes since the day it happened.

When he finally got inside the house, Shepard exhaled loudly. Ashley had already left for the day, taking two of their security with here and leaving four at the house with Shepard. Rex had sprinted from the spot where he had been laying near the couch, nearly jumping up at Shepard before the training he had been receiving kicked in. Another uneventful day at home had begun. It could not make him much angrier at this point, after four days. He limped to the twins' bedroom, both awake and playing with dolls. Ashley had definitely taken the time to pick out their clothing that day and do their hair that day, a duty she liked to perform whenever she could. Both twins were dressed in little Alliance blue dresses, the only difference in their clothing being the different colors of the tight pants they wore under the dress, pink for Anna and white for Jennifer. Anna's hair was loose, while Jennifer's was in a ponytail. The difference between Shepard's twin daughters and his older one still surprised him, somehow the twins had ended up much more like stereotypical girly girls than Maddy had. Not that he was complaining, or that Maddy wasn't girly, but she had also been so mature. Anna and Jennifer were borderline spoiled little brats sometimes. Maybe pre-school would humble them when they began later that year.

They were engrossed deeply in their playtime, not noticing their father until he took a step in the room. "Hi daddy," Jennifer greeted. "Do you wanna play with us?"

Shepard smiled and walked over to his daughters. "What are you doing?"

Anna's smile was ear to ear. "Tea Party!"

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed one of the soldiers walk by, peeking inside the room. "Sure, why not?" The twins both squealed, handing Shepard some empty little plastic tea cup and putting the small table on the ground in front of them, stuffed animals and dolls sitting alongside him.

Shepard had been sitting at the table with his daughters for twenty minutes, doing the best he could not to show his boredom, when one of the soldiers lightly knocked on the door. "Mr. Shepard, your computer console in your room is beeping," the soldier said. Shepard struggled to remember his name.

"Thank you," he said, standing. "Sorry, girls, daddy has to leave." The girls nodded and went back to their pretend tea. Shepard decided he would let them each have one of the cupcakes he had the soldiers buy when they went shopping for him two days ago, something to go with their imaginary tea. Yet another of the trivial, every day tasks he was not allowed to do on his own at the moment. He walked to his room, pressed the appropriate keys, and watched as Garrus's face popped up on the screen. "Hey there, you ugly son of a bitch," Shepard greeted, smiling.

"I wouldn't talk, Shepard. I'm not the one with baggy eyes, limping around my house like a cripple," Garrus teased back.

"And how, pal. It sucks to have people you aren't related to or friends with always in your house, watching everything you do. I probably shouldn't act like such a jerk, but this is driving me crazy. How are you doing?"

"Oh, you know. Dealing with politicians for half my day, training a bunch of younger turians to be just like me for the other half, and coming home to my beautiful mansion with just enough strength left to eat dinner and collapse in bed."

"That busy, huh?"

Garrus nodded grimly. "I'm not that far down the Hierarchy these days, and with the honor and prestige comes the work and responsibility. Of course, you know that as well as anyone."

"Used to, anyway," Shepard joked. "I've been a stay home dad for a long time now."

"Yet you still manage to be important enough to be taken hostage."

Shepard smirked, realizing Garrus had a pretty good point. "I guess you're right. Big difference in me being a stay home dad and anyone else doing the same. Hopefully you'll actually get to be a stay at home dad one day, pal."

"I'll never have a reason to be a stay home dad, Shepard," Garrus said with a laugh. "If I were to ever do so, it would be now, when my boy is only a year and a half old. By the time I'm ready to retire, he'll be a grown man earning his stripes in the military. If I ever actually end up retiring."

"How is Augustus?"

"Fine, I guess," Garrus said, voice unsure. "I'll be honest, I can't pretend I know much about being a father and I'm certainly not around him as much as I would like. I try to make what time I can, but like most Turian boys he will have to grow up knowing that duty comes first for his father." Shepard nodded, holding back any comments he might have on such an attitude. He had spent enough time around Garrus to know that Turian society was not the same, and he knew his friend would try to be the best father he could be. "How did we even end up talking about this?" Garrus asked. "I called for a reason. Has the Alliance investigation turned up anything as far as who was responsible for the incident on Amaterasu?"

Shepard shrugged. "They caught the inside man, who made it possible for them to get anywhere near the Prime Minister and myself. Ashley said the guy is claiming to know nothing and that she believes him. Why?"

Garrus hesitated before speaking. "I may have heard something interesting. One of our scout patrols followed a ship that landed on one of our colonies out to a remote world in a the Minos Wasteland. It was a pirate ship, and the world was home to a decent sized, well armed group of about thirty. Our patrol took them out and found a data pad that mentioned the kidnapping. It mentioned a few names, and while I don't recognize any of them I figured maybe the Alliance would know them. Should I go ahead and forward it to Alliance command?'

"Absolutely," Shepard said happily. "Damn Garrus, thanks a lot. That's great news."

Garrus grinned cockily. "Yeah, no matter how many years pass you still need my help to get you out of these jams. Nothing ever changes, Shepard."

* * *

Maddy walked with her head down as she walked out the front door of her school. Just like every other day, she had heard the whispers from people in the hall as she walked by. Some taunted, some sympathized. Everyone, even the teachers, stared at her and the soldier that never left her side. Even Carrie was intimidated around her. The entire situation was beginning to strain her to a breaking point. Every look, every whisper, they were driving her to a point where she wanted to scream at them, tell them to leave her alone. A girl in her English class had whispered that Maddy was an entitled bitch, and only one of her friend's hands on her shoulder had stopped her from punching that girl.

Hearing about her father from strangers was not something new, but the kidnapping was easily the most important event that had happened at the colony since it was founded. The Alliance Prime Minister and the Savior of the Galaxy had been held hostage, and opinions were on everyone's lips. Hearing them now, Maddy was sure they had been doing this for years, but now they weren't bothering to keep quiet around her. Other kids that she had known for years were suddenly treating her differently. Still, as angry as she was, she had spent all day regretting what she had said the previous night to her dad. He had never been anything less than the most loving, caring, loyal father he could be. It was not his fault that others were so insecure and jealous that they had to talk about his daughter behind his and her back. Neither of her parents had said anything to her the rest of that night, or this morning, and she had been too ashamed to apologize. She hadn't meant to hurt her dad, or make him angry, it just came out.

The car was waiting for her, as always, and she got into the backseat, freezing for a moment when she saw her dad sitting there, as always. "Hey, sweetheart, how was your day?" he asked, as if nothing was the least bit wrong.

"Fine," she mumbled, closing the door behind her and watching as her security entered the car as well.

"Just fine? Anything particularly exciting happen today?"

"No," she mumbled, looking at her father out of the corner of her eye. Why was he acting like she never said what she said?

He must have gotten the hint out from her body language, as he didn't say anything else during the ride home. When they got home, having to follow as the Alliance soldiers pushed past the media and cleared a path for them, she began to hurry to her room when her father asked her to wait. She did as told, and then followed when she was told to. They ended up in her room anyway. "I guess we do need to talk about what you said last night, huh?" he said. Maddy immediately looked out the window. "I'm not mad at you. I know you didn't mean it."

Maddy exhaled loudly. "I really didn't, dad, I promise. I was such a bitch to say that to you. I've just been having a rough few days and it has worn on my nerves."

Shepard placed an arm around her shoulders. "I know that. Don't worry about it. Have you really been getting it that bad at school?"

"From everyone," Maddy told him. "Kids, teachers, everyone. It sucks. That's not your fault though, so I shouldn't have said it."

"Kid, you are entitled to saying something stupid every once in a while. Lord knows I'll need the practice for when Anna and Jennifer grow up. Maybe you should act like a brat more often to give me some practice." Maddy laughed. Her younger sisters were definitely annoying little girls sometimes. She loved them to death, but it was the truth. "Glad to hear you laugh. It's been a while. So can we just forget this ever happened, and unite in our dislike for not being able to go anywhere or do anything?"

Maddy hugged her father. "Deal."

"Good," Shepard said. "Besides, Garrus called with a possible lead. Things will hopefully be back to normal in the next couple of days. Come on, let's go save Rex from your sisters."

* * *

**Reaction last chapter was mixed, but hopefully I made up for it with this chapter. The impact of Shepard's fame on his daughter hasn't been mentioned much, so it's about time I dedicated a chapter to it. And yep, Anna and Jennifer are going to be real brats as they grow up, to make up for Maddy's maturity. Ashley was very dark in that opening part which some of you may not like, but she comes from a family that was blacklisted for being "traitors" and I think because of that she would hold real scorn towards actual traitors.**

**I'm probably going to end this, or at least take a decent break, after the next few chapters. Maddy will be 18 soon, and ready to begin her adult life, and that was the initial goal of this story, though there are two more daughters now.**


	15. Much Needed Vacation

It always amazed Shepard how much of Tuchanka had been rebuilt since the Reaper Wars ended. Those rebuilding efforts had played a large part in keeping the Krogan from expanding too aggressively, along with the leadership Wrex and Bakara had displayed. Shepard never would have though the incredibly violent, apathetic alien he met on the Citadel so many years ago would be capable of being arguably the best government head in the galaxy. Of course, Bakara likely deserved much of the credit as well. As Shepard, Ashley, and their children walked away from the ship they had taken to the planet, an Alliance ship of course since Alliance leaders would not let them leave Amaterasu any other way, Shepard noticed many different species around. Asari were working at the check in counters, a few turians were sprinkled among the security, he even saw a quarian among the salarians loading luggage and checking systems.

The sight of the salarians brought Shepard back to reality, a reality that he had lied to the girls about, saying their trip to Tuchanka was just to get away from home and visit Wrex. With a full month having passed since Shepard was taken hostage, and the security around them having been dismissed for a week and a half, the former Spectre could no longer put off the trip he had been asked to take the day he met with Prime Minister Hadad and Nyzeri Hallasa. It would still be a great opportunity to get away from home and forget all the stress of the last month, and Maddy in particular had been ecstatic when she was told they were taking a trip. She always had loved vacations that involved visiting former crew members on the Normandy.

Wrex's home was a sprawling mansion that dwarfed almost every other building in the capital city of Urdnot, which had come a long way from the minor settlement it had been the first time Shepard saw it. He still found it quite funny that the Krogan had actually made the Urdnot camp their capital, and never bothered to change the name as it grew into a full-scale metropolis. That had to be an ego thing for clan Urdnot, along with a sign of the lack of creativity Krogan had. Wrex's mansion obviously wasn't as tall as most skyscrapers, but it was no shorter than a third the height of the tallest building in the city, and was far wider. The entire property had to cover at least eighty thousand square feet, with the mansion itself covering about sixty or seventy percent of that area. Shepard shuddered at the thought that Wrex would need all this room for his children.

A car was waiting at the front gate to take them the still vast distance to the front door of the mansion. Anna and Jennifer remarked on all the guards as they rode in the car. Shepard couldn't help but smile at the twins' enthusiasm. This was probably the first trip away from home that they would remember when they were older, and he and Ashley both knew it. They had decided that despite the very serious business to be dealt with, they would absolutely make sure their daughters enjoyed themselves. Despite the warlike nature of the Krogan themselves, very few species knew how to have fun like they did, and Tuchanka was filled with potential entertainment for every species. Maddy knew that first hand and had told her younger sisters so for days now.

Wrex was waiting outside when the car stopped, a smile Shepard knew was forced on his face. "Shepards, it is always good to see you!" he bellowed half-heartedly.

"Wrex!" Maddy yelled, sprinting forward to hug him. "It's been too long since I've gotten to visit you here. Jesus, has your house gotten bigger?"

"Of course, where else would my children's children go?"

"Wrex, your children are too young to have their own children," Ashley said.

"They won't be young forever," Wrex responded. "I see the twins are still scared of me." Shepard smiled, looking down at the two young girls standing at his side. Anna and Jennifer had only seen Wrex three times, and never really interacted with him besides polite greetings. Their reluctance around him was expected, and would soon disappear. Wrex was too damn friendly around children for them to stay frightened of him. "How do you tell them apart? I bet all they would have to do is switch the ribbons in their hair and their shoes and no one would know which is which."

The two girls giggled, and Shepard immediately dreaded the possibility that the idea was in their heads now. Ashley's expression suggested she was having the same fears. Anna was the first to walk over to join Wrex and Maddy, Jennifer of course close behind. For some reason, seeing his three daughters standing near each other, Shepard took a good look at the twins. He never realized before how much they looked like him. Where Maddy's major features were almost exclusively taken from her mother, to the point that he could see nothing of himself in her, Anna and Jennifer took a variety of features from both their parents. That made him happier than he would have thought before he noticed it.

While Wrex had one of his sons show Ashley and the girls to their rooms where they would be staying for the next week, Wrex led Shepard to one of the three large living rooms. It had been built for krogans, that much was certain. Shepard felt like a child in the chair where he sat, his feet unable to even touch the ground. The amused grin on Wrex's face only made Shepard feel smaller. "Go ahead, I know you're dying to spout off about everything bothering you right now," the former Spectre said.

"Gladly," Wrex said, throwing a data pad to his friend. "Right there are the photos proving that Salarian STG agents were behind the bombing here on Tuchanka more than a month ago. My scouts checked the area, but other than those who died, there was nothing there worth bombing."

"Why would those civilians have been worth bombing?" Shepard asked.

"They are krogan. Every krogan is worth bombing to those bastards." That was no joke, Shepard could see. Wrex truly believed that. "I have been trying to keep my people calm, but damn it Shepard this isn't right. I want blood. I have done everything I could to prove to the salarians that the Krogan are interested in peace, and these bastards keep spitting in our damn face! This time they went too far, and if justice is not served I cannot guarantee I can keep my people under control. You have already seen that I cannot keep everyone from seeking vengeance."

"You have to Wrex," Shepard pleaded. "You are more than capable of keeping the rest of the Krogan from doing something stupid. The dalatrass was just as angry as you about the Krogan that attacked that STG ship."

"You misunderstand, Shepard. I'm not sure I will want to hold them back. If the Council does not act, I will be the one leading the charge."

Shepard struggled not to shudder. The Urdnot clan leader did not make empty threats. He meant every word of what he just said. "Wrex, I cannot sanction open war on the Salarians, and neither can the rest of the galaxy. If you strike first, everyone else will strike back, hard."

"I don't want war either. But I need blood. I will settle for nothing less than justice for every krogan that died in that bombing."

* * *

Anna and Jennifer were pulling at their mother's hands, trying to make her either let go of them or walk faster. Ashley just kept pulling them back. She had to make sure they knew she could be more stubborn than they were. Half the battle with kids seemed to be proving you would not give into them. Besides, the amusement park was packed, and Ashley could not risk her still little girls getting lost. Their security may have been gone for a while now, but the Alliance officer was still very aware of her family's safety. Maddy was walking with them, having given up on actually escorting one of her sisters herself. She had tried, and given up about fifteen minutes earlier.

Despite everything that needed her attention at the moment, Ashley's thoughts continuously shifted to the business Shepard had with Wrex. The only thing that had kept her from insisting she go along with her husband was his friendship with the Krogan leader. The only way any harm would befall Shepard was if he brought it on himself. Besides that worry, she was also hoping he would be able to join them before the amusement park closed. This was supposed to be a family vacation, after all. Right on cue, Anna yanked on Ashley's hand and asked, "Mommy, when is daddy going to get here?"

Ashley smiled brightly at her daughter. "Soon, honey. He may even be here right now, trying to find us. There are a lot of people here, it might take some time."

Anna nodded. "Okay. Can we get some candy?"

Checking the time on her omnitool, which was hard to do while at the same time keeping a hold of both the twin girls, she saw it was just about lunch time. "Sure, but only if you eat your lunch. Let's go see what they have to eat around here."

Surprisingly, or maybe it shouldn't have been at that point, the food was great, varied, and, most importantly in Ashley's mind, healthy. They ended up eating inside of a café that served mainly human food. The street the café was located on was home to nothing but cafes specifically aimed towards different species. Maddy had tried to argue for the asari café, but Ashley could not stomach most asari food, and did not want Anna and Jennifer throwing a fit if they didn't like the food either. The second complaint ended up not mattering as Anna and Jennifer spent the entire lunch pouting when Ashley ordered small fruit smoothies to go with salads. They stopped pouting when Ashley bought cotton candy for all of her daughters. She couldn't stomach the stuff, personally.

After lunch was eaten and allowed to settle, it was back to the rides. Maddy rode a rollercoaster, while Ashley brought the twins to the smaller, kid friendly equivalent. Afterwards, they all rode bumper cars together. A Krogan house of horrors got screams of fright from all of them, and made Ashley very glad she did not have to deal with the monsters native to Tuchanka. A few more rides, a near vomiting from Maddy and Jennifer on separate rides, and two more hours passed before Ashley next had an opportunity to check the time. The amusement park would be closing in an hour and a half and Shepard had still not arrived. Ashley was thinking of trying to call her husband when a scream she immediately recognized as coming from her eldest daughter made her react. She turned and took a step, the scream turning to giggling laughter. It wasn't until after Ashley's smile came to her face that she realized she had been holding her breath. "Christ, skipper, you scared the hell out of me!" she shouted, watching as Maddy pushed her father away.

Shepard crouched to welcome Anna and Jennifer as they ran his way. "I know. That's why I did it. How has everyone's day been so far?"

"Really fun, daddy!" Anna said, immediate agreement coming from Jennifer.

"Dad, you would not believe how many rides there are!" Maddy said excitedly. "This place makes every amusement park at home look like crap. I can't believe everything there is to do!"

"I know, that's why we came here for our vacation," Shepard said. "Sorry I couldn't come earlier."

"That's okay, skipper," Ashley said, her eyes asking the question she wasn't voicing. How had the meeting gone?"

Shepard smiled warmly at her, eliminating her fears. "Well, we have about an hour and a half to go. Let's make the most of it!" The former Spectre lifted Jennifer in his arms and grabbed Anna's hand, while Maddy stayed close to him. Ashley wondered what it was about him that made all of their daughter's such daddy's girls.

Back at their hotel that night, Ashley finally had a chance to get Shepard alone while the girls flipped through the channels on the television. The debate over the rooms had been heated, with the five of them needing two rooms because all of the rooms big enough for all of them were booked. Shepard had been furious when Ashley told him this on the way to the hotel from the amusement park, wanting to drop his name to pressure the hotel into "finding" a room big enough for all of them, but Ashley had talked him out of it. They didn't need that attention. This led to the question of who slept where, and that had taken nearly twenty minutes. Maddy and the twins had clearly been working on a persuasive argument all day as to why they should get their own room together, and Ashley had to admit that if even one more week had passed since the Alliance bodyguards had left, she would have let them. Shepard had nearly given in. Ultimately, they had all agreed upon Shepard and the twins sharing one room, while Ashley and Maddy shared another.

Shepard was reading something on his omnitool while the girls flipped channels, and smiled at Ashley when she waved her hand in front of his face. "Can I talk to you in the other room?" she whispered, and her husband nodded. "Girls, we'll be right back, behave yourselves." Ashley's words were met with perfunctory nods.

Once they were alone in the other room, Shepard grinned cockily. "You know, while I think this is kind of risky, I'm not exactly going to argue."

Ashley was about to ask what he was talking about, but it became clear when he stepped forward and pulled her close, planting kisses on her neck. That made it harder to concentrate. She allowed a few kisses before pushing Shepard away. "Now, now, control your urges." Shepard pouted, and Ashley rolled her eyes. It was the same pout the twins had given her earlier. If she had any doubts about the resemblance they shared with their father, they were gone as of right then. That made her happy, considering how little of Shepard there was to see in Maddy. "What happened today? Is everything alright?"

"About as alright as it can be," Shepard said. "Wrex has photos of STG agents at the scene, moments before the bombing. It's some damning evidence." Ashley grimaced, knowing what such confirmation could mean. Shepard must have known what she was thinking. "I'm not going to pretend that Wrex was happy, or that he even had reasonable requests, but he has promised that the Krogan will not strike at the Salarians again before giving them a chance to explain themselves. He was adamant that justice be served though."

"And his justice involves more dead salarians, I'm sure." Ashley didn't need her husband to say anything to know she was right. "Grim stuff, John. Are you going to meet with the Salarian government now?"

Shepard shook his head. "Not my job. Wrex's evidence has been forwarded to the Council. They will confront the dalatrass. It's not my job to fly around the galaxy solving every problem that pops up."

Ashley nearly reminded Shepard he was basically doing just that here on Tuchanka, and had spent years doing so. There was no point, she loved his instinct to help when he was needed. "I can't say I'm not happy about that. Are we free to enjoy the rest of our vacation together, without worrying about business?"

Again, Shepard pulled her close, kissing along her neck. "Absolutely."

"Skipper, not right now," Ashley said, even more reluctantly than last time before pushing her husband away. "Come on, let's get back in there before the girls start ordering pay per views or room service." She led the way out of the room and over to the front door of the neighboring room. She grabbed the handle, only to find the room was locked. "Open this door right now, or you are ALL in trouble!" she shouted, trying not to give away her amusement that her daughters had tried to lock them out.

* * *

After a week on Tuchanka, Shepard was extremely happy to be back home, where he could sleep in his own bed. Not to say the hotel beds had been uncomfortable, but nothing compared to sleeping in your own bed, in your own house. Not to mention he had his wife in his bed for the first time in a week. Some men may not like to be in contact with their wives while they slept, but Shepard was not one of them. He wondered if that made him a dirty old man at his age, only two years away from his fiftieth birthday. He tried not to think about whether being dead meant he should subtract two years from his age, and besides he wasn't embarrassed. He had another sixty years before his body would reach a point where he would be comfortable sitting on his front porch yelling at kids to scare them. Hell, maybe longer. After all, humans were living pretty damn long these days and he was in exceptional physical condition.

He had yet to hear any new developments on the situation between the Krogan and Salarians, and counted his blessings there. The lead Garrus had given him on those that took him hostage had provided a few promising leads, which were being followed up on at the moment. For the first time in a while, Shepard was free to enjoy himself. At that particular moment, he was enjoying himself by reading a book he had downloaded to his omnitool and transferred to a data pad. He was midway through a boring chapter when someone knocked on the front door. He answered it to find Maddy's girlfriend Carrie at the door. The poor girl immediately began fidgeting. "Hello, Mr. Shepard," she managed to say. "Is Madeline home?"

Shepard wondered why Carrie was always so nervous around him, and only him. She didn't act that way around Ashley. "She should be back any minute, one of her aunts took her shopping." The teenage girl nodded, and walked over to the swinging bench on the front porch. "You don't want to come inside?" Shepard asked, wondering what exactly about him scared this poor girl.

"Um, sure, thank you," Carrie said, meekly following him into the house.

Once there, she stood near the front door. Shepard shook his head. "Do I scare you or something?" he asked.

"No, I…" Carrie answered, far too quickly. "I just admire you so much, I don't want to sound like an idiot talking to you, and have you think I'm stupid. It's easier to not look stupid if I keep my distance."

Shepard chuckled. "If you were a boy, I'd love that you are scared of me. Double standards, I know, but it should make you happy. I actually want you to like me." Carrie smiled, her tension lessening. "Seriously, calm down and take a seat. I'm not going to bite your head off. I've never talked to you besides helloes and goodbyes." Once the girl had taken a seat on the living room couch, Shepard asked, "So you admire me, huh? Any particular reason why?"

"The same reason everyone does. Your Commander Shepard, the savior of the galaxy. The stuff we've learned about you in school, I don't care how much time passes it should never be forgotten."

Shepard smiled. "I didn't do it alone, obviously. I hope they teach about the other heroes, like my wife."

"Oh, of course, I didn't mean to suggest they didn't," Carrie said apologetically. "You're THE hero though. Fair or not, you get most the coverage in history books."

That was a truth Shepard knew he would have to deal with. Eager to change the subject, he asked, "So what do your parents do?"

"My mom is a secretary at the ExoGeni office here on Amaterasu. My dad is a writer."

"Really? What's his name?"

"Patrick, Patrick Soto Karass."

Shepard's face lit up. "No shit, the same guy that wrote the Landstalker Chronicles?"

Carrie nodded, relaxing even more. "Have you read any of them?"

"Are you kidding, every single one of them!" Shepard said enthusiastically. "I've probably read all five of those books four times now. I'm a total geek for books like that, weird ass dramedy science fiction. We're going to have to get together sometime soon, I have to meet him."

"Sure, I'll tell him when I get home tonight," Carrie promised. "He'll be just as excited to meet the savior of the galaxy."

The two of them continued to make small talk, learning little things about each other, until the front door opened and Maddy walked inside. She smiled warily in the direction of her father and girlfriend, probably assuming the worst. "Hi dad, hi Carrie," she greeted, voice nervous. "How are you doing?"

"Just fine," Shepard answered. "I was just interrogating your girlfriend here, trying to scare her away from you." Carrie laughed, which calmed Maddy. "Calm down, we were just talking, getting to know each other."

"Okay, well we have plans," Maddy said, still eying Carrie curiously. "Give me a second and we can leave." Shepard watched his daughter, smirking at her fear of seeing her father and girlfriend talking to each other.

Once Maddy came back out, having changed into a new shirt and pair of pants she presumably bought while shopping, she asked Carrie to wait for a moment outside. "Were you really just talking, or did you try to scare her off?" she asked her father, eyes fixated on his.

"Oh chill out already. If I wanted to scare her off it would have been easy. She was scared to even come inside the house while she waited for you."

"I know, she tells me all the time that she admires you and would be scared to be alone with you. That's why I'm asking."

"Maddy, I promise, all we did was talk," Shepard assured his daughter. "I should be angry at you. Why didn't you tell me her father was Patrick Soto Karass? That's one of my favorite authors."

"I didn't know that," Maddy said.

"Well, then consider us even." Maddy glared at her father, and he sighed in return. "Get out of here and go have fun. I know you'd rather do that than hang around her trying to get me to say that I scared Carrie away. Go, leave."

Maddy smiled. "Okay. Thanks dad, I'll be back later."

"No later than eleven!" Shepard shouted, knowing that even though Maddy didn't acknowledge him he didn't need to worry about whether she heard. He walked back inside and picked up his data pad, remembering that the chapter he was reading was boring.

* * *

**Like I did with the last chapter of my other story, I'm going to ask my readers for a little more feedback than I've been getting lately. I don't get many reviews lately, and have no idea if those of you that read are liking this story right now, or what your complaints might be. So please, if you don't mind, go ahead and give me your thoughts. **


	16. Girl Problems

**Thank you very, very much for all the feedback after the previous chapter. I'm glad so many of you are enjoying this, and I appreciate all suggestions as to what you would like to see. You do not have to comment anymore if you don't want to, I just needed to be sure people were still reading and enjoying. :)**

* * *

"Of course," Shepard sighed, rolling his eyes. "I highly doubted it would be as simple as the dalatrass admitting she has been caught red-handed."

Ambassador Hunter smirked, sipping at the coffee in his hands. "She was rather insistent that her people had nothing to do with it, and that any STG involvement involved rogue agents."

Shepard took a look at the street, busier than normal. A few of them seemed only to be walking around to catch a peek at Shepard and his guest, which happened plenty, even after so long. The diner was emptier than normal, a result of the Alliance soldiers accompanying Hunter. Shepard missed the days when he could walk around Amaterasu without worrying someone was waiting to point a gun in his face. "So, what's the next step?"

"The dalatrass has promised to investigate whether the STG acted without authority, and we hope the Krogan stay under control until then," Hunter said, resignation in his voice. "As long as nothing happens to make the situation worse, we can hopefully clear this up. Of course, something always does happen, so when it does you'll probably be asked to go on a few trips again."

"Isn't it the truth?" Shepard asked, chuckling. He liked Hunter. He was one of the few ambassadors the Alliance had that was not constantly playing the political game. Around Shepard, he was a normal guy that said what needed to be said. Sometimes he even came around just to see the family.

"You bet, Shepard," Hunter answered. "Well, sorry to tell you bad news and run, but that's what I'm going to do." The ambassador stood, and Shepard joined him. "Expect a call."

Shepard nodded, and sat back down to finish his own coffee. The situation with the Krogan and Salarians was the hot topic on the minds of basically every important Alliance official. Contingency plans were already in place to evacuate humans on colonies controlled by the two races, and despite the horrible bias involved there were also plans being drawn up to stop the Krogan if they threatened Sur'Kesh. The idea that the Salarians could beat the Krogan wasn't even being considered.

Once he had finished his coffee, Shepard got in his car. A quick check of his omnitool showed it was time to pick up Maddy from school. The car felt empty without the twins in it. Typically they had to come with him since they were too young to stay alone in the house, but that day Ashley had stayed home after catching the flu from another soldier. Despite her illness, she insisted that she was able to watch their younger daughters while Shepard went about his business. It had been a much looked forward to break at first, but it did not take long for him to begin missing the usual screaming and fighting and nonstop questions.

Maddy was very excited, practically skipping to the car while Shepard watched with amusement. "Hey dad!" she said, hugging her father after getting in the passenger side of the car.

Shepard was frightened now. "Why are you so happy?"

"Oh, I don't know," Maddy said in a way that meant she was about to shout something. "Maybe because three different college representatives said that as long as I keep my grades where they are and pick up a couple of extracurricular activities, I would be a shoe-in to be accepted into their institutions?"

"Alright!" Shepard said, returning his daughter's hug with a smile. She had been nervous for days now about the college representatives coming to her school.

"Even better," she continued, "Carrie was told she would be accepted to two of those schools, so as long as we don't fuck up our senior year we can go to college together!"

"Hey, language!" Shepard said, shocked. Maddy shrunk in her seat, momentarily a little girl again. "Wow, since when are you dropping that word around me?"

"Sorry," Maddy apologized, "So, anyway, that's great news, right?"

* * *

Ashley felt like she was back in boot camp, being tossed around and beat on in hand to hand training by the much bigger recruits she had constantly been up against. Her chest was sore, her head was aching, her arms felt as if anchors had been tied to her wrists, her legs felt like a ball and chain were secured to her ankles. A constant flow of horrible mucus both flowed from her nose and gathered in her throat. To sum her condition up in a few words, which she had done when Abbey had called two hours earlier, she felt like shit. Still, she had told Shepard she was capable of watching the twins, and that meant she could not just lay in bed and sleep the way she wanted and needed to.

At the moment, she was stumbling out of her room and towards the kitchen. The one good thing about this particular flu was that she was not afflicted with the stomach problems typical when she was sick. So she had been gulping down glasses of juice all day, remembering her mother and father telling her as a kid that drinking juice was good for you when sick. Ashley had to admit that she loved orange juice, and if being sick was a reason to go through a gallon in one day then she would take it. She was nearly finished with the glass she had poured when the loud thump, followed by crying, told her she was needed.

Yelling had replaced crying by the time Ashley stumbled to the room. A very audible slap of a hand on skin was heard, followed by another, followed by another thump. Ashley hurried as fast as she could, but Anna and Jennifer were already in the midst of what fight six year olds could manage. The twins were most grabbing and pushing, with one or two slaps on the arm thrown in. Ashley hurried to separate them, luckily receiving no fight from her daughters. Even against the considerably weaker strength of the two girls, Ashley was not sure she was well enough to keep them separated. "Stop it!" she rasped out, her voice lacking the usual authority. "Both of you stop it right now!"

"Mommy, Jennifer took my toy!"

"Anna pushed me to the ground!"

"Because she took my toy!"

"It's not just yours!"

"Enough!" Ashley managed to shout. Normally she would show more patience, but the flu had considerably lessened her ability to be patient. "Anna, to your bed, now. Jennifer, to your bed." The words were spoken with the same authority Ashley had when drilling her soldiers, and the girls knew to obey. Once they were both sitting on their beds, faces glum in expectance of discipline, Ashley said, "I do not care who started it, and I do not want to hear either of you blame the other. Hitting your sister is wrong, always. Never, ever lay your hands on each other. You are family."

Anna opened her mouth, thinking about saying something, but Jennifer spoke first. "But mommy, she was being mean and pushed me!"

The icy glare Ashley gave them made both girls shrink away, staring at their feet as they dangled off the edge of the bed. "I told you I do not care what started it, or who started it. Both of you sit there on your beds, and I don't want to hear a word from either of you for the next fifteen minutes." Ashley turned away from the twins and walked away with long, intimidating strides. She had barely left the room when the weakness hit, and she stumbled against the wall. Lifting a hand shakily to her forehead, she could feel herself burning up. She wasn't even sure when she ended up sitting on the ground, didn't know how she ended up there when Anna and Jennifer knelt next to her. Somehow, they helped her to her feet and into her bed, where she stayed.

* * *

Shepard carefully set the glass of water on the nightstand next to his wife, watching her for a few moments while she slept. When he came home to find Ashley in bed, and his twin daughters telling her mommy had collapsed, he had panicked, of course. It had not been anything as serious as Anna and Jennifer had said, Ashley had simply overexerted herself disciplining the girls and a moment of dizziness had overwhelmed her. She was fine now, and had felt much better when she fell asleep. It was still a scary moment. He had told her she shouldn't be home alone with the twins. Well, it was over now.

When Ashley woke up around sunset later that day, Shepard was waiting nearby. He handed her the glass of water he had placed on the nightstand, helping her bring it to her lips. It only took one sip for Ashley to yank the water away and drink on her own. "I told you I should have brought the twins with me," he said, smirking at her.

As he had hoped, Ashley scoffed at him. "For Christ's sake, John, I'm just a little sick," she said.

That was all Shepard needed to see and hear to know his wife was feeling better. He left their bedroom and walked over to the twins' room, where both were still sitting on their beds, guilt written all over their faces. Since Ashley had basically been asleep the entire time, he had never heard the specifics of what their daughters had done, but it was time to find out. He stepped inside, watching as both Anna and Jennifer somehow retreated further into themselves. "Okay, time to talk."

The deluge of excuses was expected, but still annoying. Anna blamed Jennifer, Jennifer blamed Anna, and the two of them went on that way for about a minute straight, barely stopping to take a breath. One minute was how long it took for the two girls to resort to telling each other to shut up, and that's when Shepard hushed them. It took another half a minute for quiet to return to the room. "I'm disappointed in both of you," he said, putting that disappointment in his voice.

"We didn't mean to hurt mommy," Jennifer said sadly, tears forming in her big blue eyes. One thing about kids, they couldn't help but be honest. "Is she okay? We're both sorry. It's all our fault." Anna nodded, tears in her eyes as well.

"She'll be fine, she's just sick," Shepard said. "It did not help that she had to stop you two from fighting, but it is not your fault."

"I'm sorry, dad," Anna blubbered out as tears began running down her face.

"Me too, I'm sorry," Jennifer said.

"Then behave for the rest of the night. You are not allowed to leave your room except for dinner later." The girls nodded, but the tears got to Shepard, as he knew they would. He wasn't able to resist them when Maddy cried, he wasn't able to resist them the two or three times Ashley had cried, and he sure as hell wasn't going to be able to resist the twins crying. He walked to the center of the bedroom and motioned for his girls to come to him. They did, and he hugged them tightly. "I'm proud of you two for getting your mom into bed after she fell. You did the right thing, all by yourselves."

The girls smiled sadly. "We just did what you do when we're sick or Madeline is sick," Anna said. Shepard smiled at the twins calling their sister Madeline rather than Maddy. The rule the eldest of the Shepard daughters had as far as not being called Maddy really did apply to everyone except her parents and some of the old Normandy crew. Even some of them were being told on a constant basis to call her Madeline, not Maddy. "When someone is sick, they should stay in bed and sleep until they feel better."

Shepard smiled at the girls. "That's right. Glad to know you are paying attention. You're still to stay in your room though." The twins nodded, and went back to their beds.

* * *

It did not take a genius to see that Maddy was upset about something. Shepard had tried to talk to her, only to have his head bitten off rather quickly. Normally the language she had used would be enough to get her grounded for at least two weeks, but Shepard had talked Ashley out of punishment. Whatever her problem was, it was serious, and she needed to be talked to, not disciplined, he said. So here Ashley was, standing a few feet away from Maddy's room, listening as things she could not see were violently thrown into what was probably a box. Ashley found herself not wanting to take another step. Maddy never opened up to her, how the hell would she get her to if she was this angry? It was obvious what was going to happen. She would ask what was wrong, Maddy would explode at her, Ashley would explode back, and they would scream until Shepard was forced to come into the room and separate them. That was always what happened. A gut wrenching sob came from the room, followed by something else being thrown. Taking a deep breath and sighing, Ashley reluctantly walked into her oldest daughter's room.

Maddy was standing near a dresser, grabbing things from inside the drawers and throwing them into a box at her feet. So far clothes, picture frames, jewelry, and a few things buried beneath them were inside. The hysterical teenage girl threw a book and a data pad into the box before Ashley cleared her throat, and she turned to look at her mother. Maddy's eyes were red, her cheeks soaked from tears and stained by mascara. The hysterical packing of gifts to return to an ex. Ashley knew these motions well, the fury in every motion, the impatient searching for certain objects. Maddy stopped throwing things in the box, and when Ashley came closer the teenager threw herself at her mother, wrapping her arms tightly around her. The only option at that point was to let Maddy cry, and Ashley did that, hugging her back and waiting until the crying had subsided somewhat. She felt her shirt grow damp and cling to her chest, but it was okay at that moment. Finally, when Maddy's breathing returned to normal, Ashley asked, "Do you want to talk to your father instead of me?" Usually Shepard was the one that handled Maddy when she was this upset about something.

"No," the teenager said bluntly. "He doesn't understand. He couldn't."

"Come on, let's sit down," Ashley said, gently pulling her daughter down to the queen sized bed. "What doesn't he understand?"

"Relationships. Teenage girls. How a teenage girl should deal with relationships."

Ashley softly stroked her daughter's hair, so much like her own. "Well, I can't really argue about either of those points. After all, he wasn't exactly Casanova in his attempts to woo me." Maddy let out a sob choked giggle, a good sign. "I was a teenage girl once, so talk to me. I'm assuming something happened with Carrie."

"She's going to some fucking college on Earth that I can't get into, and won't even fucking consider going to one I'm interested in!" she shouted. Ashley excused the language. Maddy was irate, and this was a situation where Ashley would excuse almost anything she said. "I tried being calm and talking to her about it, but she refuses to even do that!"

Well, that was definitely something to be angry about. "I'm sorry, honey. So you're thinking you will break up with her before she breaks up with you?"

"I won't let her make the first move," Maddy said, displaying that good ole Williams-Shepard stubbornness that had served her parents so well. In this case though, it wasn't going to do anything other than make things worse. "She doesn't want to be with me, fine. But I'll be damned if she gets to end it, stupid bitch."

"Maddy, did she ever show any signs of actually breaking up with you?" Ashley asked. Might as well try to reason with her.

"I'd say going to a college I can't go to and not even talking about it pretty much means she wants to break up with me!" Maddy yelled.

"No, it doesn't. It means Carrie is doing something she thinks is best for her. She probably expected you to be happy for her." Maddy scoffed, the expected response. "You're hurt, I get it. I've been there."

"I doubt it."

Kids always doubted that their parents had actually been kids once, and experienced the same emotions and experiences they did. "You don't know much about your parents' relationship. Obviously, it's not like you ask or we volunteer to talk about it." Maddy actually began paying attention, which was a surprise. "We faced a lot obstacles that would have stopped any relationship, if not for the crazy circumstances that led to our falling for each other in the first place."

"Like what?"

"Well, we were both Alliance soldiers, and there are still very strict rules against fraternization between Alliance soldiers, even more so if one is a superior officer, which your father was to me. We only ended up taking the risk of being together because we were facing such insurmountable odds and may have died without knowing how we felt about each other." Ashley remembered those days fondly, despite the danger involved at the time. Their constant talk next to the equipment lockers. Those nervous moments as she stood outside the door to Shepard's cabin. Her awkward confession of how she felt, and how she felt less awkward the more she spoke. The acceptance in Shepard's eyes, and his own need of assurance. And of course, the moment when they kissed, hungry, passionate, desperate. The sex had been much the same, and absolutely incredible. The only sexual experiences she'd ever had to this day that compared were their first time after the two years away from each other, just before Shepard turned himself into the Alliance, their celebration when Shepard was finally able after the Reaper War, and the night she first told Shepard she was pregnant with Maddy.

"What else?" Maddy asked, her tears no longer falling.

"Well, you know about your father's disappearance for two years, after the first Normandy was destroyed." The little detail of Shepard dying had never and would never be told to their children. "When I saw him again after two years, it did not go well. He was calm and reasonable, but I yelled and called him names and was a complete bitch. I thought that was it, but we loved each other, and a few months later we were back together as if nothing happened. Even that was brief, as a month later he turned himself into the Alliance for something he did to stop the Reapers and we went five more months with no contact with each other." As loyal as Ashley was to the Alliance, she had argued vehemently against Shepard turning himself in after the Alpha Relay Incident. The Reapers were coming, and he had to keep fighting. If that meant being a fugitive, so be it. His insistence upon doing the right thing nearly ended their relationship.

"And then when dad got hurt during the Reaper War," Maddy said. She knew that story, since it was the happy ending to end all happy endings. Shepard fired off the Crucible, somehow survived on a piece of the Citadel that crashed to Earth, was found three days later, and left St. Thomas' Hospital two months after that, the hero that had somehow done the impossible, the greatest soldier to ever live.

"Actually there was no doubt about us at that point," Ashley said. "By that time, we were secure in our relationship, and it was only a matter of waiting for your father to wake up." Those days had been surprisingly calm, spent at Shepard's bedside. She had complete faith that Shepard would be okay, even when he was first recovered, legs bent unnaturally and every inch of his body covered in cuts, bruises, and burns.

Maddy stared away thoughtfully. "You two really went through a lot. Makes my complaints sound like bullshit from a teenage girl."

Ashley didn't dare say that it was bullshit from a teenage girl. "It's a problem in your relationship, and I don't blame you for being upset. It shows you truly care for Carrie. You two need to sit down calmly and decide if you are capable of a long distance relationship, of going however long you will go without seeing each other."

"If you and dad went two years without each other, I should be able to do the same," Maddy said.

"No, our relationship is completely different from yours," Ashley said, the understatement of her life. Her relationship with Shepard had been about as unconventional as a relationship could be, and she had never nor would ever be able explain how exactly it ended up working out the way it did. "You should never, ever make decisions in your relationships based on doing what your parents did. Make the decision on your own. Take as much time as you need. Talk to Carrie when you are ready. You have to decide if you care about her enough to go to different colleges, if the two of you are capable of having a relationship like that."

Maddy once again stared off thoughtfully. "Okay. Thanks, mom."

"Of course," Ashley said, hugging her daughter. A realization came to her. "Can you believe we just had a polite, intelligent conversation with each other?" she asked.

Maddy giggled. "I guess there's a first for everything."

"Not a first," Ashley said. "I'm pretty sure we talked to each other without fighting when you were six or seven. Maybe not." Maddy giggled again, and Ashley grinned at her.

* * *

The call came in the very early morning hours, waking Ashley. Her first reaction was anger. What the hell would someone be calling her now for? She grudgingly got out of bed, the beeping of the computer console the most annoying sound in the world. Shepard groaned, but did not wake up. Clicking and typing as necessary, the video was up in a matter of moments, the young, yet impossibly hardened face of Corporal Caballero on the screen. "What is it Corporal?" she asked, impatience obvious.

"Sorry to interrupt your sleep, ma'am," the corporal apologized. "Your presence has been requested on base as soon as possible."

"Who made this request?"

"Fleet Admirals Hackett and Vance, ma'am. They are on base."

Ashley immediately woke. "Thank you Corporal. Please let the Admirals know I will arrive within the hour." She was there fifty minutes later, striding quickly towards the conference room. When she stepped inside, Hackett and Vance were seated, both turning to look her way. Of course they were impeccably well dressed and appeared every bit as awake as if it was the middle of the day rather than three in the morning. In comparison, Ashley's hair was disheveled and her officer jacket was not tucked in. "I apologize for my appearance, Fleet Admirals," she said right away. "I hurried here as fast as I could manage."

Hackett waved dismissively. It was amazing how he managed not to look any older over the years. "At ease, Captain. It's very early, we understand." Ashley nodded and took a seat. The data pad in front of Admiral Vance did not go unnoticed. "We received a report from a scout fleet in the Traverse just short of six hours ago. As you know, the Alliance has made identifying those responsible for the attempted kidnapping of Prime Minister Hadad and your husband a top priority, and have placed all the resources we could spare into an investigation. This scout fleet was among those following up on a lead that the Turian Hierarchy provided, and we have a lead on a group that may have been responsible."

Ashley stared, smiling faintly. "That's great news, sir," she said.

"Hopefully," Vance said. "But we do not know for certain that this group was the one responsible." Apparently Vance would be the bad cop. He passed the data pad across the table, and Ashley picked it up. "It is a well known batarian led mercenary group, led by a man simply known as Rahark. Since the Reaper Wars, and the heavy, unrecoverable casualties suffered in Batarian controlled space during that conflict, an overwhelming majority of those batarians left alive found themselves entering mercenary groups, either to support themselves or take revenge." Ashley began reading the information on the data pad. Included was a picture of Rahark, and she honestly could not tell the difference between him and any other male batarian. "We have followed leads from other, smaller mercenary groups, and the trail leads back to Rahark and his mercenaries. We've located them, and will be moving to take Rahark into custody in exactly fourteen hours."

The decision came quickly, and Ashley knew as she spoke what her family's reaction would be. "I need to be part of the squad that takes him in."

The two Fleet Admirals exchanged a quick glance. Hackett leaned forward. "Captain Shepard, that is not why we came here. This was purely a courtesy, since it directly involved an incident with your husband."

"Sir, that cannot be true, and even if it was, I would not care. I would like to be on this team, if it is at all possible."

Again, the two superior officers exchanged a look. "Captain, you have not been in the field for a very long time," Vance said, in a way that told Ashley he hated the idea of her being involved in this operation. "It was your decision, not a popular decision, but one that was respected and granted because of your service during our most harrowing conflict. With all the due respect you deserve, Captain Shepard, I do not believe you are capable of participating in this operation, not without endangering your fellow soldiers."

Swallowing her anger in that moment was one of the hardest things Ashley had ever done, and she could feel her fury in her stomach afterwards, sitting there, roiling, threatening to retch back up in a moment. "I am still a soldier. I promise, I will not be a hindrance or a liability. I have not been sitting in an office, letting my skills go to waste. Please, Admirals, I need to be there. I need to do this."

The quiet tension in the room was too much, and Ashley waited nervously as the Admirals stared at her. They were going to tell her no. "Captain Shepard, please wait outside." Ashley nodded, and left the room.


	17. Back to the Front

Shepard watched silently as Ashley knelt on the ground, hugging their twin daughters, kissing them on their cheeks and rubbing their backs. She had a smile on her face, a smile that told him how nervous she was. Although just the sight of her showing such emotion in front of her soldiers should have been hint of that. Not that Ashley was one to hide her love for her children, but when in the presence of those under her command, her love was shown in a more reserved fashion. Tight smiles and brief touches on the shoulder, communicating with her eyes, something she was very good at. So watching her smile so brightly and hug the twins so fiercely, Shepard knew his wife was nervous about going back out into the field after so long.

The conversation had been brief. Shepard had woken up the morning she left, not worried that he was alone in bed but curious. The girls were eating breakfast when Ashley came through the front door, clearly having dressed in a hurry before she left. If he didn't know any better, he would be suspicious about his wife walking through the front door just after sunrise, clothes and hair in a disheveled state. She said good morning to everyone, hugging the girls and smiling at Shepard. He smiled back. When she asked if she could talk to him in the bedroom, he knew something had happened. Maddy watched them as they walked away, and Shepard knew his oldest daughter probably knew something was happening as well.

Ashley took a seat on the bed, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "When did you have to leave last night?" he asked.

"Sometime around two," she said wearily. "Hackett and Vance came to Amaterasu personally, to tell me that they know who was behind the mercs who took you hostage."

That caught Shepard's attention. The incident already felt like it happened a long time ago, and he hadn't really thought about it lately. "Who?" he asked.

"Some larger merc group led by a batarian named Rahark. One of the many that have popped up since the Reaper Wars."

The Alpha Relay incident immediately popped into Shepard's mind. Of all the difficult decisions he had made in his life, so many of which still haunted him, none compared to the decision he made to destroy the Alpha Relay. It had bought the galaxy mere month, a seemingly insignificant amount of time, but when he did it that had felt like a long time to give the galaxy time to prepare. Looking back, he wondered if that time had mattered at all. The leaders of the galaxy certainly didn't take advantage of the time. He watched his wife's eyes dart around nervously, focusing on nothing. He knew what had happened. "Did they ask you to be on the team taking this guy in, or did you volunteer?"

"I volunteered."

Shepard took a seat next to his wife, refusing to show the worry building inside him. He watched her face, studied her eyes. He could tell that Ashley was waiting for him to talk her out of going, and for a brief moment it appeared she might actually change her mind if Shepard really didn't want her to go. "Damn. Maddy is not going to like this. It's been a long time since you've been out in the field."

Ashley stared into his eyes, resolute. There's the woman he married, he thought. Whatever hesitation had existed a moment ago was gone. "Shepard, I have to do this. I can't give you a good reason why, but I need to be there when they take this guy in. If you don't like it, tough shit."

Shepard smirked. "Like I was going to argue that you shouldn't go? Come on, we've been married long enough for me to know way better than that. Maddy, on the other hand, she will argue." The two of them hugged, and that was all of their conversation on it at the moment.

Much to both of their surprise, Maddy did not argue. She moped, she clearly wasn't happy about it, but she accepted it. Deep down, Shepard wondered if she was more glad that the people responsible for what had happened to him were going to be caught than angry her mother was going to be in danger. It was also possible that Maddy had simply come to terms with who her parents were. The twins were confused, as mommy had never left for any large amount of time, and she had told them she would be gone for at least two or three days. Ashley told everyone the details at the same time, that she would be leaving Amaterasu in three hours and meeting up with a ship that would take her and the two squads she was leading to the mercs' hideout. She packed her personal items while Shepard readied the twins to go, and within an hour they were all headed out.

Now, as Ashley finally let go of their youngest daughters, it was time for her to board her ship. Two other soldiers from the base on Amaterasu, who if Shepard remembered correctly were named Unser and Farrad, walked past and onto the ship. Along with another named Holliday, they were the three soldiers going along with Ashley on this mission. She had handpicked these soldiers herself, and had full confidence in them. "Skipper, I'll give you a call before we go after this guy. That should be about four or five hours from now. Make sure my girls are there, if any of them are missing I'll hold you responsible."

Shepard straightened his body, jerking his hand to his forehead in salute. "Yes, ma'am, understood, ma'am!" he said.

Maddy did the same, shit-eating grin on her face. "Understood, Captain, Dad will be held responsible when I'm not at home, Captain!" she said.

Ashley laughed, and gave everyone one last hug. They watched as she boarded the ship, watching until the thrusters engaged and the ship soared out of port, not moving until it was no longer in sight. "Well, am I going to have to handcuff you three to a metal pole or something to make sure you are around for your mother's call?" he said jokingly.

* * *

Ashley immediately made herself at home at the weapon maintenance bench, despite the duty officially belonging to a Service Chief named Ida Granderson. Granderson had not voiced any protest, and in fact had been eager to let Ashley teach her a thing or two as she worked. Despite the many years that had passed, the now Alliance captain felt like she was the same grunt she had been while maintaining guns back on the first Normandy. Memories of the many times those easily identifiable footsteps could be heard behind her, the smile that came to her face knowing that Shepard came to talk to her. Their interest in each other had been born during those talks, to the point that Ashley remembered them among the best memories of the hunt for Saren. Not like there were many high points to that mission, besides stopping Saren and the night before Ilos.

Working on those guns had also been a good and necessary distraction in the two hours it had taken to reach the orbit of Edolus, in the Sparta system of the Artemis Tau Cluster. Once they reached orbit, the two squads that would be going down to the planet's surface to raid the mercenary base met in the situation room of the ship, ten soldiers cramped together, staring at a holographic display of the planet's surface. Despite being ranked lower than Ashley, Lieutenant Commander Brian Pratt would be taking the lead for this operation, and it was him that was explaining the plan to everyone. An abandoned mining town, consisting of five homes and two common area buildings, served as Rahark's base of operations on the planet, with Rahark himself likely taking up residence inside the mine. There were no anti-air defenses within the town. Two shuttles would drop the two different squads on the rooftops of two separate buildings, where energy signatures suggested that any existing security measures would be housed. From those rooftops, the two squads would work their way down, disable any security that may exist, and clear the rest of the buildings, hopefully without alerting the mercs within the mine. Once the town was secure, they would move on the mine itself. Rahark was believed to have thirty mercenaries with him on Edolus, with the majority of them likely being around the batarian.

For the first time in nine years, Ashley Shepard mentally prepared herself for battle. She put on her armor, placed frag grenades on the belt around her waist, placed her pistol in its holster, and slung her shotgun and assault rifle over her shoulders. Once her gear was secure, she sat on the ground near one of the shuttles, closed her eyes, and calmed herself. Now that the moment was here, it was surprisingly easy for Ashley to remember how fighting had once been her entire life. Hitting the ground with her squad, fighting an enemy, receiving orders and eventually shouting them herself, the unexplainable chemistry that formed between soldiers that lived and died together. For many years, she had been happiest on the battlefield. It was the one place where she could forget her burdens, forget what tragedies occurred in her life, because she had to if she wanted to survive. There was no place for distractions when you were fighting.

Her life was different now. While her life may not be perfect, no one's life was perfect, it was everything she could have hoped for. She was happily married, with three children she loved more than anything, and they provided her with the happiness that the battlefield once did. While that had made her hesitant when she first insisted she take part in this mission, made her second guess herself while she told Shepard what she had done, she came to a realization as she sat there, waiting. Now she had a reason to survive far greater than ever before. Before Shepard, before the first Normandy, while she never wanted to die, had fought as hard as she could to stay alive, there was never those people at home waiting for her to come back. She had her mother and sisters, sure, but that wasn't the same as what she had now. Shepard and her daughters made things different. They made things different when mercs had attacked Cailloux when Maddy was still a baby, they made things different every time Ashley had fought after that, and they made things different now.

Ashley lifted her head up, not realizing until then she was staring at the ground. She couldn't explain how much better she felt. This fucker they were going after could have killed her husband. The same husband that was waiting at home with their three daughters, the most important people in Ashley's life. Springing to her feet, she began shaking out her arms and legs, loosening her muscles. A sudden determination had seized her being, focusing her mind on the battle ahead. Over the next five minutes, both squads arrived at their shuttles and boarded. Ten minutes after that, the hangar bay opened, the shuttle engines ignited, and both began their descent to the planet's surface.

A few shots had struck the shuttle harmlessly as it approached the mining town, easily deflected by its shields. The shuttle opened, and Alicia Farrad was first out of the shuttle, followed by Zachary Unser and Britney Holliday. She had chosen those three from her own command because of their experience and skill in missions like this, and she trusted them to make the right decisions under any circumstances. Ashley followed them out, with the one soldier in her squad that was not one of her own, Private 1st Class Wladimir Pushkin taking up the rear. Pushkin was an average height, slender man, but he had one of the hardest, most intimidating faces Ashley had ever seen. She was told the young soldier had proven himself a very talented operator, and would likely be promoted further up the ranks if this mission went well.

The roof was clear, and Ashley wasted no time ordering her squad into the building through a door that led inside. She led the way, stopping at the bottom of the stairs and halting her squad, a hallway stretching ahead to the next set of stairs. Up ahead, she could hear voices yelling, telling others to take positions, there were intruders. Ashley motioned Pushkin and Holliday forward, to a room to the first door in the right of the she, Farrad, and Unser too the first door on the left. They all breached their respective rooms at the same time, making sure they were clear. The voices yelling at the end of the hallway were getting louder, suggesting the mercs were hurrying to meet them. Ashley wondered if they knew her squad had already gone inside the building, or thought they were still on the roof. With no way of knowing how many might come their way, and not wanting to risk being trapped in the small room they were in at the moment, she hurriedly led Farrad and Unser back into the hallway. The mercs would be upon them any moment. "Grenade," she whispered calmly, and two frag grenades were sent towards the end of the hallway, detonating just in time to incapacitate four mercs that appeared.

* * *

Shepard wondered how exactly he managed to avoid play dates when Maddy was a kid, because he would love to have an excuse at that moment. Three other little girls that lived in the general vicinity of their house were visiting, and even with Maddy helping he was quickly going crazy. Too many loud, girly voices and too much running around. He couldn't keep track of it all, dreading that the latest scream would be one of a little girl that was hurt. He tried not to be overbearing, but he knew the mayhem the twins were capable of. Add three other girls their age, and who knew what possible destruction they could manage.

So far, so good, and Shepard knew much of that could be accredited to his older daughter, who was managing her sisters and their friends with such skill that he was wondering where the hell he learned how to do this. Even Ashley wasn't able to effortlessly keep the twins entertained and well behaved the way Maddy had for three hours now. Every time an argument began, she would step in and within seconds have it resolved or distract them so that the argument was forgotten. It was sure as hell making Shepard's job easier, though he felt slightly guilty that his daughter was doing most of the job he was supposed to.

At that moment, the girls were getting along fine, playing with dolls while he prepared a healthy snack tray of celery covered in peanut butter. He could not think of many foods grosser than that, but he had never been a fan of peanut butter. That left him alone, as the other girls in his life were all ravenous with peanut butter, and would put it on damn near everything. Once the snacks were complete, served on a large tray along with small cups of apple juice, Shepard set them on the coffee table near the couch. None of the girls seemed to pay attention, too involved in their game.

His thoughts naturally returned to his wife throughout the day, though surprisingly he did not feel the worry he expected. The former soldier in him, he guessed, he had full confidence in Ashley's abilities and the training of the soldiers around her. Especially since three of the soldiers with her were soldiers Ash had trained herself. The girls all seemed okay as well, their moods no different than ever. By now, the mission was likely over and Rahark would be in interrogation if he was taken alive. His ears had been tuned for any sound remotely similar to his console's beeping alert, but so far Ashley had not called. A joyful barking rang through the house, and Shepard watched as his girls and their friends took turns chasing Rex and being chased by him, the order depending on who had the pull toy they were using. Rex got a hold of the toy, pulling Jennifer off her feet roughly. She bounced right back up, laughing and joining everyone else down the hall towards the bedrooms. He knew he needed to move this game to the backyard. Rex was as family friendly a dog as Shepard had ever seen, but he was still a dog and any game that involved him running around a house would inevitably lead to either broken possessions, injured kids, or both. That proved to be as easy as opening the door leading to the backyard. Rex bounded outside, the girls all following right away.

Maddy had been in her room for the last twenty minutes or so, and when she came out, Shepard noticed her eyes were slightly red, as if she had been crying. Ashley told him all about their talk three days ago, about what was happening with Carrie. He was trying his best to give Maddy space, because he knew he would probably screw things up if he tried to talk to her. Seeing that his daughter was still upset, and had been crying in her room, he couldn't help but say something. "Have you talked to Carrie lately?" he asked, always one to approach a situation bluntly.

Maddy nodded, offering a smile. "We're taking a break, figuring out what we want to do. I don't really want to talk about it, if you don't mind."

"Okay. I'm your dad though, so I have to ask."

"I know."

They joined the girls outside, where Rex apparently tired of the game and had gone into his dog house, chewing on the pull toy. If the girls minded, they weren't showing it, all of them crouched near the fence looking at something. Shepard walked over, Maddy behind him.

* * *

No casualties had been suffered in the taking of the town, which took a mere twenty minutes. The final body count was fourteen mercenaries, which left at least sixteen more inside the mine. It was possible that Rahark and his mercs heard the gunfire and the grenades, but Ashley knew from experience that these mines ran deep into mountains and underground, and unless one of those mercs was at the top of the ramp leading down from the entrance to the mine, they would not hear a damn thing. There were no security cameras of any kind either that would give their presence either. Not that you needed much warning, there was only one way into the mine, easily defended. Rahark would be at the rear, throwing everyone he could at them. Pratt led his quad around the hill the mine was built into, searching for any exits Rahark could use to escape, while Ashley's squad kept an eye on the entrance, and when he returned he assured them there was only the one way in and out. The plan was necessarily simple. They would rush in, catch these fuckers off guard, and use their superior skill and weaponry to blitz them.

Pratt's squad took the lead, Ashley and her soldiers keeping a safe distance behind in case Pratt ran into a trap of some kind. After walking through the entrance, the mine opened up immediately, without the typical secondary ramp leading further down. Both squads took immediate cover behind heavy machinery. Ashley and Pratt shared a look, Pratt nodded, and Ashley motioned for Holliday to move forward and take a look ahead. She did so for a brief nine or ten seconds, moving back into cover. There were ten of them in sight, two groups of three and the other four standing by themselves, spread around. Rahark was no where to be seen, but there was a door at the far end of the area ahead that likely led deeper into the mine. The batarian would likely be past that door. First, the mercs in front of them needed to be dealt with.

Using the machinery as cover, both squads moved as close as they dared. One of the mercs separated himself from the others, allowing Pushkin to grab him and choke him out silently. Two of the mercs that were standing by themselves walked over to the closes group of three, providing a large, tempting group to open fire on first. Both squads moved as close as the available cover allowed them, about fifteen yards away. Ashley's squad flanked the large group to the right, while Pratt's were in their line of sight, but staying hidden. Ashley took a quick look at the other group of three, twenty yards away, and the one merc standing by himself, thirty yards away, standing at the door, none of them showing any suspicion. On the count of three, both squads opened fire. Of the five mercs standing together, four were dropped in the initial gunfire, the remaining getting clipped and diving for cover. Ashley's squad stopped firing, while Pratt's continued, luring the others to engage and distracting them from her squad's movements. This gave them easy shots, and in no more than twenty seconds all of the mercs lay dead.

With soldiers positioned on both sides of the door ahead, shouts audible on the other side, Pratt gave the nod. The doors were opened, and a volley of stun grenades were tossed through the open doorway, followed two seconds later by a volley of frag and incendiary grenades. The sounds of groans and gunfire accompanied the detonation of the stun grenades, only for much of it to be silenced when the frags and incendiaries went off, replaced by frightened screams. Both squads rushed through the doorway, giving the mercs no time to recover. Six were dropped in the first five seconds before seven more, out of range of the grenades, forced the Alliance soldiers to take cover behind nearby crates.

Many different plans raced through Ashley's mind as she stayed behind cover, letting her squad take care of cover fire. This second mining area was much smaller, maybe twenty five yards from the door to the far wall, twenty yards wide. This worked both for and against them, as there was only one spot for Rahark and his mercenaries to take cover, but at the same time it gave her and Pratt's squads very little options to assault their position. After two minutes of trading shots, Ashley told her squad to give her suppressing fire, and hurried over the dangerous open ground between cover to where Pratt was crouching. "We need to draw them out of here," she said as quietly as she could without her voice being drowned out by gunfire.

"I'm open to suggestions as to how exactly we do that, Captain," Pratt said. "We've already made it abundantly clear that they hold the advantage."

Ashley narrowed her eyes, staring towards the ground. A cry of pain came from one of the mercs. One less to worry about, she thought. "We could retreat, let them believe they have the upper hand and we're being pushed back. See if they give chase." A grunt of pain came from the direction of her squad, and Ashley saw Unser dragging Farrad away from the crates, a wound in the soldier's bicep. "Perfect, we even have an injured soldier to show them. What's the worse that happens? They don't follow, and we get some time to think of an assault plan. If we stay here firing back and forth, this takes forever and we lose men. If we blitz them we take heavy casualties."

Pratt clearly did not believe in the plan, but in the absence of another he nodded his consent. "Retreat!" he bellowed, standing and spraying automatic fire in the direction of Rahark's men. If the cry of pain Ashley heard was any indication, he had managed to hit someone. "Retreat!" he ordered again. "Back through the doorway!"

Ashley led her squad through first, Holliday and Pushkin helping Farrad while she and Unser provided cover. Once they were through, Pratt led his squad's retreat. When Ashley heard a deep, batarian voice shout, "Follow them! Finish off these human scum!," she almost couldn't believe it. Ashley had led her squad to a large mining tool of some kind, to the left of the door, while Pratt's squad stopped at the crates where they had taken position earlier. "Don't kill Rahark," she told her squad, praying that Pratt would tell his the same. When the final six mercs rushed through the door, they were easy prey in the crossfire of the two Alliance squads. Rahark took two shots to the gut and another in the forearm, nothing they couldn't slap some medigel on to stabilize him on the way to a doctor.

While waiting for the shuttles to take them back to their waiting ship, reserved celebrations and congratulations were exchanged. Rahark was stabilized, restrained, and laying on the ground, two soldiers standing guard over him. Defeat was evident in the son of a bitch's eyes, and it took all of Ashley's professionalism not to scream at the bastard, to gloat, to shoot and kill him right then. When the shuttles landed, the ship's doctor was the first one out, to check on Rahark's condition. The batarian was loaded onto one of the shuttles first, riding with Pratt's squad, and within thirty seconds both squads were relaxing on their way back to the ship.

* * *

**I bet more than a few of you thought something horrible would happen to either Ashley or some of the other Alliance soldiers. Not like I haven't done it before.**

**Seems like all my chapters for both my stories lately are getting longer. It doesn't feel like it when I'm writing them though.**


	18. The News

**Not actually new, sorry. Had a review that pointed out a pretty bad inconsistency on my part about Ash finding out she was pregnant, and I'm an idiot that didn't notice the Replace/Update Chapter option before deleting this chapter. **

* * *

Shepard hated the idea of the parade. He had never particularly liked them, and being one of the focuses of one was not something he was enjoying. Especially when he looked down from the float he stood on, every part of his body screaming in pain as he clutched to his crutches, seeing the smiling faces of men and women that had fought every bit as hard as Shepard had to end this war. To his right stood Urdnot Wrex, boasting loudly and basking in the attention as he paced on the float. To his left stood Primarch Adrien Victus, stoic and unmoving, the parade nothing more than another duty to fulfill. The Council had their own float up ahead, receiving top billing of course despite doing little other than impede the efforts to end the Reaper War. On about ten floats following Shepard's down the still ruined streets of Earth were prominent members of governments of every space faring race in the galaxy, along with soldiers decorated for their efforts during the war. Many were generals, stone faced as they stood on the floats, but there were a few grunts there as well, of which Shepard had attempted to learn everything he could about. As hard as they tried to follow the examples of their generals, they were not managing to contain their glee.

The first face, well helmet, of a friend Shepard saw was Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, flanked on one side by her aunt, Admiral Shala'Raan, who had politely declined the chance to ride the float with Zaal'Koris and Daro'Xen. Even though he couldn't see Tali's face, he could tell she was smiling as she waved at him. Shepard waved back, forcing a smile of his own. He saw many others as they float continued down the street. Garrus Vakarian, Miranda Lawson, Jack, James Vega with one arm around some attractive young woman and the other around an Alliance soldier, whooping as the float went by. Liara stood quietly, a reserved smile on her face. Urdnot Grunt stood with the soldiers of Aralakh Company, shouting Krogan pride at Wrex as the float passed. Joker stood with Chakwas and much of the Normandy crew, the hurt of EDI's death still evident on his face a little more than a year later. He was no longer grieving, but the events of that day had brought back those painful memories. Jacob stood with his now wife Brynn and their baby boy, saluting Shepard when they made eye contact.

Not everyone was present at the parade that day. Samara had said she would be watching the proceedings on a television with her daughter. Kelly Chambers was unable to attend that day, still recovering mentally and physically from the Reaper attack on the Citadel. Kasumi was Kasumi, there was no way to be sure where she was, though she said she would attempt to attend the Normandy get together after the official ceremonies. The missing face Shepard had expected to see was that of the love of his life, Ashley Williams. He scanned every inch of the crowd on both sides of the floats, trying to find her smiling face, the beautiful brown eyes full of pride and happiness. She was no where to be found, and Shepard began to worry. She had been sick that morning, though she said it was nothing serious. The Spectre kept his eyes open as the float continued down the street, but Ashley was no where to be seen, and he could not help but worry.

As soon as the parade was over, and Shepard could get away, he hurried to the hotel he and Ashley had checked into while they were on Earth. He did not bother to knock on the door of their room first. Inside, he immediately spotted Ashley laying in bed. The first instinct he felt was to worry. "Hey, Skipper," she said, unable to hide her nervousness.

"Hey, Ash," Shepard said, cautiously approaching her. "Are you okay?"

The hesitation only added to his worrying. "Um, I'm okay, I guess. Actually, I need to talk to you about something. She flipped over in the bed, and for the first time Shepard could see Ashley's face. Her face was kind of pale, and she was definitely worried about something, but other than that she looked fine. More than fine, she was beautiful as ever. There was something different about her, something he couldn't identify that seemed to make her look more beautiful and radiant than ever before. "Sorry I didn't make it to the parade."

"I was going to ask you why you weren't there," Shepard said. "I was definitely expecting you, what happened?"

Ashley sat up and swung her legs off the bed, placing her feet on the carpeted floor. Shepard noticed she still had her shoes on, and had been laying in bed completely dressed. She patted a space on the bed to her right, and Shepard sat down. "I had the results of my physical this morning, from all the tests yesterday, and..." The pause Ashley took before continuing had Shepard sweating, eyes locked on hers. "I'm pregnant, Skipper. About a month in."

The words didn't hit Shepard immediately. He felt his mouth open in shock first, then his eyes widen. His fingers began to grip at the sheets beneath him. "Pregnant?" he finally managed to say, how long it took for him to speak he was not sure. "Oh crap, I mean, I didn't mean oh crap, I'm just, holy shit." Ashley laughed softly. "I'm happy, I'm definitely happy, I just wasn't expecting anything like this. I'm not sure why, it's not like we've never talked about it, it still is just such a surprise." Shepard stood, inhaling and exhaling, trying to calm himself, trying to stop the hundreds of doubts and fears assaulting his mind. Finally, he managed the smile he should have right away. "Wow, Ash, this is amazing. How do you feel right now?"

"Scared," she said without hesitation. "Thrilled, nervous, relieved, curious, but mostly scared." Shepard walked back over to her, hugging her. Ashley did not hesitate to return the hug. "I always imagined that when I found out I was pregnant, we would just be happy and nothing else. I kind of feel bad that my overwhelming emotion right now is fear, like I'm not the least bit ready and don't know what to do."

"Holy shit, Ash, this is crazy," Shepard said. "I don't even know what to do, what to say. I had all these theories about why you weren't at the parade, and this was not any of them."

"What if we can't raise our baby right?" Ashley asked. "What do we do when it cries, what do we do if it hurts itself? What if he or she isn't developing right? What the hell do we do?"

"I can't believe this, this is great. We'll have to go shopping soon, get clothes and a crib. We already have a big enough house, so that's not a problem. We'll have to tell the others tonight, if you want."

"John, oh my God, we're going to be parents! Us!"

It wasn't until both had finished rambling that they both realized neither had listened to a word the other had said. Both ended up breaking down into nervous laughter, hugging each other again. "I love you so much, Ash. We'll figure this out, we have to. We have the money to provide a good living, I can quit the Spectres tomorrow to make sure I can stay home with the baby."

"I'll have maternity leave, I'm not sure how long but it will be for a decent amount of time, I'm sure. Enough to make sure we know what the hell we are going to do afterwards. Skipper, I can't tell you how happy this makes me. I was so worried about how you would react, but with the war over, I've dreamed about the two of us having a child. I know, me dreaming about a kid is crazy, but damn it I'm a woman, and I wanted a child with the man I love."

"Love you too, Ash. This is a hell of a surprise, but I'm absolutely thrilled."

"Good," Ashley said, exhaling loudly. "I would have had to kick your ass and chain you up somewhere if you wanted to run."

* * *

Ashley had been so happy to come home and tell her mother and sisters the news, but now that she had she was regretting it. Oh sure, the squealing and congratulations had been great, but now they were doing nothing more than bring up all her worries right back to the front of her mind. Abby had started it of course, she was always the one that teased Ashley the most when it came to relationships. Sarah had taken the opportunity to pile on, followed by their mother. Lynn had held out as long as she could before following everyone else's lead.

The pouting face on the pregnant woman's face was eventually pitiful enough for the women to stop. Ashley felt her mother put a hand on her shoulder. "Alright, girls, that is enough. I think we went too far."

"Aw, come on Mom!" Sarah pleaded. "This is payback for all those years she teased us!"

"Yeah!" Abby chimed in. "Miss Alliance brat pregnant with the savior of the galaxy's kid? That's worth at least ten more minutes."

Ashley offered a weak smile, which must have made her look pathetic, since her sisters immediately shut up. "We'll leave, let you and mom talk alone," Lynn said.

Once they were alone, Ashley buried her face in her hands, breathing in deeply and exhaling heavily. "I don't know what the hell to do, mom. I don't know anything about being a mother. Not a damn thing. Neither does Shepard. We are going to be screwed."

"Honey, you will do fine," her mother assured. "After all, I raised you."

"I'm not you mom, and for the first time I genuinely wish I was more like you. You were always so calm, even as a kid I noticed stuff like that. No matter what was wrong with us, you handled it with ease."

"And none of that rubbed off on you?"

"I guess we'll find out soon enough."

The elder Williams laughed and planted a kiss on her daughter's cheek. "So, how is John dealing with the news?"

Ashley loved how her mom was the only one that called Shepard by his first name all the time. Unlike most people that knew the Spectre, she did not know Shepard in any sort of professional manner. He was simply John Shepard, the man in a relationship with her daughter, and she had never been the least bit intimidated by his charisma or aura. Shepard had to earn her respect, the same way everyone else did. "He's…happy. Scared just like I am, but he's very, very happy about this." Ashley's smile came naturally.

"Of course. That man is almost unflappable. I'm so happy for you, Ashley. You found a great, great man. I always wondered who you would end up with, if anyone would ever be able to handle you."

"What is that supposed to mean, mom?" Ashley asked, insulted.

"You know exactly what I mean. I didn't forget the boyfriends you brought home. Remember the other John, the one who ended up hitting on Abby?" Ashley brought a hand to her forehead, grimacing.

* * *

"Son of a bitch!" Shepard shouted, throwing the screwdriver in his hand to the ground. Various parts lay on the ground in front of him, taunting his ineptitude. He took another look at the instructions, attempting to piece two parts together, only to find he had no idea what to do afterwards. "God damn it!" he shouted again. How, after thousands of years of human civilization, had no one made a build it your goddamn self crib?

The laugh he heard from the doorway only made him angrier. "The savior of the galaxy, the man who fought a Reaper on foot, can't build a crib. This is just too funny."

"Maybe if it wasn't like building a freaking ship, I wouldn't be having so much trouble!" he shouted angrily.

Ashley walked over and crouched next to her husband, placing a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "You ready to give up?"

"No, hell no. I can build a crib, at the very least I can build a damn crib. I have over six months until this baby is born, I can finish this before then." Ashley stifled another laugh at the thought of Shepard needing six more months to build a crib. "Can you see what I'm doing wrong? I'm following the diagram, but the diagram is clearly wrong."

Ashley looked at the manual in front of her husband. "Have you been following the instructions, or just looking at the diagram?" she asked, knowing the answer ahead of time.

"The diagram tells me all I need to know. I'm a visual learner anyway."

"The instructions are there for a reason, Skipper. Just flip the page back and follow them."

"Why? The diagram is all I should goddamn need," Shepard insisted. When Ashley laughed again, shaking her head, he threw the screwdriver down again. "Do you want to do it yourself?" he asked.

Surprisingly, Ashley nodded. "I'll give it a shot." Shepard scoffed, stood, and left the room. He could use the break to think about what he was doing wrong.

When Ashley called him into the room forty minutes later, Shepard stood from the couch smugly. He strolled to the room, looked down, and his jaw dropped open. The crib was perfect, and Ashley was flipping the screwdriver up in the air, catching it every time. It was unfathomable, there had been no doubt in Shepard's mind that the crib would not be finished. His wife had accomplished in forty minutes what he had spent almost two hours trying to do. "So, pretty good job, huh?" Ashley asked.

"What. The. Hell." Shepard said. "You have to be kidding. How did you put it together so quickly?"

Ashley threw the manual at him, and the booklet hit Shepard in the chest before he caught it on the way down. "I read the instructions."

Shepard shook his head, and slumped to the ground, back against the wall. "Well don't I feel like shit," he said. "Some dad I'm going to be. I can't even build a fucking crib." Shepard took another look at the finished crib, and hit the ground with a closed fist.

"It's just a crib, John," Ashley said, surprised by the genuine anger her husband was showing and quite confused by it. "You've never been much of a builder. It's no big deal."

"It's everything!" Shepard said. "Building a crib is something incredibly basic, the most basic of things a father can do for their kid. If I can't even do that, what can I do when there's a real problem? Damn it, I'm not ready for this!"

Ashley felt her eyes grow misty at that last sentence, but she dared not cry. This was not a situation where she should be crying, it was a situation where she should be kicking Shepard's ass. To that end, she walked over and sat next to him, winding up her hand and smacking him hard on the back of his head. Shepard whipped his head to look at her. "Done whining?" Shepard said nothing. "Well? Was that all the poor me crap you were going to give me?" Again Shepard said nothing. "You think I feel like I'm ready to be a mom? You think I'm not scared to death right now? Grow a pair already and deal with it."

"Sorry, I'm just freaked out."

"So what? It's not like we can go back now and change things so I'm not pregnant." Ashley nearly smacked her husband in the back of the head again. "Stop whining. It's really unattractive. I didn't fall in love with a wimp, and I wouldn't have married you if I knew you were going to start acting like one."

Shepard laughed, knowing she was right. "You're so hot when you yell, you know that right."

"Don't try to distract me, John."

The Spectre snuck in a kiss on Ashley's cheek, smiling at her when she pushed him away. "Alright, Ash, no more whining. I promise. So I can't build a crib? There's plenty of other stuff I can do."

"As long as it doesn't require building anything." Shepard stared with forced offense at his wife. "What? It's true, Skipper, you can destroy things better than anyone who ever lived, but I've never seen you successfully build anything. At this point, it's obvious you just cannot do it."

Shepard nodded. "Okay Ash. I'll remember that."

* * *

Pounding the last nails into place, Shepard looked over his handiwork with pride. He could hear the heavy, slobbering breath nearby that told him Rex was watching with interest. Once everything was finished, Shepard began pushing and prodding at certain places, making sure everything was solid. Everything appeared solid. "Alright, Rex, go ahead and check it out for me." Tentatively, the young dog stepped towards the doghouse, sniffing the outside. One paw was placed inside, as the dog continued to take in the smell. Then another paw, then another, and soon Rex lay down inside the doghouse. Shepard began petting his head, and the dog rolled over, giving his owner access to his stomach.

The shock on the faces of Shepard's girls was worth the surprise. The first to see the completed doghouse were Anna and Jennifer, when Shepard told them to come outside and see it. Both little girls loved it, to the point that their father had to be strict in telling them they could not go inside the doghouse themselves. Maddy saw it next after being picked up from school, staring at it in shock and expressing that same feeling when she found out Shepard had built it. Clearly Maddy had been listening to her mother far too much. The reaction he had waited for all day was that of Ashley, so when she came home, in a surprisingly happy mood, Shepard barely waited before asking her to come outside. He had not told her he was building the doghouse that day, so that it would be a complete shock. Confidently, he led her to the backyard and watched her face. "Isn't it so cool?" Maddy said, following them outside. "Dad built the entire thing today."

Shepard continued to watch his wife's face, eagerly awaiting her approval. "Not bad," she said, entirely unimpressed.

"Not bad? That's way better than I thought Dad could ever do." Shepard whipped his gaze towards his daughter. "Um, sorry."

"I guess you're right," Ashley said. "This is the first thing I can remember your father ever successfully building."

"Alright, enough!" Shepard said, unbelieving of what he was hearing. "I'm really not going to get any credit for building that thing myself? Go check it out, push on it, throw something at it if you want. That thing is rock solid."

"I'm sure, Skipper," Ash said, patting his hand. Maddy unsuccessfully tried to stifle a giggle.

Shepard stormed out into the yard. "Screw you both then. You think I forgot you're 'You'll never be able to build anything' comment Ash? There's your proof that you were dead wrong. Besides, Rex loves it don't you boy?" Rex ran out from inside the doghouse, up to Shepard. He jumped up, placing both paws on Shepard's stomach, tongue wagging. The former Spectre removed the dog's paws from his stomach and knelt down to pet him. "That's a good boy, at least the person who will be using the doghouse likes it. I don't care what the rest of you think."

"Sure, Skipper, sure," Ashley said. "Why'd you build a doghouse? Rex sleeps inside, he is only ever outside when we are, what's the point."

Shepard found himself speechless for a moment. "Dogs have doghouses. Rex liked it, he'll use it when he's outside. That's enough to make me happy." Almost as if to reaffirm Shepard's opinion, Rex ran back to the doghouse and lay down again. Shepard grinned cockily at his wife and daughter.

Maddy groaned. "Why does Dad get like that every time he thinks he is proving something to someone?"

"Leftover personality quirk from the days when no one believed him about the Reapers," Ashley explained. "It's annoying sometimes, but he deserves it."

"Ugh, I hope he's never right about a relationship of mine. I don't think I could handle it." Ashley laughed, watching her husband act like a little kid, laying on the grass while Rex jumped around him.

* * *

**Ha! Show them, Commander Shepard! :)**


	19. Shepard vs Shepard

**I don't know how you all will react to this, but I've kind of pushed reset on what I was planning to do with the Krogan/Salarian thing. It was threatening to become the focus of the story as I was thinking of what to write, and that's not what this story is. That may not go over well, and I can go back later to give it focus you want, but right now, for the final two or three chapters, I'm getting back to the Shepards. Once I'm done with the main focus of the story, I can write about a full blown Krogan/Salarian conflict.**

* * *

Maddy had been thinking she handled her mother's most recent assignment maturely. She stayed positive, did her part to help her father with her sisters, helped with the housework, even cooked a few times when dad was busy and came home late. She missed her mom, of course she missed her mom, but she understood how important her mom was. Her reaction to her father's hostage situation seemed a distant memory, one Maddy was embarrassed to remember at all. The stupid hormonal reaction to a stressful situation, she told herself, as if she had really grown up that much since. Not like she was that different a person, a year and a month later. Seventeen is still a teenager, and Maddy was still prone to those type of selfish reactions. Her parents insisted that compared to most girls her age she was a saint, but Maddy didn't know about that. Compared to her twin sisters, maybe they were right. It had more to do with getting used to the circumstances. At some point with military parents, even one that was retired from the military but still constantly needed around the galaxy, a person simply had to accept the possibility of danger. They made sure to never both be gone at the same time, and they always returned home as soon as possible. Thinking about it, that's how dad had always done things. The difference was mom, who for most of her life had spent her days at the Alliance headquarters on Amaterasu, leaving in the morning and coming home at night, as if her job was a typical nine to five job. That had been the hardest thing to get used to when mom began going out on assignment again.

Maddy stepped away from her homework and checked the clock on her nightstand. Two hours until mom came home, and the family would be there to greet her. It was at that moment that Maddy usually began realizing she was faking the calm with which she handled her mother's absence. The familiar worry and anxiety would build within her, and only get worse until her mom stepped out of the shuttle, smiling in her family's direction, and Maddy knew for sure that mom was okay. Unable to concentrate on her homework, and knowing she had probably screwed up what little she already completed, she went the closet and changed out of the clothes she wore to school that day, brushing her hair as well. She helped dad get Anna and Jennifer ready, which was not as terrible a task as it had once been. The left an hour before mom was supposed to arrive, as usual. Dad never went anywhere without arriving at least fifteen or twenty minutes early, a habit he formed in the military, she was sure. Maddy stared out the window, not looking at anything in particular. She found herself thinking that she would be leaving soon. This was her senior year of high school, only six more months until graduation. Somehow it wasn't hitting her like she thought it would. She was excited, sure, but not like everyone else in her graduation class. All they talked about was graduation, of school being done, of not being able to wait for the day they left their parents' homes and went out on their own. Maybe that was the difference between her and them. She liked home.

A group of four guards were near the front gate of the base, and waved them through once they saw dad. The look of respect they always gave him, these soldiers who were maybe two or three years older than her sometimes, always made Maddy think about how great a person her father really was. That inevitably led to remembering the time she told him she wished she wasn't his daughter, which always made Maddy want to hug her dad and apologize profusely. Even after nineteen years, John Shepard was still a legend, the ideal by which every soldier in the Alliance or anywhere else in the galaxy strove to live up to. These huge, intimidating career soldiers that had served the Alliance faithfully and bravely in the years since, that were accomplished and incredibly respected in their own right, with their own legends, would turn into little kids around dad. It was the effect he had on everyone, it seemed. After passing through the gate, they circled around the compound to the landing area for the shuttles. Ten of them were currently sitting there, with mechanics working on three of them. Even with her limited memories of the base before dad was taken hostage, Maddy could spot the heavily increased troop presence on the base. There was not one inch of the base that was not under watch by at least two troops, except the offices for the higher ranking soldiers like mom, she assumed. Dad stopped near the landing area, twenty-one minutes ahead of schedule, and they all waited. Maddy was beginning to grow very excited to see mom again.

* * *

Ashley had fallen asleep on the shuttle at some point, and when she was pushed awake she needed a few seconds to remember where she was. This mission had been an easy one, without any real combat. She had led a squad on a recon mission, to scope out a planet suspected of housing some new terrorist organization trying to recruit krogans to their cause, under the guise of "Revenge for Hokura," the city on Tuchanka that had been bombed a year earlier. Since that time, it had been discovered that the photos of the STG agents at the bombing site were real, but they had received intelligence warning them of the bombing, a setup to frame the STG, and by association the Salarians. Who exactly would want a war between the Krogan and Salarians is still a mystery, one being investigated officially by the two governments involved and the Council and unofficially by every advanced race in the galaxy. This mission, because of the tagline being used to draw in new recruits, had piqued interest as a possible lead. Of course, it hadn't panned out that way. This bold new terrorist organization had consisted of about fifteen poorly trained and armed nobodies. Ashley hadn't even bothered to get her hands dirty, letting the soldiers under her command take care of the actual task of neutralizing the morons.

Returning to combat had proven much less of a challenge than Ashley had anticipated. Since the mission to capture Rahark, she had participated in five separate combat missions now, feeling more comfortable with each deployment. After Rahark's capture, Lieutenant Commander Pratt had spoken very high words of praise, and Alliance command had not hesitated to accept Ashley's offer to return to combat. It had simply felt right. Shepard had supported her, Maddy had not offered any objections, and by the time Anna and Jennifer were old enough to care, Ashley would be out of the field for good. It felt like the right time to return, and she had proven that she still had the skills to hold her own out there. Being out there, it felt right. She felt like she belonged.

Ashley felt the shuttle land, and rose to her feet, shaking away the numbness in her legs. The door opened, late afternoon sunlight blinding her for a couple of moments, but her eyes adjusted quickly. She stepped out of the shuttle, and as always spotted her family standing nearby, waiting to welcome her home. Ashley stepped a few feet away from the shuttle and crouched, waiting. Anna and Jennifer did not disappoint, running towards her for their usual double hug. Both of them squealed when they were lifted in their mother's arms, an act that was easier as Ashley's physical shape continued to return to its former peak. Shepard and Maddy were more reserved with their welcome, as always, though both were obviously very happy to see her. This had been the second longest amount of time away of the five missions so far, at five days away from home. After the greetings were over, they all packed themselves in the car and headed home, Ashley taking the backseat with her younger daughters.

Back home, spread out in the big armchair in the living room, the delicious smell of mashed potatoes and grilled chicken wafting through the house, Ashley could not have been happier to be home. Her muscles had begun to grow sore, typical after she came home. The hurt never came to her until she had something comfortable to sit or lay on. Anna and Jennifer were describing their day to her, constantly interrupting each other. The twins had begun school that year, and were loving it. How did they grow so lucky to have all their children enjoy school? Maddy came into the living room, talking to someone using her omnitool. The teenage girl offered a smile in Ashley's direction, and ended her call. Since their talk the day Maddy was upset with Carrie, something had changed between them. Maddy was no longer confrontational with her mother, she didn't hide things, came to her for advice, it was like she became a completely different person. Ashley would even dare to say her oldest daughter liked her more than her father now. They certainly talked more than Maddy and Shepard did. Having not talked to Maddy alone since she stepped off the shuttle, she told the twins to wash up for dinner and waved Maddy over. "How's your week been? Did you help your dad around the house?"

Maddy nodded. "I actually cooked a couple of times!" She opened her mouth in fake shock.

"Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my daughter?" Ashley asked in mock horror. The teenager giggled. "Who were you talking to just now?"

"Carrie. Just talking about stupid stuff happening in our lives."

Ashley's smile lessened. "How are you things between you two? Hope it hasn't been uncomfortable to be around each other." The two girls had decided to break up six months ago, temporarily Maddy said. The arguments between the two over going to separate colleges had been too much. Ashley was proud of how maturely her daughter was handling the situation. In Maddy's own words, just because they weren't in a relationship didn't mean the two girls couldn't be friends, and somehow they were making that arrangement work. Ashley was almost certain they would end up giving their relationship one more try. She couldn't believe that two people could be together, break up, remain friends, and not end up together again. It had never worked for her or anyone she knew, and Abby and Sarah had been in enough relationships throughout their life to give Ashley some evidence.

"Fine, we still get along like we did before," Maddy said. "I miss her, but this is for the best. It's hard sometimes, to remember that we aren't together. Sometimes I realize I'm reaching for her hand or about to lean over and kiss her cheek, and have to stop and remind myself."

Ashley couldn't resist now. "You two are SO going to end up back together at some point."

"No way," Maddy insisted. "I like things how they are. I never realized it until lately, but we really needed to get away from each other in that way. We like being friends. I wouldn't change that she used to be my girlfriend, but this is better."

"Again, you two are going to end up back together."

Maddy rolled her eyes. "Aunt Sarah says the same thing whenever she makes me talk to her about this. I think you're both crazy."

"And she would know better than anyone," Ashley said, grabbing the remote off the table in front of her and flipping on the television.

* * *

Shepard couldn't have been happier to have Ashley home, as he lay on his back in bed, the warm body of his wife snuggled up against him. Her chest inflated against his side as she took low, sleepy breaths. Lifting the covers, Shepard again admired his wife's body, which he would swear was better than it had ever been. One benefit of her return to combat, she looked better than ever. Back when their relationship began, she was certainly beautiful, at least in his eyes and that's all that mattered, but her body was one of a soldier. Two decades, three children, and nine years without fighting had lessened that to an extent, and in a good way. He ran his fingers softly along her back, feeling the odd bump where there was a scar, causing her to sigh as she slept.

The former Spectre was still surprised how much Ashley's return to combat did not bother him. How could it, when he saw the positive effect it had on her? She may not realize it, but she was a completely different person, a happier person. While he didn't exactly like having his wife gone for days at a time, she was living the life she wanted to. Ashley insisted that she would retire from combat missions sometime in the next five years, but Shepard wasn't so sure about that. If Ashley decided to do stop fighting for good, but he could see she didn't actually want to, he had already decided to tell her to keep going, to be an Alliance soldier until the day she hated it. He did not want her feeling like she needed to stay home because it was her duty as a mom, or that she should quit fighting because he had so long ago, he would not let her.

Apparently Shepard had been stroking her back a little to roughly, because his wife began waking, shuffling under the covers and lifting her head off his chest and shoulder. "Why aren't you sleeping? I didn't wear you out?" she said seductively, running a finger over the muscles of his stomach.

"I haven't been out fighting for a week," Shepard answered.

Ashley scoffed. "Please, I hardly did any fighting. I mostly sat back at a safe distance while the others took care of business. What a bunch of amateurs these guys were." She rolled so that she was on top of Shepard, face to face, the blanket falling to her waist. "Left me with plenty of tension and energy. What do you think, old man? Have the energy?"

She had barely finished that mocking question before Shepard reversed their position so that he was on top of her. He actually took her by surprise, he couldn't believe it. "What's it going to take to prove to you that I'm in top physical shape?" he asked, using the same words Ashley had when he teased her before Ilos. Ashley responded by trying to flip him, and the two fought each other for dominance. That fight lasted all through their lovemaking, leaving both exhausted when it was over. Both tried to outlast each other, and Shepard could feel his eyelids drooping shut as he watched his wife, her eyelids drooping as well.

Just as he hoped, Shepard woke up first, disentangling himself from Ashley and getting out of bed. He grabbed some clothes, took a shower, and prepared a bowl of cereal. Weekends were always so strange, after spending all week preparing breakfast for the kids. All three of the girls tended to sleep in until mid-morning, and recently not even the smell of a big breakfast could get them out of bed on a weekend. Once he finished his cereal, he checked the weather to make sure it would not ruin his plans for the day. Luckily, a perfect, sunny day with barely a cloud was forecast, and upon opening the door to the backyard to let Rex out to do his business, he found it was an absolutely perfect morning that seemed to promise a day much the same. With a smile, he waited for the dog to come back inside and went to wake Ashley up.

"Last chance to back out, Skipper," Ashley taunted. It was a tempting offer. Seeing her in her short gym shorts and form fitting tank top, he felt more inclined to take her back to bed than continue with his wakeup challenge. Seeing her in such great shape also reminded him that his challenge had likely been very foolish and would blow up in his face. That would be common sense though, Shepard didn't let common sense get in the way once a challenge had been issued, either by him or to him.

"You're not fooling anyone, you're just trying to get out of this before I beat you," Shepard taunted back. Ashley smirked and took her position. First event of the day was a two mile race. Both of them could do two miles in their sleep, and he had picked the distance because it was short enough for them to focus on speed, but long enough to think about reserving energy for the rest of the challenges that day. Shepard took position as well, flexing the muscles in his legs. This was either one of the best ideas he ever had, or one of the worst. No sense in delaying his finding out. "On three. One, two, three!" Shepard pushed off with all the force he could manage and began sprinting at top speed.

Shepard's muscles were screaming later that afternoon, moments before the final event of the day. Both his legs were so sore they were rubbery, his right arm felt like he strained a muscle at some point, and his lungs had only stopped burning minutes earlier. They were basically even at this point. Ash had won the two mile race, Shepard won the next two events, pushups and the sniper range. Ashley won with assault rifles on moving targets. Shepard narrowly beat her running an obstacle course. Now it was time for the final event of the day, and despite it being one Shepard knew he should win, he wasn't sure he had enough left.

To look at Ashley, one would think this had been a walk in the park for her, but he knew his wife, knew the signs that told you she was hurting, too. She was smirking way too often, she would crouch and casually rub her calf muscles, she would turn her head away from Shepard and took a few deep breaths. The final event was an easy one, chin-ups. Shepard led her to a dual set of chin-up bars, but before they started Ash scoffed. "Are your serious? This is really disappointing. I was certain you would save hand to hand combat for last."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Shepard said. Besides the opinions the girls might have if they saw them fighting, or the rumors that would spread if the neighbors or paparazzi saw, he was no where near confident enough in his hand to hand abilities to test them against Ash after so long. Not in a competitive, non life threatening manner.

Ashley was staring at him like a wolf at easy prey. "I know YOU don't think it's a good idea. I'd kick your ass within two minutes. One minute if pissed me off."

Shepard crossed his arms, cracking his knuckles at the same time. "Is that right?" Ash grinned fiercely. "Alright. We'll start with grapples and go from there."

The two of them circled each other, focused on every movement the other made. Shepard knew his wife's tendencies, especially when it came to the holds she tried to use. He felt pretty good about his chances, if he stayed reactive, let Ash make the first moves, and used his superior strength, he could do this. Ashley did not hesitate to make the first move either, going for Shepard's left leg. He used his right leg to brace himself, not letting Ashley lift him, and leaned on her back, forcing her to the ground. She released his leg, and he quickly spun around her, holding her to the ground. Ash tapped twice on the ground, and he let her up.

Next time, shouldered into his stomach, wrapping her arms around him. When Shepard tried to lean on her again, she twisted around him and tried to force him down. It was easy work for Shepard to pull her hands away from his abdomen and twist around behind her again, taking one arm with him. Again Ashley ended up on the ground, and had to tap. They did this two more times, Shepard able to use his size and knowledge to win each time. "I win, Ash. You can't do shit to me. This is why hand to hand is a bad idea, you're just embarrassed now."

His fiery wife's face was tomato red from anger and frustration. "This isn't hand to hand. This is college wrestling bullshit. You're afraid of real hand to hand. If we don't allow shots to the face, it will eliminate the one stupid excuse you're using. How about it, real hand to hand, no punches or kicks to the face."

That did kill his biggest excuse, he had to admit. "Fine. Let's do it." He couldn't back down now and still be able to claim victory. Besides, he was still feeling confident from his success in the grappling. Ash's grin stayed on her face as they again circled. This time, she did not grab for his legs, she quickly shot a kick at his shin, which Shepard just barely avoided full contact from by pulling his leg away. They circled again, Shepard waiting for his wife to make the first move, as she liked to. She threw a punch at his chest, which he blocked, but he was slow to avoid another kick at his shin. Ash's punches and kicks were quick, quicker than he had expected, and extremely accurate. He was managing not to take the full brunt of most of them, but he wasn't hitting back enough and Ashley's blows were taking their toll. Shepard's already sore legs were screaming in pain, he could feel the bruises forming on his shins from her kicks. Ashley was clearly trying to kill him with bee stings, tiring him out at the same time, until Shepard had nothing left.

It was time to attack, because he was not quick enough to match her cobra style strikes. When she threw her next punch, a hard shot to his right pectoral, he moved forward, took it, and swept her off her feet with his left leg. Ashley tried to bounce back to her feet, but Shepard pounced on her, holding her down. The two of them were back to grappling, though Ashley was still throwing punches and kicks whenever she got an arm or leg free. Shepard ignored those blows the best he could, attempting to maneuver so that she was completely neutralized again. After a while, the two of them ended up face to face, Ashley's legs wrapped around Shepard's waist, trying to flip him, unable to because Shepard had her entire upper body pinned down, keeping her from getting the leverage necessary to flip him. At the same time, Shepard could not rise up and get into a position to do anything either. Looking down at his wife's face, stray hairs plastered to her forehead by sweat, intense effort and concentration on her face, he suddenly found himself distracted. She was too beautiful. A sudden impulse struck him, and he leaned down, planting a kiss on her lips. Both stopped fighting, though Ashley's legs stayed firmly wrapped around Shepard. He leaned down to kiss her again, and next thing he knew the two of them were kissing passionately, fighting for position in an entirely different manner. "Ew!" a voice shrieked from somewhere in the yard, Shepard didn't know where the hell it came from. He looked around, and saw Anna and Jennifer standing at the back door, faces scrunched in disgust.

* * *

**Yes, I chickened out of having one of them win the competition. Sue me, LOL. Also, why is this site telling me the word "week" is wrong?**


	20. The Girly Horde

"I'm so glad you came," Anna said, absolutely darling in her costume, her part in the play being that of a talking panther.

"Me, too!" Jennifer said. She was playing a princess, which both Ashley and Jennifer expected to cause major jealousy issues between the girls, but no such problems had come up. The only explanation Ashley could think of was that since the two parts had equal billing, they didn't mind. That and Anna insisted she liked the big cat she was playing more than the princess role. Ashley was still prepared for any problems after the play was over. "Mommy, do you like my costume?"

"I love both of your costumes," Ashley said. Jennifer's princess costume was a light blue dress that covered her upper arms, and fell to her feet. A fake crown of a convincing gold color and glint was placed upon her head, with other convincing fake jewelry around her wrists and on her fingers. Anna's panther costume made her look like the most adorable and huggable animal ever, and was also surprisingly well made. The teeth in the mouth, open wide to show Anna's face, looked like they may actually be sharp to the touch. Ashley carefully pressed her index finger to a tooth, glad to feel that they were not as sharp as they looked. "You two are so freaking adorable, I'm taking pictures." She positioned her omnitool, looking at the preview display and taking a picture before the girls could protest.

"Perfect," Shepard said with a grin, looking at the picture Ashley had taken. "I swear, you two have to be the best princess and large cat thing I've ever seen."

"I'm a panther!" Anna said angrily. She corrected them every single time.

The teacher running the play began frantically gathering the kids together, and Ashley and Shepard quickly wished the twins good luck, hurrying from backstage with the other proud parents. A few gave them confounded looks, as if they couldn't believe the two of them would actually show up to a play like this. Ashley wasn't sure if she should be offended or not. Maddy had found them very good seats, three rows from the front, facing center stage. The auditorium went dark as they were taking their seats. "Oh my god, guys, how cute did they look?" she asked rhetorically. Maddy had seen them in their costumes already.

"I got a picture," Ashley said.

"Good," Maddy said.

The curtain were drawn to the side, and the play began, in a predictably cheap forest with trees made of cardboard. After seeing the costumes, Ashley kind of expected the sets to not look so good. Three boys dressed like princes were on stage, in fancy doublets with well stitched emblems of lions on the breast, above the heart, talking about a princess that lived alone in a cabin within the forest. They were predictably awkward and stiff, but Ashley thought they were better than most kids in a play like this. They began walking, not actually going anywhere. The curtain closed, and the next set was the cabin the princess lived in. Jennifer was sitting in a chair, pretending to sew. Ashley's smile was ear to ear in anticipation of her daughter's lines. "I have lived her for so long, with no one other than the animals to talk to," she said, delivering her lines better than the boy princes had. At least Ashley thought she did, but she was biased.

The three princes came on stage again, and one said, "Fair princess, I came to find you. Your beauty is known to all, and I seek your hand in marriage." The other princes made similar claims of intent to marry the lonely princess, and Ashley noticed Shepard shift in his chair, staring at his daughter protectively. She had to stifle a laugh at his behavior. The princess told all of them how she would not marry any of them until she got to know them, and the curtain closed again.

The princess was back in the forest when the curtain opened again, asking for her animal friends. A bear, a fox, and Anna's panther came on stage. Ashley wondered why exactly a panther was in the play. Then again, maybe panthers did live in the forest and she didn't know. Ashley grinned again, but she also noticed Anna looked much more nervous than Jennifer had. Her eyes darted around, never focused, and she had to struggle not to look at the crowd the entire time she was on stage. "Animal friends, what should I do?" the princess asked, Jennifer looking very comfortable now, as comfortable as a girl her age can in a play.

"Marry the youngest prince," the fox said. "He is the most handsome."

"Marry the rich prince," the bear said. "You will have all the nice things in the world."

Anna hesitated, nerves threatening to overwhelm her. "Marry the nice prince," she said shakily. "He will treat you kindly."

"Such a difficult choice," the princess said. "I like them all, but I would have to leave my forest friends no matter who I choose." The bear, fox, and panther continued to give reasons why the princess should marry the prince they liked, Anna a little less nervous as she continued but still struggling sometimes. Ashley heard a few rude whispers, but ignored them.

The play come to an end an hour later, having dragged on too long by at least twenty minutes. Ashley loved her children, but she was reaching a point where the damn thing needed to end. Besides, that wasn't their fault, it was the teacher who put the play together. The princess decided that she would choose whichever prince decided to live in the forest with her, as she did not want to abandon her friends. The young prince said no, that living in the forest would ruin his looks. The rich prince said no, that the forest was not nice enough for him to live in. It was the nice prince, predictably, who said yes, that he loved the princess and would live anywhere with her. They got married, the animals promised to always be her friends, that she could return to the forest whenever she wanted. The prince promised to let her return whenever she wanted, and come with her. They lived happily ever after, and it was over. The crowd clapped, the kids bowed, Ashley stood, her right leg asleep.

She stood near backstage with Shepard and Maddy, waiting for the twins. "Did you hear those jerks in back of us?" Maddy said.

"Yes," Shepard said. "What a couple of sons of bitches. I wanted to punch them the whole time."

Ashley elbowed him in the side, though not very hard. She thought she was the only one that noticed the rude people in the audience. "Come on now, focus on the girls, this night was about them, not whatever jerks were in the crowd."

"Alright," Shepard said, though he was clearly upset. Anna and Jennifer exited the door nearby, dressed again the clothes their normal clothes, both looking nervous. Jennifer was smiling happily, but Anna looked disappointed. "There are my girls," Shepard greeted, walking forward and pulling both into hugs. "You were great."

"I wasn't," Anna said. "I was nervous the whole time, and almost forgot some of my lines. I should have been better."

"Hey, you did fine," Ashley immediately reassured her. "It was your first play. Next time you will be better."

"I don't want to do it again," she said. "Ms. Darrell was kind of mean, the audience made me nervous, and I don't like the other kids."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Shepard asked.

"Because I didn't want Jennifer to have to quit with me. She said she was having fun."

"I did, I had a lot of fun!" Jennifer chimed in.

That mindset wasn't a surprise. Ashley couldn't claim to be an expert on twins, but she had read how they can sometimes feel that if one does something, the other has to as well. Especially as kids, they had a hard time with their own identity. "You thought you had to be in the play because Jennifer was?" Maddy asked. Not really her job, but Ashley knew the twins listened to their older sister at least as much as they did their actual parents.

Anna shrugged, and stared at the ground. "You should have said something, sweetheart. Your sister liked being in the play, you didn't. From now on, if Jennifer wants to do something but you don't, then all you have to do is tell us."

"Okay," Anna said.

"Come on, let's go pick up a pizza," Shepard said, one arm around Ashley and the other around Jennifer. "This deserves a celebration. My daughters were regular Oscar-winning actresses out there tonight. If you like acting, Jennifer, maybe you can grow up to be famous and spend your money supporting your mother and me when we're old and useless."

* * *

Sarah absolutely loved her twin nieces. Ashley told her that she spent more time around them than anyone of their other sisters, and probably just as much as Ashley herself. It was easy to find reasons. Sarah's oldest child, Amanda, a girl of eight, was of their age, so play dates were constantly arranged, much the same as how Lynn's two kids had been Maddy's best friends growing up. She realized she hadn't seen Nicholas or Trudy, or Lynn's youngest, Geena, in a while, since Lynn had left Amaterasu to live on some new colony established five years ago. She didn't make the money to get off planet and see Lynn and her family as much as she would like. Abby and her one son, unsurprising that Abby had stopped at one, were around, but Chris was a teenage boy that didn't want his family around him all the time. Maddy was fun to be around, but she was a teenage girl that felt the same. Luckily, Sarah had her own young kids and Ashley's twin girls.

The twins were working as a team with Amanda and her five year old son Stan on a game of solitaire. Sarah poured herself a glass of water, three ice cubes as always to crunch on afterwards, and sat down near them. They were doing a good job, she had to admit. They likely wouldn't finish the game, but they were doing well. "Move the five of diamonds below the six of spades, and you'll be able to move the whole stack there over below the seven of hearts," she offered as advice.

Amanda did as suggested, and all of them clapped and celebrated, bringing a smile to Sarah's face. Ten years ago, she would never have believed that kids could make her so happy. Sure, she enjoyed being the cool aunt, the one that spoiled them and did not treat them with the same restrictions that their parents did, but the drive to have a family had left her when Thomas died. Sure, she had been young then, but he was everything she wanted. Kind, handsome, adventurous, as brave a man as she could imagine, funny, Sarah could list the things she had loved about him for hours. A part of her would always love him. Those months after Thomas died had been every bit as hard for her when dad died. So many days spending hours in front of the memorial on the Citadel, the tears never stopping. Ashley had been there for her, which helped so much more than her older sister thought it had. Yes, Shepard had come back, and Thomas would never do the same, but Sarah had been there for Ash when he was gone those two years. Sarah knew the actual story, at least as much as Shepard had been willing to tell Ashley. He had actually died, been dead as dead can be. Ashley may not have thought she could offer any real help when Thomas died, but she could. She had gone through the same thing, just like mom had, and it was with their help that she was able to heal.

Even moving past the grief, Sarah still was affected by her husband's death, and spent so many years living life, the idea of a family never crossing her mind. None of the guys she met had any real attractiveness to her, besides that of a sexual partner. She was more interested in going out, having a few drinks with friends, and bringing a guy home for some brief satisfaction. That soon lost its fun as well, and Sarah would just go home alone. It had not been until she met Rudy twelve years ago that things began to change. They had been introduced through mutual coworkers, and Sarah had taken a liking to the easygoing man. He didn't have expectations, and was simply there when she wanted to spend time with someone. They were nothing more than friends for nearly three years, though Rudy had made his interest known, until Sarah was the one that asked Rudy on a date.

A few months after that, two weeks after their fourth date, was when Sarah found out she was pregnant with Amanda. Even then, having the man's baby, he let things move at her own pace. It still sounded crazy to Sarah, that she was having Rudy's kid yet she wasn't sure about him, and it was even crazier to her that he was so accepting of her mindset, so willing to move their relationship at the pace she wanted. Looking back, it was obvious she was still thinking of Thomas, but as the months passed, and Amanda grew within her, Thomas finally became nothing more than a pleasant memory. The change in her attitude must have been obvious, because Rudy asked if he could finally move in with her soon after, which she readily accepted. They were married when Amanda turned one, divorced when Amanda turned two, and remarried when Stan turned one. Things had been smooth sailing since. Sarah still had a hard time accepting herself as a family woman, but she'd be plain lying if she told anyone she didn't enjoy it.

The knock on the door was right on schedule. Sarah opened it, gave Ashley a greeting and a hug, and let her inside. She poured a glass of orange juice for her older sister, and the two seated themselves on the couch, watching as the kids began a new game of Solitaire. Somehow they were still managing not to shout their suggestions to the point of fighting. "You're kids are growing up so fast," Ashley said, sipping at the orange juice. "Wasn't Stan born just a few days ago? What happened?"

"Hey, I'm their mom, sis, and I can't believe how fast they are growing up."

"That's usually how it works. Maddy is…ten years old right?" Ashley joked. "I still have a hard time believing that all of us are moms now. You're in your thirties, what the hell? I'm in my freaking forties! I can't believe how old we are."

Sarah shrugged. "Yeah."

They were quiet for a while, Sarah's thoughts returning to their previous reflection of her life. As usual, she wasn't hiding it very well. "What are thinking so hard about?" she asked.

"Life. Thomas, Rudy, my kids, how I ended up here. You know, nothing serious."

Ashley giggled. "I've been there. It happened to me around this point, when Maddy was nine. I woke up one morning, saw John cooking breakfast while Maddy was sitting on the counter, describing what she wanted on her pancakes. I spent the rest of the day trying to remember when exactly all of this happened, when family life became normal. It was strange, you would think that would have happened when Maddy was a baby. Luckily, it was a weekend, because I was distracted all day."

"I don't know why you'd be worried," Sarah said. "You are a great mom, just like our mom was. Way better than I am."

"I absolutely am not," Ash insisted. "Look at me, my daughter wouldn't even talk to me in any way besides yelling and arguing until she was sixteen."

"Just like you and mom," Sarah muttered.

Ashley's eyes went wide, and Sarah couldn't help but laugh. "I was NOT like that."

"Oh come on, Ash, yes you were!" Sarah said. "I was a kid when you were a teenager, but you and mom didn't get along at all. You were such a bitch whenever mom talked to you. The only difference is that things didn't change between you and mom until you left home and joined the Alliance."

Sarah could see that her older sister was thinking about it now. "You might be right. I can't remember."

"Ash, you and mom didn't get along at all. First time I remember you two talking to each other calmly was about a year before dad died. I don't remember what about, but I came downstairs at night and you two were talking quietly, laughing sometimes."

"So, I'm doing things right then?" Ash asked. "Good to know." They watched the kids for a few minutes. They had given up on Solitaire and were reading something on the extranet. "You may not think you're doing a good job, but I'd say Amanda is better behaved than Maddy was at that age, and she's definitely better behaved than the twins are. Stan seems just like his sister as well. No way you'll convince me that is Rudy's doing."

Sarah smirked. "I love him, but no, definitely not. Thanks sis."

"Yeah, get bent."

* * *

How Ashley managed to drag herself out of bed to answer the door, she wasn't sure. The large majority of her body was not only sore, it was screaming at her to never move ever again. She had been running the obstacle course, an every two or three days routine, and slipped on a balance beam, twisted her knee, smacked her head on the beam, and landed hard on her side. It was maybe the most embarrassing thing she had ever done, and she was glad that only two others had seen. They probably started laughing as soon as they were out of her presence, but they had stayed composed while helping her up and waiting for Maddy to come pick her up. That had been its own fear, of course, since Maddy had been driving on her own for only three months.

Dragging herself to the door, Ashley wished Shepard was here to answer the damn door so she could stay in bed, so she could stay in bed and not feel like she was about to faint. When she entered the living room, Rex ran by her, nearly running into her in the process. "Oh my god, Rex, move!" she yelled. The dog quickly obeyed, ears down but still wagging his tail excitedly. She opened the door, and was caught completely by surprise. "Lynn? What are you doing here?"

"Hey Ash, can I come in?" Lynn's voice was raspy, weak. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy.

Ashley immediately noted the absence of her sister's children, and had a good idea what had happened. "Of course, come on in." Once Lynn was inside, Ashley limped over to the couch. "Have a seat."

Her younger sister helped her as Ashley sat down as well. "What happened to you?" she asked, a mocking smile on her face.

"Training accident today. Maddy had to drive me home, I really fucked myself up." She met Lynn's gaze. "So who did it? You or Leon?"

Lynn shook her head. "That obvious, huh?"

"You're my sister, Lynn."

The younger woman grinned slightly. "Leon. I've known it was coming, obviously, but it's different when it actually happens. He came home late, sat me down, told me that things weren't the same anymore, it would be best if we ended things peacefully, for the kids." Lynn leaned back on the couch, ears shimmering with tears. "I know he's right, but we've been married for so long. Damn it, ever since we left Amaterasu, we haven't been the same. Maybe if we had stayed, this never would have happened."

Ashley placed a sympathetic hand on Lynn's forearm. "That's just wishful thinking, the type that will drive you crazy. If it was meant to be, it wouldn't matter where you two were. What about the kids?"

"Staying home with him, for now. Other than that, we don't know. They're my children, of course I want them, but I'm not willing to ruin their lives in some horrible custody fight. Nicholas and Trudy will be on their own soon, anyway. We'll figure it out, we have to for Geena's sake at least. She's still young."

"Was he cheating?" Ashley asked eyes narrowing. She had always suspected that Leon was unfaithful to her sister.

"No, I am very sure he was not. I know you probably would never believe it, but I do. There were no signs to suggest he cheated on me at any point. It really was a simple as the two of us not really loving each other anymore." Lynn shrugged. "I'm trying my best to handle this calmly."

"You're succeeding, I'd say," Ashley said. "I would be a wreck if this happened to me and John."

"Believe me, I've done more than a little crying, obviously," Lynn said, pointing at her face. "I'm taking a few days away now, and what better way to get out all my anger and sadness then with my sisters? I'm counting on the three of you to get my mind off of this. Maybe get me really drunk so I forget, even for a night."

"Girl, that is no problem at all," Ashley said with a wicked grin. "We definitely need to get you laid, too. When's the last time you got laid?"

Lynn blushed fiercely. "Oh my God, Ashley, shut up! That's none of your business!" Ashley kept staring at her sister expectantly. "Seven months."

"Seven months!" Ashley nearly yelled. "Oh, there's no way I believe he wasn't cheating on you now. You are way too good looking for him to not touch you for seven months unless he was getting some from someone else. You leave it to me, I'll call Sarah and Abby and we'll take your mind off this asshole."

* * *

Shepard walked through the front door, and immediately spotted both the woman on his couch and the one on the bedroll. He lightly walked past them, to the bedroom. Inside, Ashley was still wearing clothes presumably from the night before, a blue knee length dress that showed off her cleavage. Only one shoe was on her feet, the other on the ground below the foot of the bed. Her makeup had not been removed either. Must have been a hell of a party, he thought with a grin. He stood close to Ashley and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. When she stirred, groaning, he whispered, "Afternoon, gorgeous."

She kept one eye closed, looking up. "Afternoon?"

"Yep."

She groaned more as she sat up in bed, wiping her face with her hand and coming away with a palm full of makeup. "Oh God, I actually fell asleep like this. I must look horrible."

"Kind of," Shepard said. "Though its kind of sexy, too. I guess you four had fun."

"I don't know," Ashley said. "I can't remember. Is Lynn here?"

"I didn't see her in the living room. Maybe she's sleeping in one of the kids' rooms." Almost as if on cue, Shepard heard the front door open. He helped Ashley out of bed and walked with her out of the bedroom. They saw Lynn stepping lightly into the house, carrying her shoes in one hand. She froze when she saw them. "You DID go home with the guy," Ashley said, grinning.

"Please, just don't even start."

"What? He was hot," Ashley said. "I bet you feel better now."

Lynn grinned sheepishly, definitely embarrassed. "Yeah, I do."

Shepard could guess why Lynn was feeling better. Sex could make someone forget a lot of problems, he knew that well enough. He heard Abby and Sarah began to stir. "Okay, not my business. I'll go make some coffee for you drunks."

* * *

**That might have been a little too mature an ending after the way this opened, LOL. And yes, the Oscars still exist in my ME universe. As always, any comments or feedback is appreciated.**

**Two more chapters, but they will be one long chapter split into two. 20th anniversary of the defeat of the Reapers blowout!**


	21. Halloween

**I couldn't resist writing a Halloween story. It's just too awesome a time of year. :)**

* * *

"Come on, come on!" Jennifer shouted, hopping in place. The pumpkin-shaped plastic bucket in her right hand swung as she jumped and yelled. Ashley walked out from the hallway, helping Anna fix the crappy handle on her own plastic bucket, which broke at least once every year. Usually it waited until some candy had actually been thrown in before it broke. "Come on, let's go!" Jennifer shouted again, using her most obnoxious whining tone. "Dad, Madeline, hurry up!"

Ashley was about to threaten not to take her trick-or-treating when Shepard and Maddy came hurrying out to the front door. "Alright, jeez," Shepard said. "You better calm, little girl, before your mom gets angry." Jennifer immediately shut her mouth, and Ashley glared at her husband. Way to make her the bad guy.

The five of them headed out the door a few minutes later, their costumes not all the same theme like usual. They had given up on that this year, since it proved incredibly hard to think of a theme for their costumes they had not already done multiple times. Anna, Jennifer, and Maddy were all dressed as pirates, an easy go-to, while Shepard and Ashley wore military uniforms from the twentieth century, all green both light and dark, with some black as well. Their faces were painted in the same colors, and they had hats to match. After finishing the face paint, Ashley had stared at herself in a mirror, shaking her head. She knew her military history, it was hard to grow up an army brat and not learn such history, but it still boggled her mind that such getups were once a standard. Not that camouflage wasn't useful, she couldn't deny it was, but the effort involved was ridiculous.

Kids were already making the rounds, some with parents, some not, most of them running from house to house. As usual, Judy Harrison was sitting outside her front door, a giant plastic bin of candy next to her. Anna and Jennifer immediately ran to the house next door to begin the night, Maddy keeping up with them. She was too old for trick-or-treating herself, but she had grown up with this tradition, and it would be easier to scrounge candy off her sisters later if she had fun with them now.

Halloween had been a Shepard family favorite for years, rivaled only by Thanksgiving and surpassed only by Christmas, of course. Ashley had to admit that she loved Halloween, always had. It was the one time of the year, as serious as she was, where she felt comfortable dressing and acting goofy, because everyone else did, too. Growing up with three sisters, her costumes had typically been girly, because Lynn, Abby, and eventually Sarah would dress up like princesses and ballerinas and pressure her into wearing the same thing. It usually didn't take much pressure though.

They did not have to go to many houses before their buckets began to fill, and they hadn't even left their street before Maddy had to take their buckets and hand them the two spare ones she was holding. Shepard and Ashley were each holding one spare bucket each as well, and once they were all full their night would be done. That probably wouldn't take more than an hour. Their neighbors were very generous, and fair or not gave the Shepard girls a little more candy than they did anyone else. They had always done so with Maddy, and continued to do so with the twins. Ashley liked to think of it as a continued gift for the Reaper Wars, as stupid as that probably sounded. It was an explanation she liked better than thinking they felt pressured to spoil her kids just because of their last name. This line of thinking always made her feel ridiculous. Honestly, did it matter why? She closed her eyes and made herself stop thinking.

Once the buckets had been exchanged between Maddy and the twins, Shepard predictably hurried forward to check what lay inside. He could honestly be a bigger child than any of the girls sometimes. When he reached a hand inside to grab a chocolate bar, Maddy slapped his hand and yanked the bucket out of his reach. "I didn't let you do that with my candy and I'm not going to let you do it with their candy either," their oldest daughter said.

Shepard put on his best stern face. "I'm your father and theirs and if I want that candy bar, I'll take it."

Maddy grinned and her muscles tensed. "Let's see you try," she challenged. The two of them stared at each other, unable to keep up the charade more than a few moments before laughing. "Come on, dad, you can wait. There's no way they will eat all the candy they get."

"Yeah, yeah," Shepard said. "If I don't get one with almonds though, we don't go trick-or-treating next year."

"Honestly, Skipper, you should just grab a bucket and knock on the doors with them, you're more of a baby than any of our daughters have ever been," Ashley said, sighing.

"I'm just saying, I better get one of the chocolate bars with almonds in them."

* * *

Maddy watched her little sisters half run, half skip to the front door of the house ahead, smiling at their enthusiasm. It was not that long ago that she had been in their place, running from house to house and trying to get as much candy as she could. When she got home, she would immediately tear into it, and bring as much as her parents allowed to school to eat with lunch. The other kids would stare jealously, but she didn't care. She noticed how the neighbors would give her more candy than the other kids, and she loved it. For most her childhood she thought that was the best part of being Commander Shepard's daughter, the awesome amounts of candy she got on Halloween.

The first time her parents told her about Halloween and trick-or-treating, it had sounded crazy. Over and over she had asked if they were telling the truth, because the idea that strangers gave kids candy when you knocked on the door was a wonderful idea straight out of most kids' dreams. "What kind of candy do they give you?" she asked them.

"Every kind of candy," Dad told her. "Chocolate bars and fruit chews and Tart Tabs, peanut butter cups and hard candies, just about any candy you could want."

"What kind of chocolate bars? Just plain ones?" Maddy had asked. As if it mattered.

"Every kind," Mom had said. "Plain, dark chocolate, white chocolate, with almonds and coconut and nougat. The fruit chews are of all flavors, and there are chocolate chews as well. And I know how much you love peanut butter cups." Maddy had been sold after that.

She had been so nervous when mom and dad brought her to pick a costume, still unbelieving. All the costumes made her feel silly when she wore them. That had been the start of what became a tradition since the first year they went trick-or-treating, where Mom and Dad would dress up with her while they went from house to house. She didn't feel as silly about wearing a costume when they were wearing costumes as well. The first time she went trick-or-treating, she wore an alien costume, which seemed a little inappropriate looking back. It had looked like a salarian to her, with a big head and big eyes, and three fingers on the hand. The lady in the costume shop said it was one of the most popular that year. To match her, Mom had bought the same costume, big enough to fit her. They didn't have one Dad's size, so Grandma had made one. They walked with her, each holding a spare bucket, handing one to her when hers was full. At the end of the night, she had poured it all on the living room carpet, a treasure trove of wonders, a rainbow of treats. She ate as much as her stomach would allow, and a little more, until she was sick enough to puke.

The last time she went trick-or-treating was at the age of thirteen. When the twins went for the first time, all those memories of great Halloweens came rushing back, and when Mom and Dad dressed up for the twins, just like for her, she insisted on doing the same. Watching her younger sisters run from door to door with such glee, the same as she did at their age, it was really hard not to do the same. A couple of times, she did, at Mrs. Harrison's house especially. She always had the best candy in that big plastic bin next to her, and memorized the specific candies that particular kids liked, making sure the largest portion of what she gave them consisted of that candy.

Her pirate costume was beginning to grow extremely uncomfortable after around an hour, the eye patch in particular. She fidgeted with it over and over, but it would just become uncomfortable again after a few minutes. She scoped out the candy in the buckets she was holding, spotting the fruit chews at the top of one. Those were her favorite, and she licked her lips. Resisting the urge to tear those open and chow them down was hard. She looked back to her parents, seeing that they were checking out the candy they held as well, whispering to each other. "You two better not be stashing candy in your pockets or something," she teased.

"Mind your own business and keep an eye on your sisters," Dad said, making Mom laugh. A few minutes before they started back home, he told them, "I'm going to head home a little early. Make sure Rex hasn't torn the house to shreds." Maddy was barely paying attention, discussing her sisters' hauls with the same enthusiasm they were.

* * *

Shepard only needed five minutes to put enough distance between them to strip out of the army clothes unseen, where his second costume was already in place. Luckily, the night had been cooler than usual and he hadn't sweated much wearing two sets of clothes. He pulled the mask from his pocket, grinning as he smoothed it out. He put a lot of thought into what exactly he would dress up as to do this, eventually settling on a costume similar to one worn by the killer in one of the most famous horror movies recently. The prank would definitely work best if he was dressed as something the girls would recognize, he figured. He pulled the mask from his pocket, frowning at how stupid it looked. It was a weird humanlike face with much bigger eyes and horrid, jagged teeth. The costume was one of a serial killer from a movie that came out a year earlier, about a deformed human man who went insane after years of insults from everyone that saw him. The mask was uncomfortable, crappy rubber that immediately made him sweat underneath. Besides the mask, he was wearing janitor clothing, since the killer worked as a janitor in the movie. Once Shepard's costume was complete, he took up position in the darkness behind a row of bushes.

Only a few minutes later, Ashley and the kids came into view, the twins smiling from ear to ear while they told Ashley and Maddy about the candy they had. It was late, and they were the only ones on the street, as Shepard had hoped. None of them looked in his direction. Shepard waited until they were about ten feet away, and snapped a twig loudly, making Ashley look back briefly. He waited to make sure she hadn't seen him, grinning when she turned back around and continued walking. He had thought about telling her about his plan, but he didn't trust her to keep it secret or not give away what he was doing. Besides, it was funnier if all of them were genuinely freaked out. Following them at a distance as they walked, every few minutes Shepard would snap a twig, rustle a tree branch or bush, whisper on the edge of their hearing, just trying to make them all tense. Maddy constantly looked around, the twins clutched their buckets of candy tightly, and Ash hurried their pace. After he smashed a bottle on the sidewalk, he allowed a brief glimpse of his mask when Maddy and Jennifer turned around, having to fight not to laugh when their eyes went wide.

He made his move when they reached their house. He maneuvered ahead as they walked, managing to reach the side of the home without anyone seeing him. "…didn't see that?" Maddy was saying as they came close. "It was weird."

"Maddy, be quiet, you're scaring your sisters," Ashley said.

Perfect, Shepard thought with an evil grin. That's exactly the mindset he wanted them in. He turned the corner and jumped into the light, not saying a word. Maddy screamed, Anna as well, hiding behind Ashley. Jennifer ran to the front door and hurried inside. It was Ashley's reaction that surprised him, and not in a good way. She ran at him and threw a hard punch, hitting him right in the nose and putting Shepard on the ground, He began groaning, feeling the first trickles of blood exit his nostrils. "That is not the way this was supposed to go," he said.

"I knew it," Ashley said, gently kicking his leg. "What the hell, Skipper? You're lucky I didn't do worse."

Shepard slowly sat up, taking off the mask. The inside was splattered with blood, already, and he pressed the rubber up to his nose, letting it soak up the blood from his nose. "Damn it, Dad, I was completely freaked out!" Maddy shouted. "That was so mean!"

"Get up, you jerk," Ashley ordered in a harsh tone. "Jennifer ran inside, she's probably hiding under her bed or something. Maddy, Anna, go find your sister." They did so glaring coldly at their father, making Shepard feel even worse. Talk about a prank go wrong, he thought as he watched them step inside. He hurried to his feet before his wife could yell again. When he looked at her, he was surprised to see Ashley smirking at him. "That was pretty funny," she said, trying not to laugh.

Shepard stared at her, mouth agape in surprise. "You knew that was me the entire time, didn't you?"

"Of course, what am I, stupid? You weren't nearly as stealthy as you probably thought you were. The girls probably would have figured it out if I hadn't been hurrying them along so they could never look."

"If you knew what I was doing, you should have helped, or at least not broken my freaking nose," Shepard said, shaking his head.

"Why? Now I'm the good guy. They have no idea that I knew, and all they saw was their mother not hesitate to punch out some freak that jumped out to scare them." Ashley's grin was positively devilish now.

All Shepard could do was shake his head. "That's cruel. Damn it, I need to go stop my nose from bleeding." He walked inside and headed straight for the bathroom.

* * *

Anna was very quiet sneaking out of bed that morning. Everyone else was still asleep, and she wanted them to stay that way. Stepping quietly around the toys on the ground and only opening the bedroom door enough to squeeze through, she continued to step quietly on her way to the dining room. Rex was sleeping near the side of the couch, on the blanket they gave him, legs kicking as he dreamt. The candy was still in the pumpkin-shaped buckets, all of them on the dining room table, surrounded by empty wrappers from all the candy eaten the night before. Anna still felt full, maybe a little sick in her stomach, but she wanted to make sure she could eat as much of her favorite candy as she could, before anyone else did. It was funny last night to watch Dad and Maddy eat so much candy, when it all seemed so never-ending, but a lot of it was gone and now Anna wanted to get everything she liked.

Continuing to be as quiet as she could, Anna poured all the candy out of one of the buckets, onto the table. She picked through it all, putting what she wanted in the bucket she had emptied. That mostly consisted of the Tart Tabs, the chews, and the hard candies. She wasn't a fan of chocolate bars, not so much as the other stuff, but she did grab a few chocolate and coconut bars, the ones she did love. After refilling half of the bucket, feeling a little guilty at the lack of variety she was leaving behind, she did one more sweep for anything she might want. While she was looking, she saw the mask Dad had worn the night before when she scared them all, a few bloody smears on it, frowning.

When Dad took off the mask after Mom punched him, she had been very angry at him. As soon as she saw the person jump out from the side of the house, she had screamed and hid behind Maddy, who was also screaming. She recognized the face and the clothes as the same from that one movie that Mom and Dad didn't let them watch, but Maddy did when they were not home one night. When she saw Dad's face, she wanted to go punch him, too. He had spent the rest of the night apologizing to them all, especially Jennifer, who had hidden under her bed after running inside. They had forgiven him quickly, but still spent the rest of the night making him feel bad. Mom had told her and Jennifer to, so she figured it was okay.

With all the candy she was sure she would want in hand, Anna grinned and stood from the chair she had been sitting on while going through the candy. She was smiling as she turned to sneak back to her room, but that smile disappeared quickly when she saw she was being watched. "Oh, hi daddy," she said, holding the plastic bucket behind her back.

Dad smirked at her. "Hi. What are you doing?"

"Nothing, just looking at the candy."

"Really? Just looking, huh?"

There was no point in lying. Anna knew she wasn't good at it. "I'm sorry."

Dad walked over to her, intimidating. He glared down at her, making Anna bit her bottom lip and look anywhere but into her eyes. He reached behind her and took the candy from her, looking inside. His hand went inside, grabbed a handful, and put it into another of the buckets. He reached inside again and took a few fruit chews for his own and one of the chocolate coconut bars as well. "Okay, go ahead," he said, handing the bucket back.

Anna stared up, confused. "Really? I can have the rest?"

Dad shrugged. "I have my share, the rest of that is all yours. The rest of them didn't wake up in time." He smiled at her, and Anna ran past him to hide her candy before Jennifer woke up. "Hide it somewhere Rex can't get into it," Dad shouted when she was past him.

* * *

**FYI, Tart Tabs are my ME world name for Sweet Tarts.**


	22. Twenty Years (Part One)

**Sorry about the longer than usual delay. Had a few days where I did not feel like writing at all. I'm back now. The final chapter has been split into two parts, since I didn't feel like putting out a 8 or 9 thousand word chapter. This is also a really long chapter, obviously, and if I messed up a bunch of times and didn't catch it please tell me. **

* * *

The first thing Ashley had noticed was how few people were present, both compared to those invited the last time the Council held this ceremony, and compared to the number of civilians that had shown up to watch seven years prior as well. It appeared as if every ambassador and important politician on the Citadel had shown up, but Ashley wasn't nearly informed enough on what politicians called the Citadel home these days to be sure. The thing that angered her most was how many were not invited to the ceremony. Joker had told them he wasn't invited. Miranda, Liara, Jack, and James Vega weren't either. Wrex and Tali were only there as a political courtesy, in their own words. Garrus had only been invited at Shepard's insistence, the only person the Council had agreed to invite that he had insisted on. None of the crew, Chakwas or Traynor or Adams or Daniels and Donnelly or any of the others, had been invited. Ashley suspected that if she wasn't Shepard's wife, she wouldn't have been invited either. There was no speech from Shepard, a bare minimum speech from Councilor Tevos, a longer speech from the human councilor, last name of Bruno, whose first name Ashley couldn't recall. The man had only taken his position recently from long time councilor Hakan Demir. Once the speeches were done, the medals were handed out, and the ceremony was over, a mere hour after it began. That would have made Ashley happy any other time before, but seemed disrespectful in this case. As if everyone had already forgotten the Reapers, and what those that served on the Normandy had sacrificed to stop them.

It was so hard to believe twenty years had passed since that day the Crucible fired. Ashley remembered it vividly. The dark sky and smoldering ruins. Hours upon hours of fighting. The anger she felt when Shepard did not take her with him to join Anderson and the rest in the push to the beam. Taking that anger out on every husk in sight, to the point that some private had to drag her away from a fight. The gut-wrenching despair she felt upon hearing that Hammer had failed to reach the beam, of nearly giving up. Then the blow came that knocked her unconscious. When she woke a few hours later, a dull rhythmic pounding in the back of her head and an unexplained soreness in her chest and shoulder, they told her about the Crucible firing, the Reapers collapsing, their thralls disintegrating before their eyes. None of that had mattered. Her very first question had been, "Where is Commander Shepard?"

Two days passed before they brought him into St. Thomas' Hospital, where Ashley had been forced to stay, laying on a stretcher with everything but his face and shoulders covered. Her face went pale at the sight, and her heart nearly stopped when she saw the full extent of the damage. There was not an inch of the man that had not suffered in some way. Like she told Maddy though, she had been surprisingly calm while sitting by his bedside, no one ever telling her she couldn't. She suspected Admiral Hackett was to thank for that. He woke, he recovered, they went home, and now twenty years had passed, inexplicably. It really shouldn't have been so hard to believe, she only had to look at her now eighteen year old, high school graduate daughter to see that so much time had passed. Maddy was in the audience, holding her sisters hands to make sure they did not go anywhere. It did not seem so long ago that Maddy had been eight, and now her twin freaking daughters were the same age. When did THAT happen? She looked over at her husband. Over the years he had gained a few gray hairs, his face was slightly more weathered, his body had a few scars and injuries that would never fully heal, but he looked almost exactly like the same man he had been when they first met. When she looked at herself in the mirror before they left that morning, she thought she looked damn good, every bit as good as she ever had. All of her friends looked basically the same, some with the same little signs of aging everyone had. Ashley could swear looking at herself and everyone else that they were the same as ever, ready for another impossible mission to help save the galaxy.

Ashley and Shepard stuck behind as the politicians and onlookers filed out, waiting with their friends and children. Now it was time for the real celebration. "That was every bit as disrespectful as I thought it would be," Wrex said. "What a waste of time. I should have sold my invitation to one of the others."

"I can't believe they didn't let you speak, Shepard," Tali complained. Her husband Gran and their two children, Narol and Zaeli, had decided to stay behind at their hotel. "Bosh'tet politicians."

"You should have expected it just based off how many of the Normandy crew didn't even get invited," Garrus said. "I mean, when one of the most important Turian generals, and one of the soldiers that was there with Shepard every step of the way, can't get an invitation, you know the Council didn't really care."

"Let's not bother talking about it," Shepard said, rubbing the back of his neck. "That's why we sent out our own invitations, right? So let's go see the others and celebrate. It's been twenty years, we're all still here, and the Reapers never came back. So let's party!"

The five of them cheered. "I couldn't have said it better myself, Skipper," Ashley said.

Shepard's grin was ear to ear when he walked into hotel's event room, reserved for their use that night. Everyone else had already arrived, and apparently were well on their way to being drunk if the whooping and hollering they did at his entrance was any indication. A penthouse suite in the hotel had been reserved for the children, which consisted of Shepard's daughters, Tali's two kids, Liara's twelve year old daughter Aetia, Joker's ten year old son Tommy, Traynor's nine year old daughter Jane, and Jack's eight year old son Jason. Ashley always said she still couldn't believe Jack was not only a mom, but a damn good one, better than any of them. She somehow managed it without changing at all, too. Shepard felt a little guilty about forcing the care of the younger kids on the three oldest, those being Maddy, Zaeli, and Narol, but they had agreed to watch them, and swore that it was no trouble. They had a family friendly get together planned for the next day, before everyone went home, but that night, the adults were going to be able to let loose, and judging by the others already in the event room, they were well on their way.

It was only ten minutes later that Shepard was sipping at a glass of whiskey, cornered by Liara and Tali, both women talking very fast as they recalled a mission during the hunt for Saren. Shepard had a very hard time keeping up, and was glad when the story ended without them noticing he was barely paying attention. "By the Goddess, I can't believe we survived all that," Liara said, shaking her head while she grinned. "If you had told me back then that later we would be standing around laughing about all this, I would have told you never, not in a million years."

"Wrex did tell you that, after Noveria," Tali said, sipping her drink, some quarian specialty Shepard didn't know and obviously couldn't drink. Her voice was already beginning to slur. The quarian woman had always been a lightweight. "You sent him flying into the Mako with your biotics, and said that next time someone made a joke at your expense you would kill them. We were all scared of you after that."

Liara frowned in embarrassment. "Well, my mother had just died. I don't remember what he said, but I'm sure he deserved it."

"You gave me the coldest glare I've ever gotten in my life when I made a similar joke after the Battle for the Citadel," Shepard chimed in. "If I wasn't in a hospital bed, you probably would have done the same thing to me."

"When did this get together turn into a reason to poke fun at me!" Liara shouted. Pointing a finger accusingly across the room, she added, "Why don't we make fun of how nervous Samantha always was during the Reaper War?"

"We will, eventually," Shepard said. "Right Tali?"

"Oh definitely," Tali said, the humor evident in her voice. "I've got a few stories there, and I wasn't even around for her most embarrassing moments."

Shepard finished the little bit of whiskey in his glass, realizing he had finished it far too quickly. "I'm going to get something to eat, and see what Ash is up to," he said, taking his leave of Tali and Liara. Two large tables had been placed against one wall, covered with platters of food edible. Every dish was requested beforehand, so everyone would have something they wanted to eat. Shepard made a beeline for the dish he had requested, the five medium rare T-bone steaks sitting on a massive plate.

* * *

Jack laughed heartily at the joke, pushing a lock of her short hair out of her eyes. Ashley didn't think the joke was that funny, but she laughed anyway. Then again, she had never found Vega very funny, and suspected Jack found it funny because of the amount of alcohol she had consumed. In her own words, "Tonight I'm going to forget I have a kid and get black out drunk." At the time Ashley thought she had said it just for show, even as much as she changed she tried to be the same as always around them, but she never actually did most of what she said. Tonight was different apparently.

Vega had not consumed any alcohol that Ashley had seen, sipping on a cola while he continued to talk about how bad he was at married life, his wife of a year and a half , Karina, at his side. She was a very pretty woman, with dark hair curling below her shoulders and a slim, yet full figure, and to hear Vega tell it she was a fun, outgoing woman, but she was definitely intimidated in the presence of the rest of them. That was expected, and always proved to be the case with every new spouse at these get-togethers. She was nice enough, but Ashley wouldn't care to get to know her very well until they stuck together for a while, which she hoped they would. She was sick of having to learn the name of whoever Vega was with every time she saw him. "Come on, Williams, that's funny!" Vega said.

"If you say so, James." Ashley saw Shepard walking over to the food.

"Aw, screw you then. Come on, babe," Vega said, walking away with one arm around his wife. The slight limp from the injury to his knee was quite noticeable. The big man claimed he was still more than capable of serving in the field, and apparently had done so with little drop off.

"Don't be a baby, come back!" Ashley shouted, laughing when Vega flipped his middle finger up in her direction.

"He doesn't like it when you don't laugh at his jokes," Miranda said, smirking. She had been silent for a few minutes now, typical of her. She was at heart an analytical person, who couldn't help the way she observed others. "Looks like Shepard is already on the verge of a buzz."

Of course, Ashley thought. Skipper was not a drinker, had never been one, but put him around the rest of his friends and you would swear he was a constant drunk. "Meh, whatever. How are you doing, Miranda? You never talk about yourself, even after all these years, not until someone forces you." She certainly looked good enough. The Alliance researcher didn't look a day older than the first time Ashley had seen her, back after the destruction of the Collector Base. Ashley's earlier feelings of looking just as good as she ever had were quickly dissipating in comparison to the never aging beauty of her secretive friend.

"Habit that comes with the job, I suppose," Miranda said. Much to the surprise of many, she had never walked away from the Alliance, and headed many of the most important research projects of the last twenty years, everything from medical advances to improved weaponry to security encryption that made Alliance communications arguably the most difficult in Council Space to crack. Obviously the majority of those projects were as secret as secret could be, and Miranda could say nothing while working on them and with some could say nothing years after the projects were completed. "If you're thinking of asking what I'm working on at the moment, you know my answer."

"No, I wouldn't dream of it. Something involving controlling our own Reapers I'm sure. How's Oriana, if you won't talk about yourself?"

That made Miranda smile, as any talk of her younger sister usually did. "Good. She just gave birth to her second son, and third child all together about, four months ago I believe. His name is Isaac. I don't know why she liked that name, but I knew better than to argue with her about that again."

Despite the smile on her face and the joy in her eyes, there was a small bitterness hidden there as well. Despite hundreds of millions of credits and the best medicinal researchers humanity had being dedicated for near fifteen years to finding a way to make an infertile woman fertile, nothing had come of that effort. Miranda had been breathless with joy when she told Shepard and Ashley that Oriana was pregnant for the first time, but she did admit her jealousy a few hours and a few drinks later. In replacement of a child of her own, Miranda basically treated Oriana like a daughter, and the age difference was enough that it wasn't too strange. It was a strange balance the two had, between Miranda's mothering doting and the sisterly bond between the two. "Yet you still argued with her, I'm sure."

"I swear, I didn't. Not about Isaac anyway. Oh, he's so cute, I'm glad the superior genetics our father forced on us was good for that much anyway." Miranda still said the word _father_ with more than a little scorn when talking about her own, but she had moved on years ago. The man was dead, she and her sister were safe, and both were living lives they loved.

"Oh God, there you go bragging about your genetics again. I don't want to hear it," Ashley joked. Raising her glass, still three-quarters full of the wine she had poured earlier, she said, "Here's to constantly worrying about our sisters." Sisterhood had been the ice breaker that made the two good friends. Both were older sisters, after all.

Miranda clanged her glass against Ashley's. "And how."

* * *

Maddy did not have a problem with the high pitched yelling and squealing in the room, but he could tell by their body language that Zaeli and Narol were growing agitated. She couldn't help but laugh at them. "What?" Narol asked, irritation in his voice.

"It's so obvious you two never had younger siblings," she told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, wincing again when Joker's son laughed and ran past them, followed by Maddy's twin sisters. Tommy was the ringleader of the chaos so far, reminding Maddy so much of his father. Every bit the wiseass, looked just the same, loved to be the center of attention and pretend he hated it. The rest of the younger children had followed his lead so far, with Maddy, Zaeli, Narol, and Aetia spending most of their time talking while watching the younger kids.

"You are so irritated right now," Maddy told Narol. "I can tell."

Narol snorted. "Screw you." He walked over to one of the large tables in the penthouse suite, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box he and his sister were sharing. There were two levo pizzas, plain cheese and pepperoni since those were the only things that could be agreed upon, and one dextro pizza with toppings that looked like pepperoni, red peppers, onions, and a type of meat. Maddy loved her pizza loaded with toppings, and if she wasn't absolutely sure she couldn't eat it she would have snatched a slice of that pizza.

Aetia called the younger kids over to where she sat in front of a large television, showing them the video game she was playing. It was a kart racing game, but Maddy didn't play video games very often so she didn't know the name. The characters in the miniature karts were all some type of humanoid animals, which she thought was strange. The kids were enraptured, and within a few minutes, four were holding controllers, with Tommy and Zaeli waiting their turn. Aetia went to the small refrigerator and grabbed a soda, before approaching Maddy, a smile on her face. "You graduated this year, right?" she asked. Maddy and Aetia got along very well, the asari girl much more mature than her age would suggest, especially for an asari. Maddy knew a little about asari, how they did not reach maturity for more than a century, but even at twelve years old Aetia acted more mature than she expected.

"Yep. On to college now," Maddy said. She and Aetia had not yet gotten to talk outside of greeting each other, and she was glad they finally had a chance.

"Awesome! Where are you going?"

"Harrison University, a school on Amaterasu. I could have gotten into a college further from home, but I like my home." It was true, Maddy had been accepted into schools on Earth, Mars, and a couple of prestigious schools on two different colonies. She just wanted to stay on Amaterasu, at least for now. Harrison University as prestigious in its own rights, their architecture program ranked eighth among all human colleges. Since that's what she decided she wanted to go to college to learn, that was obviously a deciding factor. "How about you? I can't pretend I know how Asari education goes."

Aetia rolled her eyes. "I start middle school next year. We're basically the same as anyone else, except that when we get to college most of us stay there for a lot longer than humans or anyone else does."

"Not looking forward to middle school?" Maddy asked.

"No," Aetia said, deadly serious.

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I'm just not excited." Aetia shrugged. "I'll get over it, I guess. I don't have much choice."

Maddy thought Aetia's attitude was strange, but decided not to press. Shouts came from in front of the television, shouts of joy from Jason, who had won the race, and shouts of frustration from the other three racers. Narol, Zaeli, and Tommy took the place of the three that lost, and Maddy walked over to her sisters, who both pouted as they watched the screen. "What's wrong?" she asked Anna and Jennifer.

"Jason cheated," Anna muttered.

"How did he cheat?"

"He pushed me," Jennifer said. "I was winning and he pushed me so I would mess up. When I fell to the side, I bumped into Anna and messed her up, too."

That sounded like Jason. Maddy didn't know Jack's son that well, but he struck her as a fiery, fiercely competitive kid. What else would he be, with Jack as a mom? "How about this? When the next race is over, if he wins again, you two can play again. If he's winning, I'll scare him or something so he messes up. If one of you are winning and he tries to cheat again, I'll stop him. Okay?" A devilish smile formed on both the twins' faces, and they nodded.

As Maddy expected, Jason won the second race, this time shouting in Narol's ear near the end to pull ahead and win. Narol skulked as he walked away, while his older sister taunted him. Aetia, Jennifer, and Samantha's daughter Jane, a very smart, very pretty girl, took the place of the losers, while Maddy took up position near Jason. She watched the screen carefully, watching as the lead racer switched at least four times in the first two laps. The constantly changing colors messed with her eyes, but when the final lap came upon them, and Jennifer took the lead, Jason right behind her. She saw the youngest of the kids lean a little closer, preparing to distract Jennifer so he could win again. Right when he went to nudge Jennifer with his shoulder, Maddy grabbed Jason's shoulders forcefully, startling him and making him drop his controller. By the time he picked it back up, everyone else had passed him and Jennifer was jumping up and down, celebrating her win. "Goddangit! Freaking bullcrap!" Jason shouted. "You jerk, you freaking did that on purpose. You freaking suck!"

Maddy giggled at the obviously Jack-inspired language Jack's son used, and so did both Zaeli and Narol. All three had seen their parents admonish Jack for cursing around them, and knew that Jason was using the censored versions her mother had forced herself to get used to using. The other children broke out into shocked laughter. "You're right. I'll tell you what, we were about to call room service and have dessert brought up. To make it up to you, I'll let you get whatever dessert you want from the menu. Truce?" Jason's eyes widened eagerly, and he nodded much the same. Maddy smirked as the incident was quickly forgotten and a new round of challengers picked up controllers to challenge Jennifer. Bribes, they always worked with children.

* * *

The party was getting loud and the party goers very drunk now. Music was blasting from speakers in the walls, typical club music that Ashley found only made her developing headache much worse, and the crew was dancing, the quality of that dancing varying greatly. Samantha and Tali were dancing in proximity to each other, with Tali's husband Gran dancing near them, all three moving beautifully to the music. Jack was dancing very violently by herself, arms flailing and movements hasty and jerky, though she was still a pretty good dancer. Vega and his wife were dancing very seductively in reaction to each other. The quality in dancing dropped after that. Liara was too drunk to dance very well, stumbling when she tried anything that wasn't simple. Garrus kind of swayed in place in one corner, a drink still in hand. Wrex was roaring laughter as he danced idiotically, a sight that even after fifteen minutes made Ashley laugh as loud as when he started. She had never imagined Wrex dancing, but figured that's what it would look like if she ever had.

Shepard had tried a few times to get Ashley to dance with him, but she was feeling a little buzzed and retained enough control to know she would look bad trying to dance right then. He was bobbing his head, in rhythm for once, she thought with a grin, as he talked to Joker and Miranda. The funniest dancing had to be Ken and Gabby, who were dancing with each other and looking very bad. Ashley knew from previous parties that those two were not very good dancers, Add the alcohol and they were a train wreck that had anyone not focused on their own dancing watching and laughing. "Ashley!" a wizened old voice shouted above the music. She turned in the direction of the shout and saw a slightly off balance Karen Chakwas coming her way. "Why aren't you dancing? Is Shepard really still that bad at it?" She giggled at her own joke.

"He's not that bad anymore," Ashley said, surprised at how hoarse her voice was. "I'm getting a killer headache right now, though. If John wants to dance, he can dance, just not with me."

Chakwas giggled again. "John. I could never call Shepard John. He'll always be Shepard to me. Commander Shepard, the man responsible for all of us sitting in a huge event hall getting drunk twenty years later. The man, the myth, the legend!"

Ashley smiled at that. "That's a good one. You'll have to tell him that."

Chakwas looked behind her. "Good idea. When he's done dancing with Jack and Liara, I'll tell him."

Ashley looked past the doctor, to where Jack and Liara were dancing VERY close to Shepard, rubbing against him every so often. Liara had apparently regained a little coordination in the past few minutes, and Jack was still moving as aggressively as ever. Shepard had a goofy smile on his face, his eyes half lidded. Every few seconds, the two women would rub against him for a brief moment, breaking contact immediately afterwards. As stupid as it was, Ashley found herself feeling jealous, and began striding over to them.

Liara stopped dancing when she saw Ashley approaching, smiling and walking her way. "Ashley, you going to join us? John is so much better at dancing than he used to be?" Her voice was slurred, as expected.

"I was actually hoping I could steal my husband from you two."

"Pssh, get your own man!" Jack said. "Shepard's taken." When Ashley glared at her, Jack backed off, raising her hands. "Fine, fine. Shit, take a joke."

Once the other women were gone, Shepard held out his hand, pulling Ashley close when she took it. The two began swaying a little too slowly to the music, but even drunk she had to admit he was a better dancer than when they first met. She knew that already, but it said something about how well she had trained him that he was still able to keep his coordination when wasted. "Having fun, Skipper?" she asked him, serious expression on her face.

Shepard noticed she did not look that happy. "What?"

"You just had two women rubbing up on you."

"Oh come on," Shepard slurred. "I was dancing. I asked you a bunch of times, you didn't want to. I knew dancing with someone else would get you jealous."

Ashley nearly backed away from her husband. "I was not jealous."

"Yes, yes you were," Shepard taunted. "I danced with someone else, and you immediately came over and interrupted. I knew you cared."

She wanted to argue, but she knew he was right. Besides, what was the point. "Fine, Skipper, you win," she said, smiling at his stupid laugh afterwards. The two kept swaying to the music, and Ashley felt her headache lessen.

* * *

Shepard wasn't sure how long the party had gone on, but he knew he had way too much to drink. He stumbled along, using Ashley for support, as they made their way through the hotel hallway towards their room. A loud thump came from behind them, and Ash turned them around to look. Samantha was standing over Garrus, who looked to have passed out. "I can't carry him, not like this," Samantha said as they approached.

"Alright, take John, I'll handle Garrus," Ashley said.

"You sure?" Sam asked.

Shepard draped an arm around Sam's shoulders when he was passed to her. "Yeah, I'm sure, take him," Ashley ordered, crouching to try and wake Garrus up.

He continued stumbling along, Traynor breathing somewhat heavily as she labored along, bearing his weight. "You got strong," Shepard slurred.

"Thanks, Shepard. The Alliance military does that," she said. "Even for tech geeks who usually aren't in the field."

Shepard's laugh was much goofier and more awkward than he intended. Damn alcohol, this is why he didn't do this very often. "You're a damn good soldier, Sam, and an even better person." Sam blushed at the compliment. "What are you up to lately? I didn't really talk to you much outside of family crap tonight."

"You really want to have a conversation about my career right now, when you won't remember any of it?" she joked.

"I'm not that drunk," Shepard insisted. "You still serving on the _Nueve Reinas_ or are you back in the labs again?"

"Back in the labs, thank God," Sam said. "I got used to serving on ships a very long time ago, but I still prefer solid ground any day of the week. I'm actually part of a team working on a project Miranda is heading, have been for three months now."

"Really? You probably won't talk about it anymore than she would," Shepard said.

Sam smirked. "Nope. Not unless I wanted to lose my job and end up transferred to some crap posting in the middle of nowhere. Which Miranda is more than capable of doing, without even mentioning the physical harm she can inflict on me. I can fight when pressed, but I'm no match for her."

"You just call me, I'll handle her," Shepard insisted. When Sam still didn't talk, shaking her head, he said, "Alright, I get it. Well, good for you. Whatever you end up doing, I hope I get to reap the benefits."

Shepard was beginning to fade to sleep when they reached the hotel room he was sharing with Ashley, and by the time Samantha set him on the bed he was fighting to stay asleep. The soft pillow beneath his head and the comfort of the blanket as it was spread over him was too much to fight, and Shepard surrendered, closing his eyes.

* * *

**Part 1 of the celebration is over. Next: The final chapter, a Normandy crew trip to various spots around the Citadel. Hope you all enjoyed. :)**


	23. Twenty Years (Part Two)

**Well, here it is, the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, favorited, and anyone at all that enjoyed the story, everyone who said words of praise and pointed out errors and gave constructive criticism. I appreciate it all. Hope you enjoy. Like with every long chapter, don't hesitate to point it out if I did a bad job editing or contradicted something I wrote earlier. I check, but sometimes don't catch it all.**

* * *

The sound of small feet along the carpet and not so quiet whispers woke Maddy, and a few seconds were needed for her to remember where she was. She turned her head and saw both her sisters still sleeping next to her in the large bed. Blinking as her eyes adjusted to the early morning light, she saw Aetia and Tommy in front of the refrigerator, which was wide open. Maddy carefully removed herself from the _very_ comfortable blanket she was under and stood from the bed. Aetia looked up as she approached. "Sorry, we didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's fine," she said, checking the nearest clock and seeing it was eight in the morning. "Time to get up anyway. What's left over from last night?" Her stomach was already rumbling fiercely. There was still a sizable amount of the food and sweets they ordered from room service left in the refrigerator, including half of the positively massive slice of chocolate cake Jason had decided on after Maddy made him lose the race on the video game. As expected, he had forgotten his anger and was her best friend the rest of the night. Just looking at the cake made her feel less hungry than before, and when Tommy pulled the cake out she groaned. It wasn't her place to tell him what he could or could not eat though. She settled on orange and a small, single-serving sized box of cereal for herself. Aetia ended up eating nothing, drinking a glass of orange juice. Anna and Jennifer woke while Maddy ate, and she retrieved cereal and bowls for them as well.

They were the only ones still in the penthouse suite. Jack had been the first to retrieve her child, picking up Jason to bring back to their room. There had been no plans ahead of time about who would be taking their kids back to their rooms overnight, except Maddy being told by her parents that she and her sisters would be staying in the suite that night, so Maddy had just stayed up until two that morning, when Aetia and Tommy had fallen asleep on the second bed in the room. Jane was picked up about fifteen minutes after Jason, surprisingly upset at her mom taking her from the suite. Maddy had watched, amused, as Samantha sweet talked the little girl and carried her out, nodding when Samantha thanked her. She really liked Samantha, though they did not know each other that well. Mom told her one time that she was a lot like Samantha, and she guessed that was kind of true, though she wasn't half as smart.

After Jane was gone, Gran came to take Zaeli and Narol to their room, adjacent to the one he and Tali were using, leaving Maddy, Anna, Jennifer, Aetia, and Tommy. They stayed up another hour, playing a board game and watching the impressive wide screen television, the biggest Maddy had ever seen, and Aetia and Tommy went to bed within minutes of each other. Anna and Jennifer had been fighting sleep for half an hour by that point as well, and once they were in bed, Maddy read a book until she felt confident no one else was coming, and joined her sisters. The bed had felt unbelievable, her head sinking in the pillow, the blanket woven gold and impossibly comforting. It was easily the best bed she had ever slept in, and as she willingly surrendered to sleep she wondered why she had never slept in so amazing a bed before.

Liara came to the suite an hour after she woke, helping a clearly struggling Joker along. The Alliance pilot had always been more than capable of getting around on his own, at least as long as Maddy had known him, but she suspected the party from the night before was holding the normally energetic pilot back. The grunted hellos and orders to his son confirmed his hangover. Maddy wondered how many of her parents' friends would be too debilitated to take the tour of the Citadel they had planned that day. Hell, she wondered if her own parents would be that debilitated. Not Mom, she figured, Mom controlled herself. Dad was the one that would be shuffling slowly along and wincing at every voice that wasn't a whisper. Aetia went with her mother at the same time, saying goodbye and leaving the suite while Liara insisted on paying for Maddy's help the previous night. The oldest Shepard daughter tried her best to politely decline, but Liara insisted that the next time Maddy checked her bank account a well earned reward would have been transferred into it. Maddy wondered how exactly Liara could do that without Maddy's consent, but she knew Liara had been someone very important for years in the information trading world, and decided it was best to just accept the gift. She could use the credits when she left for college and actually had to worry about her own finances. Just because she was staying on her home planet didn't mean she was staying at home itself.

* * *

"Damn it, John, wake up!" Ashley yelled, pushing her husband as he lay in bed. The groans coming from him in response only made her angry. "We were supposed to go get the girls from their room thirty minutes ago, wake the hell up now!" She had been trying to force him out of bed for nearly ten minutes straight, after an hour or so of telling him passively that it was time to wake up. Angrily, she eventually shoved him so hard he rolled out of the bed. When Shepard stood up, disbelief on his face, she said, "If you had gotten up when I told you, I wouldn't have had to do that."

The girls ended up coming to their room first, while their father was still putting on a shirt and brushing his teeth. They never asked why she and Shepard never came to the penthouse suite, and Ashley was glad not to give them the details. She was already considering having a serious talk with her husband about not being a complete jackass when celebrating with their friends. Once she and Shepard were ready for the day, they left the hotel room, headed downstairs, and waited in the lobby for the others to come down. Jack and Jason were already waiting, as were Samantha and Jane. The others joined them, and soon they were on their way out. Ashley noticed Joker was limping, and wondered if he was just sore or had broken something the previous night. Their first stop that day was the Corinthus Museum on the Presidium, the largest museum in Council Space, which had opened a wing three years earlier dedicated to the Reaper War. Ashley, Liara, and all of the children had insisted that the museum be their first stop, as none of them had gone before.

The section dedicated to the Reaper War was massive, much larger than Ashley would ever have thought, at least a third a size of the rest of the museum. Pretty much as soon as they entered most everyone split up, many of the younger kids going off with Garrus and Wrex, who insisted they would show them all the cool stuff, but Maddy stayed with her parents, which surprised Ashley. She figured her oldest daughter would go off on her own, or follow Jack around. The twins joined Samantha and her daughter.

Seeing the exhibits around her, Ashley was constantly awash with memories of the fight. Whenever she snuck a peek at Shepard, she could see that this place was having the same affect on him. This was their lives, given a place for generations to see, to remember their sacrifice. It lent an unbelieving nature to it all, made it all seem mythological. Especially regarding Shepard, who had a massive exhibit dedicated solely to him. A giant statue, the head stopping mere inches from the ceiling, depicting Shepard pointing at someone or something, chiseled of marble, the armor painted to resemble his N7 armor. Ashley smiled, remembering how irritated Shepard was when he came home after the statue had been chiseled. It had only taken two days, one for the basic model and another for the details, but he had hated every minute of it. "Think about it, you're going to be remembered for as long as it takes before someone conquers the Citadel and decided to blast the thing to pieces," Ashley had joked. Shepard had laughed at that.

Ashley stopped the moment she reached the section dedicated to those that gave their lives in the war. The large memorial from the Normandy SR2 had been placed in this section, and next to it were various pictures of men and women she recognized and remembered as if she had seen them yesterday. Her eyes were immediately drawn to one of the largest pictures, of Kaidan Alenko smiling, saluting the person taking the picture. She knew who he had been saluting, because she had taken the picture. A few tears formed in her eyes, which she blinked away. She didn't realize she had walked to within a few feet of the picture until a hand found its way to her shoulder. Startled, she turned around, seeing that the hand belonged to Maddy. "You okay, Mom?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, um, I'm fine," she said, hardly convincing. "Just remembering lost friends."

Maddy moved closer to the picture of Kaidan, reading the small print below it. "Kaidan Alenko. I've heard you and Dad talk about him a lot. You both really respected him."

Ashley nodded. "He was a very good man."

"Virmire. When was that?" Maddy asked. Her lack of knowledge on the mission that to this day changed Ashley's life more than any other, and was still responsible for nights awake, searching her soul and wondering if what transpired had been a betrayal of everything she knew at the time, did not come as a surprise. Many of the finer details of the mission to stop Saren went unknown, untaught, uncared for. Kaidan's sacrifice, and the decision Shepard made was one of those details. "That was when Dad helped stop Sovereign during the Battle for the Citadel, right?"

Ashley nodded again. "The Council had a team investigating leads on Saren. That investigation led them to Virmire, where they sent a message asking for backup. That backup was the Normandy and your dad." Had Maddy really never heard about Virmire from her parents before?

"And you," Maddy said proudly. "And Garrus and Wrex and Aunt Tali and Liara. And Joker flying of course."

There was no way Ashley could resist smiling at her daughter wanting to give them all the same credit Shepard received. Just like her father, in fact Ashley was sure Maddy only said that because her father was always saying how he did not deserve so much individual credit. Shepard was probably disgusted when he saw that statue. "Yeah, and us. Once we arrived, we found out the Council team had discovered Saren's base of operations, and he was breeding Krogan. This was before the genophage was cured, so this was a very big deal. Anyway, the Salarian leading the team, Captain Kirrahe, came up with a plan where he and his team would assault the front of the facility, freeing your dad to lead a team to the rear of the facility. The ultimate objective was to place a bomb that would destroy the facility."

"Were you on the team Dad brought to the base?" Maddy asked. She knew her dad typically worked in squads of three or four.

"No," Ashley said. "Kirrahe asked for a soldier from your father's team to help with the assault on the front of the base, and I was chosen because of my abilities as a soldier and squad leader. Kaidan was in your father's squad because of his technical abilities. Once the bomb was in place, your dad began to make his way to my position. The squad I was with was pinned down, and we needed support." Ashley took a deep breath, the memory returning to her, seeing the salarians next to her drop left and right, the geth pushing ever closer. "Your dad was about halfway to my position when a geth dropship flew past him, landing troops at the bomb's location. Kaidan armed the bomb, and your dad only had time to get to one of us and evacuate. Whoever he didn't go for would be left behind."

Ashley didn't have to say what the consequence of being left behind was. She didn't have to say what happened from that point either. "Oh," Maddy said, biting her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that happened, I wouldn't have brought it up."

"Don't be sorry," Ashley insisted. "I was bothered for years about what happened on Virmire, but I've made my peace."

"Did Dad ever tell you why he chose you rather than Kaidan?"

"Yes," Ashley answered. "I was furious, distraught. Basically the moment we were clear of the blast I began ranting and raving about how it should have been Kaidan that your dad saved. I accused him of only saving me because of the feelings he had towards me, which by that point I knew he did feel towards me. I'll be honest, I'm still convinced that was a big part of it, but he still insists that he saved me because he had to make a snap decision, and felt I was the more valuable member of the team. Even if I didn't believe it, I could see that he truly believed in me, had a confidence that even I didn't about myself. That was when I was sure I was in love with him, I think."

Maddy just stared, nearly speechless. "That's so sad, but its so sweet," she said. Ashley let out a sob-stifled giggle. The grief was returning with the memories, and Maddy grimaced. "I'm sorry. I'll be quiet now."

Ashley walked forward and hugged her daughter tightly. "Like I said, I've made my peace. I rose through the ranks, eventually became a Spectre, helped your father rid the galaxy of the Reapers forever, and here I am today, with my husband and my children and my wonderful life. I like to think that I proved your dad's choice that day as being the right one." Stepping back, Ashley took a deep breath. "Let's go, I'm sure we can find happier memories in this place."

* * *

Shepard was trying to keep up with Anna and Jennifer as they sprinted from exhibit to exhibit, but he was finding it difficult. Something had happened to him last night that had his ribs feeling like they were smashed. Try as he might to remember, he couldn't. The last thing he remembered was Samantha helping him along to his room, telling him she was working on a project that Miranda headed. After that everything was a blank. Anna ran back to grab Shepard's hand, pulling him along with all the strength her little arms could manage. Jennifer was standing in front of a display case where large models of various ships were protected by a layer of very strong, near unbreakable glass. Shepard recognized every single one of them. "Daddy, do you know these ships?" Jennifer asked when her twin sister dragged him close. He nodded. "What about this one?" she asked, predictably pointing at the biggest ship.

"That's the _Destiny Ascension_. It was the flagship of the Council's defense fleet, and fought both in the Battle for the Citadel and the Battle for Earth. It was retired one year after the Reapers were defeated." He didn't use the words destroyed or killed when talking about the Reapers with them, for some reason. It was stupid, the twins knew their parents were soldiers.

"And this one?" Anna asked, pointing to one near the bottom of the display case.

"That's the _Neema_, a Quarian ship. That's the ship Aunt Tali served on after she left the first Normandy."

"And the best damn warship in the Quarian fleet," Tali said as she approached from behind. "She fought the Geth above Rannoch, and the Reapers above Earth. Admiral Han'Gerrel became a legend on that ship, the bosh'tet."

Shepard nearly said something to Tali about using that word, but considering he didn't even know how it translated, let alone the twins, he let it slide. "The Quarians fought the Reapers above Earth too?" Anna asked.

"Of course," Tali said, crouching to the twins' eye level. "Every race in the galaxy did. Turians, Asari, Krogans, Quarians, we all helped humans fight the Reapers above Earth. Your father made that happen."

The twins beamed with pride, which made Shepard do the same. "Why did everyone help fight for Earth if its just a human planet?"

"Because in order to beat the Reapers, we had to use something called the Crucible, which needed the Citadel to work. The Citadel's always been here above Earth in your lifetime, it was already here when Maddy was born too, but it used to be in a different system. It was moved here, which is why everyone had to help fight above Earth. It was the most important battle in the war, and without everyone working together, we all would have lost."

Jennifer continued looking at the ships. "Look, look, there's two Normandys!" Near the top of the display, both the SR1 and SR2 were on display, though they were the same size, which was a mistake. The SR2 had been at least twice the size of the original Normandy. " Why are there two? You can name two ships the same thing?"

"The original Normandy was destroyed, and another one was built," Shepard explained. "That's the Normandy you know, the one we took you on." That had been a year ago. The Normandy was so much different than it had been back then. It was retired, docked at a hangar along with other famous war vessels. The ship that had served as his headquarters through the most important victories the galaxy ever won, now an outdated relic rusting away, nothing more than a hulking memorial that would never fly in a fight again. Shepard wished he had the money to buy it for himself.

"Those were my babies, right there," Joker said, hobbling up to them. He was looking better than he had early, but still not as good as normal, Shepard saw. "Being an Alliance pilot has never been the same since I left the Normandy. Just looking at the models reminds me of how many times I saved your ass, Commander."

"Butt, Joker. Saved my butt."

"Come on, they're eight," he protested. Shepard glared at him. "Okay, sorry."

Tommy joined the twins, staring at the model ships. "That's crazy, how did the first one get destroyed? Dad is such a good pilot."

"I see your father has been telling you lies," Tali joked.

Shepard couldn't help but laugh, especially when he saw Joker's frown. "Hey, he may not have seemed like he knew what he was doing, but it all worked out in the end."

"Oh screw you all," Joker said. "We all know I should be the one with the massive statue."

Jennifer grabbed Shepard's hand next, leading him in the direction of Wrex, Garrus, and Liara, who were talking while they looked at a display dedicated to Cerberus and their infamous role in the Reaper War. Shepard had liked that about this museum. Most the time people only wanted to remember the good things, and chose to forget the bad, but that wasn't the case here. The Reapers had one of the largest sections in the wing, with every piece of information known about them. "Shepard, glad you wandered over," Wrex said. "We were just discussing your friends here."

"They were never my friends," Shepard said forcefully.

Garrus chuckled. "I was just telling Wrex the same thing. Having served with you during the hunt for Saren, the mission to stop the Collectors, and during the Reaper War, I can say that I have never seen you more miserable than during the Collector mission. Like waking up was some great struggle that required all your strength."

"A lot of that had to do with…" he looked down at Anna and Jennifer. "You know, what happened."

"Which part?" Garrus joked. Shepard could only smirk at that.

"I can second that part," Liara said. "When you came to see me on Illium, you were almost a completely different person. I've never seen you so beaten down."

"What happened? What was wrong with Dad?" Jennifer asked.

Shepard made sure to glare at everyone, so they knew what not to tell. "Well, your dad led us to a planet named Horizon, where we fought a really bad species named Collectors," Garrus explained. "They did some terrible things on that planet, and while we were there your dad saw your mom for the first time in a long time. They fought, and because of that and what happened to the people on Horizon your dad was very sad."

Anna scrunched her face. "No way. Mom and Dad never fight. You're making that up."

Wrex laughed. "You are just too young to have seen it. Your parents used to get into some fierce arguments. I'm surprised they never came to blows."

"They did, you just never saw it," Garrus joked.

"What? When? Who won and why did no one tell me?"

"Twice that I know of," Liara said, thinking. "Once after Shepard blew up the Collector Base, and again after she rejoined the Normandy during the Reaper War. I don't think there was ever a winner though."

"There never was a winner. They'd just go at each other until they ran out of steam," Garrus chimed in. "And I guess you never saw the fight a few hours before we assaulted Cerberus HQ."

Liara narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "I don't think so."

Wrex grunted, exasperated. "How did no one ever tell me? Damn it, we had that bet back on the first Normandy on who would win a fight between the two! I could have made all kinds of credits off this!"

Anna and Jennifer were both completely confused. "Why would mommy and daddy fight?" Jennifer asked. "Were you mad at each other, daddy?"

"Thanks a lot guys," Shepard groaned. "No, we weren't mad at each other, sweetheart, and we never fought, we sparred, which is like practice fighting. When soldiers are on a ship together for a certain amount of time, they usually start sparring with each other so they keep their fighting skills at their best. Your mom and I were the only competition for each other, so only by sparring with each other could we stay sharp."

If the twins really understood all that, they didn't say, simply nodding. "I bet mommy won and you just don't want to admit it," Anna said, which made Wrex, Garrus, and Liara laugh heartily. Shepard could only rub the back of his neck.

"That's absolutely right," Ashley said, startling Shepard when she spoke from behind him. "I was always better one on one than your dad, even if he won't admit it."

Shepard crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Oh really? Need I remind you what happened last time we sparred?" He grinned when Ashley looked away, a blush creeping up her cheeks. The last time they sparred, they ended up rolling around the back yard of their house, devouring each other's tongues, moments away from clawing their clothes off when the twins saw them.

"Damn it, I demand to know who is winning these fights!" Wrex said. "I could have ten thousand credits coming my way!"

Shepard was interested now. "Who'd you bet on to win?"

"Are you serious? Ashley, of course." No surprise there. "I'm sure she won, too, even if no one will admit it."

"Wrex, I'm telling you, it wasn't a fight where someone won," Garrus argued.

"With talk like that, I know Ashley won," Wrex said, smiling. "I expect my payment before you leave the Citadel, from both of you." He stared at Garrus and Liara both.

Anna was shuffling back and forth on her feet, and when no one else said anything she said, "I bet mommy won, too." Jennifer nodded her agreement.

* * *

Everyone else had left, but Shepard found himself lingering, staring at pictures next to the marble statue that had been made of him, pictures he insisted be included in the section honoring him. They were of the rare, brief happy moments. Kaidan and Pressley playing cards. Wrex laughing with Garrus and Tali. Liara studying something intently in her little room joined to the Med Bay. Chakwas sharing a drink with Joker. Shepard gazed over those and half a dozen more, including one where he, Ashley, and Adams were gazing out a starboard window, Ashley pointing at something in the distance, before he stopped on two pictures, side by side. One was taken back on the first Normandy, the entire crew posing together. The other had been taken in St. Thomas' Hospital after the Crucible fired, the day Shepard left, featuring himself, still needing crutches, with Ashley, Wrex, Garrus, Tali, Liara, Jack, Miranda, Jacob, even Samara had come to pose for the picture. He felt kind of bad that the crew wasn't in that one, like the picture from the first Normandy. "Can you believe we took those pictures twenty years ago?" Ashley asked, startling him. He had not heard her approach.

"A lifetime ago. A lifetime where I figured I would die on some suicide mission, and would have been glad to. All I wanted back then was to do my duty, at whatever cost. To hell with my health, my life, I would complete the mission."

"I remember," Ashley said, taking his hand and leaning her head on his shoulder, staring at the pictures as well. "I remember being so intimidated by you on Eden Prime, and Therum after that. You approached the battlefield with such a crazed focus and willingness to take risks, it was unlike anything I'd ever seen. I figured N7s were just crazy, that you had to be to get that far in the program."

"You're not far from the truth," Shepard said, chuckling softly.

"The first time you came down to the hangar bay to talk to me, I was expecting something completely different. Who would have guessed that someone could be so completely different off the battlefield than they were on the battlefield?"

"Yeah, I'm a complicated man." Ashley snorted a brief laugh. "Kaidan was intimidated the first time I talked to him, too. So were Tali and Garrus. I guess they all saw that same battle craze before they ever saw me in a normal setting." Shepard stared down at his feet. "I wonder sometimes why I'm still here, and Kaidan and Pressley and Chambers and everyone else aren't."

Ashley gripped his hand tighter. "You did die once, Skipper. Just saying." That much was definitely true. "You're still here because you were needed. There was a plan, and you had to fulfill it."

"If that was true, I would have died after the Crucible fired."

"That's not true, John, and I hate it when you talk like you shouldn't be alive." Shepard felt her gaze upon him, and turned to gaze back. "Have you ever actually thought about everything you did, everything you sacrificed? At any point have you thought about that?" He shrugged. "For Christ's sake, John, if anyone ever deserved a peaceful life, if anyone ever deserved a reward for the good deeds they've done in their life, its you. You came back from death itself, and threw yourself right back into the fray. You should not feel guilty for being happy and alive. I am not something you should feel bad for having, and neither are our daughters, or our friends, or our home, or a happy life."

Shepard kissed his wife's forehead, smiling at her. "I can still barely believe how things have turned out for both of us. Being here today, remembering everything we did, it seems impossible that we've managed a normal family life, or damn close to one."

Ashley scoffed. "Please, family life has been just as big a challenge as Reapers ever were. Fighting was simple, you point a gun of whatever size was required at the enemy and you shoot. That strategy doesn't work so well with a little girl who won't tell you why they are crying, or a teenager who has decided to argue with you anytime you speak to her."

"I got lucky there," Shepard gloated. "Maddy decided to take all that out on you."

"Fuck you, John," Ashley said, grinning. "It will even out. Anna and Jennifer will be on my side."

"Yeah, probably," Shepard admitted, laughing. "It's just so different. We both spent so many years as instruments of death, and then we were tasked with the exact opposite, caring for a young life, nurturing that life and being responsible for that person becoming a well adjusted young woman without ruining her life. I mean, talk about the exact opposite of being a soldier. I hope we didn't screw Maddy up too bad, she seems okay."

"She's a wonderful, well adjusted young woman, Skipper. We did great." Ashley leaned up to kiss him, and afterwards leaned her head on his shoulder again. "One daughter down, two to go. You sure you can handle twin teenage girls, Skipper?"

Shepard faked a shudder. "It's a frightening thought," he half joked. Both of them laughed. "We've done so much, Ash, we've fought husks and mercenaries and Collectors and Reapers. We stayed alive through the hardest fight the galaxy has ever seen. We've managed our marriage without hating each other and already raised one daughter. So far the twins haven't been that much different." Shepard shrugged. "I mean, how hard could it be?"

* * *

**I absolutely had to end this with a Shepard and Ashley reflective conversation, and yes I had to end cheesily putting the story name as the final words. I would love to hear overall thoughts on the story, since its done, and again, thank you to everyone who read, and I'm happy about all who enjoyed it.**

**Now that this chapter is done, and the story is "finished," all future chapters will be up to the readers. From this point on, any chapters I add will be requests from the readers. I've already received suggestions of what people would like from reviews for earlier chapters, and will be going back to look at those. The only rule I have is that I will not be doing prolonged story arcs, so any suggestion I would write about will have to be able to fit in a single chapter, two at most. I don't care what you want to see, flashbacks to before Maddy was born, various things I didn't already write about during all three kids' lives, glimpses into the future, I will probably write any of it, as long as it isn't something I haven't already written about. **


	24. A Shepard Christmas

**Early Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, all of that!**

* * *

The red and green glow could be seen from multiple houses on every street, and Shepard looked at each decorated house in confusion. When he saw that his house was even brighter than any other, with plastic snowmen and reindeer on the lawn and a figure of Santa Claus on the roof, he had no idea what to think. Inside, he found Ashley decorating a large pine tree with hanging ball-shaped ornaments and various other ornaments of various figures. Atop the tree was a five-pointed star. "Hey Skipper!" Ashley greeted enthusiastically when Shepard closed the front door, putting down the ornament in her hand and walking over to hug him.

"Uh, hi," he said back, continuing to look around the house. There were two large red socks hanging on the wall near the tree, and various other red and green decorations seemingly on everything in the house. "How are the two of you doing?"

Ashley glanced down at the swell of her stomach. The seventh month of her pregnancy had been easier than the last two, but it was still far from easy for her. Shepard did what he could to help, which was all he could do. "Still ready for it to be over, still sucks that I have two more months to go. What do you think of my decorations?"

"They're…nice, I guess. Is this really normal for Christmas?"

Just like every time he asked this before, the disbelief was obvious in Ashley's eyes. "Yes, its normal. Are you pulling my leg or something? I refuse to believe no one ever celebrated Christmas when you were a kid."

"Not like this. I've had people on ships talk about it, and wear the Santa hat a couple of times. You explained the whole gift getting thing during the first Christmas after the Collector mission. I've never seen anything like this." Ashley was not the only person that could never believe Shepard's lack of knowledge about Christmas. He knew maybe five people that celebrated the holiday in his entire life, and none of them made much a deal about it. They would mention gifts they were given family, and that's about it. He didn't even know who Santa Claus was until he was fifteen.

The disbelief in Ashley's eyes turned to pity. Shepard hated that look. What reason was there to feel bad for him? It was just some holiday. "Well no kid of mine is growing up in a house that doesn't know Christmas. So get used to it, and help me hang the rest of the ornaments. Matter of fact, you go ahead and do the rest yourself while I get off my feet."

Shepard nearly argued, but that would have been a pointless fight he could not win. He'd done some suicidal things in this life, but arguing with a pregnant Ashley about Christmas would be near the top of that list. He helped his wife over to the couch, and followed her orders on what to put where. Ashley was not even trying to hide the amusement in her voice as she gave orders. Once the tree was to her satisfaction, she led Shepard outside to finish hanging a few more lights, again enjoying herself fully while he did all the work. At some point after he went up the ladder for the last time, she went inside, and when Shepard finished and did the same she was waiting on the couch, with a wrapped present in her hands. "Merry Christmas, Skipper," she said, a beautiful smile on her face.

Any annoyance Shepard felt dissipated just like that. All it took was that smile. "I thought we did this in the morning?"

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Just take the damn gift, and hand me one you bought. I can't believe I married someone that I have to explain freaking Christmas too."

Shepard took his gift, set it down, and went over to the tree, where the presents already sat. There weren't many, a few that they had each bought for the coming baby, a couple for each other, about seven in total. Shepard grabbed the more modest of the two gifts he bought for Ashley, a book of poetry she had mentioned wanting to buy. It was a rare book that she did not already own. Finding a real version of the book, and not a downloadable version for a data pad, had not been easy, but it had not been particularly hard, either. Not as hard as it might have been if they lived on Earth or some major population center. Once he handed the wrapped book over, Ashley smiled and gestured for him to go first. His gift was small, and inside a box, preventing him from being able to tell what it was just by feeling it. He tore the wrapping off cleanly, smirking when he saw the gift. "Okay, now I feel bad for what I just handed you. How much did these cost you?"

"About two hundred credits apiece. A little more than we can afford, but whatever. You deserve it. And you've been talking about this fight for months now, every time you, Garrus, and Vega talk to each other."

Shepard knelt down and kissed his wife softly. "Very awesome. Three tickets, huh? You didn't get one for yourself?"

"Skipper, that fight is in two months. The last thing a bunch of boxing fans will want to see is a woman that might give birth at any moment. Take Garrus and James and enjoy yourselves."

"Oh, we will," Shepard said excitedly. He placed the tickets back inside the envelope they had been inside and set it down on the table in front of the couch. "Your turn."

Ashley's grin was wide as she hastily ripped the wrapping away like a child. She gasped when she saw the book. "Skipper, this is awesome!" she said excitedly. "I can't believe you actually listened when I talked about this! Thank you so much!" She bound to her feet, far faster than a seven months pregnant woman should be able to, and hugged Shepard tightly.

"I thought you'd like that," Shepard said, surprised by Ashley's glee.

"I do, a lot. And this is my B gift? I can't wait for tomorrow now!"

* * *

Maddy knew why her parents weren't home. She knew what they were doing, and she knew what they would be bringing home. Not that she would get to see, of course, but it still made her excited. The bubbling giggles of her twin sisters, laughing at the random noises Aunt Tali was making to entertain them, were only barely registering to her. All she could think about was the possible gifts her parents would be shopping for at that moment. She hoped they would get her a new video game console. Anna and Jennifer had accidentally spilled juice on her old one after crawling into her room, ruining it. Some new clothes and a purse would be cool too, though that was usually what Aunt Lynn and Aunt Abby got her. They understood fashion better than Mom and Dad.

Christmas, while not quite Maddy's favorite time of year, the Normandy reunions always winning that distinction, was a big deal in the Shepard household and her second favorite day of the year. Mom and Dad would decorate the house better than anyone else, with reindeers and Santas and snowmen and lights covering every inch of the house, a tree that was big enough that, with the star on top, to touch the ceiling. Everyone had a stocking that hung on the wall near the tree, and in the morning it would be so full of candy and small gifts that they would sag heavily towards the ground, looking like they were going to fall. Mom and Dad both wore Santa hats all day, and some years would even wear costumes like Santa and Mrs. Claus in the morning, though that didn't seem like a thing Mom liked to do. It was impossible not to get swept up in the holiday cheer when Maddy woke up on Christmas morning, seeing all the presents waiting to be opened, the stocking stuffed to bursting, Mom and Dad coming out of their room, all smiles. After all the presents were open, they would all hold hands while Mom said a prayer of thanks, a lot like Thanksgiving, but she said thanks for their abundance and good health rather than for a lot of food. Her aunts and uncles and their children would come over later in the day, at least when they lived nearby, and they would all eat a giant meal together at the dining room table.

Christmas was such a big deal through the early years of Maddy's life, that the first time someone asked her at school why houses were decorated that way, she though the girl was joking. How do you not know Christmas? You don't celebrate it? Why not, it's so awesome! At Normandy reunions, she asked Garrus and Aunt Tali and Wrex and Joker and Samantha and all their children and everyone she could if they celebrated Christmas, and was completely shocked to learn most of them had never heard of it! Maddy just couldn't imagine how that was possible, and eventually asked her parents on her eighth birthday why so many others didn't celebrate such a great holiday. Others on Amaterasu did, why not everyone?

"Well, it's a human holiday, for one," Mom began to explain. "So only humans would have heard of it. Its also a religious holiday, but only for Christians, like us. Or supposed to be, anyway."

Maddy knew the origins of Christmas, how they were celebrating Jesus Christ's birth. She learned that in church when she was five. "But why don't they celebrate it once they have heard of it? It's such a great day!"

"Well, that used to be how it was. Even if you weren't Christian or even religious, you would celebrate just because it was a day to give and receive, to love your family and enjoy being together." Maddy smiled, that was exactly the reason she loved Christmas so much. "After we discovered mass relays, and humans went out into the galaxy, things kind of changed. Christmas is still widely celebrated on Earth, but its possible to find human colonies that have never even heard of it." That made Maddy sad when Mom told her that, the idea that there were families out there that didn't get together and celebrate such a great holiday.

"Maddy!" a baby's voice said. Maddy couldn't help but smile at hearing either of her sisters say her name. The twins had been talking for three months now, and after "Mommy!" had quickly learned "Maddy!" The eldest Shepard daughter felt bad for her father. The twins still hadn't said daddy or any variation of the word. When Maddy turned towards the sound, she saw Anna, only identifiable because the name was stitched on her shirt, crawling her way. Tali appeared a moment after Maddy picked the child up, holding Jennifer, and quickly taking Anna into her other arm, easily bearing the weight of both babies. "Keelah, they are so much more adventurous than you were as a child," the quarian woman said. "I turn my back for a moment and these two are off! You used to just sit in place, wherever you were wanted, with no trouble at all. If only these two would behave the same way."

They were truly the daughters of Commander John Shepard, Maddy thought. Unlike their older sister, who everyone said may as well have been a clone of their mother, Anna and Jennifer took equal traits from both parents. The same intense blue eyes of Dad, along with brown hair just slightly darker than his. Their faces were a seemingly perfect mix of features taken from both parents, and it was easy to see both of them in the twins at any moment. Maddy sometimes wondered why she didn't look like Dad at all. Dad was insistent that he could see so much of himself in her, but he was probably just saying that to make himself and Maddy feel better. Although, her demeanor was probably more like Dad's. Maybe that's what he meant, that she took a lot after him in her personality. "What about Zaeli and Narol?" Maddy asked. "Were they like that as babies?"

"Zaeli was exactly the same as she is now," Tali said, a hint of longing in her voice, as if she wished her children were still babies. "Quiet, too quiet. Rarely cried. I wouldn't know if she was hungry or needed to be changed, because she wouldn't always make a noise to let me know. Now Narol, Narol was like these two, not quite as energetic but just as curious and adventurous."

Maddy giggled. "Narol is still like that, too."

Tali giggled as well. "Ancestors bless my husband, dealing with both of them alone right now.

From her room, no one could park at the house without Maddy hearing, so when Mom and Dad came home, she hurried out of her room, only to nearly run into the brick wall that was Aunt Tali. "No, no, no, you go back to your room. No peeking."

Putting on her best pouting face, Maddy crossed her arms. "Please can I see? I promise, I'll say I pushed by you or something."

"They'll never believe that. Come on, listen to Aunt Tali." The quarian woman gently pushed Maddy back towards her room. The younger girl fought a little, but not too much. "What if you went into the bathroom, and said you didn't hear? By the time you heard, it was too late and I was in the living room."

Tali laughed warmly. "And you don't think you're like your father. You bargain just like him. Next you'll threaten me."

Maddy almost did, but the compliment, she thought it was a compliment anyway, defused any such action. Accepting her fate, Maddy went back to her room, but managed to keep it open a crack without Tali noticing. She heard Tali and her parents talking, and when footsteps came down the hallway towards her room, she waited patiently for even a glimpse. Dad was just barely visible through the slight opening of the door, and in his hands were two very large bags, their contents not visible. Maddy didn't even see a store name on the bags. She stood at her door, considering whether to sneak into her parents' room for a peek while they were talking to Tali, when her father shouted, "You better not try and sneak a peek into those bags, Maddy!" Disbelieving that her father knew, Maddy took a seat on her bed and pouted.

* * *

"Mm, merry Christmas," the husky voice of her husband whispered into Ashley's ear, finishing the waking process that his roaming on her skin beneath the blanket had begun. One hand was roaming under her tank top, while his other lightly rubbed up and down her thigh, stopping at the waistband of her small sleeping shorts before moving back down her leg. She turned her head to let him know she was awake, and of course he took that as his cue to start kissing her neck. "Ready to wake up?"

"You heartless bastard," Ashley said, only just joking. "Why would you wake me up this way when you know the girls are awake and counting the seconds until they can run to the tree and open presents? You KNOW we can't do anything."

Shepard's chuckle vibrated against her neck, making things worse. "Serves you right," he said, kissing one more time. "How many times have you done this to me?" He got out of bed, leaving his wife to stare at him furiously. "Come on, let's go." He walked over to the dresser, grabbed the two Santa hats off it, and threw one her way. Ashley resisted the urge to grab her husband and throw him back on the bed, instead pulling on a pair of sweatpants.

Of course, the twins heard their parents moving around in the room, and took it as a sign that it was okay to get up. Ashley smiled warmly at the sound of their voices as they ran out to the living room. Shepard was still getting dressed, so Ashley left the bedroom without him, just in time to see Maddy exit her room, sleepily stretching. "Merry Christmas," Ashley greeted her eldest daughter, hugging her. They headed out to the living room together, where the twins were scanning every present, trying to decide which of theirs they wanted to open first. "Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!" Ashley bellowed, Anna and Jennifer giggling. "Why don't you check your stockings first?"

Maddy walked by to join her sisters at the stockings, all of them pulling them down off the wall. Jennifer was about to pour the contents on the ground, until she saw the look on her mother's face and remembered the rule. Anna and Maddy were already sifting through the contents of their stockings when Jennifer poured hers on the table as well. By that time Shepard had left the bedroom to join them, wearing his Santa hat, a white t-shirt, and a pair of baggy red pants with black suspenders. "Merry Christmas!" he bellowed, even louder than Ashley had, before joining his daughters over at the table, excitedly talking with them about what they had gotten.

Ashley was proud of how into this she had brainwashed her husband to be. When he told her he had never celebrated Christmas all those years ago, it had been one of the most heartbreaking things he ever told her. How could anyone not celebrate Christmas? Then she had seen his complete lack of knowledge about the holiday herself, and made it her mission to make him love the day as much as she did. A family had to celebrate this holiday, whether you believed in Christ or not. It was all about getting together with family to spend time together and give each other presents. Who could resist that?

Once the contents of the stockings were back in the stockings, Anna and Jennifer hurried over to the tree, where Ashley was waiting to hand them presents. "Okay, back off you two. Since Maddy is going to be moving into her own place in a couple weeks, she gets the first present." Jennifer pouted, Anna glared at her older sister, but both backed away. Ashley handed a gift over to Maddy, smiling excitedly. "Figured we would get something practical for you," Ashley said as her daughter opened her present.

"Oh cool, a toaster oven!" Maddy said, reading the box. "Good, because I don't know how to cook, and neither Brent or Marie do either. This will make things easier." Brent and Marie were Maddy's soon to be roommates in the apartment she was moving into. She had introduced both to her parents, and Ashley thought they were okay. Marie looked a lot like Carrie, and Ashley wondered about the intentions there. "Thanks Mom, Dad."

Anna and Jennifer each received a gift at the same time, tearing them open happily. Next was Ashley herself, then Shepard. After that, it was a free for all, with the twins leading the way. Once the presents were all open, the twins comparing theirs and completely ignoring everyone else, Ashley began throwing the mounds of torn wrapping paper into a trash bag while Shepard went to the kitchen to begin preparing the ham for later that night. It was such a wonderful scene, and possibly the last time they would celebrate Christmas morning this way. Next year, Maddy would be a college student living away from home, her own life beginning. Sure, she would hopefully find a way to come home for Christmas, but it wouldn't be the same as all those years of watching her little girl hurry from her room, running to the tree to open presents. Before Ashley knew it, the twins would be grown up too, and it would be just her and Shepard.

What a horrible Christmas morning that would be, Ashley thought, frowning. Having her own family made her realize just how much she missed Christmas with her parents and sisters. There was no doubt Ashley was a rebellious girl, one who often gave her parents trouble and spent days away from home, whether with a friend or a boyfriend, her temper causing constant arguments with everyone, parents and sisters. No matter what happened though, Christmas was spent happy and together. Any arguments, even as early as days ago, were forgotten as they sat around the tree opening their presents. When Ashley was seventeen, a year from joining the Alliance, she had gotten into a fight with her mother that surpassed any they had before, only two days before Christmas Eve. As usual, Ashley found a friend to stay with, and had absolutely no plans on going back on Christmas. All she wanted to do was make her mother worry, make her hurt, and not being home on Christmas would definitely accomplish that. The day before Christmas Eve, she was cocky, steadfast, determined to prove her point. The day of Christmas Eve, her resolve began to waver. Thoughts of her mother's disappointed, sad expression, wondering where her daughter was on Christmas morning, began to dominate her thoughts. By Christmas Eve itself, her resolve was broken, and she ended up sneaking back into her house at one in the morning.

The next morning, Ashley laid awake in bed well into the morning, listening for an hour while her sisters squealed over their presents, and her father's deep, booming laughter rang throughout the house. When she finally worked up the courage to join the rest of her family, she stepped tentatively from her room, staring down at the ground as she walked out to the living room. Her sisters immediately began showing Ashley their presents, and Dad hugged her like nothing was wrong. Mom was sitting on the ground nearby, saying nothing. Ashley walked over to her, barely able to look at her. "Merry Christmas, Ash," her mom finally said, a genuine smile full of relief on her face. Ashley crouch to the ground, hugging her mom tightly. That was the last Christmas Ashley had spent living at home, and it was probably the best one she ever had.

Ashley must have drifted off into thought, because she was startled when a hand touched her shoulder, snapping around to face the person the hand belonged to. "You didn't hear anything I just asked, did you?" Shepard asked.

"No," Ashley admitted. "Sorry."

"Its alright, I'll take care of it."

Shepard kissed Ashley's forehead, and went over to join their daughters. Ashley watched, as happy as she had ever been, committing every moment to memory. This was yet another Christmas she would remember forever. Greedily, she wondered how long it would be until she would celebrate her first Christmas with grandchildren.

* * *

**Some of you may not be able to believe that Christmas would go forgotten or uncelebrated at any point, but in my ME universe it did. So, yeah. **

**And no, TW6464, this isn't going to count as a "Tali watching the girls chapter." I will definitely be writing a much longer portion for that. ;)**


	25. Burdens We Bear

**This is a request chapter for a guest reviewer way back after Chapter 2. Hope they are still reading, and like this. **

* * *

Ashley knew something was wrong immediately. It was written on the faces of everyone on board the Normandy, their eyes refusing to meet hers, their mouths twisted into frowns. Somehow, she didn't notice Shepard's absence until she drew near Sam's station, where she and Garrus were speaking quietly to each other. They broke off their conversation when the turian saw Ashley. "Where is he?" she asked.

"Ash, I…"

"Where is he?" she asked more forcefully, her gaze boring into him.

Garrus looked at Sam, who was making sure not to look back. "He was captured by Cerberus on Noveria. We were entering the shuttle to evacuate when a squad showed up, and Shepard drew their fire away from us."

Ashley snorted in anger. Damn you, Skipper, she thought. His selflessness was something that made her love him, but he should know when such selflessness was a good thing and when it was a bad thing. This was a time where it was a bad thing. Without Shepard here to yell at, she directed her anger at Garrus, his second in command. "And why exactly did you let him do that!?" she yelled, every eye in the CIC turning their way.

"Ash, there was nothing Liara or I could do," Garrus argued calmly. "The shuttle was taking off and he jumped out. I've already begun putting together a plan, we're going to get Shepard out of there as quickly as possible."

"And you didn't come get me before you were putting this plan together?" That made Ashley even angrier.

"Damn it, Ash, we stepped off the shuttle ten minutes ago. Once Shepard is secure you can rip into me all you want, but right now we should only have one focus."

Garrus was right, of course. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Ashley asked. "So what's your plan?"

"Follow me, I want to tell everyone at the same time." Still infuriated, Ashley had no choice but to follow.

* * *

John Shepard's world was one of darkness, the cloth of the blindfold irritating against his skin. They had dragged him somewhere after knocking him unconscious, and he was now sitting in a chair, his hands and feet both bound. A cough told him that he was not alone in the room, but whoever was there was not talking. There was nothing to do but wait. Wait and think, and hope he received a chance to escape.

What the hell had he been thinking? Jumping out of that shuttle had to rank among the dumbest things Shepard had ever done. He tried to rationalize that it was a natural reaction, that he had seen the Cerberus thug holding the missile launcher and had to jump out to distract him from shooting the shuttle, but that didn't seem like a very good reason now. Even if the rocket hit the shuttle, which was no guarantee, it was capable of eating one before they would be in real trouble. As he sat tied up in a chair, no idea where he was, a horrible pain in the back of his head where the blow that knocked him unconscious had landed, Shepard came to the conclusion that he was just an idiot.

The pain eventually began to recede, and Shepard was able to focus and think clearly for the first time since regaining consciousness. He noticed how loose the bindings around his hands were. They would be easy to manipulate, though he should wait to see exactly who was in the room with him. One guy he could handle, even with his feet bound, but anymore and he would be in trouble. Shepard's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door sliding open and two people entering the room. As soon as the door slid closed again, a hand grabbed the blindfold and yanked it from his eyes. The harsh light of the room assaulted his sight, making him blink furiously as tears formed in his eyes. When his sight adjusted after half a minute, he found two faceless Cerberus soldiers, predictably armored from head to toe, standing before him. Shepard was not sure why he thought he might have seen any different. In the corner of the room, another Cerberus soldier was leaning against the wall. "The boss is going to be ecstatic," the one standing directly in front of him said.

"Are we keeping him in here?" the one in the corner asked.

"Why not? Are you scared to be in here all alone?"

"Fuck you, I'm not scared of anything!" the soldier shouted defensively.

A chuckle came from the soldier in front of Shepard. "We'll leave a couple guards outside the door. He says anything, punch him. He moves, punch him. He breathes too heavy, punch him. Keep it on the torso though, we don't want to mess up his face or give him brain damage." The two Cerberus soldiers that entered the room exited now, leaving Shepard in a room with a guy whose standing orders were to beat the shit out of him for any little thing. Once again, Shepard thought about what an idiot he was.

* * *

"There should be more guards," Ashley said, a foreboding feeling in the pit of her stomach, growing with every second spent scouting the facility, a pair of binoculars in her hands.

"Could be a trap," Garrus admitted. "Could be we depleted their numbers, and they are keeping whoever's left close to Shepard. You know he's going to try and escape, and so do they."

Ashley knew that all too well, and that was the source of the bad feeling she had. A weaker man may accept their circumstances and hope for rescue, knowing there was a ship full of loyal soldiers that would die for him. Shepard was too damn egotistical to be that weak a man. He'd try to escape at the first opportunity that presented itself, whether he had thought out a plan or not. "We'll assume it's a trap, and hope its not."

Garrus led the way, with Liara and EDI following, and Ashley covering the rear. The way stayed clear of hostiles all the way to the side entrance of the facility, where Garrus claimed their best chance to get inside unnoticed would be. The turian was the first through the door, his assault rifle following his eyes around the room. He had brought his sniper rifle with him, but it would likely go unused in the close quarters of the facility, all hallways and rooms, no true open space to be found. Ashley was carrying her shotgun, while Liara and EDI both chose to use submachine guns. The four of them spread out quickly, clearing every corner of the office they found themselves entering. Mechanical beeps and clicks from the consoles and supercomputers were the only sounds to be heard besides their breathing. Once the room was determined to be clear, Garrus signaled for them to follow, and they moved into a hallway, Ashley's every sense tuned for danger as they moved along.

The first Cerberus soldiers they found were inside another office, their voices giving away their position. There were three of them, making small talk that gave away their location. Garrus took up position next to the closed door leading into the office, EDI taking up position next to him, while Ashley and Liara took up position on the opposite side. Without having to say a word, Garrus counted down from three, nodded, and the four of them stormed inside, the Cerberus troops receiving no chance to react before they were dropping dead. Four more offices of varying size were cleared of Cerberus troops as they moved along the hallway, the Normandy squad managing to take them all out silently. Two times, they managed to take one of the fuckers alive, but they would say nothing, and there was neither the time or place to properly interrogate them. Ashley was beginning to grow frustrated, wondering if Shepard had already been moved somewhere else. Without even realizing it, she began to breathe loudly due to her anger, until Liara placed a hand on her shoulder, and a finger to her own lips.

At the end of the hallway, they found themselves on a walkway overlooking a large lobby, where a concentration of fifteen Cerberus troops were standing guard. The walkway followed the perimeter of the lobby, three doors on each side, a large glass window above the lobby entrance below. Fortifications had been made to guard the entrance, energy barriers and shield restorers with generators to power them, and turrets behind them. Every troop down below was paying complete attention to the entrance, allowing the Normandy squad to sneak in entirely unseen. They had the high ground, too. Maybe the sniper rifles would come in handy. "We could probably sneak by," Liara suggested. "They have no idea we are here, or if they do they think we're going to assault them in large numbers."

"We still don't know where the Commander is," Ashley said immediately. "He might be hurt, and need us to carry him out of here. If so, we'd only be making our exit harder if we had to fight through these assholes later."

"It would greatly increase our odds of success if we eliminate the Cerberus soldiers now," EDI chimed in.

Garrus' input was not necessary. Liara nodded her agreement. "EDI, take up position to the left. When I give the signal, hit that group of four near the generator with an Incineration blast. Liara, you go to the opposite side of the walkway, and when you see the signal, hit the group of five behind the barrier with a Singularity. Ash, throw a grenade at that group. I'll stay here, and provide sniper support."

Ashley could barely contain herself, the discipline that usually came so automatically to her fraying without Shepard leading her into battle. She had risen so far in the last two years, and was rarely out in the field with an officer higher in rank than her. Following Shepard again had been easy, he was Commander freaking Shepard, for God's sake. Garrus though? She liked Garrus, respected Garrus, trusted him without any reservations, but following his orders did not feel right. Especially not with Garrus leading her in a mission to rescue Shepard.

Oh hell, who was she kidding? Every ounce of her frustration and unease was because Shepard was in danger, no matter how much she tried to pretend otherwise. She loved Shepard, hopelessly, with all her heart and soul, he was always on her mind, occupying nearly every moment of her life, even her dreams. Even in the most intense firefights, she would find herself thinking of Shepard, how many hostiles he had killed, whether he was okay, how hot it would be to get rid of the leftover adrenaline and tension of battle back in his cabin. Ashley had tried so hard to move past him after the Collector attack on the Normandy, only to find out the moment she saw him on Horizon that all her efforts had been completely unsuccessful, and she was forced to accept that the son of a bitch reduced her to a lovestruck moron. Shepard's capture, and the possible negative outcomes, were the only reason she was having a negative thought about Garrus' ability, a soldier who had proven himself damn near as much as Shepard himself. Ashley shook her head, placed her hand on one of her incendiary grenades, and waited for Garrus' signal.

* * *

Shepard heard the fight as clearly as the Cerberus soldier in the corner did, and it could not have come at a better time. He had managed only moments earlier to loosen the bindings on his hands enough to slip one hand free. When his guard jogged over and said, "If you're friends think they are getting you out of here alive, they'll be sorely disappointed," Shepard did not waste time using his free hand to grab the pistol at the guard's waist and plug three shots into his chest. Once the guard fell dead, he quickly went to work removing the rest of his bindings. Thankfully, they had not removed his armor. The Cerberus soldier had four thermal clips for his assault rifle, and Shepard took both. Outside, the gunfight was drawing closer, the occasional muffled explosion reaching his ears through the walls. He gripped the assault rifle tightly, and hurried out of the room.

Apparently Cerberus had sent everyone to fight the intruders, as Shepard met no resistance while creeping down the hallway. He followed the sounds of gunfire, which reached its loudest when he reached a door at the end of the hallway. He opened the door, and found himself thrust into the thick of the fight. A Cerberus soldier spotted him immediately, shouted, "Shepard is loose! Kill him!" and began firing his way. Shepard reached for a grenade, not remembering that he used them all before he was captured, and cursed. Listening closely, he realized that Cerberus was exchanging gunfire with a group above them. If he could distract the troops on his level, it would make their job easier. Time for another stupid idea, he thought with a grin.

Shepard burst through the door and into the lobby, firing vaguely in the direction of the soldiers that spotted him, just trying to keep them occupied as he desperately searched for cover. An L shaped desk was the closest thing he could find, and he dove behind it moments before shots were returned his way. A dead Cerberus soldier, blood beginning to dry in a thick puddle originating from a wound in his head, had two frag grenades on his belt. Shepard threw both over the desk, trying to create as much confusion as possible. A few screams and a few thuds of bodies falling told him he had succeeded.

* * *

A girl had to admire what Shepard had just done, even as Ashley wanted to scream at him for being so stupid. When that Cerberus prick screamed to kill Shepard, moments before Garrus took his head off with his sniper rifle, Ashley had wanted to scream at the man she loved, tell him what an idiot he was. She could do that later, right now they needed to get him out of here before any reinforcements that had definitely been contacted showed up. The sudden appearance of the Spectre had served to distract the Cerberus troops, making the Normandy squad's job easier, and they took full advantage. Between them and Shepard, there was no where to run or hide, and the battle became a massacre. Ashley lapsed into an adrenaline focus unlike anything she had experienced since the battle on the Citadel. She lost all conscious sense of time and her surroundings, acting purely on instinct, focused on nothing more than the hostiles she was shooting at. Seemingly every shot was perfect. When there was no one left to shoot, the battle trance did not dissipate until a hand shook her by the shoulder, and she turned to find Liara staring with concern. "Ashley, its over," she said. "Are you okay?"

Just like that, Ashley was back to normal. "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Let's go get Shepard." They had to find a staircase back within one of the hallways to get down to the lobby. The urge to hit the man she loved was every bit as strong as the urge to jump him and kiss him. Ashley settled for a professional nod, her discipline and training winning out over her competing emotions. "Glad to see you're okay, Commander," she said.

Shepard nodded back, smiling at all of them. "That was quick, you guys. Good work."

"Of course, you didn't recruit a bunch of scrubs," Garrus said with a grin. EDI walked over to a nearby console, typing away. "Saving your ass is getting kind of old, Shepard. When are you going to repay me for all the times I've done this?"

"I could buy you a drink," Shepard suggested.

"There's plenty of free liquor on the Normandy."

Shepard rubbed the back of his neck. "That there is."

"Could we discuss this later?" Ashley said, irritated.

"Cerberus reinforcements will arrive in five minutes," EDI said, rejoining them.

Shepard nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

Shepard was still trying to catch his breath as Ashley snuggled next to him, pulling the blanket on the bed to cover them. Sex after a particularly stressful fight was common between them, but this had been something else. For a moment, he considered joking about getting himself captured more often, but he knew his reward for such a joke would be a punch in the arm, at best. "You're a real bastard, you know that?" Ashley said.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, what the hell were you doing? You are too goddamn important to try and sacrifice yourself to save us."

Shepard looked at the woman he loved. "I wasn't trying to sacrifice myself, what are you talking about?"

"Bullshit, you had to know there was a good chance they would kill you on the spot when you jumped from that shuttle," Ashley argued.

"No, the thought never crossed my mind. Cerberus has a bounty out on me for bringing me in alive, not dead. I knew for a fact that the Illusive Man's own troops wouldn't kill me. Not unless they had no choice."

"You did not know that. You hoped that was true, but you didn't know." Ashley snuggled a little closer, her arms gripping his left arm tightly. "Why did you jump out of the shuttle to begin with?"

Shepard hesitated, knowing she would just berate him further. "I saw a guy with a missile launcher preparing to fire. I was just trying to distract him long enough for the shuttle to get away unscathed." He paused again. "I know it was stupid. Its all I thought about while I was tied up in a chair. The shuttle could have handled one rocket blast. Believe me, any way you want to yell at me, I've already yelled at myself."

Ashley laughed briefly, a surprise. "Skipper, I can't get mad that you are so selfless and brave, that you are willing to give everything you have. But you are too important to be stupid. If we lose you, that will be it. The Reapers will win. You need to understand that."

The Spectre rolled his eyes, his mouth forming a hard line. He already heard this from Liara. "That's not true. I'm sick of everyone telling me that."

"Yes, it is true."

"No its not," Shepard argued petulantly. "There are hundreds, thousands of men like me out there, fighting just as hard as I am. If I die, at least one of them could do what I'm doing. Garrus could do what I'm doing. So could you, Ash."

Again, Ashley surprisingly laughed. "What could possibly make you think that? You think Garrus or I could handle sitting in a room with Wrex, the Primarch, and the Dalatrass, and somehow keep them from killing each other? You think anyone else could have talked down Admiral Gerrel from continuing to attack the Geth? Sure, we can fight, but you are something special. You are the only hope left."

"I'm one fucking soldier, Ash."

She propped herself up on an elbow, glaring intensely at him. "You're one fucking soldier that has done more than any one fucking soldier has ever done. John, stop it. Stop this humble act you try to pull off. If you would have died down there today, everything you've done, all the alliances you've built, it all would have crumbled. You are the glue holding this entire galaxy together right now."

Shepard wanted to argue. He wanted to childishly scream that it wasn't fair, that no one man should be forced to bear this burden on his shoulders. The consequences if he failed weighed heavily on his mind, prevented him from ever getting a good night's sleep, from ever truly relaxing. "I know that, and its wearing me down, Ash. I have been living on nothing more than adrenaline and fear for months. I can't keep going like this for much longer. If we don't finish the Crucible soon, I won't be around long enough to see this war ended. And what's worse, I can't even admit it. I can't tell the Council that I'm not sure. I can't tell the crew that I'm scared, that I'm human, that I'm wearing down. I have to keep this burden inside, where its killing me. Everyone else has someone to look to for confidence and inspiration. I have no one."

He hadn't meant for it all to tumble out that way, but there it was. A person could only hold so much in before there was no where else to hide it. This may not have been the best time, but Shepard could not hold it in any longer, not when Ashley was going to insist on reminding him of his burden. She watched him quietly for a few moments, her own thoughts not betrayed in her expression. He looked away, wondering if his admission had broken her own faith, but she placed a hand on his cheek and made him look at her. "You have me. Don't ever hold that in, not with me. You understand? When we are here, alone, I don't ever want you to think you have to put on some bullshit façade to impress or inspire me. Tell me you understand that."

Shepard would not love Ashley as much as he did at that moment until their first daughter was born. He said nothing, instead deciding to kiss her fiercely, pulling her close, desiring her as much as he ever had.

* * *

**I wish ME3 had done a better job showing the stress that Shepard would be under, with so much relying solely on him. Those stupid dreams were not enough. As always, comments and critiques are welcome.**


	26. Babysitting

**Here you go, TW. Hope you like.**

* * *

Tali could not stop bouncing on her toes or twiddling her fingers as she waited near the crib. The nervous energy coursing throughout her body was an entirely different feeling than she had ever experienced. The baby did not make a sound as Ashley took her from the crib, cradling her lovingly. Madeline was still asleep in her mother's arms, and stayed asleep when she was passed into the quarian woman's arms. Despite her nervousness, Tali managed to still herself. It wasn't the first time she held Madeline, she knew what to do. Support the head, rock gently, hold her like this. Madeline moved a little, an adorable little sound coming from her, and Tali smiled. She was completely in love with the baby girl. "She's yours for the next two hours," Ashley whispered, looking down at her daughter's face. "Take good care of her."

"Wait, I want to be sure," Tali said. "All those contacts you sent to my omnitool are correct?"

"Yes."

"And the formula is on the second shelf inside the refrigerator, she needs to be fed when she wakes, and the diapers…"

"Tali," Ashley interrupted quietly. "You'll do fine. As long as she's still healthy and happy when we get home, that's all that matters."

"I just don't want to mess up." Keelah, she sounded like a damned teenager on her first babysitting job, rather than a grown woman on her first babysitting job. I can face down Reapers, but I worry about a baby, she thought. What nonsense.

"You know what to do, we'll be back in two hours. Thank you very much for watching her for us while you were here."

"Of course, I'm happy too," Tali said. Babysitting Madeline had not been part of the plan during her visit to Amaterasu, but she found herself eagerly volunteering to do so when Shepard came home for a three week leave from the Alliance. He and Ashley had not been allowed a night together without their daughter since Madeline was born, and needed one desperately. "Okay, I can do this. Go ahead and get out of here."

What an adorable, well behaved little girl Madeline was. Motherhood was not something Tali thought about very much, but she one day hoped to have a little girl as amazing as Madeline was. A little boy too, but a few years later. She found herself thinking of Gran, and whether things would ever become that serious between them. They had only been dating for a few months now, but she really liked him. With her schedule, being an Admiral and all that came with it, they didn't have all the time she would like to spend together, but he was a good man, and a stable influence in her otherwise completely unstable life.

Things went smoothly for the first hour and a half. Tali held her for thirty minutes until she woke up, fed her a bottle of formula, and burped her, her first time doing that. Even though Tali did exactly as Ashley showed her, she was completely worried every second that she was doing it wrong. When Madeline finally burped, Tali realized she was holding her breath, and exhaled, feeling incredible relief. The baby girl fell back asleep moments later, and Tali put her back in her crib, feeling like she would be a good mother one day.

That changed after an hour and a half, when a piercing cry raged through the house, Tali rushing into Madeline's room. As she was taught, she immediately checked if the baby had soiled herself, and she did not. Next she tried feeding her, to no avail. Giving her toys, talking to her, even showing a video that Ashley swore always calmed Madeline down, nothing worked. Tali began to panic, wondering if there was something seriously wrong with the baby. She pulled up the contact info Ashley had provided, called the doctor, and insisted that he make a house call. While she waited, she cradled Madeline in her arms, rocking her gently in hopes she would stop crying, tears beginning to form in her eyes as well because of the hopelessness she felt. "Shush," she whispered, cradling Madeline a little higher so her heard was resting on her shoulder. "Its okay, please stop crying. What do you want? You don't need to be changed, I already checked, and you didn't want to eat. Are you sick? You don't look sick, you look upset, but I don't know why. Keelah, why are you crying? Maybe if I just rocked you a little more you would stop, you probably miss your parents, they should be back…" Tali stopped when she noticed Madeline was not crying. "Your parents will be back soon, so you don't need to worry about that. See, you look like you're feeling better now."

Madeline reached a hand up toward Tali's visor, a gesture that Ashley and Shepard both said the baby was fond of doing. The quarian woman hoped that meant Madeline liked her. A sudden thought crossed Tali's mind, an idea that might keep Madeline calm. Keeping a firm hold of her, Tali reached a hand to the locks for her visor, released them, and pulled it away, exposing her face to the cool air of the house. The baby's eyes seemed to widen a little, and she cooed while again reaching her hand up to Tali's now exposed face. "You are the first non-quarian I've ever shown my face to, you know. You deserve it, you are the sweetest, prettiest little girl in the entire world. I can't keep my visor off for very long, but I'll sit here without it for a few minutes. Okay?" She sat on the couch again, just then remembering that she had called the doctor and asked him to come to the house, Keelah, that was going to be embarrassing.

* * *

Maddy stared at the edge of the cliff, completely in awe of the sight below. She had never seen anything so beautiful in her life. A river ran through the valley below, ending at a small lake. Trees of a variety she had never before seen were sparsely spaced along the banks, their leaves impossibly lush and numerable. Away from the river, the land was dry and dusty, much like the rest of Rannoch that she had seen. "Can we go down there?" she asked Tali, when the quarian woman joined her at the cliff.

"Of course," Tali said. "It would be cruel to stop here."

Maddy squealed, running back to the bike and hopping on the seat. This was the first time she had been allowed to see the sights on Rannoch, and everything about it was so awesome. She liked Zaeli and Narol, but they were a little young still for her. Mom and Dad were back at Aunt Tali's house, watching her kids, while Aunt Tali took her on this tour. So far it had had been a lot of desert, with few trees and a lot of high dunes. What was there was so cool that it didn't matter. There were insects she had never seen, small and large, flying and burrowing under the ground and everything in between. Up in the sky, she had seen a few flocks of birds that looked like vultures, but smaller. A large skeleton, with bones as big as wide as Maddy's forearm and as long as her legs. Tali told her they belonged to an animal similar to a lizard, but much bigger. It was probably the coolest thing Maddy had ever seen.

That is, until Tali drove her down into the valley below, following the river to where it ended at the lake. The lake was crystal clear, diamonds of light sparkling all over from the sun shining down on the surface. Maddy immediately asked if she could go in, and Tali gave the okay, as long as she took her shoes and socks off first, which the six year old did in about three seconds flat. The water was amazingly comfortable, the most perfect temperature water could possibly be. Mud squished beneath her toes, which felt funny, yet nice. Even when she was far enough out to swim, the bed of the lake was visible beneath the water. Aunt Tali told her to make sure she didn't dip her head under the water and swallow any, and as much as Maddy wanted to do just that, she did as told. She wasn't sure how long she stayed in the lake, whether swimming, looking for fish under the water, or just floating along, but eventually Aunt Tali told her it was time to leave, and she got out, a chill running through her body once she left the water. Apparently expecting that Maddy would want to swim in the lake, there was a towel among their stuff. "We should come back and do this, everyone!" Maddy said while drying off.

"Wouldn't you rather go to a beach?" Aunt Tali asked.

Maddy's eyes widened, and she began hopping in place. "Can we? That would be so cool!" Aunt Tali nodded, and Maddy leaped at her, hugging her tightly.

* * *

Another thud somewhere in the house told Tali there had been either another fight or another accident. She hurried from the kitchen, where she was making sandwiches both her children and the Shepards' girls could eat, dropping the slice of cheese in her hand to the counter. She found them all in Narol's room, where Jennifer was laying on her side, sobbing and clutching her knee. Both Maddy and Zaeli were knelt next to her, making sure she was okay, while Narol and Anna kept their distance, Anna watching guiltily. Tali would find out what happened later, first she needed to make sure Jennifer was okay.

Zaeli stood and backed up when her mother approached, but Maddy stayed near her younger sister. "Its her knee," she said, as if it wasn't obvious. "She won't even try and stand up. I didn't see what happened, Zaeli and I were not in here."

"Okay, give me some room," Tali said authoritatively, and Maddy listened. "Anna, do not move. I will find out what happened here." She gave the girl a withering stare, her jaw set angrily, watching with what was probably inappropriate glee as she shrunk and cowered before Tali's eyes. Tali gently lifted Jennifer off the ground and carried her into the living room, where she set the girl on the couch.

Keelah, it had been one thing after another the past couple of days. The twins and Narol were constantly doing things they shouldn't be. Not an hour after they got here, they broke a lamp while running around. Narol took a football to the head that same afternoon. Night came, and Anna received a bruise on her arm after a fight with her sister. Tali and Gran were woken in the morning by an intense argument between Jennifer and Narol. That argument was on Tali's mind as she gently probed at Jennifer's knee, hoping to figure out exactly how bad it as injured. When the little girl showed she could move it without screaming in pain, it was a major relief. Five minutes and a popsicle to suck on later, Jennifer was feeling better. Give any six year old sweets and they'll forget just about anything.

Gran chose that moment to walk through the door, carrying three grocery bags in his hands. "Zaeli, Maddy, take Narol and Anna and get the rest of the groceries. Any more injuries, and everyone is in trouble, understand?" Tali said. It was probably condescending to talk to Zaeli and Maddy that way, being that they were teenagers, but they listened as always. At least those two girls could behave themselves. "Jennifer, I'll be right back, okay? Stay on the couch until I get back, don't try and move around yet."

"Yes ma'am," Jennifer said, for once looking as if she meant it.

Gran followed as Tali walked to their bedroom. Once inside, Tali closed the door, and immediately clenched her fists in frustration and anger. "These bosh'tet kids will not behave themselves! I am so mad right now!"

"What happened this time?" Gran asked.

"I don't know, a fight of some kind, I didn't see it. I heard a thud and found Jennifer clutching her knee while laying on the ground. It was either Narol, Anna, or both. I haven't gotten around to asking yet." Tali began pacing, trying to wear off the tension in her body.

Gran's laugh stopped her, the sound unexpected. "I don't understand why you're so angry about this. You should be used to kids hurting themselves and getting in trouble by now."

"Zaeli and Narol NEVER got into this much trouble," Tali insisted.

"Are you already forgetting what they were like? They still get in trouble, they are just older and better at hiding it."

Tali narrowed her eyes as she stared at her husband. "What kind of trouble, exactly?"

Gran shook his head, definitely grinning. "I handled it, it was nothing serious."

She would need to speak with her husband later. Right now she had a different problem on her hands. Maybe Gran was right, but she didn't remember her children being in trouble very often. Maybe those memories of their younger days were rose-tinted by nostalgia, by her sometimes wishing her children were not growing up so fast. While Gran admitted to be looking forward to the peace and quiet once Zaeli and Narol were out of the house, Tali enjoyed motherhood, more than anything else in her life. How could they have gotten in the trouble Gran was saying they had, if she had enjoyed being a mother so much? "I will ask you about this later," Tali threatened. Gran was always trying to lessen the household burden on her, because of Tali's Admiralty duties, and she hated that.

"And I'll pretend to not want to tell you, and hope to get some sexy punishment."

As much as Tali did not want to laugh, she did, heartily. "Keelah, I love you. I'll have to remember that you like sexy punishments."

The groceries were all inside when Tali and Gran left the bedroom, and as told, Jennifer had not moved from the couch. Zaeli and Maddy were occupying themselves with the extranet, while Narol and Anna waited to be questioned. Tali walked over to them. "Time to talk," she said, steel in her voice. She had been told by everyone that knew her that when she had that tone, she was damn near impossible to lie to. "What happened?"

Anna refused to meet Tali's eyes, biting her bottom lip to keep quiet. Narol knew better, he was growing quickly, now standing as tall as Tali, but he might as well have been six or seven years old again at that moment. "Anna and Jennifer were looking at some of my old toys, and fought over one. I ignored them, thinking they would work it out, but they ended up fighting, and Anna pushed Jennifer to the ground. Her knee hit a toy, that's how it got hurt."

Anna glared coldly at the older boy. "Thank you, Narol. Anna, you are to stay in the guest room for one hour. If you yell or scream or get into any trouble in there, it will only mean you have to stay longer. Now go." The little girl clearly wanted to argue, but wisely decided to listen instead. As she walked by the couch, she glared at her twin sister, who stuck her tongue out in a taunting manner. "Jennifer, you are going to join her for forty-five minutes."

That caught Jennifer off guard. "But she hurt me! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"If that were true, the fight never would occurred. Go."

* * *

"Those girls," Ashley said, smiling. "They are so much more a handful than Maddy was, huh?"

"Keelah, yes!" Tali said. She had just relayed the entire three day adventure of watching the girls to their mother, surprised by how relaxed Ashley was while hearing all the incidents that occurred. "You really must be used to this from them."

"You have no idea." Ashley stretched out in the lawn chair. Rex was sniffing around near the fence, some scent occupying all of his attention. "I don't know if there are stupid impulse genes, but if so those two got every single one from both myself and John. If they can go a single day without acting on some crazy idea they had, it's a very good day."

"How do you manage that?" Tali asked, incredulous. Every day? How could ANYONE handle that?

"The same way you did when your kids were younger, I assume. They're kids, they're yours, you deal with it. It doesn't make you stop loving them."

"Gran said the same thing about Zaeli and Narol," Tali said. "I do not remember them getting into much trouble. Why does everyone else?"

"Because, no offense, okay, but because you are so sweet and naïve. You were so happy to be a mom when they were younger that you overlooked the crazy trouble those two got into." Ashley laughed fondly. "I remember when Zaeli was eight and Narol was six, and you sent them here for a visit. That basically went the exact same way you described the last three days."

How do I not remember any of this, Tali wondered. "So I'm still the naïve one of our group. Great, I thought that changed by now."

"That will never change," Ashley said, putting an arm around Tali. "Deal with it."

* * *

**Funny how someone's excitement over kids can change so much after they've had their own. I've seen it happen with everyone in my family, LOL. If I got the age difference for Tali's kids wrong, let me know, please. I'm pretty sure I never explicitly said before, not that I could find going back through the other chapters.**


	27. The Ship That Carries You

**Had this idea after listening to Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men WAY too many times. Was originally going to be darker to fit the song more, but it just got way too depressing, so I made it happier.**

* * *

The dream did not leave Shepard right away, staying with him for minutes after he woke violently, sitting up so quickly he felt the bones of his shoulders crack. Sweat covered every inch of his body, his clothes sticking uncomfortably, no matter how he pulled at them. After a few unsuccessful attempts to pull the fabric off of his skin, he left his bed and ripped the clothes off, leaving them deposited on the ground next to the bed. A sigh drew his attention down to where Ashley lay, arm occupying the space where Shepard had lay moments earlier. He walked to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, rubbing his eyes fiercely. The nightmares would not leave him. He was assured by everyone they would eventually pass, that the nights would come when he was not tormented by the images that assaulted him when he was asleep. Days passed then weeks, then months, and the nightmares only grew worse. Not a night went by without them.

Shepard left the bedroom, casting a longing stare at the bed. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep. He slipped on a fresh pair of boxers, a pair of sweatpants, a tank top, and left the bedroom as quietly as he could manage. Just because he could not sleep did not mean Ashley should suffer the same. A group of four, all young and coming home from a night of drinking, exited the elevator when it opened. One of the girls looked at him questioningly for a moment, but Shepard ignored them all and no one said anything. Sleep threatened to overtake Shepard as the elevator descended. Considering his lack of sleep, that was not unexpected, but he could not sleep now, he had to avoid the nightmares. A hard slap woke him, if only temporarily. When the elevator reached the ground floor, Shepard ignored the receptionist that spoke to him, hurrying out of the apartment building. He shook his arms and legs out, took a deep breath, and began jogging.

* * *

The empty bed did not come as a surprise. It was all too common. Ashley tried so hard to help Shepard, to understand what he was going through and help him through it, to hold his hand through the nightmares and the doctors that made him talk through his problems. None of it seemed to help at all. If anything, Shepard seemed to be getting worse. Two days ago, they had been walking down the road, innocent enough, and Shepard had stopped in place, staring at nothing, a haunted look unlike anything Ashley had ever seen in those strong eyes that she loved so much. She said his name over and over, a little louder each time, but he would not respond. After a few minutes, a few frightening minutes that nearly brought Ashley to tears, Shepard snapped out of the trance, and took her hand as if nothing happened.

She knew that he tried his hardest not to disturb her at night, but it was hard enough to sleep knowing the man she loved was having such terrible dreams, let alone to sleep when he was twisting and turning beneath the blanket, making the type of pitiful sounds one would never expect to hear from Commander Shepard. It was hard to just shut your eyes and go back to sleep. At first, in those first couple of months, she tried to talk him through the nightmares, and get him to open up, but Shepard would refuse the notion, the two of them would fight, and nothing good came of it. Eventually, much against her nature, Ashley gave up and decided to let Shepard and the doctors handle it their way. She would be there though, ready to help whenever she could.

The source of the nightmares seemed to be whatever happened when the Crucible was activated. So many died that day, and the things Shepard saw, he refused to talk about. Not even with his doctors. Ashley had seen the aftermath. The Geth were dead, as was EDI. Tens of millions died above Earth, and hundreds of thousands more when the Reapers fell, unavoidable casualties from skyscraper sized machines dying where they stood and falling to the ground. Reapers fell from orbit for nearly an entire day, a horrific bombardment that drove everyone into underground shelters. Shepard felt the guilt for every one of those deaths, no matter how irrational such guilt was. "There might have been another way," he would argue. "We could have defeated the Reapers without the Crucible. Maybe I could have chosen another way." What other ways he meant, he would not say, and so Ashley could do nothing but hold him, hoping things would one day change, and the man she loved would no longer be so haunted.

* * *

Shepard chose to take the stairs up to the apartment when he returned from his jog, the steps creaking beneath his steps. There was no particular reason for him to take the stairs, he just decided to while standing in front of the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. He thought, as he climbed, about the nights where he swore the sound of footsteps walking these stairs would wake him. Ashley would tell him there was no way, even with their apartment's close proximity to the stairs there was no way he was hearing anyone, but Shepard knew he was. She would tell him to close his eyes, he needed to sleep. She did not understand.

An episode had visited him on his jog. It was always the simplest things, things no one ever seemed to understand, that triggered them. He passed by a business center, and saw a group of people standing near their cars, laughing and talking. They were dressed in the simple clothing of men who worked with their hands, the type of people who Shepard fought to protect as much as anyone else. For some reason, he decided slow down and walk, covertly watching as he passed by. After about thirty seconds, they got into their cars and began starting them up. One of the cars had trouble, and began making some strange sound. That was all it took. All Shepard could remember after that was running, the where did not matter, he needed to run, to get away as quickly as possible. A few people called out to him, but that only made him run faster. At some point, someone ended up on the ground, holding their jaw, but Shepard could not say what happened to the man. When he finally stopped, he was standing in front of the apartment building.

Unsurprisingly, Ashley was waiting for him when he walked into the apartment, sipping a glass of milk in the kitchen. She offered an unsure smile in his direction, and he hoped he was doing the same. "You feeling okay?" she asked.

Shepard shrugged, walking past her to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. He didn't even realize he was sweating so much until he saw her. "Fine, I guess. Went for a jog." His legs began to grow sore again. Five months after leaving the hospital, and he still couldn't handle a simple jog without every bone in his legs feeling as if they would break if he took another step. On cue, he nearly collapsed, only saved from a fall by Ashley catching him. She helped him over to the couch in the living room, setting him down gently. "Maybe not so fine," Shepard tried to joke as tears of pain formed in his eyes.

"I'll go grab your water. Don't move." Ashley tried to sound calm, but her barely contained fury and frustration was evident in her voice. Shepard lay on the couch while she walked to the kitchen and grabbed his water, and Ashley placed it on the ground near him. "Skipper, it kills me to see you like this. I wish you would talk to me."

Shepard wished he could talk to her as well, but he could not do it. How could she understand? How could the doctors understand? At any point while walking down the street, something may trigger an episode that at best leaves him on the ground shaking, and at its worst had resulted in some poor soul being assaulted. The Alliance tried their best to keep those two incidents from going public, unsuccessfully of course. Shepard had reached the point where he could not trust himself to be outside his apartment alone. "I'm okay."

"You just collapsed. You went for a jog at two in the morning." Ashley sat next to him, hesitance in her every movement. "Did it happen again?" Shepard knew his silence gave her the answer. More tears formed, these having nothing to do with the pain in his legs.

* * *

Ashley sat in the chair outside the psychiatrist's office, waiting patiently. Patience wasn't her strong suit, but for Shepard, she would be wait. Sometimes she was allowed inside the office while he talked to the doctor, and sometimes she was even requested to be there, but today was not one of those days. Left alone with her thoughts, her mind wandered to the days when Shepard would talk to her about any problems he was having. He had no choice, she figured, since those days were all onboard the Normandy, when Shepard was not allowed to break, to falter, to show weakness. When he was on the verge, he would spill everything on his mind to her, and always feel better afterwards. Those talks were the only glimpses inside his mind that Shepard allowed, and Ashley had treasured all of them.

It was no small part of her that felt jealousy that Shepard was now divulging those thoughts to some doctor, instead of her. It didn't help that the doctor was a woman. Dr. Patrick was a nice woman who came highly recommended, but Shepard was Ashley's, and that possessiveness applied to everything in his life. Many a night she would be alone in bed, wondering why he could not talk to her. It was a helplessness that she had avoided throughout her life, even at the expense of other relationships. Ashley Shepard did not like to feel helpless, and that was exactly what Shepard's problem made her feel.

Ashley had begun to doze off when the door opened, and she heard the last thing she expected: laughter. Not uneasy, forced laughter either, but a genuine chuckle. She stood from her chair immediately, hope spreading through her. Shepard never laughed after leaving this office, not ever. A smile was on his face when he turned to look at her, an absolutely gorgeous sight that made her melt. She didn't see that smile enough these days. "I didn't expect to see you so happy right now," Ashley teased.

Shepard shrugged. "It was a good day."

"Oh? Why?"

"I…can't really give a specific reason. I just feel better today." Again, he flashed his smile. "Therapy seemed to work better. I feel good."

Such a simple, vague thing to say, yet it did wonders for Ashley's own state of mind. "I am very happy to hear that. Feel like going out to eat?" she asked, taking Shepard's hand.

The two of them decided on a sandwich shop, though they ate very little once the food was actually in front of them. Most their time was spent talking, Shepard uncharacteristically open about his therapy. According to him, Dr. Patrick thought he had made enough progress to begin limiting their sessions to every other week, rather than every week. For the first time, Shepard thought he was getting better. The episodes were no longer visiting him and he was sleeping entire nights sometimes. The nightmares were lesser in intensity when they did visit. "I think I'm good, Ash."

She could see it just by looking at him at that moment. He was smiling, his skin wasn't so pale, his eyes not as haunted. There was an energetic, happy air around him, one she had not seen since the days before he turned himself in to the Alliance, six months before the Reapers invaded. "Maybe this will be over soon, and we can move past it?"

"I hope so, Ash."

* * *

They were all leaving him, one by one. He ran as fast as he could, but by the time he caught up they were gone. First it was Anderson, shot dead by a geth trooper. Then it was his mother and father, a mercenary's blade run through them. One by one, he watched all of his friends die. Garrus, Tali, Wrex, Liara, Kaidan, they all fell dead before Shepard. He was too slow, too fucking slow to do anything. He was helpless as the homes of the people he fought to defend blew apart in clouds of dust. He tried to help a family leave their home, but again was too late to help before a beam sliced through the foundation, a pile of concrete and body parts where they had stood moments earlier. Shepard yelled, refusing to lose hope. Hope could not be lost yet. She was still out here, somewhere.

A voice screamed his name, a voice he knew. To that point, the screams had all sounded the same, but this one was different. With renewed energy, Shepard ran through streets of fire and destruction, an orange glow the only light, yet enough to see every detail of the destruction around him. The voice was loud, clear, desperate for his help. He ran faster than he ever thought possible, everything a blur. The first thing he recognized was the hair, the beautiful dark hair. She was standing in front of a bombed out building the husk of steel beams twisted and bent, ready to give out at any moment. "Move!" Shepard shouted, knowing what was about to happen. "Move! For God's sake, move!" The screech of metal pierced his ears, made him crouch and cover them. It was too late when he looked back up.

When he reached the rubble, he began clawing at the collapsed concrete and steel, a superhuman strength coursing through his muscles. When he found her, she was beneath two large beams, pinning her lower body. Her eyes were open, clouded with pain. Shepard immediately began lifting rubble away, but he could not move the beams. Ashley's mouth moved soundlessly, the words not reaching his ears. Every muscle in his body strained as he tried to lift the beams away, a scream of frustration escaping his lips. It was not until a hand grabbed his arm that he stopped, the contact cold, yet warm at the same time. "John, go," Ashley whispered, strength returning to her for an all too brief moment. "Please, just leave."

"No!" he shouted, voice pained. "I won't do that! I love you!"

"I love you too, John. Please, trust me. Walk away. Stop fighting this fight."

"Ash, I can't! I can't lose you!"

Her hand let go of his arm, and he fell to his knees, cradling her head in his lap. The tears flowed freely down his face. He was going to lose everyone he loved, again. "You will not lose me, I promise. Let me go, and you will see me again. No matter what happens, I will be there." With a reluctance nearly strong enough to overwhelm him, and one final kiss to Ashley's forehead, he stood. Almost immediately, the nightmare began to dissipate. The fires stopped burning, the stench disappeared, and a peace began to restore itself within his mind. A weariness overtook his body, and Shepard fell, never feeling the ground beneath him.

He sat up quickly, covered in sweat, his clothes sticking to his body uncomfortably. Shepard took a few deep breaths, calming himself. When he looked over, Ashley was sitting up with him, her hand resting on his back. Surprising even to him, he smiled at her. "I'm surprised you still wake up when I have a nightmare."

"This seemed like a bad one. I tried ignoring you, but that wasn't working very well." Shepard laughed and lay back down, taking Ashley with him. She didn't hesitate to cuddle close to him. "Are you okay?"

Shepard almost said yes, to go back to sleep, but instead found himself describing his nightmare. He didn't know why he did it, but once he started, any thought of stopping was too late. When he was done, he didn't look over at Ashley right away. He expected her to be overwhelmed by everything he just said. Instead, she kissed him on the cheek. "What was that for?"

"Just showing you that I'm here. Dream me didn't lie."

"No, no you didn't." Shepard looked down, and all he could think was that this was one of the reasons he loved Ashley so much. She really was here, no matter what happened. She was his anchor, his ship that would always carry him safely back to shore. He closed his eyes, and hugged her closer.

* * *

**I don't know why I never did a chapter like this before. There's just no way Shepard lives through the series without being seriously screwed up by what happened. As always, read and review at your leisure. **


	28. You Died?

It was completely by accident that Maddy found the article. She had been doing research for a term paper, and a friend sent a link to an extranet site that would help. One of the articles on the site mentioned something about the memorial at the crash site of the first Normandy, on the planet Alchera. Being who she is, she had to click on it. She was reading how the memorial had seen a steady decline in visitors, and government officials on the planet wanted to move the memorial inside of a museum, when she saw the words, thrown in like it was nothing. _The crash, the result of a Collector attack initially believed to have killed Systems Alliance Commander John Shepard_, _hero of the Reaper War_, and then nothing mentioning it again. It sounded so ridiculous, so crazy, yet before she knew it Maddy was searching the extranet for every bit of info on the SR1's crash. After reading the articles initially following the attack, she began to cry. The idea was crazy, yet every article reporting the crash when it happened said the same thing. Her father had died in the attack on the Normandy SR1, yet he was alive now. Was it all a lie, his death faked for some reason? Further research suggested that one day, John Shepard had simply returned, six months before the mission to destroy the Collector base and seven before the Alpha Relay incident. There was no mention of where he had been, it was like there some random two year gap in her father's life, that just happened to have occurred after his death was reported by every single media outlet in the galaxy. Even the Alliance itself did not release an official statement until three months after the Dad's apparent return, and it was some halfhearted, completely fake sounding statement saying he had been a part of some classified mission.

That weekend, the first opportunity Maddy had, she was on a shuttle heading home. She had questions that needed to be answered, and had decided that she would not take no for an answer. Her resolve wavered as soon as she stepped out of the shuttle, and she met her father's eyes. Damn him, she thought, as she hurried over to give her parents and twin sisters hugs. Damn him to hell. She was ready to chicken out the moment she saw him. After all the hugs and pleasantries were over, they left the spaceport and piled into her parents' skycar. All the questions were directed at Maddy, never allowing her a chance to ask what she came to ask, and she actually found herself relieved at the delay. Anna and Jennifer somehow looked completely different, even after only three months away from home. Taller, prettier, wearing more grownup clothes. Not for the first time, Maddy realized they would probably be more attractive than she ever would be. They talked and talked and talked about school, for the most part enjoying the second grade it seemed. It was not until after dinner, when Anna and Jennifer were over Maddy's return and off doing whatever they did these days that Maddy again worked up the courage. She was bringing the dirty dishes into the kitchen, where both her parents were washing them. "Mom, Dad, can I talk to you?"

Mom, of course, immediately became serious, and Maddy could see she thought it was bad news they were about to talk about. Dad was aloof as ever. "Sure, let us finish loading these dishes and we'll be over after."

"I'm not trying to be rude, but I'd rather talk right away, before I lose my nerve."

That made her father take the request more seriously. The three of them headed outside, at Maddy's request, and took a seat in the lawn chairs on the back porch. Maddy's resolve began to waver again. "Go ahead, whatever it is you clearly need to get it off your chest," Mom said.

"Well, I was doing research for a paper, and I found something kind of disturbing. About the first Normandy." Realization appeared in both her parents' eyes, all the answer she needed. Still, she needed to hear it spoken. "Dad, everyone seemed to think were dead. What exactly happened?"

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" he asked. He seemed willing, only asking to make sure she was sure.

"Yes." There was complete certainty in Maddy's tone, and she felt nothing but that certainty. Now that the question was out there, her doubt was gone, replaced by the need to know exactly what had happened.

"So how much do you know already?" Dad asked.

"Just what I found on the extranet. The Collectors attacked and destroyed the Normandy SR1, and you were one of the casualties. Two years passed where the galaxy believed you were dead, and then suddenly you reappeared, six months before the SR2 passed through the Omega 4 relay and destroyed the Collector Base."

Dad chuckled, of course he would chuckle about this. "You know more than I thought you would."

"So its true?" He nodded, the humor leaving his expression. "How are you here then?"

Maddy listened intently as her father told her everything. The attack on the Normandy, suffocating above Alchera, waking up in the Cerberus lab two years later. He told what he knew about the Shadow Broker retrieving his body, Liara's efforts to take him back, and her role in turning his body over to Cerberus. He told what he knew of the Lazarus Project, which was not much, and how Miranda led the project. When he was done, Maddy could only stare, mouth agape as she tried to speak, but not knowing what words could possibly be spoken at that moment. "Jesus, Dad…"

"Was that too much for one sitting?" he asked, genuinely concerned. "Sorry. To tell you the truth, I would have preferred to never tell you or your sisters about this, but you seemed determined. Besides, you already knew I died. The details couldn't have been worse than knowing that."

Maddy had to disagree with that. Its one thing to know your father died and was brought back, its another to hear that he was a slab of meat reconstructed over the course of two years. She still was unable to do anything but stare in shock, trying desperately to come to grips with what she was told. She simply did not expect it to be that serious. "I thought maybe you were brain dead, but kept alive while you somehow were treated for it. I never expected to hear all this." A realization came to Maddy. "I've always wondered why you worked with Cerberus, and figured there was more to it than them being the only ones trying to stop the Collectors. Owing them your very existence is a pretty damn good reason."

Dad shook his head. "I was not lying when I told you I worked with Cerberus because they were the only ones concerned with stopping the Collectors. I certainly did not work for them because I felt I owed them my life. Actually, I was bitter towards them. You know I'm not the most religious person in the world, but to this day I feel like what they did was…unnatural. Even with all the good that people will argue came from me coming back, I still feel like I don't belong sometimes." Tears formed in Mom's eyes, and she grasped one of Dad's hands.

Everything hit Maddy in that moment, overwhelming her. "I'm sorry, can we continue later," she choked out, holding back her sobs the best she could. Dad nodded, and she hurried away to one of the bathrooms before anyone saw the tears streaming down her face.

The next morning, while Mom was cooking breakfast and keeping her sisters preoccupied, Maddy and her father returned to the backyard to continue their discussion. "What happened when you died? Did you, you know, see anything?"

Dad smiled evasively. "It was no different than sleeping," he said. "When I woke, I had no idea I had died. I remember blacking out in space, and then nothing until I woke up briefly while my body was still in awful condition. Then I was put under again, until I woke up for good on the Cerberus station." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I can't say for certain if I was ever truly dead, despite what Miranda insists. Maybe I never truly died, or maybe I wasn't a good enough person to make it into heaven, so my soul lingered until I was brought back. I just don't know."

The idea of her father not being a good enough man to get into heaven was absurd to Maddy. "Or maybe God needed you to stay here and defeat the Reapers."

"I would never be so egotistical as to think something like that."

"But maybe its true," Maddy argued. Her dad shrugged. Deciding it was time to change the subject, she asked, "How do you handle being told you were dead? How can anyone handle something like that?"

"How does anyone handle it?" Dad said. "I can't really say it hit me just what I came back from until I saw your mother on Horizon. Until then, I was able to keep fooling myself into believing nothing had really changed and everything could go back to the way it was. After that, I got violent. I don't know any other way to put it. I became a completely different person. Stopped believing in anything, stopped caring about anyone. I put my crew into danger I never would have, before or after. I put myself in even worse danger. I ignored my friends ignored all advice, lashed out at everyone. Basically, I was the exact opposite of the person you know."

Maddy could not imagine her father acting that way. He had never been anything short of the most selfless, caring person she had ever known, determined to keep anyone he loved from feeling any pain or facing any danger. "What helped you stop feeling so angry?"

Dad appeared puzzled, as if he never thought about this before. "I guess, I don't know I guess I would have to say time and the support of my friends. They refused to abandon me, refused to stop listening, no matter how I tried to push them away. It was gradual, but I got better. I can't really point to any one thing."

After breakfast, Maddy decided to talk to Mom. "How did you take it when you found out Dad was still alive?"

"Awful," she admitted. "About as badly as I could have. When I saw him, I screamed and yelled and accused him of every awful thing I could think of. Then, when we departed, I barely managed to hold myself together long enough to make my report before breaking down."

No matter how she tried, Maddy could not imagine her mom that way. "I'm having a hard time with what he told me about dying. The idea that there's nothing after we die, its really troubling me."

"I know how you feel," Mom said. "I had my own doubts when I spoke with him about the same thing. It took me a while to come to terms with him seeing nothing."

"What reaffirmed your faith?"

Mom smiled. "Everything your father did afterwards. What he did was a miracle, something no one else could have done. I fully believe it was fate, God's plan, that he be brought back to lead us against the Reapers."

Maddy had to smile at how similar her mother's thoughts were to her own. "I thought the same thing. That's what I told Dad when I talked to him about this."

"And I'm sure he said it was crazy."

Maddy giggled. "No, not that far. He sure doesn't believe it though."

That night, after Maddy had purchased her shuttle ticket for the next morning, her parents came to her. "We want to make sure you're okay," Dad said. "This is far from a normal thing to find out about any loved one, let alone your father."

"I'm…not exactly okay, but I'm dealing with it. Its not like he's been gone for two years, like when you found out. Its just…Jesus, Dad. You were dead? Dead dead? There's nothing I can say that rationalizes that. I might end up calling and coming home more often, just to make myself feel better, if that's alright."

"I'm not going to complain if my little girl comes home more often."

"I'm not a little girl, Dad."

He scoffed. "Bullshit, you'll always be my little girl." When Maddy laughed at his language, he added, "Dads are allowed to call their eighteen year old daughter their little girl and curse in the same sentence."

"Skipper…" Mom said chidingly. "How about we go out somewhere tonight? Our treat."

Maddy shook her head. "That's okay. I promised Anna and Jennifer I'd spend the night doing what they want." When she saw the grimaces on her parents' faces, her smile disappeared. "Uh oh, should I be worried?" They just laughed. "By the way, I'd suggest telling them about this when you think they're old enough. They aren't as calm as I am, and if they find out on their own it would probably be much worse then how I reacted."

Surprisingly, they seemed to consider it. "You're probably right. I'm shocked you are taking this well at all," Mom said.

"I'm not taking it well," Maddy insisted. "I'm just managing not to totally freak out, somehow. You're here, you're fine, and I don't have to worry about that happening again, do I?" Dad rubbed his chin thoughtfully, as if he was seriously considering the question. "Dad! That's not funny!"

He laughed, the asshole. "I know, I'm sorry." He put one arm around Maddy and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Maddy."

She hugged her father back. "I love you too, Dad. Just don't go anywhere, okay? You and Mom aren't allowed to die until I'm old and have grandkids."

* * *

**I wasn't planning on writing about this, but I've had a few requests for it now, and I'm pretty sure I never covered it before, so I'm giving the people what they want. I try my best to make sure there are no inconsistencies with the game or previous chapters, and if anyone spots a serious one themselves let me know. I'm also open to expanding if there's something people felt I should have covered, besides the twins finding out. You can basically consider that as going the same way this did, since they are too young to find out now. Hope you enjoyed!**


	29. Date Night

**Request chapter! I've already done a date chapter, but I think I did something different with this one, even if some elements are the same. Enjoy!**

* * *

Ashley huffed as she looked through her closet, disgusted at absolutely every piece of clothing she saw. The tops were too revealing, too conservative, the wrong color or type. The pants were ugly and didn't match anything. The dresses just weren't right, none of them. So she sighed angrily, and began flipping through them again. This was so unlike her, to fret over what she was going to wear. Normally, she was satisfied with throwing on just about anything, only worrying about impressing anyone if it was required, such as meetings with superior officers or ceremonies. This just felt different though, she wanted to look good and nothing she saw was satisfying her urge to look good. It had to be the hormones, she thought bitterly. In the two and a half months since she gave birth to Maddy, she just felt ugly. No matter how much Shepard told her otherwise, no matter how much her sisters told her she was glowing, she thought she looked gross. She pulled out a skirt, knee length, that Lynn had given her a year ago, looked it over, and threw it with the rest of the clothes she was at least considering.

Her disgust with her looks is what prompted her sisters to insist she and Shepard go out for a night on the town. Apparently she was a drag, no fun at all to be around, and her husband needed to take her out and maker her feel hot in more ways than one. Ashley tried to explain to them that Shepard had never, not once, done anything to make her feel anything less than beautiful, but they would take another look at her, see the disgust with herself in her eyes, and refuse to believe her. So Sarah and Mom were going to watch Maddy, while Shepard took Ashley out for a night on the town, and they just would not take no for an answer.

Just when Ashley was on the verge of deciding on an outfit, a pair of dress pants and a tight fighting blue blouse, a cry echoed through the house, a sound already as familiar as breathing. Dropping the blouse from her hands, and not even bothering to throw on a shirt over her bra, she left the bedroom, but only took a couple steps before a hand gripped her arm and stopped her. "I'll take care of it," Sarah said, holding Ashley back and walking past.

"No, I'll take care of it," Ashley said, wrenching her arm free.

"You're supposed to be getting ready for a night out," Sarah argued. "Get to it."

"Damn it, she's my daughter, now back the fuck off," Ashley hissed. She loved her family, but if they kept insisting on getting between her and her infant, two month old daughter then she was going to end up punching one of them out. Thankfully, Sarah backed off, no fear in her eyes but she backed off all the same. Ashley hurried to the baby's room, where Maddy was not crying quite as loudly anymore. She picked her daughter up, emotion building up immediately. That was another annoying emotional thing that kept happening to her. At any moment while holding or just being around her daughter, tears would form quickly and render her an emotional wreck. Joyful tears, frightened tears, random tears that fell for no reason, they would just happen. Right now, they were joyful tears.

Maddy calmed immediately upon being lifted in her mother's arms. When she giggled and reached a hand up to Ashley's face, the new mother could not hold back the tears any longer. She hated being so emotional, thought it would be over when she had the baby, but how could she not get emotional when she was holding her daughter, a living, breathing baby girl that she had given birth to, that she and the man she loved had created? Jesus, this was her baby! As familiar as the routine of taking care of Maddy was already becoming, this moments of awe at the fact she was a mother still came upon Ashley unpredictably, often making her look like some psychotic weirdo in front of others. It was so unlike her. Ashley Shepard was not a woman who cried. She was not a woman who was soft. The only emotion she had trouble reigning in was anger. And now she was a crying, soft, emotional mess. Ugh, no wonder she didn't think she was attractive right now. How attractive could a woman trying to burn off baby weight that was prone to random outbursts of tears possibly be?

The tears came and quickly went just the same, and when Maddy had calmed down again, Ashley put her down. She called out for Sarah to bring a bottle, and when her sister entered the room, Ashley reluctantly went back to the bedroom, where the pile of clothes was still waiting for her to choose from. The blue blouse she had nearly chosen was still on the bed, but when Ashley picked it up, she made a noise of disgust and threw it on the ground.

* * *

Shepard's eyes wandered to the clock in the car for the tenth time since he began his drive home, sweat continuing to trickle from his hairline and down his face. He was already ten minutes late, and was another fifteen from the apartment. Dreadful scenarios of insults flung from furious lips and punches bruising and swelling his face and body ran through his mind, making him reconsider going home at all. That would only make things worse, and he knew such thoughts were stupid, but Ashley was such a hormonal mess that he knew she would not react calmly to his being late. He loved her, of course, but she was still scary.

Shepard was already dressed, wearing his blue Alliance dress pants and a blue t-shirt. Since everything he owned that was not at home was Alliance issue, he didn't have much in the way of options, and figured the clothing choice was the best he could do. The plan wasn't to go anywhere particularly fancy, and he didn't want to wear his full Alliance dress uniform anyway. Since he was late, he probably wouldn't have more than a minute or two to see his daughter, which made him a little angry. He was always so busy, talking to leaders of every race and overseeing rebuilding efforts and overseeing efforts to wipe out the last remnants of Cerberus cells still out there. He had probably spent two weeks at most with his daughter so far, and the guilt was beginning to get to him. If Shepard had the choice, he would spend the night at home, sitting on the couch with Maddy in his arms and Ashley sitting with them, telling him everything he missed. Apparently he didn't have that choice though, he thought bitterly.

Twenty more minutes passed before he reached the front door of the apartment, the extra five minutes because of some incident at a nearby apartment building. He opened the door to the sight of an angry Sarah Williams. "Its about time," she said angrily. "Where have you been?"

"Don't even start with me," Shepard told her, not even remotely in the mood to deal with his wife's youngest sister.

"You were supposed to be here half an hour ago," Sarah continued.

"And I was unable to." Shepard walked past the young woman, ignoring her completely. He could hear frustrated sighs coming from the bedroom, and walked in to see Ashley looking disgustedly at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a pair of dress pants of beige dress pants, hugging the curves of her hips, a blue blouse, and was messing around with her hair, apparently trying to decide how to wear it. "Hey Ash…" he greeted, but before she answered an arm pulled him away. "What is your problem?" Shepard yelled angrily at Sarah.

"Wait until she's done!" Sarah yelled back.

With a furious shake of his head, Shepard went to Maddy's bedroom, where his building fury quickly dissipated. Maddy was sitting up in her crib, a small plush animal in her hand, which she was shaking around, mindlessly moving it and hitting it on the blanket below her. His daughter's hair was continuing to thicken, the dark strands so like Ashley's. He could see it already, Maddy was going to look just like her mother. She looked up at him, continuing to play with her toy, and when Shepard smiled at her she smiled back. He must have watched his daughter for a while, because eventually Ashley entered the room and stood next to him. She had apparently decided to wear her hair down. "Ready?" she asked while they watched their daughter together.

Reluctantly, Shepard stood straight, taking his gaze away from his daughter. He took his wife's hand, smiled, and said, "Yep. Let's go."

Their first destination, to see an action movie both were interested in, did not go well, and should have served as an omen of the evening ahead. Because Shepard had been late getting home, they missed the showing they had planned on and the next showing was not for another four hours. They moved on to their next destination, an outdoor free concert being held in a park, only to find out that the band putting on the concert was not going to show because the lead guitarist had the flu. Both Ashley and Shepard were frustrated, but decided to move on again. Next up was a dance club named Seven, a stupid name, Shepard thought. They got inside quickly, the evening appearing to go their way for the first time. Shepard did his best not to embarrass his wife as they danced, and the two of them managed to have a good time for about an hour, alternating between dancing and having some drinks at the bar. They each only had two alcoholic drinks, not wanting to get drunk. The depressing mood over the theater and concert finally began to disappear.

Shepard came back from a trip to the bathroom to find Ashley scowling as two men no older than their very early twenties hit on her. He hung back for a few moments, figuring that Ashley would enjoy the attention for a few minutes, despite the scowl on her face. If she was going to refuse to believe him when he tried to tell her she was still beautiful, maybe getting a few jerks making lewd comments would convince her otherwise. The two men were crude, immature, every few seconds trying to plant a hand on her arm or shoulder to test the boundaries, which were always shrugged off annoyingly. After about five minutes of watching Ashley's scowl grow in intensity, he walked over to rejoin her. He pushed past one of the young men, and threw an arm around his wife. "She's taken, guys. Get out of here."

"Fuck off, maybe she wants someone new," the guy to the right said. The other one backed off. It came as a surprise that neither of them knew who he was. Everyone in the galaxy seemed to know who Shepard was, especially guys in their twenties who usually told him how much they looked up to him.

That triggered Ashley, who stood quickly and glared. Shepard had to give the kid credit, he held his ground and continued to stare lustfully at her. Shepard knew better than to get into fights with these type of people, and took Ashley's hand. The two of them began to walk away, when the young man grabbed Shepard's arm, spun him around, and threw a wide, slow, easy to dodge punch. He ducked under it, but rather than throw his own punch, caught the attacker's arm and twisted it. The young man, eyes now wide with fear, tried to yank away until he realized it would only cause more pain. Shepard was willing to let things go at that, but Ashley apparently was not. Shepard did not see her punch until it was connecting with the man's jaw, knocking him to the ground. Security chose that moment to step in, three very large men built like bulls. Shepard and Ashley were promptly escorted out of the building, which he had to admit was much to his delight. He had had enough.

The two of them stood next to their car, letting their anger boil off. Ashley, in particular, appeared to be ready to run back inside the club and continue beating the shit out of the kid that started the fight. With no other idea what to do, Shepard just rubbed her back, hoping she would calm down. "This little date night idea refuses to go right, huh?" That made Ashley giggle, which was a minor victory anyway. "I don't want to sound like a jerk, but I'm ready to go home. How about you?"

"I don't want to sound like a jerk either, but I've been ready to go home since the movie theater. I've been lukewarm about this all day."

Shepard wasn't sure if admitting he felt the same way would make her feel better or worse. "I guess at this point going home would be nice. I would like to spend some time with my daughter, after all."

Ashley smiled, a good sign. "Maddy hasn't left my mind since the moment we left the house." Her eyes started to tear up, and she immediately wiped them away. "Are you kidding me, even here and now? I hate this so much."

Shepard couldn't resist a chuckle at his overemotional wife. Thankfully, she chuckled as well. "Let's go home, Ash." Shepard drove, following the increasing traffic. Ashley was too quiet, and Shepard could feel her moodiness overpowering them both. "Well, at least you got a little proof that you're still smoking hot."

Ashley scoffed. "All they did was make me mad." Her voice wasn't entirely sincere. "What, do you like that kind of thing? Were you hoping I would?"

Now he regretted bringing this up. "No, I just thought you would be happy to hear from someone else that you're still beautiful."

"I don't need to hear it from anyone else," Ashley argued. "I don't care what anyone besides you thinks."

"You get mad whenever I tell you you're still gorgeous."

"Because I know you would never admit if I'm not!"

Shepard did not know what the hell to say. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"I just had a baby, I'm allowed to not make sense!"

That was it. That was the final straw. Shepard pulled away from traffic, parked at the first opportunity, and began to laugh. He laughed loud, heartily, and for minutes on end. At some point Ashley began laughing too, and the two of them did so together for a long time. When they finally stopped, rubbing the tears from their eyes, they shared a kiss, and Shepard began driving home again.

* * *

Sarah was sitting in the recliner in the living room, eyes closed and Maddy asleep against her upper body, when Shepard and Ashley got home. As carefully as she could, Ashley removed Maddy from her sister's grasp, only to be surprised by a hand gripping her wrist hard enough to hurt. "Its okay," she whispered. "Its me, Sarah, go back to sleep." Sarah blinked a few times, muttered something that wasn't understandable, and then closed them again. Ashley carried Maddy to her room, Shepard by her side the entire time. The baby never woke, adorably asleep in her arms. Surprisingly, the tears did not come. Ashley looked over at her husband, noticing the longing in his eyes. "Here, Skipper," she said, gently handing Maddy over.

Shepard was surprised, and his gratefulness showed just as much as his love as he took Maddy in his arms. The frustrations of the day melted away as Ashley watched her husband and her daughter. She felt her own love, overpowering her, making her regret any ridiculous thoughts or doubts she ever had about whether Shepard still cared for her, whether he had regrets over having a child in his life. She knew they were stupid doubts to have, but her mother assured her they were normal. Not that she believed that. She wondered if Shepard ever felt any doubts like that about her. "You are absolutely amazing, John," she whispered, a beaming, bright smile on her face, stretching from ear to ear.

He looked up at her, the fatherly love from before replaced by a different love, the love she also felt towards him, as well as pure, physical, animalistic lust. Carefully, Shepard placed Maddy in her crib and pulled her blanket over her. Ashley had backed up to the doorway by this point, intending to make Shepard work for this. They had not had sex since Ashley was eight months pregnant, and even that wasn't particularly good sex. Shepard did not disappoint her, stalking forward hungrily, every step quicker than the previous. She backed out into the hallway, and when she turned to jog to the bedroom it was too late. A pair of arms encircled her from behind, lifting her from the ground. Ashley found herself carried into their bedroom, and thrown to the bed. Her own clothes were discarded before Shepard could even remove his shoes, and she did not let him remove the rest before dragging him down to her.


End file.
